Nude men abandon transatlantic paddle boat quest, again

What separates man from beast is not the opposable thumb. Even ‘possums have those, after all.

Dutch sailor Laura Dekker selected a proper boat for her 'round the world voyage. (AP Photo/Stephan Kogelman)

No, what makes humans truly unique in the animal kingdom is the ability to dream brave dreams, vanquish new, uncharted realms (cue Star Trek theme music) and boldly go where no naked pair of paddle boaters has ever gone before.

Such is the tale of clothing-challenged co-captains Kieran Sweeney, 26, and Callum MacDonald, 25, who hail from some place in England I’ve never heard of.

The BBC reports Tuesday that Sweeney and MacDonald were forced to abandon their quest of paddling a boat naked across the Atlantic Ocean, which is really big.

Food (not sun) poisoning and a helicopter rescue halted the noble mission, the BBC reports.

Also, the handmade 22-foot watercraft was getting slammed by waves reminiscent of “getting hit by a small car.”

The engineers, who prefer to boat nude to “reduce chafing” and may want to consider a Gold Bond Powder sponsorship,  will attempt a 4th nude crossing of the ocean later this year.

• In other boating news: A 16-year-old girl with far less education chose her boat more wisely and managed to sail around the world alone.