Woman damages $30 million painting with buttocks

Art lover Carmen Lucette Tisch.

“Smooth as a baby’s bottom” is clearly not a phrase that can be used to describe the anatomy of a 36-year-old Denver woman accused of damaging a $30 million work of art with her naked posterior.

The art attack caused $10,000 in damage to the Clyfford Still abstract painting entitled “1957-J-No. 2,” The Denver Post reports.

Police say Carmen Lucette Tisch visited Denver’s Clyfford Still Museum Dec. 29 and pulled down her pants before punching the painting, sliding her bottom across it and urinating on herself.

“You have to wonder where her friends were,” said a spokeswoman for the Denver District Attorney’s Office.

Tisch is charged with criminal mischief, a charge punishable by up to 12 years in prison, and held on a $20,000 bond.

The painting can likely be repaired, Denver art gallery owner Ivar Zeile told the Post, adding that “just knowing what happened” to the art piece damages it forever in his mind.