Ashes to ashes, body to syrup

It’s a choice we all must make: coffin or urn, burial or cremation.

This is not an industrial washing machine.

This is not an industrial washing machine.

Before making a rash decision, consider the new alternative of having yourself, or a loved one, liquefied into a “brown syrup” that can be flushed down a toilet.

The Daily Mail has a good report on the latest in funeral home technology, and says Florida is the seventh U.S. state to legalize “chemical cremation.”

The good folks at Anderson-McQueen funeral home in St. Petersburg were quick to purchase an ’alkaline hydrolysis’ unit from a UK-based company.

The $300,000 machine works by immersing a body in a solution of water and potassium hydroxide, which is then pressurised and heated to 356 degrees Fahrenheit for about three hours.

The result? A few pints of green-brown tinted liquid containing amino acids, peptides, sugars and salts and soft, porous white bone remains which are easily crushed, says the Daily Mail.

The crushed bone can be returned to next of kin as ashes; the syrupy mixture can be applied to a memorial garden or “simply put into the sewerage system,” which should boost the sale of water purifiers.

Resomation Ltd, manufacturer of the machine, claims the system reduces cremation greenhouse gas emissions by 35 percent, and that mercury emissions – typically released from dental fillings when burned – are eliminated.

The process — dubbed “resomation” — is legal in Florida, Minnesota, Maryland, Oregon, Kansas, Colorado and Maine, according to ABC News.

Company founder Sandy Sullivan said: “Let’s face it – there’s no nice way to go.”

“If you stood in front of a cremation, with the flames and heat, it seems violent. You go next door and the resomation is quiet.”

“We’re using the exact same chemistry that’s carried out by bacteria but instead of happening over months and years, it happens in three hours.”

51 comments Add your comment

DM

September 20th, 2011
1:43 pm

Who wants to filter that out of your drinking water?

JACKIE

September 20th, 2011
1:52 pm

GREAT….BECAUSE MY FINAL WISH WAS TO BE FLUSHED DOWN THE TOILET………..

tmitch

September 20th, 2011
1:58 pm

My friends can’t “Smoke me” if I’m a brown syrup!!!!

Soylent Green...

September 20th, 2011
2:06 pm

can’t be too far away…..eat the rich!

Crazy

September 20th, 2011
2:32 pm

What will they come up with next?????

Gibbs

September 20th, 2011
2:51 pm

How do guys who pump septic systems feel about this?

Chuck

September 20th, 2011
2:52 pm

Wow…that all I have to say.

Rick Day

September 20th, 2011
2:53 pm

Quick, someone shop a Soylant Green Label on that thing!

Samantha

September 20th, 2011
2:57 pm

THIS IS UTTERLY DISGUSTING!!!

Bo

September 20th, 2011
3:02 pm

How is it over pancakes or waffles?

BOB FROM ACCOUNT TEMPS

September 20th, 2011
3:03 pm

i wonder if some junkie will try to mainline this goo?

Circle R

September 20th, 2011
3:04 pm

“Say, these pancakes are delicious! Is that real maple syrup?”

Mellie D

September 20th, 2011
3:06 pm

Gross!!!
1. I don’t want to look like diarrhea when I go.
2. I don’t want to look like a melted Slurpee when I go.
3. I know how to spell percent – as one word, NOT TWO! Seriously? 35 per cent?

bulldawgbob

September 20th, 2011
3:06 pm

Take my liquid remains and spray me over the playing field at Sanford Stadium.

K-Ster

September 20th, 2011
3:07 pm

Who wants to take shots of granny?!?!?!?!

Drink up

September 20th, 2011
3:16 pm

Poor Guy

September 20th, 2011
3:17 pm

Bo, it depends on the type person you were. Could be sweet, bitter, bland or have a funny taste.

Atlanta Native

September 20th, 2011
3:23 pm

When life gives you humans, make humanade!

JH

September 20th, 2011
3:27 pm

Mellie D – Several news organizations follow Associated Press writing style. According to Associated Press, that is the correct spelling of per cent. Love it or hate it, it’s correct.

scubike

September 20th, 2011
3:33 pm

anybody remember Soylent Green?

Sonna B

September 20th, 2011
3:38 pm

SOYLENT GREEN IS PEOPLE……SOYLENT GREEN IS PEOPLE!!! I remember the movie and it seems like some of it will be true before too much longer if we don’t watch out!!

Aunt Jemima

September 20th, 2011
4:02 pm

This process should be mandated for everyone which would preserve any more valuable land from being wasted as cemeteries and also help eliminate the emissions from cremations too. Makes perfect sense! Next they can figure out what to do with the nutritional brown syrup besides using as fertilizer or much worse dumping into the sewer system wasting this marvelous concoction. I have no problem with donations of deceased love ones syrup to the local pancake & waffle houses. Add a little more sugar, some fruit or maple flavor and you have syrup that can be enjoyed by all. Alternatively, mix in meat drippings and stock and use as a gravy for mashed potatoes. It is right we honor our deceased friends and relatives this way. God approves.

Just J

September 20th, 2011
4:06 pm

Beloved Mable the circus clown dies and has her remains turned into syrup, with the bottle labeled “Mable Syrup” and left in the dressing trailer. Weeks later, the lion tamer and a tight rope walker are eating pancakes in the trailer and accidentally grab the stuff. The lion tamer says to the tight rope walker, “This tastes funny.”

Mac

September 20th, 2011
4:37 pm

Can you put it in your gas tank?

Ashton Kurcher (aka "The Elephant Man")

September 20th, 2011
5:03 pm

Right on Aunt Jemima. Everyone should be behind this practice. Nature makes very few mistakes and we are just speeding up her process. Not only would we preserve valuable land from being wasted as cemeteries, we eliminate the emissions from cremations and we can still have our loved ones bones saved in urns. Ha ha doesn’t that sound fun, did you watch 2 ½ men last night? Yes Aunt Jemima, it does makes perfect sense!

GatorGirl

September 20th, 2011
5:12 pm

Ewwwwww! Disgusting! Where would someone go to show their respects, the potty?

Bad Taste

September 20th, 2011
5:42 pm

Is this like an energy drink for vampires?

mr. tibbs

September 20th, 2011
6:33 pm

Wow Burial at sea… er…. toilet.. SALUTE

Old Geezer

September 20th, 2011
6:36 pm

Like Brita needed a reason to re-market their filters and charge more.

Frances

September 20th, 2011
6:37 pm

OMG our poor water is bad enough; what poor child or ppl who can’t afford purified water of somesort OMG this is sick,I already don’t drink tap water haven’t for years.

Jason

September 20th, 2011
6:52 pm

Ms Butterworth’s is PEOPLE!!!!!

Josephine Shaffer

September 20th, 2011
7:28 pm

That could be a good idea turn my body into syrup then hopefully i’ll taste good on pancakes, or even frenchtoast but in the sewer gross ewe.

chappy

September 20th, 2011
7:36 pm

KOH (potassium hydroxide) is noteworthy as the precursor to most soft and liquid soaps…

hum, soft soap. A purpose for your corpse.

remember Calvin and Hobbes the cartoon little boy with the stuffed tiger? Loved his icky face, picture mine now: bleech!

india

September 20th, 2011
7:53 pm

well you actually turn into a piece of SH__T! Jesus Christ…. what will they think of next…

Tricia

September 20th, 2011
8:56 pm

My Daughter said, NO she does not want to be gold fish!

Simone

September 20th, 2011
9:29 pm

This is something I want to know more about. Just don’t talk about flushing the chemical remains.

Log Cabin

September 20th, 2011
9:35 pm

Which of the following does not belong in the group? 1. Aunt Jemima 2. Mrs. Butttersworth 3. Uncle Ted 4. Karo

Mommabear

September 20th, 2011
10:07 pm

WAY too close to Soylent Green. =(

Tanya

September 20th, 2011
10:39 pm

This has got to be the most sickest thing I have ever heard. The fact that people are actually doing it is sicker. WHY ON EARTH WOULD U WANT TO FLUSH UR LOVED ONE DOWN THE TOILET? This is just sickening. The thought of them being burned up is disturbing enough. This is just sick!

Chris Q

September 20th, 2011
11:00 pm

Would the “syrup” work in a lava lamp? That way you can urn your keep after you are gone by working as a night light….

Mahna Mahna

September 20th, 2011
11:50 pm

You’re already ‘drinking’ people when they recycle water. Us women have period and most of the time there is a fertilized egg (some seem to think that’s a person) and other times it’s a miscarriage. It would be nice if my corpse could feed some wild animal as intended.

ep tor

September 21st, 2011
2:48 am

Could you make one of those lava lamps with that syrop? I might look kool on the mantle. Maybe the wife will finally get off by back – I’ll be doing something useful around the house.

Grimmie

September 21st, 2011
2:57 am

What gets me is all of the people being kind of shocked about “the syrup” going into the water system. Where do you think all of the blood goes when a person is embalmed?…down the drain my friends!!!

Me

September 21st, 2011
10:29 am

At a cannibals house it would be please pass the granpa he is really good on pancakes or waffles!

Imunique

September 21st, 2011
12:23 pm

With a bit of tweaking this is something you probably could do at home. I’m visualizing late-night TV commercials for the Time-Life Home Chemical Cremation Kit.

Darrell

September 21st, 2011
1:04 pm

If it keeps the mercury and other metals that accumulate in an American over a lifetime from going into the environment, sounds good to me. Let’s face it, when you’re done with it, it is no longer a temple. Burn it, melt it, bury it, or throw it in the ditch. Melting seems better than some of the options.

Bubba

September 29th, 2011
6:52 pm

How about a plain pine box in a country church yard?

Louis

September 30th, 2011
7:01 am

Maybe a few individuals wouldn’t mind being sent into the sewer after they go, but I doubt that most would find it very dignified. And pouring your late Aunt Rita over the petunias as liquid fertilizer doesn’t really sound much better.

PeopleAreIdiots

October 3rd, 2011
5:49 pm

“The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out…..” So people think this is disgusting as opposed to–what??? Are maggots and other decomposers that slowly feed on and liquefy your body in the ground more appealing? Do you like how cemeteries concentrate hundreds of buried bodies to decompose and leach into the water supply? What about the cremation process that boils and melts the flesh right off your body, burning bodies up a smoke stack–is that better? Do you like to breathe grandma? I am really disappointed in the author’s attempt to make the process sound so gruesome. It’s all pretty gross. Do people think there is a flusher on the unit that in any way resembles a toilet? And for those who think the material ends up directly in your potable drinking water….. do you drink your turds? And fertilizer chemicals? What about the untreated body fluids that go straight to the sewer, are you drinking those? Or do you think that perhaps materials sent to the wastewater TREATMENT plant are treated by physical, chemical, and biological means before being recycled to the environment? I see no environmental concerns with the process (only glowing benefits), and quite frankly I like having the choice. If it’s not for you, then choose another disposition option that better suits your wishes. (Am I the only one who had a good science curriculum in grade school?)

Homer

October 3rd, 2011
6:11 pm

mmmmmmm syrup……