Archive for June, 2011

“Every day is an opening day” may have been a bust, but Atlanta has a new maxim, thanks to Maxim magazine, proud purveyors of almost porn.

Atlanta, the epicenter of American sexy.

Atlanta is America’s No. 1 city for men to live in, according to those who keep abreast of such things.

How did Atlanta beat out Miami, Los Angeles, Newark and other party destinations?

Ironically, it’s Atlanta’s beautiful women that makes our clean and safe metropolis such a wonderful place for men.

Here’s how Maxim phrased it:

“Atlanta is the ultimate man city. Why? Well, mostly because of their girls score, which was through the freakin’ roof. And there are good job prospects [and] fun night­- life.”

Thanks ladies. I suggest Mayor Kasim Reed send a “Key to the City” to each and every Clermont dancer.

The NHL may not like Atlanta, but Maxim, which rated cities according to sports franchises, nightlife and regional hotness of its female denizens, certainly does.

As for the women, they’ve always …

Continue reading Maxim: Atlanta No. 1 city for men »

Canadians may have screwed up bacon, but at least two of them know how to riot after a painful loss to a U.S. hockey team.

A riot breaks out in Times Square on V-J Day.

Check out this picture of the tearful Vancouver couple on NPR.

If you look closely you can clearly see the pain they have suffered after the Boston Bruins whipped the Canucks 4-0 to win the Stanley Cup, which is like the Super Bowl for Canadians.

The photographer caught in the tumult thought he was taking a picture of injured riot victims.

“I’m not sure what exactly was going on,” Getty photographer Rich Lam confessed on the phone to NPR. “I just saw these two people and I thought they were hurt … I didn’t really know what I got until the editor pointed it out.”

If you get caught in a riot, you might as well make the most of it.

NOTE: Getty image of couple kissing during Vancouver riot removed due to copyright reasons. Instead, enjoy a similar picture of youthful exuberance from WW …

Continue reading Canadian riot enjoyed by some »

Global warming may mean beachfront property in Macon someday, but the Earth may have to go through a cold spell first.

Polar bears would have had plenty to eat if they'd made it to London during the late 1600s.

Fox Nation sums up the complicated science with this low-key headline: Global Warming Be Damned, We Might Be Headed for a Mini Ice Age

According to the pocket-protector crowd at the annual meeting of the solar physics division of the American Astronomical Society, the sun, due to reduced sunspot activity, is going to be a bit cooler soon.

When? Maybe as soon as 2021, or never.

How much cooler will the Earth get if sunspot activity decreases? No one knows exactly, but probably a fraction of a degree Celsius, which probably isn’t enough to lure another NHL franchise to Atlanta.

But, the last time such a thing happened, in the late 17th Century, the good folks of London were ice skating on the Thames and villages in the Swiss Alps were destroyed by expanding …

Continue reading Forget global warming, ‘Little Ice Age’ to begin in 10 years »

Peruvian prisons ain’t Alcatraz.

Unknown to Peruvian police, the bulletproof vest contains 392 Snicker bars.

Joran van der Sloot, the principal suspect in the disappearance of Alabama teen Natalee Holloway in Aruba, is rumored to have gotten his latest girlfriend pregnant while imprisoned in Lima.

The Dutchman is currently incarcerated at Castro Castro Jail while awaiting a murder trial for the death and robbery of Stephany Flores in June 2010.

His new girlfriend, who is not identified, allegedly worked at a casino frequented by Stephany Flores and visits van der Sloot’s cell to do “chores” and give him candy, which he uses to run a “lucrative” snack bar from his cell.

The victim’s father, Ricardo Flores, saw van der Sloot at a recent court hearing and said he expected to see a “miserable person.” Instead, he was shocked to see a ”fatso.”

Ricardo Flores has asked jail officials to investigate the conjugal visits.

Continue reading Report: Van der Sloot gets girlfriend pregnant in jail »

The Australians love to document their antics.

Eating the wrong end of food is not funny.

First, there was ‘planking,’ wherein the truly bored risk life and limb for an unusual Facebook photo.

Now, denizens of The Land Down Under are surprising fast-food workers by “cone-ing.”

According to an article by ABC News and many YouTube videos, the clearly misnamed art of cone-ing involves grabbing the non-cone end of a cold treat to get a reaction from minimum wage employees.

Some people find this behavior funny, says ABC:  Maddy Curotte, a follower of the Cone-ing Facebook page, wrote, “Oh my god, I have not laughed that hard at a YouTube video in a while. Brilliant!”

Maybe Maddy needs to get out more.

Fast-food workers have enough problems, like getting my order right. Why use them as unpaid props?

Continue reading ‘Cone-ing’ Internet craze a waste of good ice cream »

An author of alleged “children’s books” needs to wash his mouth out with soap and find a new airline after dropping the F-bomb aboard an Atlantic Southeast Airlines flight.

Unlike the rain in Spain, Sayegh could not remain on the plane.

The Detroit News reports Brooklyn author Robert Sayegh is thinking about suing the Delta Connection carrier.

According to the article, the 37-year-old, was flying from Kansas City to Newark when a flight attendant overheard him ask “What’s taking so [bleeping] long to close the overhead compartments?”

The plane taxied to the runway but returned to have Sayegh forcibly removed.

Sayegh told the Detroit paper he used the F-word twice.

“I’m like, ‘Are they throwing me off the plane? This is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever been through in my life. It’s embarrassing.”

Sayegh, who’s also a TV producer, said he is not “a crazy maniac” and that in New York “we curse as adjectives.”

Oh well, at least he didn’t drunkenly flirt his way into the …

Continue reading Airline passenger drops F-bomb, gets boot »

Even as a kid, I figured there had to be something wrong with any society that only had one female.

Yet another reason to make fun of France.

Now, a French academic who has studied the society and culture of Smurfs, the tiny blue cartoon characters who are constantly beset by the evil Gargamel, says they’ve got other problems.

They are fascists, or maybe commies. Or a little of both.

I’m not sure what that would make Gargamel. A capitalist?

In Le Nouvel Observateur, Antoine Buéno writes that he’s been surprised by the violent reaction to “Le Petit Livre Bleu” (The Little Blue Book), which blasts the cerulean society crafted by Belgian cartoonist Peyo.

Perhaps it’s because he wrote the Smurfs live in “a totalitarian utopia [akin to] Stalinism and Nazism”?

What’s Buéno’s proof?

The Worldcrunch website helps us out with an English translation.

The Smurfs are self-sufficient. Smurf society is collectivist and interventionist. Its only leader, Papa Smurf, is all-powerful. …

Continue reading French academic: Smurfs are Nazis »

Google’s hit another high note in their boundless search for frivolity.

Remember when the Google doodles actually spelled Google?

Today, the online giant’s “doodle” is a working musical instrument of sorts — an homage to guitar legend and inventor Les Paul — who was born on this date in 1915.

The electric guitar pioneer and inveterate tinkerer, who died in 2009, would be impressed. The oddly-shaped virtual instrument allows users to pluck strings and concoct tunes.

Turn it up to 11 to really annoy office co-workers.

Paul, one of the first to overdub musical tracks, would appreciate the “record” button, which provides a URL so you can send your composition to those who actually work at work or create a backing track for an epic solo.

Curiously, different Google sites have different versions of the doodle. The one at Google UK has a keyboard button, which makes it a bit easier to create tunes. The Godfather theme would go something like this: d h k j h k h j h f g d.

Check out …

Continue reading Google doodle honors guitar legend Les Paul »

How good is comedian Tina Fey’s impersonation of Republican Sarah Palin?

This just in, Tina Fey is not running for president.

Good enough to fool the former Alaska governor’s network of choice, according to media watchdog Mediaite.com.

Sunday, Fox aired a clip about Palin’s potential entry into the 2012 presidential race but used a picture of Fey from a Saturday Night Live skit.

Fox News released the following statement:  “This past Sunday during ‘America’s News Headquarters,’ a graphics error was made during a segment on former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin. The producer has since been disciplined and an explanation and apology will be made in the same hour next Sunday. Fox News regrets the error.”

TheWeek.com lists the goof as its best video of the week.

Heads may roll if something similar happens again, Mediaite reports.

A Fox News memo states: “Effective immediately, there is zero tolerance for on-screen errors. Mistakes by any member of the show team that end up …

Continue reading Fox News uses picture of Tina Fey in Sarah Palin story »

UPDATE: Never trust a tattoo artist, especially a good-looking one. The tattoo video turned out to be an advertising stunt.

A Dutch publication has the details, but to make a short story even shorter, the “artist” says  ”It is a try out tattoo, a transfer, that washes off in a couple of days. It took a couple of hours to apply the transfer not the 30 hours the video claimed to produce the real tattoo.”

Here’s the original story, all of 24 hours old …

The unholy alchemy of Facebook and tattoos has produced unfortunate results in the past, such as when rapper T-Pain got a “like” button permanently etched into his skin, but there’s a video popping up on Ye Olde Internets that, for the sake of humanity, I hope is fake.

Why don't tattoo artists look like this in Atlanta?

In the video, a woman claims to be getting a tattoo of her 152 Facebook friends’ faces on her arm.

There’s no accompanying article to verify who this person is or where she lives, but the YouTube video was posted …

Continue reading Video of woman getting tattoo of 152 Facebook friends a hoax »