Earthlings: 50 years in space without sex

50 years ago this month, Russia shot the first man into space.

Since Yuri Gagarin traveled solo, we can’t blame him for not hooking up.

But, in the 50 years since, Earthlings appear to have never carnally enjoyed each other’s company while orbiting the Earth. This, despite the fact Russia sent the first woman — Valentina Tereshkova – into orbit in 1963.

He didn't have sex in space, but the first human to return safely to Earth got quite a hug from Fidel Castro.

It seems unbelievable, but Russia today rejected the notion that a cosmonaut ever participated in secret sexual experiments.

“There is no official or unofficial evidence that there were instances of sexual intercourse or the carrying out of sexual experiments in space,” Valery Bogomolov, the deputy director of the Moscow-based Institute of Biomedical Problems, told Interfax news agency. “At least, in the history of Russian or Soviet space exploration, this most certainly was not the case.”

“As for American space exploration, well, I just don’t have the information to categorically deny that,” said Bogomolov. “There are just anecdotal rumors, which are not worth trusting.”

According to hasty web research, no American astronauts have entered the 250,000 mile club.

The best I can tell, the U.S. never sent mixed-gender crews to Skylab (1973-1974), but Russia’s Mir housed several women during its 15-year working life.

There’s been plenty of opportunity aboard the International Space Station, but there’s a ban on sex there.

“We are a group of professionals,” said Alan Poindexter, a NASA commander in 2010 when asked about the consequences if astronauts boldly went where no others have been.

“We treat each other with respect and we have a great working relationship. Personal relationships are not … an issue,” said a serious-faced Mr Poindexter. “We don’t have them and we won’t.”

Captain Kirk, we need you.