Earthlings: 50 years in space without sex

50 years ago this month, Russia shot the first man into space.

Since Yuri Gagarin traveled solo, we can’t blame him for not hooking up.

But, in the 50 years since, Earthlings appear to have never carnally enjoyed each other’s company while orbiting the Earth. This, despite the fact Russia sent the first woman — Valentina Tereshkova – into orbit in 1963.

The first human to return safely to Earth was given a manly hug by Fidel Castro.

He didn't have sex in space, but the first human to return safely to Earth got quite a hug from Fidel Castro.

It seems unbelievable, but Russia today rejected the notion that a cosmonaut ever participated in secret sexual experiments.

“There is no official or unofficial evidence that there were instances of sexual intercourse or the carrying out of sexual experiments in space,” Valery Bogomolov, the deputy director of the Moscow-based Institute of Biomedical Problems, told Interfax news agency. “At least, in the history of Russian or Soviet space exploration, this most certainly was not the case.”

“As for American space exploration, well, I just don’t have the information to categorically deny that,” said Bogomolov. “There are just anecdotal rumors, which are not worth trusting.”

According to hasty web research, no American astronauts have entered the 250,000 mile club.

The best I can tell, the U.S. never sent mixed-gender crews to Skylab (1973-1974), but Russia’s Mir housed several women during its 15-year working life.

There’s been plenty of opportunity aboard the International Space Station, but there’s a ban on sex there.

“We are a group of professionals,” said Alan Poindexter, a NASA commander in 2010 when asked about the consequences if astronauts boldly went where no others have been.

“We treat each other with respect and we have a great working relationship. Personal relationships are not … an issue,” said a serious-faced Mr Poindexter. “We don’t have them and we won’t.”

Captain Kirk, we need you.

32 comments Add your comment

chevy

April 22nd, 2011
2:42 pm

Hust shows the old saying is valid….what goes on in space stays in space……what mile high club would that be?

Old Geezer

April 22nd, 2011
5:16 pm

personal respect kills the romance every time.

Jon Lester

April 23rd, 2011
4:23 am

I think someone will be spending this weekend adding new words to the comment filter.

Brother Bill

April 23rd, 2011
5:17 am

Marijuana possession is banned in US. Speeding on interstates is prohibited. Sex is banned in space.
Therefore, no one possesses marijuana in US, no does anyone ever speed on interstates. Similarly, no one has hooked up in space.

Observer

April 23rd, 2011
7:11 am

I’ll betcha that there are at least two people who belong to the ‘orbital’ club!! Those guys are hot shots already by nature of being an astronaut. You would definitely want to add that as ‘feather’ in your cap, er, space helmet.

No Sex?

April 23rd, 2011
8:51 am

Who CARES if they had sex or not? Don’t we have more important things to worry about? Let’s have another illegal immigrant blog.

Moniqua

April 23rd, 2011
9:02 am

You know if we send two male V-103 Listeners & Obama Supporters into space, you better believed they will be joining the “ORBITAL ON THE DOWN CLUB.”

That’s right.

jw

April 23rd, 2011
9:02 am

Did you expect anything different from someone named Poindexter? LOL!

Dawgaholic30286

April 23rd, 2011
9:14 am

Would “Gay” sex count?

MrLiberty

April 23rd, 2011
9:15 am

NASA has been screwing the american people since its formation. Several trillion dollars and several hundred million productive, hardworking taxpayers easily makes up for nothing going on in their overpriced floating pieces of space debris.

Harrison Dangler

April 23rd, 2011
9:17 am

How do you think Buzz Aldren got his nickname?

Gillda

April 23rd, 2011
9:18 am

There’s really no need for a “ban” at all. Sex between humans in a weightless environment would be so difficult and require so much time and work to obtain the neurological state required that nobody may ever want to have sex in space. In fact, the culmination of sex may be impossible in space.

AmVet

April 23rd, 2011
9:30 am

That 9:15 was obviously posted by an idiot and Luddite who is still living in the 1950s.

Thank gawd NASA never used people like him, or we’d never have gotten off of the ground.

?

April 23rd, 2011
9:44 am

PETER GRIFFEN pulled one off in space and said it was kind of like living in a snow globe

Chuck

April 23rd, 2011
9:57 am

I, for one, would: (a) like to believe we’ve had sex in space and (b) rather not hear about it, especially not tabloid-style.

brad

April 23rd, 2011
10:11 am

Hey, AmVet…space travel is not specifically authorized in the constitution, so our 9:15 friend MUST be right. Far right.

quinc

April 23rd, 2011
10:31 am

The mention of the Constitution brings up interesting points. Neither the Bible or the Constitution allow for space travel. So I suspect that, being in a fundemantally lawless and unrecognized environment, One could gamble and screw as much as they want. Perhaps Congress should make some regulations on it.

KevinM

April 23rd, 2011
11:51 am

So that pay-for movie wasn’t really from a real space station?

Name (required)

April 23rd, 2011
12:20 pm

We don’t need to test sex in space. We have enough teabagging going on on the Earth.

chastity belt

April 23rd, 2011
12:29 pm

So you’re saying that Van Allen is not so much a radiation belt as it is a chastity belt?

score!

Van Allen chastity belt

April 23rd, 2011
12:30 pm

F. Gordon

April 23rd, 2011
1:26 pm

The tricky part, considering the confines of a space capsule, would be the after-sex cigarette.

Calvin G. Sims, Sr.

April 23rd, 2011
2:37 pm

Of course no astronaut will admit there is sex in space. If they dd, their wives would not let then go.

Buzz Lightyear

April 23rd, 2011
3:22 pm

I am an astronaut and I have had sex in space and it wasn’t me that had the Woody. Case closed.

Christa McAuliffe

April 23rd, 2011
3:24 pm

I know I got screwed though

Ross

April 23rd, 2011
3:42 pm

There’s no sex in MySpace either, dammit.

The Gecko

April 23rd, 2011
3:50 pm

It happens every trip but it’s called docking. :-)

Ross

April 23rd, 2011
3:57 pm

Land my eagle, Charlie Brown

pertymouth

April 23rd, 2011
5:14 pm

Um, there are eight millions possible jokes here, including moonshot, Come in Houston, main orbital thruster, manual robot arm, re-entry, etc. etc.

CHARLEY60

April 25th, 2011
4:13 pm

Now that is a new side effect. Go to space loose your sex. They sure will be a bore, to there spouse, when they return. Also a stand out, in the locker room, at the gym

Tina

April 26th, 2011
6:48 pm

oh, come now. You best believe somebody tapped dat a@@ in space.

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