Squirrels nuts for Kate Middleton’s new coat of arms

The media coverage of the upcoming royal wedding is a little nuts, which may explain why Kate Middleton’s spanking new coat of arms features three acorns.

That, or it was designed by squirrels.

Kate Middleton's family allegedly agreed to this.

Squirrel approved.

Reports indicate “an insignia is a prerequisite for those marrying into the Royal Family.”

I assume love is a prerequisite as well, but I didn’t see that reported anywhere today.

Middleton, 29, will marry Prince William April 29 at Westminster Abbey.

The daughter of flight attendants, Kate’s clearly helping the family reach new heights.

The official wedding web site says the images of important wildlife food “represent Mr. and Mrs. Middleton’s three children.”

“Acorns were chosen because the area in which the children were brought up – West Berkshire, England – is surrounded by oak trees. Additionally, oak is a long-established symbol of both ‘England’ and ‘Strength.’”

There’s more: “The gold chevron, which sits at the centre of the design, represents Mrs. Middleton, whose maiden name is Goldsmith. The two thinner chevrons, which sit either side of the gold chevron, allude to hills and mountains and represent outdoor pursuits that the family enjoy together. The colours blue and red were chosen as they are the principle colours from the flag of the United Kingdom.”

“Miss Middleton’s Coat of Arms has been presented in the form of a ‘lozenge’ and is shown suspended from a ribbon, which indicates that she is an unmarried daughter.”

As a lad, I often designed my own coat of arms, but my heraldic shield generally featured dirt bikes, shotguns and unicorns. Not what I’d choose today, but I’d take it over acorns.

19 comments Add your comment

Wheel Barrow

April 19th, 2011
6:56 pm

Each element of the coat of arms has special meaning to the Middleton’s…and that is what is important.


April 19th, 2011
8:18 pm

They said she is not a virgin. What do you expect?


April 19th, 2011
9:01 pm

She isn’t? Are they saying it was Wills who prematurely unsheathed his saber?!

pot meet kettle

April 19th, 2011
10:19 pm

Would you expect the Prince of Wales to marry a 29 year old virgin???

pot meet kettle

April 19th, 2011
10:20 pm

or prince of whatever he is


April 19th, 2011
10:26 pm

Do only idiots respond to these articles? Evidently. You’re not funny , illuminating or enlightening. Give the rest of us a break and STFU unless you have something sensible to add.


April 19th, 2011
10:32 pm

Yes, wheel barrow: STFU

Mountain Man

April 19th, 2011
11:21 pm

Historically, both acorns and pineapples, especially on top of bed posts, are a symbol of fertility. Wonder just how fertile Kate is/was on her wedding day? ‘Let them eat wedding cake!’

Royal and Ancient

April 20th, 2011
1:33 am

One of those acorns should be on fire because Kate is a sure fire HOTTIE.

The Ignorant Always Come Out

April 20th, 2011
4:33 am

What business is it of anyone’s whether she is a virgin or not? That is between her and her husband and is no one else’s business. As for me, I wish them a lifetime of happiness.


April 20th, 2011
4:43 am

Okay, you can have a coat of arms with dirt bikes and shotguns, Bubba. Sounds like you’re jealous and have nothing important to write about.


April 20th, 2011
6:14 am

Excellent old school design. Fertility and commitment, with a first chevron. Reminds me of my first chevron (V-stripe) in the military. Best wishes to her and her family’s future.


April 20th, 2011
8:11 am

Really? Unicorns? Well, I guess they can stab with the horn…..


April 20th, 2011
8:17 am

What a childish, snarky jab at this couple about to be married. Mr. Mathis, your class envy is showing.

You're an Idiot

April 20th, 2011
9:20 am

Methinks that Mr. Mathis is not making “a childish, snarky jab at this couple”, but is instead pointing out the sheer stupidity that Kate Middleton’s Coat of Arms is considered news. But, then again, tards like yourself would rather read mindless drivel and watch ‘reality’ t.v. than educate yourselves on real world news.


April 20th, 2011
9:49 am

And nothing about her father’s side?

Snozz Wanger

April 20th, 2011
11:15 am

“I assume love is a prerequisite as well, but I didn’t see that reported anywhere today.” Try in nauseating detail everywhere but here.
You must be blind AND dumb, George.

Where are the editors?

April 20th, 2011
3:39 pm

Should we assume you mean “principal” rather than “prinicple” in paragraph nine?

Candance Effner

November 15th, 2011
6:19 pm

i would need to make a lot more christmas cards becuase next month is december already-