Police (Off)Beat | Dancing with the demented

  • A less-than-private dancer performing in the middle of North Avenue caused multiple accidents, according to Atlanta police. She refused to stop after being yelled at by passing motorists and police. She told the arresting officer she was a member of the CIA and the president was “having relations with her husband.”handcuffs
  • A woman who refused to pay a taxi driver for a $30 ride home from the Cobb County jail was jailed again.
  • A postal worker driving without her lights on admitted to “drinking brandy” on the job and was cited for DUI. Her personal vehicle and “material belonging to the Post Office” was seized by Atlanta police.
  • An Alpharetta man told police multiple pieces of furniture were stolen from his home while he was out of town. His neighbor’s said a moving truck was spotted in his driveway. The man blames his ex-wife and her family.
  • A woman who claimed to be “too fat” to wear a seatbelt was arrested for theft due to an outstanding Roswell warrant.
  • An Atlanta mother got into a belt versus fist fight with her teen son after he refused to put away leftovers like she repeatedly suggested.
  • A Sandy Springs mother told police her ex-husband took a 40-inch TV from her home after her son left the door unlocked.
  • A Powder Springs woman reported an unknown man taking an unknown item from the garage of her unknown neighbor.
  • An Old Stilesboro Road homeowner in north Cobb listed her residence for sale and within hours someone removed her plants, landscaping lights, statuary and wind chimes.
  • A Roswell Road homeowner wielding a broomstick visibly injured a man trying to crawl into her open kitchen window.
  • A man reported his “paid off” 1987 Chevy Caprice was stolen from his driveway. He’d left the doors unlocked, he said, and had just put a bumper sticker on it that said “My pitbull is smarter than your honor student.”
  • Atlanta police responded to a fight between roommates in a Holmes Drive home. One man was found bleeding from a cut in the middle of his forehead, apparently caused by a hurled can of fruit cocktail. Police found the suspect sitting on the edge of his bed. When confronted, he began hitting himself in the head with a metal pipe and screaming “Take me to jail or I am going to kill Kevin.” The argument began when Kevin refused to relinquish a kitchen chair, police wrote.
  • A woman told Sandy Springs police a man she was “riding around with” said she was “too good for him” and pushed her to the ground and began pouring soda on her.
  • A Mildred Place apartment dweller reported his friendly pit bull was stolen by thieves who kicked in his back door while he was away. Also taken was a Wii, Sony PlayStation 3, multiple Nintendo DS’s, several games and a large LCD  TV. A neighbor told Atlanta police a chunky boy she’d never seen before came to her door and asked her to “hold his flatscreen” for a while. She refused.
  • A man wearing a Walmart uniform is angering the waitresses at a Cobb Parkway Waffle House. According to them, he’s ordered the same meal and left without paying multiple times.
  • Someone stole the tailgate from a 2004 Ford F150 parked at a Peachtree Street parking deck. Maybe it was the same guy who stole the bleachers from Center Hill Park?
  • A “baby’s mother” scratched a man’s car with her keys after leaving his George Busbee Parkway apartment, according to a Cobb police report.
  • A hungry man caught shoplifting at a Delk Road Publix was given a verbal warning for attempting to abscond with a bag of frozen popcorn chicken and jug of Powerade.

7 comments Add your comment

Old Geezer

April 14th, 2011
4:50 pm

people wearing walmart uniforms piss off everyone, it’s part of their job description, even when not at work they have a duty to represent walmart’s history of hiring complete idiots and a-holes.


April 15th, 2011
10:22 pm

What a jerk writer. To bad Mr Mathis can’t do something original. News of the Weird, has been around for years, and the Creative Loafing has done a local version of it at for at least 15 years.
The AJC can only hire from the very bottom of the barrel. It’s like the place bad writers go to die, and decent writers use to scare their children when they struggle at school.


April 16th, 2011
12:01 pm

I love hearing reports of the things stupid people do WHERE I LIVE. The Creative Loafing wouldn’t be around if it wasn’t for the AJC.


April 16th, 2011
12:44 pm

Thanks for the support Fred! Police blotters have appeared in newspapers (including the AJC) since before I was born. I didn’t claim to invent the idea.


April 16th, 2011
4:10 pm

Very entertaining – Fred’s upset because he’s the one who tried to crawl through the window in Roswell…

Con Man

April 16th, 2011
8:33 pm

No, Fredzz the owner of the pitbull that is smarter than the honor student. He’s upset his dream car was stolen.


April 17th, 2011
8:25 am

“Take me to jail or I am going to kill Kevin.”

Maybe the most awesome thing I’ve read all day…admittedly it’s only 8:30a….