Police (Off)Beat | Love and lack of money

  • A woman demanded an Atlanta man loan her some money. He refused so she whipped out a Taser and began trying to shock some sense into him. Using ninja moves, he avoided harm and even managed to knock the Taser from her hand. He called police and was arrested for an outstanding warrant. Unlike the Taser, she was not charged.

    Tasers proven ineffective at extracting cash from ninjas.

    Tasers proven ineffective at extracting cash from ninjas.

  • Another young lady smashed the windows out of a man’s vehicle after he refused to pay her rent. The irate woman’s arrival at the Delmar Lane residence was heralded by text messages that read “im bout to [expletive] ur truck up … call police,” “im not going to jail [expletive] not going pay for it im set that [expletive] on fire …” and the equally inaccurately typed “WAT GOES AROUND CUMS AROUND.”
  • Feelings of inadequacy: A man stormed a Roswell Road sex shop, grabbed a $17 “Power Pump Surge” penis enhancer and fled to the nearby Colonial Grand Apartments.
  • A criminal kicked in the door of a Peyton Road residence and stole a flatscreen television that, according to the homeowner, had been struck by lightning and no longer worked.
  • An older Athens gentleman must have thought it was his lucky day when a young lady tapped on his bedroom window at 1 a.m. He felt less lucky after opening his front door and being “wrestled around” and “overpowered.” She stole his pants, which contained his keys, wallet, pocket knife and pocket change.
  • A woman called Atlanta police after a man entered her home and asked for sex. The man got upset and pushed her when she said no, but left before police arrived. Police arrested the man next door at his brother’s apartment.
  • Four women got into a tussle in Underground Atlanta, the two that lost the fight got a ride to Grady Memorial Hospital, the two that won got a ride to the Fulton County jail.
  • Vulture sighting: A Sandy Springs man reported the theft of his recently deceased father’s Hummer. Investigators determined the girlfriend of the father filed an affidavit claiming the man had no heirs and changed the name on the title to be hers.
  • A man wielding a butter knife told his North Avenue neighbor he would “get him” for making an unkind comment about his dead mother.
  • A customer smelling of beer was asked to leave a Peachtree Street café, and did so once police arrived. But he later returned and told the manager he was going to “kick his [rear].” The suspect, arrested for disorderly conduct, said he returned to the restaurant because “crackers don”t tell me what to do.”
  • A Lawrenceville landlord told police an evicted tenant took all the home’s appliances with her when she forcibly departed.
  • The long goodbye: A Stone Mountain woman let police listen to dozens of threatening messages from an ex-boyfriend who refused to “lose her number.” The man allegedly stalked her at an Atlanta Hawks game and had been texting her every few minutes to tell her he was going to force her to “deal with the situation.”

7 comments Add your comment


April 7th, 2011
3:22 pm

good thing the cops wern’t crackers

Old Geezer

April 7th, 2011
4:06 pm

“crackers don”t tell me what to do” is going to be my new response to questions and requests.

Kevin Montgomery Auburn Washington

April 8th, 2011
4:04 pm

WOW some people are really strange. Dont people get embareassed anymore

Say it again?

April 9th, 2011
2:41 pm

The first “story” exemplifies the stupidity of most cops these days. She should have been charged with a few things.

Right On Time

April 10th, 2011
6:50 pm

I really needed a good laugh!


April 15th, 2011
7:40 am


April 16th, 2011
10:29 am

I was kinda wondering why the lady in the first story wasn’t charged with anything?? things that make you go……. hmmmm