Police (Off)Beat | Cigarettes can cause incarceration

  • New warning label: “Smoking may be hazardous to your criminal career.” In Cherokee County, a smoker left a pack of cigarettes at a burglarized business. Prints on the package led to the arrest of a 21-year-old Ellijay man.
  • Perhaps credit cards should come with warning labels too. Police were able to look at surveillance video in a Gwinnett County Chick-fil-A to determine which customer made off with another customer’s Apple laptop. The bad guy’s receipt is blazing a digital trail for investigators.

    Don't get "busy" here and forget your cellphone.

    Don't get "busy" here and forget your cellphone.

  • If you’re a cab driver, be warned: Atlanta police are on fashion patrol. On Piedmont Road, a taxi driver was ticketed for not tucking in his shirt.
  • An Atlanta police officer is suffering through his neighbor’s “psychotic episodes.” She allegedly bangs on their common condo wall with a rubber mallet at all hours. Another police officer visited the woman and warned her to cool out, but instead of using a mallet, she now stomps on the floors and slams doors as loudly as possible.
  • A man told police his smartphone was stolen from where he left it atop a urinal at a Kennesaw bar. He told police he got “busy” in the bathroom and forgot about leaving the phone behind. Police used the phone’s GPS to track it to the “second trailer by the pool” at Castle Lake Mobile Home Park.
  • A 26-year-old Decatur man plotting a impromptu vacation misunderstood the “Smoking Area” sign at the downtown Atlanta Greyhound Station. He was arrested after lighting a joint.
  • A woman attempting to enter federal offices in downtown Atlanta told the security officer running the X-ray scanner that the mysterious object in her purse was “only a bag of weed,” but she went to jail anyway.
  • Someone with 200 Xanax and Oxycodone pills had the courage to report the robbery of their rolling (and unlocked) pharmacy to Cobb County police.
  • An iPad and a roll of toilet paper was stolen from Century Crest Apartments near Kennesaw.
  • A 56-year-old woman (who is 7-months pregnant) told police she did not use a gun to run off a woman selling “pills and food stamps” in front of her south Moreland Avenue-area home.
  • A Jonesboro Road man reported his “baby momma” hit him in the head with a brick, which sounds bad until you learn she had a knife in her other hand.
  • A female employee of the 5 Guys burger shop on Northside Drive became irate when confronted with allegations of theft. Among the items she destroyed was a large ketchup dispenser and a glass 5-gallon pickle jar. The restaurant had to be closed for cleanup. She was last seen spitting on her former boss and walking down 10th Street.
  • A gaggle of women who brought their own drinks was asked to leave Blake’s on the Park. One of the women, when asked to leave, told an off-duty Atlanta police officer to “suck a [bleep],” which generally leads to trouble. The officer was verbally assaulted by a “very aggressive group of females” but managed to pry the most foul-mouthed one off the patio railing and handcuff her.
  • Solar power may be taking off near Wilwat Drive in Norcross, where several vehicles were denuded of their 12-volt batteries.

11 comments Add your comment


March 31st, 2011
1:19 pm

Every woman who reads this is going to be taking a Lysol wipe to their boyfriend and/or husband’s phone at some point today. Do you men really leave your phones on urinals? We already know few of you think about washing your hands, and then you hold that cell phone up to your faces and mouths?! Y’all are so disgusting.

Rodney Ho

March 31st, 2011
4:42 pm

You want to meet up for a beer later? I’d like to show you a few pointers about writing. You buy, and I’ll share my expertise.


March 31st, 2011
9:49 pm

“On Piedmont Road, a taxi driver was ticketed for not tucking in his shirt.”

Maybe the cops could also ticket them for not bathing.


April 2nd, 2011
12:12 pm

Well Betty Lou, I surmise you put more disgusting things near your face and mouth than cell phones left atop urinals……what are you doing later?

Athens Blight

April 2nd, 2011
1:38 pm

Most of the guilty dummies were University of Georgia alumni and fans. They’re really that stupid. Really.

Jimmy Gregory

April 2nd, 2011
4:15 pm

Urinals get cleaned often and besides; no one pee’s on the top of one, betty lou.


April 3rd, 2011
6:36 pm

Having been responsible for cleaning restrooms once, I can tell you not only do men pee on and around urinals, they also vomit and crap wherever they want in bathrooms. And this was a clean respectable place in Kennesaw, GA. For some reason men think the pinnacle of humor is achieved if their butt is involved somehow. Say the word “fart” around a man and they will laugh. Men are disgusting when it comes to the bathroom. Which is why if given the chance, a woman will not share a bathroom with a guy and if she is forced (say their house only has one bathroom), it will not be a pleasant experience for the man.

Old School

April 6th, 2011
9:54 am

A very loud verbal shouting match broke out in the Subway restaurant in the Edgeway Shopping Center yesterday. The two female employees evidently thought that yelling at each other, dropping F-bombs and other “colorful” words was an appropriate activity to engage in while customers were present. Well, I did not agree and chose to express my desire (in loud but acceptable language) for them to stop it immediately as my 5 year old grandson was present along with me, my husband, and daughter. We will not be eating there again. . . ever as my words had no effect on them at all.

Old School

April 6th, 2011
10:00 am

The address of that particular Subway is 1221 Caroline St
Suite G110 Edgewood Retail Dis

Taffy Caffy

April 6th, 2011
4:44 pm

And cops cause contempt and disgust.

Bob Burger

April 6th, 2011
7:25 pm

So, whats so bad with smokinn’ a doob at this bus stop? Did he try to get any kids to puff? I did the same at a bus stop just north of San Fran., and all I got was, “Smells pretty good!’