Sammy Hagar abducted by aliens

If a celebrity hasn’t been newsworthy in years, they really turn up the ol’ nuttymeter when they release a memoir.

Sammy Hagar parachutes to Earth after rocking out with some little green men.

Former Van Halen frontman Sammy Hagar is doing just that, telling MTV he was abducted by aliens.

Unfortunately for those born with ears, they didn’t grab him before the release of “I Can’t Drive 55.”

The book, “Red: My Uncensored Life in Rock,” contains a passage about a “dream” that Hagar now says was real.

“I saw a ship and two creatures inside of this ship… And they were connected to me, tapped into my mind through some kind of mysterious wireless connection,” wrote Hagar.

In the interview he tells the curious reporter “It was real. [Aliens] were plugged into me. It was a download situation. This was long before computers or any kind of wireless. There weren’t even wireless telephones. Looking back now, it was like, ‘[Bleep], they downloaded something into me!’ Or they uploaded something from my brain, like an experiment. ‘See what this guy knows.’”

Maybe they downloaded enough info to learn he’s bat-bleep crazy.

It was not his first experience with aliens.

“Another thing happened when I was about four that I didn’t put into the book. One time I saw what I considered to be, well, at the time I thought it was a car with no wheels. We lived out in the country and I saw this thing floating across a field, creating this big dust storm. I threw rocks at it. And I don’t know what happened after that.”

Hagar also said, while performing, he would pick “strong” females out of the crowd to have sex with.

“Van Halen was a good-looking band,” said Hagar, who hopefully will see an ophthalmologist soon.

Hagar is no stranger to the weird. On Celebrity Ghost Stories, while wearing a Cabo Wabo tequila T-shirt, Hagar said he was visited by the ghost of his father, who was drunk, allegedly not on Cabo Wabo because this was decades before Sammy stewed up his first batch.

Hagar later learned his father died that night.

I find his ghost story a bit more believable, lots of people were seeing visions in Haight-Ashbury in 1969.