Police (Off)Beat | The case of the stolen beer cases

  • A Cobb man who ran from a Shell Gas Station with a case of Miller Lite and Natural Light apologized to police once they tracked him to his home. He should apologize — for his bad taste in beer.

    Local beer enthusiast Ben Eaton says "You gotta be nuts to drink and drive."

    Local beer enthusiast Ben Eaton says "You gotta be nuts to drink and drive."

  • On Johnson Ferry Road, another beer thief was confronted by a Kroger clerk who noticed the thirsty man had replaced the bottles in his six-pack of IBC Cream Soda with Newcastle Brown Ale. He fled with the beer.
  • An Alpharetta police officer found a man slumped over his steering wheel on Windward Parkway. The man’s truck started rolling when he took his foot off the brake. He said he had been drinking “a lot” and could only recite the alphabet by singing, and even then he skipped several letters. He blew a life-threatening 0.244 when tested.
  • Someone can’t get enough kibble and bits. Dalton police report $398 of dog food has been stolen from a store.
  • A Lithonia man was high enough to tell a police officer he had “just a little crack” on him when questioned.
  • Life is cruel on Justice Lane in Cobb County, where residents of a home think their daughter’s school rival is, under cover of darkness, hurling eggs and stuffing their mailbox with feces.
  • A woman who took off her wedding ring to sample hand lotion at Victoria’s Secret in Marietta was relieved of her jewelry, but not her husband.
  • A 46-year-old Lithonia woman was dragged away by police after entering her ex-boyfriend’s Atlanta home without his knowledge, police said, and observing him entertaining a new lady friend in their old bedroom. She went ballistic, smashing several items, including some burning candles, which nearly started a fire.
  • An Atlanta woman called police after her husband kept making videos of her walking in the front door. The man told police he was making videos to show his divorce attorney how late his wife was coming home each night.
  • Seven Cobb Community Transit customers using the Park and Ride lots on Busbee Drive have cars without catalytic converters thanks to mechanically-inclined hoodlums.
  • A 16-year-old girl who chased a man around the kitchen table in Ellenwood was arrested as an adult on terroristic threat charges, but the DeKalb jail would not take her due to her age. Neither would juvenile detention because at midnight she turned 17. So, he waited until morning and drove her to Magistrate court for her first appearance.
  • A presumed customer asked the Chevron store clerk on Ponce de Leon in Scottdale to make a fresh pot of coffee. As soon as the clerk walked over to the coffee pots, the customer transformed into a bandit, jumping behind the counter and helping himself to some cash. After a brief scrum he fled with $1,500, which can buy a lot of caffeine.
  • A 2008 Chevy Silverado found a new owner after the old owner left the door unlocked and the key under the mat.
  • The owner of a Bimbo Bakeries location in DeKalb County said a woman in her employ made off with an estimated $3,000 in baked goods.
  • An Atlanta woman who used to let a homeless man sleep in her house reported her car stolen. She said her daughter left the front door unlocked and someone crept into the house and knew where to find the car key, which was removed from a key chain. The suspect’s new home and ride is a 1998 Toyota Corolla.
  • Two women at a Waffle House on Covington Highway began yelling loudly at a man who “disrespected” them. A DeKalb police officer asked them to pipe down, but they wouldn’t. He told the waitress to bring them their check. They paid and left the building, but continued to holler and make a scene in the parking lot. They were arrested for disorderly conduct.
  • A woman left the keys in a borrowed Cadillac while visiting a Decatur business on Glenwood Drive. When she came back, she had some explaining to do to her 36-year-old male friend who owns the car.

3 comments Add your comment

[...] ** Read more dumb crimes. [...]


March 19th, 2011
1:03 pm

How do you steal $3000 worth of baked goods? Does that place sell gold-plated popovers?


March 19th, 2011
4:25 pm

Anyone convicted of the stipidity noted above should be sterilized. The world really does not need these idiots breeding.