Police (Off)Beat | Key thieves locked up

  • A postal worker walking on Cheshire Bridge Road told an Atlanta police officer two men took his mail truck keys and refused to give them back unless he paid them $20. The police officer found the men, who smelled “strongly of alcohol” and were “slurring their speech.” The cop asked the drunks to return the keys, but they denied having them until threatened with jail time. The keys were hidden behind a Dumpster.

    Appointed rounds delayed due to key theft.

    "Neither snow nor rain nor theft of keys stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds."

  • Dalton police say someone using an ID and bank card stolen from a “drunk man” withdrew $850 from the victim’s bank and used the cash to drive to Hamilton County, Tennessee. There, police say, he met a woman using his newfound alias and stole her car, which was found in Florida. While there, the man got a “Grim Reaper” tattoo with stolen cash, police said.
  • Atlanta police arrested a woman who asked an Edgewood Avenue motorist for change. She had in her possession “five pennies,” the arresting officer wrote.
  • Police beat ambulances to the panhandler stupid enough to beg for change from moving cars on the I-285 to I-20 interchange.
  • An Alpharetta man is charged with cutting the power to a building and stealing a Georgia Power meter. Conveniently for investigators, he left his cell phone behind.
  • A Sandy Springs resident asked police to remove a woman from her apartment that would not quit singing, preventing sleep. Police said they could not evict the woman, because singing, even badly, is not a crime. The singer, wearing headphones, began crooning loudly as the police explained the situation to the complainant. Since she would not stop when asked, she was arrested.
  • A woman told Sandy Springs police she suspected her ex-husband of stealing a safe from her Mountain Brook Way home. She said she had been to his house and saw the safe in his garage and it had been forced open. The ex-husband told police he was merely looking after her valuables while she was out of town.
  • Another Springs woman who let her ex-boyfriend stay at her apartment because she “felt sorry for him” reported the theft of $2,000.
  • A man in “deplorable condition” and emitting a “strong smell” was asked to leave a Memorial Drive restaurant because he was causing “discomfort among customers consuming food.” Police called to the scene said the man admitted to injuring his eye by accidentally jabbing a burning cigarette into it.
  • An Atlanta man said he suspects his neighbor killed his dog and a few days later placed a large stuffed animal on his driveway to remind him of it.
  • A man desperate for a quality toke invaded the Discount Smoke Shop in Powder Springs and liberated a hookah.
  • The man who stole a pizza from a Dominos driver last week was arrested in his Cobb County home. Police found several pizza boxes and a warming bag.
  • A disgruntled employee of Evolution Energy in Marietta tried to burn the place down, but left his wedding ring and car keys outside the building. The key chain had an Auto Zone Rewards card attached to it, which led police to the firebug now charged with felony arson.
  • A gunman robbed a shoe store in Austell. The cashier struggled to open the register, so the gunman fled with a bank bag from the counter. The bank bag contained no money, police said.
  • The owner of a locker at the Gold Gym on George Busbee Parkway told police he has a lock but does not use it, which explains the missing wallet and iPhone.
  • A Mazda driver pulled over on Peachtree Street told Atlanta police he did not have his driver’s license on him, but said his name was Quantavious Stephens. The officer ran a license check, but there is, strangely enough, no licensed driver with that name in Georgia. The man then said his name was Deuntae Robinson. That named worked, but the photo looked nothing like the man police pulled over. So, the driver finally gave his real name, admitted he had no license and said he lied because he knew there was an outstanding warrant for his arrest.

6 comments Add your comment

Ted Striker

March 11th, 2011
1:42 am

I love this stuff. Your column is quickly becoming one of my favorites.

George

March 11th, 2011
11:03 am

Thank you sir! Let’s hope the boss-folk like it too.

vicki

March 15th, 2011
2:47 pm

Very funny!! Thanks for the laughs!!

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March 23rd, 2011
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