Guys please be kind. Beth has really shared with us and I hope we can help her.

I should say that she and her brother are not at each other’s throat’s all day long or anything like that. There are many many times they play quite well together for HOURS without any issues or incidents. But then there are things like he got a new bed for Christmas and she has been sleeping in his bed with him since Christmas day. Super sweet… right? I can choose to think of that as sweet or I can choose to think of it as jealousy since she did not get a new bed. I don’t know… a little bit of both maybe? She very often wants to read him his bed time story… which can be very sweet. But when she does this, she then gets me all to herself for her bedtime story and can be very insistant me not coming upstairs until she has read him to sleep. Manipulation??? I take opinions!

With her friends, she can be bossy but doesn’t put everything they do down like she does to her brother. I always tell her she doesn’t have to like everyone but she does have to be kind. At the same time, I’ve also been trying to heed the “lean in” advice to not force her into the nice sweet little girl box and allow her to be a leader. In little boy world, bossy boys are leaders. In little girl world, bossy girls are just considered mean. Her teacher said she is more of a leader at school and very often will be the first to loan a pencil or help to a student who needs it. But if you’re not doing something right, she will tell you that too. I’m struggling trying to figure out normal behavior and truly inappropriate behavior and how to correct it. I just wish she was nicer to her little brother! Although, he seems not to get his feeling hurt as easily as she does, I worry that his long term self confidence will be affected. But maybe I’m over thinking all of this. Who knows…. I think I forgot to pick up my “How to Do This” manual when I brought them home from the hospital.

I agree with motherjanegoose that the training and skills of the workers are often limited. They are trying, but they don’t always have the best judgment, in regards to working with kids or handling issues that pop up. At each of the drama camps my son attended through the recreation department, there was an odd, air quality issue that popped up one day during each camp. On the 4th day of one drama camp, they rehearsed in the “music room”, a much smaller room than where they normally met. When I picked him up that day, when the doors opened to the room, I was floored by an overwhelming paint or chemical smell, as if the room had just been spray painted. I asked what the smell was, and the young counselor said “Yeah, it was pretty bad, but we got used to it after awhile”. Really? I walked over to the management office in the rec. building and was told that the whole building had been painted the weekend before and he said “maybe the painters came back and touched up last night”. This was not a minor odor, but the kind of fumes where the product says “use in a well ventilated area”. A more experienced person would have known to open the door to the room or some windows to air things out or ask to be moved to another room in the building, as other rooms were available. And, the rec. dept. manager certainly wasn’t aware of anything. So, the six year olds were in a small, closed classroom with extremely strong paint fumes for 3 hours. The next year, at a drama camp with the same rec. dept, but at a different park, when I picked up my son, the entire building was filled with gas fumes. I asked the person at the front desk what was going on. There was another day camp, where they grill out hot dogs for the campers. It was raining, so the huge grill was placed under the overhang of the building by the doors to the gym. They operated the grill there; but, because it was under the overhang and the doors were opening and closing, the fumes got “sucked in” and circulated through the entire building. It was intense and the front desk worker said it had never happened before.

Also, I think that young counselors don’t always know how to lead the activities so that they are more “hands on” for the kids. An experienced person knows when to let the kids do the activity themselves and when they need to step in and help. They know the right balance. The 2nd drama camp leader had adults who were experienced with theatre and it was great. The first drama camp, though, after my son got his role, he came home and wanted to make his own costume. He found things around the house that were perfect and pieced together a great costume. When I dropped him off the next day, I walked in with him and mentioned to the counselor that he brought his own costume that he made. The counselor then said, “Oh, he’s not going to wear the mouse costumes that we have” (as they had some on hand.) And, she turned to my son “You don’t want to wear this one!” A more experienced worker or teacher would know how to handle that situation. Not only did his costume look more interesting, it was a more creative experience for him and he was inspired by the camp to make one.

@MJG..When it’ s to hot to cook, we eat a lot of salads, sandwhiches or eat out..There are a couple of microwave dinners that we like a lot, so we have those..I also cook in the crock pot and I have an electric roaster, I have both of these on the back patio and cook in them a good bit..

Maybe TWG did not like your suggestions but if you post them here…we can give them a whirl! Or maybe someone wants to comment on the questions I asked. Maybe not…haha!

@ Ann…love your last paragraph!

For us, the camp we choose each summer is intended to be fun, but also to spark an interest in a topic. The first two years it was a drama/theatre camp where the kids plan, rehearse and perform a play. For any kid interested in “dress up” play, acting, etc., this can be great fun and can spur their interest in doing their own creative plays at home with friends and neighbors.

I highly recommend reading online reviews, which you can find for any of the camps that are part of a national business. This helped us rule out one camp we were considering. You do need to be aware as to who will be working with the kids and what kind of knowledge and experience they have. For example, if it’s a camp at a Nature Center, is it a naturalist or a regular employee leading activities or a summer employee with limited knowledge and experience. Both situations can be okay, but it depends on the child and what you are looking for. My son is very interested in nature and knows a lot of the basics and likes to ask questions, so he wouldn’t be a good fit for activities that are too “introductory”.

If at all possible, though, the bulk of the summer should be for “unorganized” play and exploration. I’d rather my son be out in the yard exploring and finding worms and other creatures on his own than having an organizer leading the activity. I do understand that full time working parents have limited options. But, those who have the freedom to choose, I think kids need lots of unstructured, unorganized free play.

My goal is for my son to grow up to be independent, a self initiator with learning, and to know how to enjoy his free time on his own. As a parent, it is my job to have books and stimulating materials around the house and to expose him to a variety of experiences. And, since he is an only child, I help make sure we have some time each week with other kids, whether it is playing in the neighborhood or at the park or pool.

It is “not” my job to keep him from being bored. Parenting is so much easier if you manage to instill in your child at an early age how to “make their own fun” each day. We accomplished this, in part, by keeping the TV and other electronic toys and devices “off”, especially in the early years. So many parents are on this “train” of thinking they need to provide plenty of organized, enrichment activities so their kid will grow up to be successful. And, that they need to keep their kids “busy” so they are not bored. And, society is conditioning kids that they need to be entertained externally. You can’t even go to the dentist these days without being asked “what movie do you want to watch”. It is assumed that you want to watch something. My son asks them to turn the movie off. He wants to interact with the employees and watch them work and observe the instruments.