The Huffington Post ran a column from a mother who felt like she was being a bully telling her free-spirited, smell-the-flower child to hurry up.
“When I needed to be out the door, she was taking her sweet time picking out a purse and a glittery crown…”
“Whenever my child caused me to deviate from my master schedule, I thought to myself, “We don’t have time for this.” Consequently, the two words I most commonly spoke to my little lover of life were: “Hurry up.”…
“Then one fateful day, things changed. We’d just picked my older daughter up from kindergarten and were getting out of the car. Not going fast enough for her liking, my older daughter said to her little sister, “You are so slow.” And when she crossed her arms and let out an exasperated sigh, I saw myself — and it was a gut-wrenching sight….”
“It was pretty easy to banish “hurry up” from my vocabulary. What was not so easy was acquiring the patience to wait on my leisurely child. To help us both, I began giving her a little more time to prepare if we had to go somewhere. And sometimes, even then, we were still late. Those were the times I assured myself that I will be late only for a few years, if that, while she is young.”
I will admit that I am a mother who says hurry up. For example, Lilina was home sick on Monday and we needed to go pick up Walsh from school. She was playing upstairs, and I gave her 10-minute warning, 5-minute warning and then told her it was time to go. She never came downstairs. So I went upstairs to get her and she hid. By that point I was mad and late. There were threats of no TV and a lot of saying hurry up.
Kids notoriously don’t have a concept of time. They don’t wear watches. I give my kids countdowns but sometimes they need to be rushed.
Is it really bad to tell them to hurry? When is it OK? Can it be bullying? Can it be reasonable?