Mother’s Day not up to par? Time to join

Feel neglected on Mother’s Day? Today might be the day to join – the dating website for married people. The site’s founder confirmed that the day AFTER Mother’s Day is the site’s second busiest day for women joining. (Read on to find out the first busiest day.)


“Noel Biderman, founder and president of AshleyMadison, confirms that is true year in and year out. “I think this is due to the simple fact that, for many women, Mother’s Day is a barometer of how her family and partner feel about her. That is not to say that all women are expecting to be lavished with gifts but they are expecting to be adored and lavished with gratitude, love and respect,” Biderman says. “If Mother’s Day, like so many other days, is once again hollow and absent [of positive] reinforcement … well, is it any wonder that they end up in the arms of another?”

“Biderman revealed to female-centric parenting site last year that, on a typical Monday, between 2,500 and 3,000 women sign-up for the site. But on the day after Mother’s Day in 2009, AshleyMadison saw close to 24,000 new female members. (No surprise: The day after Valentine’s Day took first prize for most new female memberships on this site.) “

I would think a crappy wedding anniversary, not Mother’s Day, would be more indicative of how your husband feels about you. Wouldn’t a bad anniversary push women to join more so than a bad Mother’s Day? (I guess those numbers don’t show up because wedding anniversaries are on different days and not shared by women across the nation. Hmm.)

Do you rate how your family feels about your by your Mother’s Day treatment? What would be an acceptable day of appreciation? What would fall short? Do you think this statistic about is true? Would a bad Mother’s Day push you over the edge to step out on your marriage?

31 comments Add your comment


May 13th, 2013
2:40 am

Oh, dear God. Why in the hell should people have to pay homage to us in order for us to feel worthwhile? I don’t mind Mother’s Day, but it certainly isn’t the be-all and end-all of my mothering experience. Mother’s Day is ONE freakin’ day. It’s the other 364 days that are a better picture of how your family “feels” about you.

If a “bad” Mother’s Day causes someone to step out of their marriage, well, they were just looking for an excuse to do so in the first place. Honor and integrity do not require constant stroking in order to remain a major building block of a marriage — it’s a reflection of what you as a woman is made of, not how “well” or how “badly” they may have treated you on Mother’s Day.

Both of my kids were in town (hooray!), and we contented ourselves with a nice lunch out. Lavish gifts on this sort of holiday aren’t generally our forte’, especially with young adult kids just out of college with very little money. My daughter’s “gift” was assembling and planting new deck rail planters, and I will enjoy the geraniums all summer long. My son’s “gift’ was taking a day off of work on Friday and flying down in order to be with the family for his sister’s graduation.


May 13th, 2013
5:51 am

DB: I don’t think it is just the Mother’s Day performance that prompts this. I think it is just symbolic. Mom probably feels unappreciated for a long time and the fact that Mother’s Day was a bust just intensifies the feeling and they end up feeling like it’s not worth it.


May 13th, 2013
6:47 am

Likely due to women building unrealistic expectations (inside their heads) about what Mother’s day should be…..and then being disappointed when it doesn’t meet their expectations. Sad…..


May 13th, 2013
7:04 am

This type of article just really upsets me. First off, your husband is NOT obligated to get YOU anything for MOTHER’S DAY. You ARE NOT his mother. My Dad never gave my mom a Mother’s Day card or presents. My husband has NEVER given me a mother’s day card. I’m not his mother. Yes, I am the mother of his kids, but not his.

And I certainly would NOT expect anyone to go out of their way for me on this Hallmark Holiday. My kids honor me all year long by walking the walk and talking the talk. They all work, two are in college, and they don’t ask us for much. They all pay their own bills, they help around the house, and they are good kids.

We all took my Mom out for brunch yesterday. Each one of my kids gave me a new rose bush. We (my brother and I) gave our mom 2 hisbiscus plants, one from me, one from my brother. We went to brunch, went back to my parents house planted her hibiscuses. We went home, and the kids and I planted my rose bushes. It was a beautiful day!


May 13th, 2013
7:18 am

This is seriously drivel. I can’t believe you can’t come up with something more important to discuss. If a “bad” mother’s day drives these women into cyberspace so they can find another (married) man, I’d say they were a bad mom to begin with.


May 13th, 2013
7:21 am

Adored and lavished are not words I would use to describe 99% of my life. I am adored by the little kids I work with but so much at home. My husband has never been the adoring type nor has he lavished me with gifts. Loved and appreciated are words I could use.

We were all together yesterday and that was what counted. We went out for lunch. My sister calls me her mother, as I am 13 years older than her and she made me an adorable flip flop wreath to put on my front door, for the summer. She was pretty much passed on to me when she was born and we are close.

We were all together on Friday, to see and celebrate our son getting his Doctorate. We invited friends and my husband took everyone to dinner. I told him not to worry about Mother’s Day too much, as it happens every year and we were able to celebrate on Friday, a once in a lifetime accomplishment.

Our Pastor said this in church yesterday and I am taking it with me:

A life not devoted will not see amazing! He was referring to our faith and what can happen if we live it. I have seen amazing in that category.

Many women out there are devoted to their families and also amazing things happen. Not always on our schedule. I am not a helicopter Mom but I am devoted and I witnessed an amazing thing on Friday, when my son got his Doctorate. I look forward to seeing what my daughter will do too. Congrats to you DB, on your kid’s accomplishments. I know you are proud!

Sometimes it is easier to dwell on yourself when you are exhausted with the cares of being a Mom ( Yes, I have felt that pain) . Especially if you are working hard at it and no one seems to care. Many nights, I go to bed and pray, “Thank you for a warm/comfortable bed and the chance to get a safe night’s sleep.” Not everyone has this and most of us are used to it.


May 13th, 2013
7:28 am

I can see why Mother’s Day would be a trigger. I know a woman for whom it was a trigger to file for divorce. Like mom2alex&max said, these probably aren’t women who are feeling happy and loved until they don’t receive a big enough gift for Mother’s Day. My friend felt taken for granted and unappreciated in general, and when even on Mother’s Day she received no acknowledgement or kindness (husbands should at least help small children honor mom somehow), that was a signal to her that there was no hope.


May 13th, 2013
7:28 am

A couple of years back, a buddy of mine and I (we were single at the time) came up with profiles on Ashley Madison as a goof and joined the base package to see what these women looked like, said on their profiles, etc. You would believe the ones saying “I don’t want to change my status, nor do I want to change yours. I just need excitement on the side.” I even took it a step further and for giggles, met a few for drinks. Of the three, two were GORGEOUS and said that she didn’t want to bed hop, but wanted a steady affair. I can honestly say that I have never had any female just rip my clothes off and just eat me alive like that and they called me for “meetings” sometimes twice a week. If you think that married women don’t crave sex, you are wrong. They just don’t want it with their husbands. It’s no wonder that the website does such business!


May 13th, 2013
7:34 am

I honestly don’t believe it was JUST the lack of Mother’s Day’s hoopla that prompted all those women to sign up. Neither was a lackluster Valentine’s Day the sole reason. Those days were triggers, catalysts. It was the representation of what they felt most of the times anyways.

If a woman feels loved all year round, those days won’t matter. But when you feel used like a dish rag all the time, they become symbolic.


May 13th, 2013
7:35 am

I am a member of the website and use it as a filler for my husband who is so into his career that he forgets or puts everything else to the side. The men know the situation, make me feel beutiful, desireable and sexy. It’s not for everyone, but it is for me. It’s SO great to feel the excitement, the lust and the pasion again and have someone return it back. Again, it’s not for everyone, but it had met my expectations and more.

A Realist

May 13th, 2013
7:36 am

I wonder what the reaction would be if this same question were presented after “Father’s Day” and the neglected husband (ie..not getting sex) was the subject. I am sure it was be far different from the rather passive comments we have seen so far.


May 13th, 2013
8:04 am

I was anything but thrilled with my husband’s plan for Mother’s Day yesterday but it certainly isn’t driving me to cheat on him or leave him. Perhaps he’ll get the same return treatment for Father’s Day but that’s about the extent of my ‘retribution’!


May 13th, 2013
8:11 am

@TB13579 – if you are on the website, and obviously unhappy in your current situation – why do you stay with your husband? Is it the money? My guess is it is. You like the lifestyle.

I think you need to divorce and quit running around on the man you committed the rest of your life, you know, for better or worse? You did make those vows right. And when the going gets tough, you bail. Shame on you!!!

Southside Steve

May 13th, 2013
8:14 am

I am a single man who has been on Ashley Madison for about 3 years. I wanted to find people who were not interested in a committed relationship and I have found that. I have met three real woman from Ashley Madison. I am very busy and, take this as you will, I do not have the time to invest in a day-in-day-out relationship. I have done it before but that is not where I am right now.

There are several things you have to be careful about on Ashley Madison in my experience. Many girls there are web cam girls, they use the site to drive business to themselves. There are also many “sugar babies” there, younger women looking to be taken care of by older guys. There are also more sinister scams on Ashley Madison such as overseas agents looking to get you to send them money in the guise of being a poor girl trapped in a foreign country and needing to get home to girls here looking for you to send them money for a plane ticket that they never intend to buy. All those are really scams and as far as I know none are sponsored by Ashley Madison. Their pricing and other policies could I suppose be considered a scam too.

The bottom line is that there are some real women there, you have to be careful and not jump too quickly for what they present to you and do some research. Overall I am happy with the service and what I have gotten out of it, keeping in mind the scams that are possible there.


May 13th, 2013
8:16 am

I found Waldo, how about you?

your by your


May 13th, 2013
8:19 am

“Wouldn’t a bad anniversary push women….”

More of the feeble, poor defenseless woman-speak…..

Women are not responsible for anything……They are Pushed.


May 13th, 2013
8:21 am

I have no significant other. I have two children (11 & 13) who are still wrapped up in themselves. YES they knew it was mother’s day. Yes they gave me hugs and wished me a happy mother’s day. BUT this year they did not make me anything (that’s ok). They have no money to take me to eat (that is ok).

Yesterday was spent getting homework done. Getting shorts/swimsuits for summer activities (their’s not mine). It was spent with me picking up food already prepared and going to my parents house. It was spent watching Survivor.

If some married (or otherwise) Mom feels she needs to step out b/c Mother’s Day is NOT a day off from her job as Mom she has issues. OR like DB said, she is already just looking for a reason.


May 13th, 2013
8:24 am

I have a girlfriend of mine who is married and she has been on the site for a year now. While I don’t condone what she is doing, I admit that I do get jealous when we talk about her “latest joust” with a guy she met there. She used to be very glum and look just like everyone else. Now she is just glowing, dresses great, has lost 20 pounds and seems excited. I don’t have the guts (or the lack of morals) to do what she is doing, but I do envy her. Her husband acts like he isn’t aware of anything and just goes about his business. I envy everything about her, except the nerves I would have if I followed in her footsteps. I think that when they say that 70% of men and 60% of women have had affairs, they may be shooting a little low.


May 13th, 2013
8:42 am

Why would you “envy” someone who steps out on their spouse?


May 13th, 2013
8:44 am

None of you realize how many people are on this site and many of them are your friends. They just don’t talk about it and why would they? I think it’s low rent, but every now and then I will find out about an aquaintance of mine using it and it just blows me away. Married men and married women just stepping out for two hours and then resuming their normal routine. I don’t get how they can keep up with the two lives, to be honest.


May 13th, 2013
8:55 am

@Mayhem. I know that it’s wrong, but I envy the excitement in her life, the adventure, the sponteneity and, yes, even the naughtiness. Right, wrong or in between, I really do. But I’m also thankful that I don’t have to remember what lie I told to whom to keep covering it up. Maybe if I could get a one week Hall Pass to step into her world just to experience it again.


May 13th, 2013
9:05 am

I don’t agree with the whole “ashleymadison” concept because that is having sex with someone else without the knowledege and consent of your spouse. My wife are I are swingers and we meet and “play” with other couples a few times each month. I fully understand that the majority feel this is also “wrong” and we simply don’t care – it works very well for us; it has enhanced sex with each other; our marriage is as strong as any marriage can possibly be; and, to this day, we only “make love” to each other. Some of you will say there is no difference; that we are breaking our vows; or whatever. On that we will simply agree to disagree but, until you’ve tried it. you only know one side of the equation.
@Over45mom, yes, I can certainly relate to the “excitement and naughtiness” And, also to your point, we don’t have to worry about any “lies” either.


May 13th, 2013
9:14 am

Over45mom – I understand. I’m not married or a mom but I am in a relationship that is sometimes confusing even though I know we love each other (I can’t explain it). I was just telling my girlfriend yesterday that I wish I could go out and do something I’d be ashamed of later…just once…and go back to my honey and live normally. I wouldn’t, of course, because I would never risk us over something temporary and dangerous, but sometimes I think about it, especially when I think things are getting stale. He reaps the benefits of these “fits” because when I catch one I work really hard at getting things “un-stale” ;-)


May 13th, 2013
10:28 am

This is pretty hard to believe.

Congratulations, MJG, on your son’s graduation! I know you have looked forward to it so much! Congrats to others who are celebrating a graduation!

I had a great Mother’s Day. Saturday afternoon my elder daughter and her family and I met at the younger daughter’s house and they grilled out for us. I got some very thoughtful gifts, and my younger daughter gave me a card that captured her EXACTLY, so that was great. Sunday my son called and we talked an hour. I don’t think I have ever had a bad Mother’s Day. My family is very good to me year-round, and I am fortunate.


May 13th, 2013
12:17 pm

Not much excitement around my mother’s day but it wouldn’t make me step out on my husband. He loves me and shows me that every day and like others have said, he’s not my mother. My two oldest kids did send me flowers that were delivered on Saturday so I have two beautiful arrangements to look at for about another week. We spent yesterday laying around watching netflix most of the day and then watched our grandson for the rest of the day while his mom went out. I guess babysitting was my mothers day gift from my youngest lol.

Big and Tasty

May 13th, 2013
12:54 pm

Today’s blog helps to prove that the majority of women in America are f*ked-up, spoiled princesses looking for that 50 Shades of Grey fantasy.

“I was just telling my girlfriend yesterday that I wish I could go out and do something I’d be ashamed of later…just once…and go back to my honey and live normally”

—-why can’t you just be freaky with your husband?

“I know that it’s wrong, but I envy the excitement in her life, the adventure, the sponteneity and, yes, even the naughtiness”

—-once again why aren’t women willing to be this way with the men they married?

“She used to be very glum and look just like everyone else. Now she is just glowing, dresses great, has lost 20 pounds and seems excited”

—-again, another shining example. Why didn’t she lose weight for her husband? Why does it take a website and sex with strange men to prompt a woman to start looking attractive?


May 13th, 2013
1:41 pm

@Big and Tasty…you quoted me but you missed this point – “He reaps the benefits of these “fits” because when I catch one I work really hard at getting things “un-stale” ;-)”

And what I didn’t say was that the conversation started with the fact that I didn’t do anything wild that I would now be ashamed of in college and I wish I would have had at least one great adventure. My friend was telling me of all of hers and I was thinking of what I prude I was back then. LOL!! I cannot go back and redo my 20s but I do sometimes dream of going wild just once and when I do get this in mind, the boo definitely gets all of what I dream of doing.


May 13th, 2013
1:58 pm

Just stumbled on this blog and saw Ashley Madison and thought I’d take a peek. Looks like the women have avoided this one all together. Did it strike a cord? Did it offend you enough that you didn’t even want to comment on it? Are some of you already on Ashley Madison and just wanted to lurk and see what people said?

As far as Big and Tasty, I could take the women’s side and say that if the man actually showed some inagination, showed some actual SKILL in love-making after marriage, if THEY didn’t become over-weight couch potatos or if they were actually interested in seeing that their WIFE got some enjoyment out of it, maybe the trade off my be to their liking.

Women, men are just visual creatures and taking care of yourself is indeed a steering wheel for our libido. If you go with the motto “He should want me and love me no matter how I look.”, that’s only half true. He will love you, but he doesn’t get all that worked up over a woman that has let herself go any more than you would do the same for him if he’s fat, burping and never says a compliment at all. But MEN are just as responsible as WOMEN when it comes to Ashley Madison being so profitable.


May 13th, 2013
2:02 pm

@TWG, I’m sure the day after wedding anniversary is very popular, but since these are not stationary dates for everiyone, they are spread out throughout the year.


May 13th, 2013
3:14 pm

Dave68 this blog has gotten about as many “hits” as the others lately. I think most people have just already given up on the blog…a few die hard “regualrs” check in more to talk to each other.

You make very good points for both genders.


May 15th, 2013
8:36 pm

I don’t think a mom is entitled for wanting a simple card or some recognition on Mother’s Day. Mother’s Day is probably the least commercial of all holidays. It is sad when a man can’t say “Happy Mother’s Day” to his wife.