I found an interesting blog about how mothers can better be honored on Mother’s Day in places like church. The author who goes by the name Amy on the blog is bothered when they ask mothers to stand up to be honored because she feels like it can be hurtful to others – such as women who long to be pregnant, women who have lost babies or women whose kids have run away.
“Fast forward several years to Mother’s Day. A pastor asked all mothers to stand. On my immediate right, my mother stood and on my immediate left, a dear friend stood. I, a woman in her late 30s, sat. I don’t know how others saw me, but I felt dehumanized, gutted as a woman. Real women stood, empty shells sat. I do not normally feel this way. I do not like feeling this way. I want no woman to ever feel this way in church again.”
She believes that we can honor mothers without alienating others. She offered a nice prayer called “Honoring the Continuum of Motherhood. Here’s what she wrote:
“2. Acknowledge the wide continuum of mothering.
To those who gave birth this year to their first child—we celebrate with you
“To those who lost a child this year – we mourn with you
“To those who are in the trenches with little ones every day and wear the badge of food stains – we appreciate you
“To those who experienced loss through miscarriage, failed adoptions, or running away—we mourn with you
“To those who walk the hard path of infertility, fraught with pokes, prods, tears, and disappointment – we walk with you. Forgive us when we say foolish things. We don’t mean to make this harder than it is.
“To those who are foster moms, mentor moms, and spiritual moms – we need you
“To those who have warm and close relationships with your children – we celebrate with you
“To those who have disappointment, heart ache, and distance with your children – we sit with you
“To those who lost their mothers this year – we grieve with you
“To those who experienced abuse at the hands of your own mother – we acknowledge your experience
“To those who lived through driving tests, medical tests, and the overall testing of motherhood – we are better for having you in our midst
“To those who have aborted children – we remember them and you on this day
“To those who are single and long to be married and mothering your own children – we mourn that life has not turned out the way you longed for it to be
“To those who step-parent – we walk with you on these complex paths
“To those who envisioned lavishing love on grandchildren -yet that dream is not to be, we grieve with you
“To those who will have emptier nests in the upcoming year – we grieve and rejoice with you
“And to those who are pregnant with new life, both expected and surprising –we anticipate with you
“This Mother’s Day, we walk with you. Mothering is not for the faint of heart and we have real warriors in our midst. We remember you.”
“The words may not all be perfect but I do think it’s an interesting concept to honor mothers in all stages of the process.”
What do you think: Have you ever had your feeling hurt in church or other places when they honored mothers? What do you think of the continuum idea? (I sent the prayer to our pastor. I thought it was nice. )