Should the Duggars consider adoption?

People.com reported this week that the Duggars are considering adoption after visiting an orphanage in China. They said they were moved by the experience.

From People.com:

“They have 19 children, two grandchildren and one more on the way, but Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar say that doesn’t necessarily mean their family is complete.

” ‘We are open to the idea of adoption,” Michelle, 45, tells PEOPLE. “We are praying about it, and we will see what God has in store. Love for children has been placed on our hearts…’ ”

“The kids are definitely pushing towards wanting us to open our home up to another child or more,” says Michelle. “They see how much we have been blessed with and how little so many children have and they want to share. We tell our children that would have to be something that is God’s will for our family, and we will see if it is. Our children love children, and we all do.”

What do you think: Should the Duggars adopt? Do you think that would be an easy environment for an adopted child to adjust to? (I have no doubt they would be loving but that’s a lot of sisters and brothers to all of a sudden have.)

44 comments Add your comment

DB

March 28th, 2013
12:54 am

I don’t think it’s any of my business whether they adopt or not. I wonder, though, if any adoption agency would ever place a baby with them, given the number of childless couples out there. If I were part of a childless couple, I would be very bitter if the Duggers got ANOTHER one by adoption and I didn’t even get ONE! I guess they could go the private adoption route. And of course, there’s always special-needs children that are so difficult to place; but again, with the responsibility for so many children already, I would be hesitant to place a special needs child with this family.

A baby wouldn’t know the difference with regards to the number of siblings, so I’m not sure that’s a valid concern. An older kid, however, would probably be a little discombobulated! Plus, it’s such an overwhelmingly white-bread family, a child with a different ethnic background might have an extra-tough time fitting in, I’d think.

Who knows? (Or cares?) I don’t think they are eligible to adopt from China, because the Chinese government won’t permit adoptions to parents with more than five children under 18. Also, he is 47, and she is 46, which is coming pretty darn close to the age 50 limit set by the Chinese government for adoptive parents. (55 for special needs.)

motherjanegoose

March 28th, 2013
5:37 am

Ditto on DBs first line.

I love children too! I do not want to have a houseful of them 24/7. That is just me.

anne

March 28th, 2013
6:24 am

I agree with DB and MJG – it’s none of our business. Let’s change the topic.

david c

March 28th, 2013
6:44 am

I’m sure their real motive is to convert all them little pagan babies.

Jeff

March 28th, 2013
6:47 am

More power to them. We could use more parents out there that are on their side of the pranting fence (have a job, raise reasonably repectful kids, support themselves, contribute to society, etc).

After all, why would Isupport gay couples getting married and raising kids, but NOT the Duggars? Really?

motherjanegoose

March 28th, 2013
6:47 am

OK here’s one…. the attorney for the boy who shot and killed the baby in Brunswick said he was sure that his client was not guilty:

“My client is absolutely, 1,000 percent not guilty,” public defender Kevin Gough, who represents 17-year-old De’Marquise Elkins, told The Associated Press. He made the comments Monday, while preparing for Elkins’ first court appearance on a murder charge. It was scheduled for 2 p.m. Monday.

Now, the mother and aunt are said to have been lying:
Seventeen-year-old murder suspect De’Marquise Elkins’ mother, Karimah Aisha Elkins, 36, and his aunt, Katrina Latrelle Elkins, 33, are accused of “false statements or writings,” among other charges, the complaint said.

WHO SHOOTS AN INNOCENT BABY? As a Mother, would you tell the truth if your child did something like this? I cannot fathom being in this situation. I cannot imagine having a child who would shoot a baby. Is there something I am missing?

Big Mama

March 28th, 2013
6:50 am

They want ANOTHER child. Why? Are their television ratings dropping?

A

March 28th, 2013
7:05 am

Normally I’d agree that it’s none of anyone’s business, but since their whole brood is on TV it does become our business. Not that I would ever give them a second of my time by watching their show, but people do and if they are using a potential adoption to boost ratings or whatever, then the public does have a right to express a view on it.

homeschooler

March 28th, 2013
7:11 am

I was thinking the same thing, Jeff. A child needs loving parents. Stability, structure, discipline, values. I don’t care who you are, if you can provide that to a child you should be parent.
I would like to see them adopt foster children though. There are so many American kids who need homes. In fact, with their money and experience they could start a foster/adopt community. They basically have a group home already. I’m picturing something like Truett Cathy’s Winshape community.
Whatever they decide I’m sure they will do fine. I used to watch the Duggars when they only had 13 or kids and a small ranch home and I have always been impressed with them.

@ MJG too hard to wrap my head around. I will say that the mother of the baby is going to make prosecuting these guys very difficult. Her credibility is already being questioned. Here is a new topic for you, Theresa…If your baby was murdered would you have him cremated, ask that the ashes be disposed of and give away all the baby’s belongings and move out of state within a few days? And the father blames the mother but doesn’t blame the shooters. WTH?? The defense attorney is going to have a field day with this one. Just sayin’

This is Mrs. Norman Maine

March 28th, 2013
7:12 am

It’s funny how people are saying it’s none of our business when they are publicly contemplating their decision on television and in the media. If it’s so private, then how do we even know about it? Therefore I’m going to give my opinion about it.

They are already parents to 19 and grandparents to 2. In terms of attention and affection, SOMEBODY is getting shortchanged. They collect kids the way others collect figurines and that ain’t right. Sure the kid will be well-fed and clothed but there’s more to this parenting thing than that. Enough already.

And @Jeff, what does gay couples having children have to do with the Duggars? Talk about a non sequitur. Oh wait no, mjg’s post about the Brunswick baby was a detour. She should start her own blog if she wants to discuss other topics.

motherjanegoose

March 28th, 2013
7:22 am

@ Mrs. Norman….Haha! anne mentioned: Let’s change the topic. So I tossed one in. It had to do with parenting didn’t it? Sometimes TWG has posted my topic for the blog. She is kind to do so. Regarding your remark to Jeff, that was a blog topic just a few days ago.

irisheyes

March 28th, 2013
7:28 am

Since the older girls are raising the younger ones anyway (they’ve admitted on camera that the oldest daughter is in charge of homeschooling now), it really doesn’t matter to the parents how many kids there are. They’ve stated they want to reach the magic 20. I think the fact that they deny their children a college education and any sort of life skills at all is sad. Their daughters are destined for a life of raising children with no hope of ever reaching their dreams. Personally, I find it extremely sad that they have no choices in life except to be a SAHM and raise a litter of children. (Disclosure: If they want to be a SAHM, great, but you can’t tell me that none of those girls want to be a teacher or a nurse or a chemical engineer, etc.)

motherjanegoose

March 28th, 2013
7:44 am

@xxx…curious about your take on my posts on yesterday’s tattling blog. I wonder if you consider that nosy?

FCM

March 28th, 2013
7:45 am

I concur with DB’s first line. I don’t think we should be discussing it here either.

catmom

March 28th, 2013
7:52 am

Anyone who watches the show regularly (and I do, for the train wreck factor) knows that Michelle and Jim Bob aren’t actually raising their children themselves. The older daughters (who range in age from late teens to early 20s) are responsible for most aspects of childcare–beyond what any older sibling should have to do. Jim Bob’s mother also lives with them, and she has taken on a lot of duties. Read the Duggars Without Pity blog for more insight.

HB

March 28th, 2013
7:55 am

Difficulty of adjustment would probably depend on the child’s background. If the child is adopted from an orphanage or group home, they may feel more at ease with a lot of people around than they would in a small family. I’ve only seen the Duggars is short interviews, but they seem to be good parents who live sensibly, so I see no reason why they shouldn’t adopt a child.

DB

March 28th, 2013
7:58 am

@A: Just because they choose to give us a window on their life on TV does NOT mean that they are opening up their life for us to direct it!! I have only watched the show once, and it didn’t really interest me. Let’s face it — no matter what WE think, the Duggers will do what they think is best for them and their family.

justmy2cents

March 28th, 2013
8:07 am

Should they? No- they are kid hoarders. The poor Chinese kid will basically just be switching orphanages, just these are all white kids instead of Chinese and not destitute. I’m sure once they finish their praying, amazingly their “god” will give them the answer they want. Maybe they can be like Angelina Jolie and start collecting children from various countries.

A

March 28th, 2013
8:22 am

Maybe if people would stop watching their show and stop supporting them, they will go away. I could not care less if people have 1 kid or 20 (or none!), but the fact that they choose to be in the public *does* give us the right to discuss this. If they were just some crazy, insane family with 19 kids but no TV show, we’d probably still think they are beyond nuts to go for 20, but when you’re on TV you are putting your life out there. Look at the idiot Alpharetta councilman Donald Mitchell and his drunken, misogynistic appearance on a trashy reality show.

Kristen S

March 28th, 2013
8:34 am

No, they are members of a religious cult that demeans women and endangers their lives

jmb

March 28th, 2013
9:49 am

MJG – To answer you question, NO, I wouldn’t lie for my child if they did something as hideous as this. I would hog tie them and call the cops.

Miscat

March 28th, 2013
12:06 pm

In my opinion, they should have considered this option 15 or so kids ago …

RJ

March 28th, 2013
12:11 pm

Only if they’re going to raise them and not leave it to the older ones. I don’t like that set up. Plus, I have 3 and feel like I neglect one of them sometimes. I have a tough time trying to split my time between the 3 of them, I can’t imagine how they do it with 19.

Real Life

March 28th, 2013
1:26 pm

When you put your life out on TV for money then you are inviting commentary on all aspects of the life that you are sharing. The Duggars may not want opinions but getting them is a very clear result of what they are doing. If you do not want those opinions then keep your family off the TV. Very little good will come of this TV exposure–and I do not count the money as good.

I have never seen this program (or any so-called reality show) but I think that trying to reach a round number of 20 children is not a desire to offer more children a better life than it is a goal that will make them stand out more than they do. I cannot see how any child would be better off joining this family who, from what other comments say, delegates child-rearing to older children. This sounds less like a family and more like a business. They need to re-examine the meaning of parenting and family. From the sound of it they are more interested in publicity than in the family they have.

xxx

March 28th, 2013
2:28 pm

mjg- I honestly couldn’t say, I never read your posts. My reference was to folks in general who sole purpose seems to be keeping up with what everyone else is doing. Please don’t take it personal.

btw… the Duggars have turned their children into slaves and no child deserves to be brought into that cult.

K's Mom

March 28th, 2013
3:13 pm

@xxx, you are right about the slave labor and it INFURIATES me that the girls are not offered education beyond high school. I want to watch the show or read the book when one of those girls leaves their prison camp, cuts her hair, puts on some lip gloss, starts dating and going to college. That is the story that will be most compelling to me.

I have 2 children and would have loved to have had a 3rd, but once baby 2 came home and I saw how hard it is to juggle and manage time and feel like I am spending enough one on one time with both. There is no way 19 kids are getting what they need from 2 parents.

1776

March 28th, 2013
4:23 pm

The Duggars are a wonderful family & I commend them on their ‘quiverfull’ approach & home schooling. If they do choose to adopt, I hope they look for needy children in ‘non trendy’ adoptee areas…ie – not Africa, South America or Asia. There’s many impoverished kids that need adoption in Appalachia & Eastern Europe. I hope they don’t follow the ‘celebt@rd’ trend of adopting 3rd world ‘pets’ (to be trendy).

Just sayin' . . .

March 28th, 2013
4:40 pm

Duggars? Maybe, it’s certainly their call. Momma June of Honey Boo Boo fame? Not so much.

catlady

March 28th, 2013
4:50 pm

My comment disappeared. I think a mental health evaluation would be top priority for ALL the family!

MiltonMan

March 29th, 2013
7:40 am

“I’m sure their real motive is to convert all them little pagan babies.”

Yes, that is so much worse than the child spending the rest of her life in an orphanage. Good for them – they appear to be a loving family!

Me

March 29th, 2013
7:42 am

We have reared our three – youngest turned 18 this past Sunday – and, I swear, the older I get and the closer we become to being “empty nesters” the more anti-kid I become. And I don’t have intent of being rude. It’s just that we have dedicated that portion of our lives to ensuring our children had everything they needed and an awful lot of what they wanted and now it’s “our” turn.
Crap, off topic again, sorry —
As for the Duggars, I couldn’t possibly care any less. However, to @DB’s point, I would find it unfortunate if they are approved while a childless couple, who qualify and who would provide a good environment, suffer disappointment.

Jeff

March 29th, 2013
9:00 am

My point was, if the we all want kids to have loving, stable family environments like we claim we want for them when it comes to gay parents, then isn’t that what the Duggars provide?

How can you say that loving gay couples would make great parents because they love each other and turn around and say the Duggars are NOT good parents?

We’ve already established that we aren’t going to pass judgement on them (a gay couple) as long as they’re great for the kids, so why are we passing judgement on them (Duggars) when their kids seem to be doing well?

K's Mom

March 29th, 2013
9:58 am

@Jeff, I get your point, but the Duggars (the parents) are not rearing the youngest of the brood in an extremely involved manner. Their older daughters are raising their younger siblings. That is what I have most issue with.

a_mom

March 29th, 2013
10:30 am

The Duggars seem to be a nice, stable couple who just have an extremely large family. As for the older kids helping to raise the younger ones, that’s not so unlike the stories my mom has told me about how it was in “the old days” when many had large families of 9 or 10 kids. As one of the oldest, she often took care of the younger ones and helped with cooking, laundry, and cleaning. We’re just not used to that anymore because you rarely ever see families with more than 4 kids.

I remember watching a very moving episode of “This Is Your Life” when I was a kid. They brought out an elderly couple who had both adopted many, many children and also raised many others as foster kids. They must’ve brought out at least 50 or more adults at the end of the show who were raised by this loving and generous couple! What an amazing thing to have affected the lives of so many children who might’ve been lost and alone in the world! Why shouldn’t the Duggars be able to do the same if they have the heart for that?

Simply Red

March 29th, 2013
11:19 am

The Duggars are just greedy…………….

FCM

March 29th, 2013
12:06 pm

Am I the only one who recalls the Showtime series in the 70s-80s of the DeBolts? They had adopted 13 children…many from war raveged countries. Most of them with some kind of “challenge”…phsyical, mental, or both. They had natrual born children as well and ALL the children were required to help with the various others at some point.

I don’t recall anyone saying should they adopt 19 kids. I remember them saying WOW look at those people raising 19 kids many of who need extra time and attention.

FCM

March 29th, 2013
12:11 pm

or rather that they had 6 should they adopt 13 more…with special needs no less!

Mayhem

March 29th, 2013
1:23 pm

@Me – I agree with your 7:42 a.m. comment. We have raised 3, all in their 20’s, 2 in college part time, and all 3 work. BUT they are still at home, which is fine with us. They are all saving their “nest eggs” and once they each reach a certain monetary goal, they will fly our nest.

However, we still have the freedom to be “us”, and we are starting to travel by ourselves a bit more now. We did devote a HUGE chunck of our lives to raising these kids, and it is now our turn!!!

adoptionmomma

March 29th, 2013
9:27 pm

I think that while they were touched, maybe enlightened that the rest of the world doesn’t have it as cushy as they may seeing children in poverty and orphan homes that exist in other parts of the world, I do NOT think that their emotional response to the situation is enough to justify adopting a child because those feelings of “how sad” are not going to last. No child needs to grow up thinking they have to be grateful for being rescued from something like that would bring. China isn’t going to go forward with them anyway. The family size as it is now is already against them for adoption requirements from China who like to see SMALLER size families or families with NO children before considering adoption requests from families. It’s just a fact. If they are doing this just to “rescue” then it’s the wrong motive behind adoption. Kids are not something you collect like bottle caps or baseball cards. These are human beings with lives and adoption is not something anyone should do because they have an emotional moment. Adoption is not an easy road and I would hope they would not just rely on friends experiences alone in the process as what it really is. You can’t and shouldn’t go into adoption with the romanticized view of the “perfect situation and child”. The reality is there are no Annie and Daddy Warbucks type adoptions. The perfect child in adoption is the one you are placed with and it’s from there you have to be determined that no matter what the need, who the child is that they are going to be yours and part of your family for better or worse.

mary

March 29th, 2013
9:32 pm

As a mom to four children adopted from China. I asked my children what they thought about a family with 19 children wanted to adopt a child from China. They said AWESOME!! If they have a happy home and they are experienced they would make a child in an orphange in China very happy.

I that children living in orphanges desire to know the love of a family. Also, children living in a orphanges in China are used to large families because they live in a large family in thier orphange. Still an orphange with loving caregivers is not the same as a forever family. The Duggars certainly have the experience and love to be excellent adoptive parents.

Parent

March 30th, 2013
2:16 pm

Maybe they should first consider adopting one of the many children in America who cannot get adopted.

Just Some Random Internet Person

March 31st, 2013
1:15 pm

MOST. SELFISH. OBLIVIOUS. FAMILY. EVER.

hannah

April 3rd, 2013
3:53 pm

Doesn’t matter what people think. Matters what God thinks. God hears the cry of the orphan.

A.Roddy

April 3rd, 2013
6:04 pm

To those saying they are wonderful should look up their beliefs. They are Independent Baptists follow the teachings of Bill Gothard and Quiverfull. amom@ People had 9-12 kids in the past because there was no birth control. 100 yrs ago kids were often forced to be an adult before their time because the families needed money. Needless to say most were poorly educated and received no education beyond 8th grade. Now, there are 20 forms of birth control. No excuse now. Families these days are smallerfor a reason. It cost $250K to raise a kid to 18 plus one parent can’t always provide the only income.