A husband who helps around the house is bound to get more sex

A fellow AJC blogger, George Mathis, is writing today about a new study that says that husbands that perform less masculine chores around the house are less likely to have sex.

From Mathis’ blog “News to Me”:

“The study in the American Sociological Review says husbands who spend more time doing traditionally female chores, such as cooking, cleaning, and shopping, report having less sex than those who partake “in traditionally masculine tasks — yard work, paying bills, and auto maintenance,” reports Agence France Presse.

The study looked at 7,002 straight, married couples in the United States. The median age of those in the study was about 43. Data used in the study was collected from 1992 to 1994. Researchers could not use more recent info because “to our knowledge, it is the only dataset with detailed measures of both sexual frequency and actual participation in household labor.”

Still, the researchers, two-thirds of which are female, concluded “display of gender is important for creation of sexual desire and performance of sexual activity.”

“Men or women may, in essence, be turned on (however indirectly) when partners in a marriage do more gender-traditional work.”

George Mathis quotes a female co-worker who says this study is BS and I completely agree with her.

If a husband is helping around the house at all, doing any type of work, he is bound to get more sex for multiple reasons.

No. 1 — The woman has some of the household burden taken off of her plate thus giving her more time for “leisure” activities.

No. 2 — The woman is grateful to her husband for helping and being engaged in their family life and is therefore more likely to want be romantic with him. Now I am not saying this is a quid pro quo but if your spouse is helping you are more likely to be predisposed to having sex with him.

Now I think the point the study is trying to make is to distinguish between men helping with less masculine things and I call BS on that too. I don’t care if Michael scrubs toilets, takes out the garbage or washes clothes, I just appreciate all that he does around the house.

What do you think? Are you less turned on by a husband who washes dishes or cooks instead of mows the lawn? Or are you just happy to have help? Do you find that you are more likely to put out if your husband has helped at home? Hubbies: Do you find your wife to be more amorous when you have pitched in?

33 comments Add your comment

Not A Mom

January 31st, 2013
10:37 am

I think this study wasn’t very well designed. If a husband (or a wife!) isn’t doing anything around the house, why would their partner feel very amorous towards them? The burden is meant to be shared. Now, if my husband does more than his share, I’m grateful but it doesn’t always lead to sex.

catlady

January 31st, 2013
11:12 am

Several problems with this. Among them, a dated data set. And second, self-reporting on sex is subject to “inaccuracy.”

JP

January 31st, 2013
11:18 am

they have obviously never heard of a choregasm

dc

January 31st, 2013
11:25 am

If sex is a quid pro quo for chores, then you may as well act on the last article on Momania (the big D, not the big O)

yeah right

January 31st, 2013
11:30 am

I love when people discard scientific studies because they’re not convenient. The results likely have to do with gender roles – women saying they want the help but actually being turned on by a more masculine man. If you’re using sex as a carot on a stick, what’s the point?

Angry Much

January 31st, 2013
12:08 pm

The truth is that women are turned on by a man that is a man. This doen’t mean macho, chest pounding, beer guzzling man, but a man that can do man things. Is it right or even make sense half the time…no. My husband can cook some thins waaaay better than I can and I am greatful when he does but I definitely get more of a tingle when he comes in all sweaty form mowing the lawn (god knows I don’t want to do it.) or when he saves us money by fixing something in the house himself. Of course I find my husband sexy when we are getting ready to go to work in the mornings so maybe I’m not the best person to speak on this.

justmy2cents

January 31st, 2013
12:08 pm

A thought- bill paying taking about 5 minutes online, yard work- an hour or two every few weeks, and how often does your car break down? Maybe the men who did the cooking, cleaning, and shopping were too tired for sex. :)

Angry Much

January 31st, 2013
12:10 pm

Please forgive the typos. I was rushing.

non committal mind reader

January 31st, 2013
12:19 pm

As a male….

There is nothing I can say here that one of you won’t say, “not ALL women are like that”. But a significant number are. So here goes:

Example 1: Women say they want to meet nice guys… and then chase after every bad boy around. I couldn’t tell you how many times the “nice guy” was “too boring” or “just a friend”. What women want and what they SAY they want are two different things. Their actions betray their true feelings.

I suspect that the same thing is true here. Women SAY that they want help around the house (and I think that they really do mean it). But then they (apparently) have less sex with that man. Their actions betray their true feelings. I believe it is the same contradiction as in Example#1 above. Do I believe that they want help around the house? YES. Do I believe women turn it around and hold it against him when he does do housework? YES.

Its one of the many mysteries of women.

mom2alex&max

January 31st, 2013
12:20 pm

Sex is not a bargaining chip. The chores need to be done because they need to be done not because someone expects sex out it.

Excellent point, mom2alex&max...

January 31st, 2013
12:25 pm

…to reward with sex is just like being paid for it, so what is the difference between a hooker and a wife who puts out because the hubby did something she deems worthy of her #@$&^%$…

Chaos

January 31st, 2013
12:40 pm

Before I do anything around the house I ask my wife what’s in it for me.

Mark Twain

January 31st, 2013
12:56 pm

There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.

TruthHurts

January 31st, 2013
12:58 pm

Guys are simple…we do what works for us…if this article were true and men were getting more “cookies” for doing housework…then you’d hear a lot more men saying…”I’m going home to clean up so I can hook up” but you’re not hearing that because it ain’t happenin captain….so in my honest opinion…this article is crap!!! Now, I wonder what the article would be if the odds were turned around like say….do women put out more when their men take them shopping on a regular basis and consistent basis?!?

TruthHurts

January 31st, 2013
1:04 pm

sorry…I hit enter before proof-reading and completing my comments….but I agree with non committal mind reader’s comments….@Momania…I think you should put out another marital sex test study…..ask the married women of Atlanta what would make them put out more and then ask their husbands to actually do that and lets see if it translates to more “nookie”. If it doesn’t, then non committal mind reader comments are accurate, however if it does then there will be a mini-baby boom in the city of ATL….

Jeff

January 31st, 2013
1:45 pm

Maybe the men who do more housework in this study are forever chasing the approval of their wife, being spineless, overly sensitive, etc, and the wives are now viewing them as such, are less attracted to them instinctively because they’re entire male disposition is wimpy?

Make whatever excuses you want. At the end of the day, you make things a priority when you WANT to make them a priority. When you don’t make sex a priority, it’s because you don’t WANT to.

ClydeFr0g

January 31st, 2013
2:14 pm

Let’s not get correlation confused with causation.

The study could very well be accurate. I don’t find it hard to believe that men that do more housework get less sex. The question we should ask ourselves is “Is this because men are doing more housework, or because the kind of man that might be more agreeable to doing more housework might be less masculine in a classical sense?”

I believe it’s because men that are less agreeable to doing more housework are the “bad boy” types that women are *really* attracted to despite their insistence otherwise. Poster “non committal mind reader” hit the nail on the head IMO.

homeschooler

January 31st, 2013
2:21 pm

I hate to say it but I have to agree with Jeff. Men are getting more and more wimpy. It shows in their parenting and in their marital relationships. It can be sexy if a man helps around the house but if he’s doing so just so that he won’t get yelled at, well, that just doesn’t make him attractive. Not to me anyway. Make sure my car is running, make sure the house isn’t falling down and take the kids every now and then. I’ll make sure the dishes are washed and the laundry is done and we can meet up in the bedroom.
I can see some truth to the study but I can also see what Theresa is saying.
Also, the more extreme wimpy men that I know are the ones not asking for as much sex. Are the more “manly” guys coming on to their wives more and therefore getting more? Maybe the guys doing all the “more feminine chores” don’t want sex as much. Just a thought.

Jeff

January 31st, 2013
2:23 pm

I just thought of something, if men who do more housework get less sex, doesn’t that also mean that women who do LESS housework get LESS sex?

homeschooler

January 31st, 2013
2:23 pm

Exactly, Clyde..you said that better than I did.

Math Teacher

January 31st, 2013
2:32 pm

There are so many problems with this report that my AP Stats class could drive a truck through all of the conclusions. The first most glaring is the completely out-dated data. Times change, and in 20 years they change a lot!

Second, and forgive the all caps but this is such an important concept: CORRELATION DOES NOT IMPLY CAUSATION. This is the first rule of and statistical study, and so anyone who has examined this data and come up with the conclusion that men who do housework get less sex BECAUSE they do housework either knows nothing about statistics or is a very sloppy statistician who hopes his or her audience is ignorant of basic statistical principles.

Voter

January 31st, 2013
2:47 pm

Hey, I helped around the house in addition to my outside chores and car repair, it didn’t result in more sex, oh wait, I do have 6 children. Never mind. :)

Jeff

January 31st, 2013
2:55 pm

Math, i work with stats and numbers all day, and don’t believe for a second that this a causation relationship. But in the public domain, especially amoung the gender wars, rational, intellectual thinking went out the window a LONG time ago in favor of inflated self worth, control and gotcha-ism.

But it is kinda funny to read the reactions. lol.

Quira

January 31st, 2013
3:07 pm

The study says that men and women actually seem to respond to traditional gender roles rather than to the engineered PC nonsense that some would shove down our throats.

who cares

January 31st, 2013
3:22 pm

AJC gets more irrelevant each day. Bunch of whiney, crazy housewives.

Grasshopper

January 31st, 2013
3:37 pm

“AJC gets more irrelevant each day. Bunch of whiney, crazy housewives.”

Leave Bookman out of this!

HB

January 31st, 2013
3:57 pm

You can’t draw conclusions about how traditional gender roles affect relationships today using 20-year-old data.

Jawga Boi

January 31st, 2013
4:12 pm

Hey Ms. Momania, I’ve tried all this extra chore stuff and still don’t get none. Have you read any other articles on puttin’ out you could suggest or have any other ideas that might help me?

rural life

January 31st, 2013
4:40 pm

the most “productive” household chore is opening the wine :)

Tom

January 31st, 2013
9:46 pm

Where is this house, anyway?

Observer

January 31st, 2013
10:41 pm

We share all chores and ascribe to “work now, play later.” We work so we can play. Gender roles? What the heck is that? Probably much older than many on this blog. When the data of this topic was collected, we had a baby. She is now reared and about to fly out on her own. We don’t keep score on who is doing what chore-wise. We get it done so we have time for each other. “Gender roles” not in vocabulary.

DB

January 31st, 2013
11:11 pm

The other aspect that doesn’t seem to be addressed is that in a more “traditional” marriage, you may have more of a “Spread ‘em, Ethel” mindset. It would be interesting to have had a satisfaction survey along with the study. The underlying assumption seems to be “more sex is better” — but I’d think that the quality of the sex would also play an important part in the satisfaction index. What’s better – great sex three times a week or boring sex every night?

TaTaToothy

February 1st, 2013
7:01 pm

If a woman is burdoned with doing everything (kids, household chores, full time hectic corporate job) and the husband sits around, does what he wants and gripes when he has to help then the following is what occurs in my experience – I begin to see you more as another child that I have to pick up and clean up after. So then, quite frankly you aren’t as appealing to me sexually.

If you are a partner that helps out and engages your family, then your wife still sees you as something desirable she wants to be with. It’s kind of sad to me that more men don’t get that!