12:16 am January 18, 2013, by Theresa Walsh Giarrusso
My 9-year-old has just discovered that Uncle A is not really a blood relative and just his dad’s college roommate. He’s very upset and feels very misled that Uncle A is not really his uncle.
I remember being really upset to learn that my mother colored her hair. I was probably 8 or so, and I remember crying when I found her coloring her hair one night. I felt very misled about that. (My kids tells me when I need to color. No confusion there.)
Do you call friends uncle or aunt? Do your kids get they aren’t really their blood relatives? Do they care? Are there other things, like the hair color, that your kids feel misled about?
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57 comments Add your comment
motherjanegoose
January 21st, 2013
9:15 pm
@momcat…we have the same situation. So sad for our kids!
vyv
January 22nd, 2013
9:22 am
I have many non blood relative aunts and uncles, but they are MY family!!
ert
January 22nd, 2013
12:44 pm
This ‘title’ has been floating around in the back of my mind ever since I saw it last week; something about it bothered me. I finally realized why: There is nothing ‘fake’ about an HONORARY aunt or uncle. I grew up with an aunt and uncle and always knew there was no blood kinship; she, the aunt, had nursed my daddy along with her newborn daughter, and thus she became ‘aunt’. My daughter’s best friend since middle school calls me ‘aunt’, and I cherish the term and her! My grandchildren call her aunt. So there is NOTHING FAKE about honorary ‘aunts’ and ‘uncles’.
ert
January 22nd, 2013
12:54 pm
Before anyone reads anything strange into my prior post, let me clarify that that was my “newborn daddy” that she nursed along with her own daughter.
alice
January 22nd, 2013
1:16 pm
Thank you, ert. FAKE is a most offensive word as used in the context. MISLED is not far behind.
jan
January 22nd, 2013
7:54 pm
With aunts, uncles, and grandparents such as mine, my siblings and I needed honorary aunts, uncles, and grandparents to experience a true extended family experience. My parents tried to shelter us from the fighting, the bitterness, the hatred, and the just plain cruel behavior from both sides of my actual family. But it still showed through, even when everyone was on their best behavior. Few extended family functions ended without squad cars or emergency room visits. I have not maintained contact with these toxic people and that isn’t changing.
Patrick
January 23rd, 2013
9:22 am
I don’t recall ever calling any of my parents’ friends, co-workers, etc. “Uncle Bob” or “Aunt Margaret”. I was taught that with grownups your parents know, but aren’t related to you, you called them “Mr./Mrs./Ms./Miss (Last Name)”. If they didn’t mind you calling them by their first name, without any titles, like “Chuck” or “Rayne”, then they would say so themselves. Otherwise, it was always “Mr. Reynolds” or “Ms. Peterson”.