Adoptive mothers have own form of depression: Post-Adoption Depression Syndrome
After a long journey to adopt, some mothers are surprised that they feel depressed when they finally get the child home. A new study suggests that tens of thousands of adoptive mothers may be suffering from a depression similar to postpartum depression.
“A March study of 300 mothers by Purdue University researchers found that post-adoption depression syndrome, or PAD, afflicts between 18 and 26 percent of adoptive mothers in the first year after an infant or child is placed with them. With approximately 120,000 children being adopted annually in the United States, the Purdue report suggests that tens of thousands of adoptive mothers may be suffering from depression.”
“When an adoptive parent struggles in adjusting to the new role of parenthood, she or he may hear ‘But this was your life goal! You got what you wanted!’ ” says Karen J. Foli, an assistant professor at Purdue’s School of Nursing and a co-author of the study along with Purdue’s Susan South and Eunjung Lim.
“Foli, who also co-authored the book “The Post-Adoption Blues: Overcoming the Unforeseen Challenges of Adoption,” says that adoptive parents’ unrealistic expectations, often sky-high after a long period of waiting to become a parent, can clash with the day-to-day demands of child care.”
“In fact, says Lisa Catapano, an assistant professor of psychiatry at George Washington University Medical Center, all new parents, biological or adoptive, contend with the same challenges that contribute to depression: “Sleep deprivation, a change in your relationship with your partner, a greater need for help from others, the stress of caring for a new baby, the change in your identity” and, for biological mothers, “hormonal shifts.” While adoptive parents “may not have the hormonal changes,” the other stressors are there, says Catapano, who treats both adoptive and biological mothers for depression….”
“Adoptive parents often have this sense that they are going to be a ‘super parent,’ ” says Anne Pearce, director of adoption services with Baltimore’s Board of Child Care, a private adoption agency. “But sometimes people are surprised or disappointed by some aspects of parenting: the exhaustion, or missing being in the workplace after looking forward for so long to being with a baby. I tell my clients, ‘Whatever you are surprised by is no surprise.’ ”
I can absolutely see how even without a hormone shift, adoptive mothers could feel depressed – maybe even more so. Motherhood is such a huge adjustment and sometimes with adoption you spend all this time waiting but then don’t get much notice before bringing a baby/child home.
I think especially with older babies and toddlers, it can be pretty overwhelming to jump into that stage. While newborns are scary at least they sleep a lot. Toddlers are running and you better be ready to go.
I had postpartum depression with my first, and I didn’t put it all together. How could I be sad? We had tried for a year to get pregnant with our first. She was beautiful and healthy but she never seemed to sleep. And every time she nursed it hurt unbelievably, which turned out to be infections in my breasts. The lactation consultant was the one who spotted it – not the OB and not the pediatrician. She said every time I talk to you, you are crying. You should feel better every day out and if you’re not we’ve got a problem. Just having it named helped, and I think that would be true for adoptive mothers too.
Did you adopt? Did you have post-adoption depression? Did you recognize it? How did you handle it?
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57 comments Add your comment
Denise
January 8th, 2013
6:13 pm
@MomsRule – yes, your son will be all right. It will be an experience because we sometimes don’t want to do what we know is best for us. And what a lot of us do is want to stop treatment when we feel better. I would not let your son get off his meds without the OK of a doctor. The reason he may be better may be the meds and without them he will go back to feeling bad. (Speaking from experience, here!) Having a good doctor and therapist, plus a good support system for him and YOU, is essential to getting through this thing with sanity.
@missnadine – I think I understand your point more clearly and yes you are right. Sometimes we use crutches to cope but what looks like a crutch to one is a lifeline to someone else. But yes, medicine will not heal the self-esteem issues that you are talking about! Medicine can do a lot of things – make a lot of things clearer for you – but it won’t change who you are as a person on the inside. Mental illness masks who you truly are. I am not a mean person but when I am manic I can become very aggressive and that is UGLY to see. My medication keeps that in check 99% of the time. If I was a mean person to my core, taking my medication wouldn’t change that. It might keep me from acting out my meanness but I would still be mean. If I was a weak person who finds fault with everything and complains about everything – can never see the bright side of anything ever (and I don’t mean clinically depressed) – medication is not going to give me a sunny disposition. I should figure out a way to heal what is on the inside that makes me feel so bad all the time (again, not clinical depression).
Georgia to expand program that supports new and expectant mothers | Support Groups for Mothers Blog
January 8th, 2013
8:46 pm
[...] first year after an infant or child is placed with them. … Center, all … Read more on Atlanta Journal Constitution (blog) This entry was posted in Support Groups For Mothers and tagged expand, Expectant, Georgia, [...]
Georgia to expand program that supports new and expectant mothers | Support Groups for Mothers Blog
January 8th, 2013
8:46 pm
[...] first year after an infant or child is placed with them. … Center, all … Read more on Atlanta Journal Constitution (blog) This entry was posted in Support Groups For Mothers and tagged expand, Expectant, Georgia, [...]
Mayhem
January 8th, 2013
9:36 pm
Theresa,
You constantly cannot figure out the timer on your own blog; delayed postings, goof ups, it never ends.
You teach about blogging but yet make continuous dumb mistakes such as posting your own phone number on your school’s website – just dumb. So today you ran around crazy removing your phone number from the JMC 305 website and removed a blog post. Its amateur hour with you I swear. A journalism course? Journalism is about pin point accuracy and attention to detail, something of which you are lacking.
The blogs are mostly cut-paste, write some comments and then watch the response from your cell phone. I wish you would get better but at age 40 “it is what it is”.
Thank goodness Michael is pulling in some money well into the six digits or life would be different.
I hope you improve rather than being stagnant.
Grace Slick
January 8th, 2013
11:15 pm
You are a red and black journalist, nothing more. You are not AP material. This blog is total laziness and non-dedication. Cut patste, go back to Facebook, working out, trying not to over eat and reverting back to a helicopter parent. Stay glued to your phone…. unable to have an adult conversation unless it revolves around the children…. child worship…. and being not worthy of your husband who brings in the buck while you bust his chops over anything and everything.
UGA – drive through Athens at night really slow… they will toss a diploma in your car.
Mayhem
January 9th, 2013
8:04 am
The “Mayhem” who posted at 9:36 p.m. WAS NOT ME, The real Mayhem. I’m never on the computer that late at night, or for that fact, I’m very rarely on the computer at home.
That was not me at 9:36.
Marie
January 11th, 2013
10:05 pm
I would like to respond to Mayhem’s comments on January 8, 2013 at 3:33pm:
Mayhem’s quote: “.well, maybe it wasn’t in the cards for you to have children. After IVF treatments, miscarriages, and numerous trips to Russia….”
Really? How did you become so insensitive? It’s people like you that make people become depressed. In most cases, things that happen to people are completely out of control but that doesn’t make it easier to deal with. Choosing to be happy after years of infertility, numerous miscarriages, and failed attempts to adopt is one of the hardest things a person has to go through. Yeah, I’m sure someone going through this is going to just put on a happy smile because you can just shrug it off and it doesn’t affect them. Buddy, you are so wrong! By the way, thinking happy only goes so far.
You have also talked about people having a choice to be happy. So, infertile couples can chose to be happy about not having the choice to have children. They get to watch their friends and family have children with no issues. That choice was taken away from them. So, they can choose to adopt. Well, let’s see. Years of infertility, on top of expenses to adopt, getting chosen to be an adoptive parent( if they even get chosen), heartache when your not chosen, no guarantees even though you have put so much time and effort. Much like going through infertility and failed attempts to conceive only to end in heartbreak. People, like the example you quoted, tried to change their circumstances but every time they tried to make it better, it failed. So, yeah, I do think it’s ok to be sad about something they tried to change for the better but fate was against them. Unfortunately, this happens to to many people who did nothing wrong.Walk in someone else’s shoes before you speak!
Someday when something tragic happens to change your view of things in life, you have the choice to be happy. Remember, depression is not an option and not real.