Connecticut shooting: Hurts too much to even think about

Theresa,

First of all I’d like to state that I’m not a American citizen….. I’m Australian.
Second….to all those American people that are feeling like I am ( so saddened ) …my condolences.
When I heard about the tragic shooting of these innocent children I was so heart broken and as a Australian it was hard to understand…….why you ask?
Well as a Australian gun laws are quite easy to understand, you own a gun you use a gun not as a defensive weapon…….but a tool.
Yes we have our share of shootings and always will, but in turn we have much fewer gun related crime.
I know what you are all going to say…… Australia is much smaller in population….. Yes you have a point but come on its about time you guys come to terms with the fact your gun laws are not working.
I don’t want to take away from Theresa’s heart felt comments but as a outsider I feel that I need to comment
20 odd children innocently slaughtered while they were doing what they loved……. Just going to school like all of us did………. Isn’t that enough everdence that enough is enough ? .
.

my

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For the rest of their lives, Christmas just became a mourning period for an untold number of people.

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I heard about it Friday, and cried…..at work. When I got home, I turned on CNN and cried again, so I had to turn it off. I wish there was something I could do to take the pain from those families. It pains me so when innocent babies are hurt. I haven’t talked about it, haven’t watched any news, and stayed away from the internet, facebook, etc all weekend. Went out with my girlfriends Friday night, and we did not discuss it at all…..1 mad man ruined so many lives. Thankfully he ended his life as well. Unfortunately we will never know what drove this person to this madness.

We basked in friendship and family all weekend. Yesterday, we decorated cookies, and I had a house FULL ……ranging from 9 years old to 53….I made 4 rolls of cookies, my oven was working overtime…LOL. I didn’t get to watch the Falcons game, but it was on the tv. We were listening to christmas music……

Today I told myself no facebook, no AJC, no Drudge……I can’t read anything about this horrible massacre of innocents.

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To the Aussie, I hear what you are saying but why no condemnation of the mother that allowed her brain damaged psycopath to roam free amongst us? After all mental illness is the cause of all of this, not access to weapons. As you say they were merely tools.

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@ VOR.. I agree. FB seems to cheapen the memory of these kids. I’ve deleted or hid every little picture, caption even sappy prayer that has a picture of one or all of these children on it. I have left the things that were posted on a Facebook page by their families and maybe some major news articles but just the little BS things with little sayings I get rid of. Just doesn’t seem right. I’m with you I’d be so mad as a parent to see my child’s picture all over the place like that. Captions about gun control or God. What if someone links a cause to these kids that their parents don’t agree with. Social media can be a great thing but it’s too easy for these kids and their memories to be exploited.

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I’ve been waking up at night and not only thinking about those sweet little kids but also wondering about the intense pain their families must now be enduring. I’m sure there are presents for the kids still under the Christmas tree that keeps the pain constant. Many people in my church walked down to the alter yesterday and got down on their knees and prayed for all of Newtown. In Sunday school we talked about something that made no sense and we couldn’t seem to understand. God bless you all and please continue to remember the Newtown families in your prayers.

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Define the term “assault rifle”…

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This incident, as well as others, is indeed tragic and sad beyond belief. Regardless of your or my position, it’s highly doubtful that any gun control legislation will ever be passed. I also see no reason for anyone to own an “assault” rifle but I also care not if they do. It isn’t the weapon that causes harm. Had the CT shooter not had access to the rifle, I feel he simply would have used the two handguns. It’s obvious to me that the shooter’s mom had some knowledge and fear of perhaps what this son was capable. People in her scenario need access to help for both her and her child. Enact gun control if you like but that will not reduce the number of guns that already exist nor do I believe that gun control will effectively reduce the number and types of weapons available to anyone who wishes to find them. After all, the war on drugs has had little impact.

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Let’s not be nieve ! Guns are like car keys. A ” coming of age ” in American society where owning, loading, aiming and shooting begins at an early age in all sorts of settings.
It’s not about hunting or sportsmanship. It’s about the right to bare any arms and defend against other armed persons as prescribed in the constitution. To say otherwise is nieve !

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There is a “how” and there is a “why” Unfortunately, the how was committed with guns, but there are many different methods of how. Taking guns away does not address the why. The why, is that man was so mentally ill. Help that is readily available to address people with serious mental health issues is what will stop these tragedies. Just like the ‘I am Adam Lanza’s Mother’ They wil continue to be a problem until you address what is causing it. And taking on the notion of “it hurts too much to hear about it” is just turning a blind eye to what needs to change. Those poor parents aren’t able to just turn the tv off and pretend that it didn’t happen.

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@chris — While I have some agreement with your point I think the words are “naive” and “bear” — I’m sure we shall never have laws that forbid anyone to “bare” their arms…
@A – The key to your comment is “… with those types of guns.” I’m sorry, but the type of gun used matters very little. Going back to “My Cousin Vinny”, does the deer really care what type of pants the hunter is wearing?

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I couldn’t turn away. To turn away, and not think about them, to me seemed a gross betrayal of human compassion. The parents couldn’t turn away, the police and the doctors couldn’t turn away — and I didn’t either. There’s a fine line between being a ghoulish spectator and sharing their grief . . .I don’t know what it is. I felt I was standing in solidarity with them. Painful? Yes. But only a shadow of the pain these parents are experiencing.

Hindsight is always 20/20 — and I want to smack people who point to Lanza’s mother and say, “Well, she should have known better — what a rotten mother, to let him loose on society!” No one can predict this kind of horror. No one sets out to create a monster. Even the boy, Adam Lanza, probably couldn’t have predicted it a year ago, or even six months ago. Mental illness does not follow sure and certain paths, and while it is comforting to think that “something could have been done,” it’s unrealistic. There’s a book out that was made into a movie a year ago — called “We Need To Talk About Kevin” that focused on a mother dealing with a boy who ended up in a murderous rampage at his school. The book is actually more powerful than the movie, although Tilda Swinton was amazing in the movie as the mother trying to make sense of her son, balancing a mother’s love with parental horror,and questioning her own mothering skills in the face of her husband’s denial.

I am aghast that people are using this tragedy as an opportunity to push through political agendas. After prior shootings, there were calls for additional school security. As a result, Sandy Hook had installed security. They felt safer. But it was just an illusion. The blood wasn’t even dry on the schoolroom floors before people started bleating about “Gun control would solve everything!” There is a time and a place for reasoned and considered discussion on the topic. This is NOT the time, when emotions are raw, and parents feel as if they are being used as political pawns — if they even realize what kind of debate is swirling around them. I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t, if I were them.

May God hold them close.

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AND, more importantly, where was your God THEN?

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Shocking that everyone wants to ban “assault rifles” but no one cares to explain what exactly they think an “assault rifle” is. Probably because you don’t know, you just repeat what you hear on CNN, MSNBC, or one of the network news shows without regard for the actual effects these new regulations would have. Criminals don’t care about gun control laws because, well, they’re criminals. The law is not important to them. The only people left vulnerable if we banned guns would be law abiding people.

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@ Mayhem – You are right that a person out to do violence could have used a knife or a bomb. But, the fact is, if he had used a knife, he would not have been able to kill 20 children with such speed and ease, and it would have been easier for an adult or child at the school to escape, intervene, stop and tackle him, at least before so many were killed. Kids can run pretty fast. If a knife penetrates, sometimes it is a wound, and not deadly. I’d much rather my child be trying to evade a knife attack than a military style assault rifle. And, with a bomb, there are a lot of unpredictable factors and, in many cases, homemade bombs fail or they are discovered before going off or the intended audience is small or not near at the time it goes off. In addition, the person needs access to place the bomb.

A military style assault rifle with high capacity clips that was used in this awful crime allowed the gunman to kill many children and adults extremely rapidly. These rifles were banned for over a decade starting in 1994, but the law was allowed to lapse. Sometimes when these laws lapse, the public may think it’s due to “protection of the right to bear arms”, when, in reality, it is about money; the lobbyists for the gun manufacturers protecting their profits and the politicians who receive their donations. A crime such as this will help put some true discussion on the table as to what is actually in the best interest of the American public, including children and finding some sort of balance that protects children more, while allowing weapons for basic protection, hunting, etc.

When the previous federal law lapsed, many states enacted their own bans, but the companies making these types of rifles have found various loopholes. In addition to Friday’s shooting, the Bushmaster company’s rifles were used in the Virginia mass shooting, the Washington Beltway shootings, and an Alabama shooting spree that killed 10 people.

What does someone need a military style rifle with clips that hold 100 bullets designed to stay in the tissue longer and tear it apart? If it is for sport or target shooting, why can’t they be allowed only at shooting ranges, but not off-premises?

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@Me — My cousin Vinny??? It’s been awhile since I’ve seen that movie so I guess I don’t understand your point.

I fully support our right to bear arms, however, I don’t understand the need for fully automatic and semi-automatic weapons in the hands of citizens. It seems the main argument from hardcore gun lobbiest is that they need those weapons to protect themselves incase the government runs amuck and turns on it’s citizens. Some agrue that they have the right to protect themselves using FULLY and SEMI AUTOMATIC WEAPONS agains a criminal breaking into their home etc. I have not done any research on this per say, but I’m guessing that most criminals are not breaking into homes with military grade weapons. So my point is, that I think most people own these high powered weapons for no other reason than they WANT them (aka a cool factor/collection)… and they don’t really believe that the government is going to turn on them.

Hunters certainly don’t hunt with them so that argument is out the window. So, help me understand, is the point just to have them because you WANT them? In the spirit of the arguement for a “Fair Fight” or in other words that “any citizen should be able to defend themselves with the same weapons that the government would use to attack it citizens” (again, this is an argument I hear alot from harcore gun rights protectors). But what if I WANTED a nuclear weapon? Should I be allowed to have one in my home? What if I WANTED Sarin nerve gas or other biological weapon? Should I be allowed? The constitution does say “right to bear arms”. I guess our forefathers did not forsee the advances in our capabilities to produce such weapons. But the same logic should apply… that we as citizens have the right to protect ourselves from our government with the same weaponry that they could use to attack us.

Okay, silly example right? Of course I do not want nuclear weapons or biological weapons in the hands of citizens just because the goverment could possibly use them to attack it’s citizens someday. But the logic should still apply. The problem is the potential cost to society would far outweigh the benefits of self defense. I think the same point applies to fully automatic and semi automaic weapons. They should be left to the military and not legal for citzens to purchase.

There will always be criminals and mentally ill (which I believe is the larger issue that needs to be looked at) doing bad things, but the damage could be far less if these weapons were not so readily available. 20 dead 1st graders riddled with multiple bullet holes with in a few minutes is just not acceptable! Military grade weapons are just not necessary in today’s society (for regular citizens) and are only being used for bad. Please educate me if I am wrong…. where are automatic weapons being used for good in the hands of citizens? To me, it seems that the “wants” of a few shouldn’t outweigh the saftety of the many. I know many worrry of the dreaded “slippery slope” but just in the same way that I consider the nuclear weapon argument not part of that slope, I also don’t consider automatic weapons as part of that slope. We can still have our right to bear arms for self defense without the absolute most deadly of weapons. I think the answer lies somewhere between taking military grade weapons off the market AND taking a long hard look at how we care for our mentally ill. Something has to change… compromise needs to happen.

Anyway, just a few of my thoughts. The first burial of one of those sweet angels is today. My thoughts and prayers are with their families. God Speed to them.

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I just read an article where they state that Nancy Lanza, mother of Adam Lanza, was a survivalist who stockpiled food, water, guns and ammunition in fear of “global collapse.”

According to the New York Magazine, some friends and members of the Lanza family have allegedly portrayed Nancy Lanza as part of the “Doomsday Prepper movement,” a fringe section of American civil society who live in obsessed fear of collapse of civil society, based on conspiracy theories such as UN takeover of US, an Obama inspired conspiracy to impose dictatorship on Americans, and the Obama government “coming to take away our guns.”

According to the Daily Mail, Nancy Lanza was reportedly:

“Struggling to hold herself together and had been stockpiling food, water and guns in the large home she shared with her 20-year-old son in Connecticut.
“Mrs Lanza, 52, was a ‘prepper’ – so called because they are preparing for a breakdown in civilized society – who apparently became obsessed with guns and taught Adam and his older brother, Ryan, how to shoot, even taking them to local ranges.”

This woman appears to be as nutty as a fruit cake herself, and she dragged her son down with her.

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@redandblack — To my knowledge, there are no “legal” fully automatic weapons for the normal citizen. While deemed an assault rifle, the AR15 is not a fully automatic weapon and, without regard to the size of the magazine, still only fires one bullet with each pull of the trigger; the same as any other semi-automatic weapon including the two handguns in the shooter’s possession. People refer to a number of weapons, handguns and long guns alike, as being “automatic” when they really are not such at all.

Also, @A, there is no gun available to any citizen – and very few overall – that can actually shoot more than one bullet at a time; and even these guns require multiple barrells.

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@Tina

You did not answer my question.

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Oh and Theresa? I agree with you. One of the best columns you have ever written IMHO just for the sheer simplicity and transparency of it. Hold your babies close because you never know if they will be taken from you. I hope they never are as I hope mine isn’t. That applies to everyone, even you cold-hearted rat bastiches arguing politics or god or whatever you childish meatheads have to argue about.

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I refuse to stoop to your level. I still have a heart AND a soul………….. go argue with yourself or other asshats, I care not.

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“Weapons that shoot more than one bullet at a time….keep military style weapons out of the hands of civilians” Good Lord, just stop, you don’t have the knowledge required to participate in this conversation.

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@Tina

May the invisible man in the clouds bring you solace.

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I disagree Fred. I think open respectful discussion is not “political driviel” and we are not “garbage” for participating .

We ALL feel the magnitude of this tragedy. To be honest, I do fear that if we wait until after the holidays to start respectful and meanful discussion, then our “guts” or will to make any changes will fade and we will end up caving to the typical political “drivel” that takes place when we’re past the initial shock of the tradegy. After that, the party lines dig in and nothing gets accomplished. I think now is the time for real discussion because it’s when most of us let our guard down to mourn and then are able see the negatives and postives of boths sides of the issue…. and when that happenes, compromise is more likely to happen.

@Metro Coach — if you have an opinion, please share. Just telling everyone they are not smart enough to participate in the conversation only makes you look ignorant and I’m sure you are not. I am honestly interested in the opinions of others.

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@ homeschooler – You don’t believe in “gun control”. Not any laws, of any kind? No limits regarding age, mental illness, convicted felons, etc. We already have gun control. The question is, “do the laws need tweaking somewhat to keep certain types of weapons out of the hands of mentally unstable persons?” And, how are the rights of citizens balanced in ways that do not infringe on the safety of others? These are reasonable questions that all sides should consider.

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@Me — a quick google search shows that Fully AutoMatic weapons are in fact Legal, but they are heavily regulated and very expensive. In my google search I happened across a Guns@Ammo answer/question forum and there is alot of talk because of the expense of “legally” obtaining a fully automatic weapon, many get a semi-automatic rifle and modify it.

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@redandblack — Agreed and apologies for mis-stating.

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@Chaos: I believe that God was at that school — in the principal and the psychologist who flung themselves at a man with loaded guns to try and save the children in their care, the teachers whose training kicked in and their quick thinking in protecting their children, in the janitor who raced through the school trying to warn everyone, the person with the wit to turn on the intercom and warn everyone, in the teacher who was shot as she selflessly gave her life to protect the young ones, and in the bravery of the policemen who entered the school not knowing if they were going to be taking a bullet from a hidden, desperate sniper.

Evil exists, and the shooter chose evil. Why he made the choices he did will be debated for years, until we as human beings can find an answer that assauges the uncertainties we feel in the face of the unexplainable. Will it be the correct explanation? We’ll never know.

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“@ Are you crazy? Yes, I too would like to know your definition of “assault rifle”. From what I understand the rifle used in this shooting was a semi-automatic.”

The ability to take a 30 or more round clip and change clips easily is one criteria. If Adam Lanza had gone into the school with a shotgun, he probably could have killed 6- 8 people. Semi-automatic pistols are also deadly at short range (as the Va Tech killer proved). Their clips can hold less but still can be changed easily.

Also of concern is a mother who coddles her obviously troubled son and allows him access to deadly weapons. it remains to be seen if he partook of bloody, violent games that may have dulled his emotions to killing. Perhaps we should make a mandatory course in school “Repercussions of Violence” showing the crying, the funerals, the devastation on the living, the grief and guilt of parents of killers.

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“people should not forget that it is an American right to own guns”

It was also once an American right to own other human beings.

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I don’t think it’s disrespectful to have posted the children’s pictures in a mural on Facebook first because the pictures are public & as much as it’s beyond tragic, I like knowing these children will not be faceless to the rest of the world. In time, when I can stand to, I’d like to see the pics of the children & continue to pray for their families. These were simply innocent, adorable children & brave staff members. I’ve had the conversation with my children & have done like most parents, held them close & relayed as much age-appropriate info. as I could mainly to include them in praying for them families & loved ones of those lost in this tragedy. I’ll remember & remind myself how Blessed we are & ask God to comfort their families with as much as they can receive (if any) at this time.

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One sick, deranged person was responsible for the horrific actions in Newtown, CT. He is to blame. By whatever means he wanted to do harm, it would have occured. Don’t blame the means, blame the person responsible. May God’s comfort, and the rest of the world who are praying, surround the grieving families.

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I am totally in favor of better laws for gun control. There also has to be a better way for mentally unstable people to get the help they need before they take their rage out on innocent people. I really like what DB said about how God was at the school that day. I completely agree. As others have said, there are just no words to express the sadness and horror of all this. I will pray for the families involved and thank God that my own children are safe and well.

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@ Chaos…ditto DB’s post @ 5:07 pm. I am tired of people thinking that to prove He is there/He cares God is supposed to act like Superman in a comic. That is He is supposed to step in a deflect the bullet. YET sometimes He does just that…a bullet that misses, a bullet that just grazes, and still nobody is willing to see Him in that?

@ DB, you said it very well. I will add that God was in Aiden, the 6 yo who grabbed his buddies and ran by the shooter. Aiden made sure his friends got out and they all ran to the road for help. God most certainly is in Robbie Parker, (I think he is Mormon, but they have not said), whose face in the blue t-shirt holding up his wife as they walked back from the fire station will be etched on my mind for years, and who has shown at every turn how to be a real father/husband/leader when such horror comes in.

I saw Craig Scott (survivor of Columbine who saw his best friends killed and lost his sister that day) on tv this weekend. He pointed out that when he lay on the ground pretending to be dead, he prayed and prayed. He went through anger and depression in the aftermath. You could even see the pain still etched on his face in the interview this weekend…God is in that man as he continues to live beyond Columbine. Did you see Katie’s interview with Daniel’s family? (Daniel died at Sandy Hook)…his older brother, James, broke my heart, saying Daniel was perfect. I would not be surprised if Craig Scott offered to talk with James…as he can really relate to what the kid is facing.

TWG, I get that it is painful. I get that it hurts. I am proud of you for talking to Walsh and Rose because I know that is hard for you. You want to shelter them, and we give you grief for wrapping them in bubble wrap. I am sure it was against some of your mothering dna to talk to them, but you did. My children saw way more of this coverage than any of the others in their life time.

They wanted to know if this was like 9/11 since the media tried to draw comparisons. I told them that 9/11 was something we had never before imagined, just like pearl harbor had been. That those days changed how we viewed ourselves as a Nation. That, yes, we had seen crazy people shoot up places for no reason, but never before had there been a secure building, and the targets been the youngest of children.

President Obama and Congress need to understand their role in all this too….Nancy Lanza was sure that our country was headed on the wrong path. She is NOT alone in that thinking…however nutty we think it. We need to start finding solutions to the economic issues, the divisions, and we need to stop apologizing for being American! President Obama said when he was sworn in he wanted to start the healing, but so far we have put iodine on gangrene!

The coffee is perked, the rooster is crowing, the alarm is going…..just why don’t we wake up?

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So Diane,

You believe taking someones picture without approval )under the age of consent at that) and using it for commerical purposes is perectly acceptable huh?
I take it you also support the paparazzi, the spring break photos of girls on video covers, etc.
You basically condone theft becuase it makes you feel better. Putz.
I bet if your children’s picutres were used without your permission you would be first in line demanding “changes to stop this”.

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I believe in more gun control but what does that mean? And how does that impact true criminals? I have no idea and have no idea what to ask of our legislators so I just leave that alone. My concern is mental health and mental illness.

A lot of you who know (of) me know that I have bipolar disorder so I have a special interest in mental health awareness and treatment. My concern is that there are children and adults that are not being diagnosed and treated BEFORE a tragedy occurs. Well, usually those involved in the tragedy usually die but it is not until a tragedy occurs that mental health is even discussed. That is unfair to the children and adults who can be helped if diagnosed and unfair to people around them who may be unsafe because they are untreated. Untreated, someone like me can be violent and aggressive and take many unnecessary risks. (Many other things as well but that is not the topic.) Suicide is not just a concern when a person with bipolar disorder is depressed but when he or she is manic as well. Who knows how and when other symptoms will manifest. And that is just bipolar disorder. There are MANY others.

I hope this tragedy does not make everyone paranoid but aware and make everyone pay attention to the children and adults around them so they can get help. I live a very full and successful life. I thank God for my pills, therapist, psychiastrist, and support system that pays attention to me to help me recognize if I’m “off”…and the self-awareness and lack of “pride” that allows me to get help when things are “off”. It has been a LONG and HARD row to hoe but it has been worth it. I tell as many people as I can so that others will not be embarrassed to get help, to encourage others to get help. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH SEEKING HELP!!!!! Please get yourself, your friends and family help if you need it. (I’m off my soapbox now)

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” Legislators act ” !
The legislators formed a committee to study guns in America. Who did they defer leadership to ? A veteran, gun owner & hunter elected to the Senate who is concerned that gun owners be treated fairly. What will this ” concerned ” group of law makers end up with after the show ? Better protections for gun owners.

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I like the comments of DB and FCM about how God was present in those children and adults at the school, and in their actions. You are a lot more compassionate than Mike Huckabee who seems to highlight and focus on the absence of God at the school.

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