Does your husband influence your vote?

I am wondering how much husbands, fathers, uncles or brothers influence positively or negatively the candidates for whom women vote?

My mother and father belong to different parties and usually they just don’t discuss politics. But one election year, my dad pressured my mother to vote for his candidate. He kept telling her that his business would fail if she voted for the wrong guy.

To this day, she talks about her regret in changing her vote.

On the flip side, I like discussing politics with my husband.  He is very well informed, and I always learn from our discussions.

Does your husband or any other man in your life influence your vote?

84 comments Add your comment

DB

October 25th, 2012
2:14 am

Influence? No. We exchange opinions and information, but neither he nor I have ever pressured the other to vote a certain way. My husband and my son are both very well-informed and more well-read than I am on nuances affecting some issues, and I will often discuss questions with either one. Usually their observations or thoughts end up sending me to do more research, which is a good thing.

gtmom

October 25th, 2012
6:21 am

We are both independants so we discuss pros and cons of all canidates all the way up to the election. Then, on election day, both my husband and I stop talking about it. We both go up and vote who we think is best. I have no idea who he voted for at the last Presidential election and I haven’t told him who I voted for. It works for us. I don’t think my husband influences my vote. I usually have no idea who he is pulling for when he discusses the strengths and weaknesses of each candidate.

gtmom

October 25th, 2012
6:21 am

Canidates = Candidates – wish we could edit our comments here!

catlady

October 25th, 2012
6:57 am

I like discussing politics with those I hold in respect. I like to listen to them. However, I do not go against my own decisions when voting–don’t take another person’s word. My former husband voted in ways quite similar to my own, as does my son.

What is fun is watching your kids grow up and develop their own ideas of “how it should be.”

catlady

October 25th, 2012
7:02 am

And, for a real thrill, sit back and watch them, as adults, discuss Important Things, defending or expounding on a point in a fast-paced round-table.

mom2alex&max

October 25th, 2012
7:30 am

C’mon Theresa, what kind of question is THAT?? Of course not! But if it he did, do you think anyone would say, oh golly, yes I just vote how my husband tells me to! Geez.

Tired

October 25th, 2012
7:52 am

We’re a bipartisan couple. On occasion we vote for the same candidate (but never for President or Governor). He’s intelligent, well-informed, and ethical – and I hope I am as well – but we have different ideas about government.

Roni

October 25th, 2012
7:55 am

I actually have several friends who say “I’m not really interested in politics, so I just vote the way my husband tells me to.” It drives me crazy! I’d rather hear someone say “I don’t vote.” At least that way you know they aren’t voting against their best interests. One particular friend has started to occasionally ask me about issues and will say things like “oh wow, now that I know about that, I’ve been voting the wrong way this whole time!” As for my husband and I, we come from polar opposite families politically, but we agree about 50% of the time, and we always hear each other out and make each other thing….but only occasionally do we actually influence each others’ votes. He proudly tells people that I’m the political expert!

Me

October 25th, 2012
8:01 am

Well, I will respond from the “husband” side of the equation – and no, I would never attempt to influence the manner of how my wife votes or “push” her toward one candidate over another. We are, however, generally on the same page. What we will disucss are items on the ballot not related to a particular candidate or elected position, i.e. amendments, etc. Some of these, as stated in a previous blog post, are difficult to understand so we discuss and research together and then make a decision; hopefully an informed one. I have neighbors and friends who feel and vote differently from me but, as I posted previously, as long as they know “why” they are voting for a candidate then fine by me. After all, when they vote opposite or differently from me it isn’t my fault they are wrong! :)

Quira

October 25th, 2012
8:03 am

Only a moron can’t tell the difference between influence and control. What kind of marriage would exert no influence on how I vote? Who do you think should influence me? Oprah? Beyonce or Joy Behar?
I just threw up a little in my mouth.

RJ

October 25th, 2012
8:05 am

My husband is a democrat and I’m independent, so he doesn’t influence me. We do talk about politics, but we rarely see eye to eye. He’s never tried to influence me anyway. We just have our own lively debates.

Me

October 25th, 2012
8:13 am

@Quira — Your first sentence, in my opinion, isn’t 100% accurate across the board. One person’s “influence” is another’s “control” — Perhaps you can easily distinguish this is your household, and I am glad, but in other households of which none of us have knowledge, there can easily be perceptions of “incluence” that equate to “control” and vice versa — So, I disagree with your “only a moron” statement.

FCM

October 25th, 2012
8:21 am

TWG Did you see The Middle last night? Axl was excited about his first time to vote. He did read up on the candidates including sheriff and city counsel. He went to talk to his parents about it and they admitted they only really pay attention to the “big” guys and knew how they were going to vote there. The parents then decided they were like “most” Americans.

That goes back to my comment (yesterday) about voting a party line. Check out the candidate and vote for the right person regardless of the party. Do the works.

Granted, Axl ended up supporting a candidate based on the guys name (Harry Butts). He told his sister that any person brave enough to have that name and then put it on posters all over town deserved a chance.

Politics has always been a part of my life. I remember watching Jimmy Carter and Gerald Ford debate. The influence my father had was to make sure if we did not agree with him, we had well thought reasons and facts to back the reasons. When my brother was in town we briefly discussed politics, but it turns out all the voters (5 of us) had the same candidate impressing. We all could however tell you key flaws the other candidates platform and those did differ.

One voter/one vote. So make it count.

Y'all do know, don't you...

October 25th, 2012
8:31 am

…that if you vote for different people for any position, that you are just cancelling out each others vote – so why vote? So much for “becoming one”…

And, no, my spouse does not control me nor influence my vote…hopefully, we are on the same page politically, just as we are on raising kids, finances, religion, etc…

Phil from Athens

October 25th, 2012
8:33 am

“To this day, she talks about her regret in changing her vote.

She must have voted for either Carter or Obama.

redandblack

October 25th, 2012
8:39 am

Short answer.. No.

FCM

October 25th, 2012
8:57 am

@ Phil from Athens, thank you I need that laugh today.

Techmom

October 25th, 2012
9:05 am

We don’t always agree but for the most part, our values and beliefs are in sync and therefore we tend to vote for the same candidates. He however has a much harder time not voting the party line whereas I could care less and regularly vote for people regardless of party (aside from the primaries of course). It’s not like every Dem. or every Rep. on the ballot got together and decided they were running as a team.

Judge Smails

October 25th, 2012
9:14 am

Is there an election going on?

motherjanegoose

October 25th, 2012
9:16 am

No. I do know someone whose husband is a life long union member and while she does not want to vote for Obama, she is saying she “has” to. This woman is a grandmother. Just passing on information.

mystery poster

October 25th, 2012
9:18 am

@FCM
ooh, I forgot all about The Middle last night, and it’s one of my favorites. I’ll have to catch it on Hulu.

To the topic at hand, my husband is a non-voter. It’s not an apathy thing, it’s more a protest thing. I don’t quite agree or understand it, but I always vote for whoever I think is the better choice.

I remember my MIL telling me, “he makes all the important decisions, like who we’re going to vote for…” I reminder her that it was one person, one vote.

Mayhem

October 25th, 2012
9:19 am

Do you influence your kids to vote a certain way?

Sally Sue

October 25th, 2012
9:21 am

I don’t pay attention to the news so I rely on my husband to sort out all the issues. We sit down at the kitchen table and he lets me know who to vote for and how to vote on referendums.

It’s very easy for me.

scrappy

October 25th, 2012
9:22 am

Ya’ll do know –
What, so if me and my husband have different views, one of us should stay home and not vote? That is ridiculous. How is it any different than knowing what your friend or neighbor will vote and then still voting as you please?
We can become one on many issues and in our lives together, that does not mean we have to believe the same on every issue. What is this, the 1950’s? Come on… I value my ability to vote and will not be sitting home on election day just because someone else’s vote may ‘cancel’ mine out.

Jeff

October 25th, 2012
9:41 am

I think “urging” another person to believe your line of thinking is natural, and, SHOCKER, happens in both directions when it comes to spouses, brothers, sisters, etc.

TWG, have you had any “pillow talk” in urging your husband to shift his line of thinking when it came to an issue that was important to you?

Mayhem

October 25th, 2012
9:45 am

I cannot stand The Middle. I cannot stand the woman who plays the lead role. I couldn’t stand her in Everybody Loves Raymond…..all she does is complain…..

Jeff

October 25th, 2012
9:48 am

Roni, why do you believe that if a woman votes the same as her husband that she is voting against her own best interest? Do you not think men and women have tons of issues that are mutual? Crime, jobs, safety, take-home pay, child-concerns, etc. Don’t both genders care about those?

GardenDiva

October 25th, 2012
9:51 am

My husband and I may discuss issues and candidates but there is never any pressure to vote a certain way. I do make it a point to seek out the opinions of my father-in-law because he is well-informed and thoughtful on political matters.

It IS very interesting to watch my younger son, who is eighteen, learn about the voting process and develop his own philosophy. The primaries. especially, led to a lot of research on positions held on various issues simply because there were many candidates.

Tired

October 25th, 2012
9:56 am

Also – I don’t tell anyone, including my husband, who I vote for. People who know me well know I’m almost always going to vote with the same party for President and Governor, but I keep the rest confidential.

As my mother has always said, “You vote in private for a reason.”

Mayhem

October 25th, 2012
10:12 am

I work with one of THE MOST obnoxious human beings EVER. He forces his political opinions down your throat, and will start screaming at you if you think any different than he does. He is a HUGE Ron Paul supporter and if you even mention the name of any other candidate, he just goes off on you. Very annoying. And it’s not just politics. If you disagree with ANYTHING that comes out of his mouth, he will let you know what an idiot you are.

I’ve learn to steer VERY clear of him. Period!

aon

October 25th, 2012
10:28 am

If my husband vents, I keep my mouth shut. If I vent, he keeps his mouth shut. We never vote for the same candidate. As far as being informed, my opinion is that it depends on your source of information. Unfortunately the mainstream media is very clear on who they think should be voted into office and they skew their coverage as such. My opinion is that this is a disservice to the young people who are new to the voting process and get their information only from the mainstream media. What really concerns me about this election is that there will be a large majority that will go to the poles and vote with absolutely no understanding of what is going on in this country.

Anna

October 25th, 2012
10:33 am

I’m old enough to remember that a woman’s opinion is that of her husband, and this is why I NO LONGER HAVE ONE! My opinion is the one that matters!

Jessica

October 25th, 2012
10:42 am

Of course he influences my vote, and I influence his.
We have a lot of concerns and values in common, so we usually agree when it comes to ‘big’ elections and issues, but we sometimes have different opinions when it comes to local elections or primaries. We talk about it, and there have been times when he has convinced me to change my mind, or the other way around. Honestly, I am more likely to be swayed by his opinion than by political ads or the activists who masquerade as journalists these days.

A

October 25th, 2012
10:44 am

What year is this? 1960? Of course hub doesn’t influence my vote, but thankfully we are on the same side of the political spectrum and vote the same anyway. Even if we weren’t, I wouldn’t be influenced by him or anyone else for that matter.

cobbmom

October 25th, 2012
10:48 am

When I was 18 I was in a discussion with a local politician. He was taken aback by my knowledge and understanding of the political system (read: he was stunned that I knew about his good ole boy connections). He actually had the nerve to ask me who my husband was, I answered I wasn’t married, he then asked who my father was, I replied that I worked and paid my taxes like a man and he would answer to me like he would answer to a man. It’s sad that 20 years later people assume a man needs to tell a woman how to vote or to explain politics to her.

momof2

October 25th, 2012
10:57 am

Influence? Yes. Pressure? No. Of course my husband influences my votes – as do others whom I respect and what I read and observe. And I influence his, as well. We are partners in our lives so our opinions matter to each other and we discuss them. We have similar values and common goals,, so we discuss how different candidates, referendums etc. will impact each of us. We don’t always vote the same way, but we do discuss it.

who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men

October 25th, 2012
11:04 am

“Does your husband or any other man in your life influence your vote….” why do I get the impression that if husband was replaced with “mom” or “sister” or any other woman influence your vote, there would be less insidiousness implied in the question. let’s face it, if your husband or any one else influences your vote to go against your education decision, then you’re probably the same type of voter who drives down your neighborhood street and votes based on which candidate has more yard flyers in your neighbor’s yard. If you can’t vote based upon your own educated reasoning….just don’t vote, you’ve basically acted in a way that is contrary to the spirit of voting in the first place.

who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men

October 25th, 2012
11:15 am

Oh….and by the way, I just checked my TV Guide and “My Husband Influenced My Vote” is the name of the original programming movie that will be playing on the Lifetime Movie Network the night before the election.

who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men

October 25th, 2012
11:19 am

Apparently it’s a based on real life events movie that stars Sally Struthers, Meredith Baxter Birney, Valerie Bertinelli, and Melissa Gilbert.

jarvis

October 25th, 2012
11:37 am

We don’t influence each other at all. My wife votes straight Republican on every ballot.
I’m a Libertarian, and my votes swing all over the place.

I will say though, that I haven’t voted for a Democrat since Clinton. The current Party is so left leaning that I can’t relate to much that they have to say; gay marrige being the only exception that comes to mind. Even that is because of fundamentally diverse reasons though. I believe that people should be able to do whatever they want as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone else, and the Democrats pander to gays.

I’ve voted for several Independents (Mostly Libertaraians), and many Repulicans, but to quote Bortz, “I love freedom entirely too much to be a Republican.”

jarvis

October 25th, 2012
11:41 am

@who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men, no Tori Spelling?

who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men

October 25th, 2012
11:55 am

@ jarvis……Tori almost made the short list!!!!

Becky

October 25th, 2012
12:08 pm

No, my husband does not influence my vote..Never has, never will…

@Mayhem..I feel your pain, I work with the female version…She knows everything about everything and will never admit to being wrong… Also, I owe you an apology on the topic about the kid in the car wreck..I didn’t know all the facts when I posted that I thought they were both ok.. So apology to you for not knowing..

JOD

October 25th, 2012
12:27 pm

Hubs is a die-hard liberal and I am an independent, so while we agree on some things, we don’t generally vote the same way. He totally gets into the debates and politics, and loves to debate with friends and family; it honestly makes me nauseous listening to pundits argue. I usually ban politics from family get togethers since Hubs is the only liberal. Makes for bad digestion at Thanksgiving.

Most of my voting the last couple of times (with the exception of President) has been geared toward unseating Incumbents due to the total boobery, especially in the House/Senate (GA and US).

Jessica

October 25th, 2012
12:35 pm

I don’t get it — why are some women so proud of the fact that their husbands don’t influence their votes (notice the word is influence, not dictate)? If you thought the guy was worth marrying in the first place, why would you want to announce to the rest of the world that you don’t give a crap about his opinion? My husband and I end up voting differently sometimes, but we at least listen to each other with an open mind.

Mayhem

October 25th, 2012
12:43 pm

@Becky – it’s all good my dear!!!! I read the 18 year old driver died of his injuries yesterday and the other boy, his cousin, is still in the hospital and may not live either. I cannot imagine how that father feels now, seeing how he bought his son’s death!! I cannot fathom buying an 18 year old a $200,000 car….I don’t care how much money the father has, or how good of a kid he was, or what kind of grades he got, making a purchase like that it beyond me!!!!. Now he has a funeral to plan.

catmom

October 25th, 2012
12:43 pm

Women can vote? I didn’t know that. My husband just tells me to shut up and get back in the kitchen where I belong.

xxx

October 25th, 2012
12:57 pm

I vote for the highest bidder, that way I always win.

JOD

October 25th, 2012
1:05 pm

Not to get totally off-topic here, but I would dearly love to see some outrage from conversatives and independents (especially from men) over the bombastic misogynist comments from some Republican men lately. It seems stupid that those running for re-election are opening their mouths about rape, abortion, women’s health care (instead of health care in general) etc., when they should be talking about the economy, jobs, and immigration. Then they ‘apologize’ and all is forgiven. Sorry, but it makes me nuts to hear this cr@p on the ‘news’ without an equally forceful and opposite reaction.

jarvis

October 25th, 2012
1:20 pm

@JOD, I don’t care about those issues, so I don’t care if a politician addresses them or not.