Do you let your kids attend youth programs at churches of other religions?
My 11-year-old daughter has been invited to a youth event at a Christian church out here. I have heard the name of the church a lot, but I’m not sure if I am comfortable with her going to the event because I don’t know where they stand and if they would put pressure on her about her own religious beliefs.
If we were still in Gwinnett, I would be very comfortable with her going to events at Cannon United Methodist or Grace Fellowship, just to name a few. Even though I am Catholic I know those churches fairly well and feel like she could enjoy the commonality in the religions and her religious beliefs would still be respected.
I grew up going to preschool and camp at First Baptist Church in Decatur even though on Sundays you would find my family down the road at St. Thomas More Catholic Church. (My mom was the accountant for the Baptist church.)
I taught VBS at First Baptist in middle school and went on Spring Break trips with the church’s youth.
I also attended Wednesday night services regularly with my best friend at Grace Fellowship Baptist. (This was when it was tiny but Pastor Buddy was there.)
There were only a few occasions over the years were I felt uncomfortable at churches of a different denomination. I never knew what to do with that saving business. Was I saved? I didn’t know how to answer because Catholics never talked about that. I do remember one girl – a friend of friend – telling me I was going to hell because I was Catholic. I just let that roll off my back. I didn’t think I was going to hell. And the only other time I felt uncomfortable was at one church’s softball game (not Grace or First Baptist). They made me sit in a hot car because I had on shorts – long shorts mind you but they were shorts. It was hot to be sitting in a car. (Sure would have been awful if I had died in the hot car because I was wearing shorts.)
I want my children to be able to enjoy going to church events with their friends and be strong enough in their own faith to learn about other faiths. But they are children, and I don’t want a pushy person hurting their feelings or telling them they are going to hell.
Do you let your children attend youth events at churches of other denominations? What about completely different religions? What would do you about this situation – would you let her go?
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66 comments Add your comment
ylojkt
September 22nd, 2012
10:44 am
My wife and I are atheists/non-theists and we are raising our three kids the same way, we have many talks about the nature of religion, the history of different faiths (amazingly, most religions are based on Greek mythology), specific dogma of different religions, etc.
These talks would have started at a much later age than they did, since the only difference my kids had from other kids was that they didn’t go to church or believe in a jesus/god character, but were forced to start in the first or second grade with all of them due to indoctrinated kids telling them they were going to hell if they didn’t believe in god/jesus. My kids all had no idea what to do with this type of condemnation at such a young age and were all upset by these actions, so the talks started very early.
On the other hand, we encourage them to learn as much as they can about each religion and to be friends to everyone, regardless of belief, as long as they are good people. I have allowed my sons to go to their friends youth services, and had one family try to convert my son by having him over every Saturday night for a sleepover so that they could take him to church in the morning. They were good friends of ours and thought they were doing the right thing; I would mention that Friday night was much better for us but it always had to be Saturday. My son just wanted to hang out with his buddy and eat donuts, drink cocoa, and cut up during the service. I finally had to tell them he could sleep over but that we would come pick him up before they left for church; explaining that it didn’t seem fair to their son that if they wanted him to believe what they were teaching him, he was not paying attention to the message and distracting others from it as well while my son was there for him to pal around with. They still think it was because we are closed minded regarding religion, but I assure you, I want their kids to listen to everything being said and try to understand it so that they can actually make their own informed choice when they get older. Nothing creates an atheist more than an extensive knowledge of religion and the bible.
Allgood
September 22nd, 2012
11:09 am
I remember sitting in my Baptist church as a child and hearing our pastor tell us that the Catholics wouldn’t be allowed into Heaven because they weren’t Baptists. I felt a brief anxiety as my young mind raced: What if the priests were telling Catholics the same thing about us? How would I know which church was the ‘right’ one? What if I picked the wrong one and ended up in Hell? The only logical conclusion I could come to was that my pastor didn’t know what he was talking about. I don’t believe that God isn’t sitting up in Heaven with a checklist to see if we went to the right church. Encourage your kids to explore all religions and decide for themselves what they believe to be true. Anything less is simply indoctrination.
Allgood
September 22nd, 2012
11:11 am
Please forgive my editorial oversight. I meant to say that I don’t believe God *is* sitting up in Heaven with a checklist to see if we went to the right church.
Hmmmmmmm
September 22nd, 2012
11:46 am
Only if they had Snakes….
Hmmmmmmm
September 22nd, 2012
11:48 am
Your right Allgood, but he does care about what you believe… Most churches run more people away than they keep… Kinda sad, really…
Hmmmmmmm
September 22nd, 2012
11:52 am
@ylojkt
Nothing creates an atheist more than an extensive knowledge of religion and the bible.
No, nothing creates an atheist more than ignorance of the bible and a closed mind…
Denise
September 22nd, 2012
12:20 pm
Hmmmmmm…..you’re right about that. The worst thing about church is church people. That is how folks get turned OFF religion. It’s sad, isn’t it?
Dunwoodian
September 22nd, 2012
1:51 pm
Hmmmmmm….
Tomorrow is Sunday, the Sabbath. You are not ignorant of the Bible apparently.
Six days may work be done; but on the seventh is the sabbath of rest, holy to the LORD: whosoever does any work on the sabbath day, he shall surely be put to death. Exodus 31:15, King James Version.
Do you believe this should be followed?
catlady
September 22nd, 2012
4:37 pm
Actually, Dunwoodian, Sabath is Saturday (Friday sundown to Saturday sundown.) The seventh day of the week is Saturday. Sunday is the first day of the week. The Pope changed the day of worship.
Right as rein
September 23rd, 2012
8:42 am
I did not have the exact same experience as Vee, but completely agree that some of those kids from STRICT baptist upbringings were the ones who really bent the other way when they were free at college. They might not like to drink but boy did those girls liked to get freaky in those UGA bunkbeds. Myers Hall 2C, F87-S89.
Children should be exposed to other religions, but certainly not be pressured or told they were going to hell. That just shows the intolerance of the _leader_ who says it.
motherjanegoose
September 23rd, 2012
8:43 am
catlady, thanks for the clarification…I said to myself…huh? when I read that. Denise…yes, people are not perfect and when they say one thing and do another it is frustrating. Some folks falsely assume that those who walk into a church are better than everyone else. Not true. They are simply trying to figure out how to live a better life but it is just as hard for them as the non church attenders. We all mess us sometimes.
Biker Chick
September 23rd, 2012
12:58 pm
When I was a child (many years ago), all the Catholic children were allowed to leave public school early on Wednesdays to attend Catechism classes at the church. My father, a southern baptist, asked the principal if our church started Wednesday afternoon bible classes, if we would be allowed the same early release. The answer was “yes”, so we and several other denominations started Wed. classes for kids. At one point, all of the churches organized a “swap” one Wednesday and we were allowed to visit one of the other churches. I chose a Catholic church because one of my school mates went there. The questions they had for me were priceless..i.e,”is it true that they put salt in your mouth when you are baptised?” I learned some things too, that supposedly, every Sunday, the priests turned grape juice into wine (wow, a miracle every Sunday!). It’s amazing the misconceptions that children have even if they have been raised in a church. That said, it was very enlightening for me. I highly recommend that you allow your children to experience different faiths.
I recently took my teenagers to the big Hindu temple in Lilburn. We were allowed to self-tour the temple and it was amazing to see the beauty and to learn about the practice of their faith. I also recommend taking your kids to do this. You will also learn something yourself, as I did.
Many faiths have differences, but they also have commonalities. Learning about those commonalities is what helps us to be tolerant of the differences. Also, I can tell you that ignorance and judgmental behavior knows no boundaries. A few years ago, I attended a dinner meeting at the home of a friend. It was a “home meeting” of an Episcopal church. As the daughter of a southern baptist minister (they did not know this), it was mortifying to sit there and listen to some of the group snicker and laugh about “those evangelicals” and how ignorant we supposedly were. It was only because I did not want to embarrass or dishonor my host, that I didn’t stand up and call them out. I suffered in silence but I never went back to that church again. I’m now a practicing Methodist and choose to worship with people who don’t look down on other religions because at the end of it all, I think we will be very surprised to see who ends up in heaven and equally as surprised to see who doesn’t.
citizen
September 23rd, 2012
6:39 pm
Coming in late to this game, but wanted to share a great book for iRun’s child to read on Sunday, it is be Lee Strobel and is kids’ book, The Case for a Creator for Kids. Lee Strobel understands what your family is dealing with and I highly recommend it.
M.E.
September 23rd, 2012
10:55 pm
Like Vee, safety is my only issue. My kids have gone to all kinds of churches and faith rituals. We always discuss them and attend a church that encourages discussion of all faiths and doctrines in a respectful manner. I never thought about safety until we attended a youth program where the youth pastor promoted hazing and belittling of youth members by their peers, and never followed the church safety procedures. Because of that experience, the kids and I discuss safety in youth programming thoroughly, too.
catlady
September 25th, 2012
12:47 pm
I just thought of one other thing: My grandparents, pillars of the Baptist church in their small town, made all their 9 children be there at their church every time the door was opened. No visiting with other churches.
Of their 8 children who lived to adulthood, only one remained Baptist. The others were Church of Christ, Methodist, Presbyterian, and one aunt became one of the early Episcopal priests!
When that aunt went to preach a “try out” sermon at a small Episcopal church in North Georgia, she felt that she needed to give a bit of her background. She confessed that she had been raised in the Baptist church, and someone called out from the back, “So were most of us!”
catlady
September 25th, 2012
12:48 pm
I should have said one of the early FEMALE Episcopal priests.