Parents’ top concern for their kids: Lack of exercise

The University of Michigan C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital found in a recent survey that parents’ top concern for their kids is lack of exercise.

Thirty-nine percent rated insufficient exercise at the top of the list.

From UPI:

“Childhood obesity was ranked second at 37 percent, followed by smoking and tobacco use at 34 percent, drug abuse at 33 percent, bullying at 29 percent, stress at 27 percent, alcohol abuse at 23 percent, teen pregnancy at 23 percent, Internet safety at 22 percent and child abuse and neglect at 20 percent.

“Childhood obesity remains a top concern, and adults know it is certainly linked to lack of exercise,” Dr. Matthew M. Davis, director of the C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital National Poll on Children’s Health, said in a statement.”

“Hispanic adults were more likely to rate childhood obesity first at 44 percent, followed by not enough exercise at 38 percent, and also rated drug abuse higher than smoking and tobacco use. Black adults had higher levels of concern about smoking and tobacco use at 43 percent and they ranked racial inequality at seventh and gun-related injuries ninth.”

My children are not heavy but I absolutely worry that they don’t get enough exercise. It’s especially hard when it’s so hot out.  Rose was doing swim team all last year and Walsh joined her this summer. They are both doing swim team this fall and when they swim, Lilina and I swim as well. Swim team guarantees they are swimming at least two miles a week. We try to swim after school on their off days. Lilina is dying to get back to the playground but it’s still too hot.

Is lack of exercise a big concern for you? What is your top concern for your kids?

52 comments Add your comment

El Mongol

August 22nd, 2012
1:39 am

No, our kids are very active sometimes I worry they are too active. Both have experienced injuries and complain of pains in their knees and backs that you don’t expect in a child.

My biggest fear is one of them getting pregnant before they finish school.

shaggy

August 22nd, 2012
6:38 am

Any parent that is “concerned” about their kid’s physical activity, need to look no further than the nearest mirror to see the object of their concern.
What is so insane is that they don’t already know and accept that responsibility.

Van Jones

August 22nd, 2012
7:23 am

“…the nearest mirror …” Amen shaggy, amen.

RJ

August 22nd, 2012
8:08 am

I’m with Shaggy. How in the world is that their biggest concern? My kids get lots of exercise. Organized sports, playing outside, riding bikes, taking dance, whew!

Augusta

August 22nd, 2012
8:10 am

I was thinking about the breakfast topic last night, and now this.

I think what is happening, is parents are sacrificing their children. Literally. There’s not enough time to feed them in the mornings….I think that is so sad. MAKE TIME TO FEED YOUR CHILD.

We put too much pressure on ourselves to be perfect to others. we sacrifice our children, but have time to take care of ourselves in the morning to get to work. We rush the kids out of the house, send them to school without food in their bellies, and then we run off to work. We work 8-16 hours a day, then come home, and have to shuttle the kids to sporting events, get the homework completed, baths, dinner, etc. People don’t make the time to take care of their children. Plan and simple.

I on the other hand, sacrificed my career for my children and my family. I could be working downtown, probably making $10-15,000 more than I do. BUT, my children are much more important. I settled for a career where I don’t make a lot of money, but I’m home every day with my kids. I get to work from home, and that to me is a perk.

I make breakfast for my kids every morning. I pack their lunches. I have snack for them when they get home, and they don’t come home to an empty house. We all pitch in to cook dinner.

And if your children are obese, Shaggy is correct, just look in the closet mirror and therein lies the problem. You don’t have time.

Make the time people. These kids are the most important things in our lives. We need to be there, to parent them, to teach them right from wrong. To instill values and morals into them, so when we release them into society, they can function.

My kids have chores. My kids all know how to cook, do their laundry, work in the yard, etc. They must do these chores to get rewards. We don’t have handheld games, we don’t have 15 tvs in the house, we don’t have 15 computers. What we have is family time.

So quit sacrificing your children. You may not see it now, but the future rewards are so worth it.

K's Mom

August 22nd, 2012
8:27 am

I am with shaggy and augusta. This something I just do not get. I am still a fairly new mom and my oldest is not in school yet, but he is constant movement and activity. We go outside and he runs and plays until his sweets cheeks are pink. His newest thing is grabbing my hands and saying dance, so we dance around our family room. At preschool, they run and play. If kids are not moving it is the fault of their parents and no one else…

homeschooler

August 22nd, 2012
8:48 am

My husband came home yesterday after working at a neighborhood in Milton. He said there were 30 cars at the front of the neighborhood waiting to pick up kids getting off the bus. He said the home that sat the farthest away from the bus stop was probably a mile. Sure a mile is a long way to walk, especially with a heavy backpack but what great, daily, exercise. My husband was saying that walking home was his favorite part of the day in school. Social interaction without parents or teachers breathing down your neck. He was really feeling sorry for those kids

Dennis

August 22nd, 2012
9:08 am

It’s very much reflective of parents concerns about themselves.

Exercise doesn’t have to be purposeful (running for the purpose of getting exercise). Next time you are looking for an activity with your kids, find a short hike to take. Do a walking tour instead of riding a bus.

Both of my kids play soccer, but that’s 2-3 days a week for 90 minutes. That leaves a lot of hours in the week to engage with them and do something together, or encourage them to find a friend and go outside!

I’d argue that sleep problems are probably a lurking health problem that underwrite many of the other health trends in kids – obesity and poor health overall. Between early school hours and attachment to television and video games, there’s a lot to affect quantity and quality of sleep.

Athens

August 22nd, 2012
9:36 am

Whoo, Augusta, you must be the best mom in the world telling other people how to parent. The truth is that I think you have several valid points, but the fact is that by bossing the other parents in your life you are not encouraging them and building them up in their roll as a parent- you’re tearing them down. Parenting is tough and while it’s definitely a priority, it requires strength and patience, things that don’t always come so easily. Honestly you’re lucky to work from home, but maybe you could brainstorm some ideas on how to support some of the families you know who aren’t so fortunate instead of ripping on them for their weaknesses.

HB

August 22nd, 2012
10:03 am

It really can be difficult keeping kids active in extreme heat — good luck with that, Theresa. When I was babysitting in south Georgia with 95+ degree temps and nearly 100% humidity, it was hard to be active with the kids in July and August. After 9:30 or 10am, it was just miserable outside some summers. By late July, it was often too hot even to swim (if you were lucky enough to have access to a pool) — water temps were over 90 degrees! We’d ride bikes or run around and play early and late, but from 10am to 6 or 7pm, it was too hot to do anything outside other than sit in the shade, and our town didn’t have indoor playplaces or pools.

Techmom

August 22nd, 2012
10:10 am

Lack of exercise is definitely not a health concern of mine for my son. Some days I wish he would focus a little more on his school work than exercise quite frankly!

Techmom

August 22nd, 2012
10:17 am

I grew up in Las Vegas and then moved to S. Florida and then to S. Ga… always HOT places and it never really stopped us from playing outside, riding bikes, playing in the sprinkler, etc. Sure you may want to slather them with sunscreen and put on a hat and make sure they are hydrated but the heat shouldn’t stop them completely.

Denise

August 22nd, 2012
10:19 am

Every child is different – some more active than others by nature. Some are going to like hiking, swimming, biking, etc. and others are going to enjoy being inside reading, listening to music, or playing an instrument. That doesn’t mean the second child is going to be lazy, unhealthy, or fat. I hated to be outside so I picked indoor sports (tried baseball but I sucked…plus it was outside in the Louisiana heat).

I was at my brother’s house for the 4th of July and the best time I had was when my 4-year-old niece made me dance to about 5 songs in a row with her. If it was a slow song, we did “ballet”; if it was fast, we had to wiggle around, jump, and kick. Not “exercise” but we were definitely active and I sure was tired. I needed a nap and she wanted to dance to some more songs. I told her to go find her daddy while I crawled to the kitchen for water. :-)

[...] Parents Top concern…… [...]

LaZeeee

August 22nd, 2012
10:24 am

Excuses, excuses….it’s too hot to play outside. It’s too cold to play outside. I can’t take my eyes off my kids to allow them to go outside. there’s peophiles on every corner waiting to take MY child…….

It’s much safer to stay inside and play violent video games. Or watch tv. So we’ll just let Johnny sit all day long……Give him a coke and some chips……I’m sure he’s hungry….but I can’t be bothered to cook. God forbid Johnny lift a finger and pick up after himself, oh well, just let it lay where it is……I have to go get my nails done. I have a tennis game at noon then lunch with the ladies. Whew I’m exhausted already. My husband works 13 hours a day and has a 2 hour commute. I just don’t have time for all this nonsense.

MEG

August 22nd, 2012
10:35 am

To Augusta … I just returned (not by choice) to full-time work after being part-time for six years. Working from home is my new goal for my family. What do you do from home? I’m willing to sacrifice income for more time with the children.

Deanna

August 22nd, 2012
11:05 am

Too hot? Seriously?

Scooby

August 22nd, 2012
11:10 am

Hasn’t this already been discussed to death?

LaZeeee

August 22nd, 2012
11:23 am

@MEG – I basically run an office, off-site. I do purchasing, some research, sales, bookkeeping, and logistics. I usually have to go into the office once or twice a month, which is not very far from my house. Good luck!!

Once Again

August 22nd, 2012
11:56 am

Apparently the several hundred thousand dollars worth of Federal debt they are all born with doesn’t even make the list. Obesity and lack of exercise is certainly a problem, but the massive unsustainable debt, collapsing dollar, non-stop warmongering, ever-growing police state, declining civil liberties and rampant disregard for the citizens by government at all levels should at least be on someone’s radar. But clearly the results of the recent presidential and state primaries clearly shows that americans still want a lot more of the same – otherwise Romney and Obama would not be the prospective nominees of their parties.

Sarah

August 22nd, 2012
12:02 pm

I agree with Augusta. I think being a good parent is a choice. Parents know when they come home and feed their kids that daily soda or comfort food while they veg in front of their favorite show, that they are being bad parents. But they rationalize it because they are too tired. Sad. I quit my “dream” job downtown to stay at home. MAJOR sacrifices were made. We are all happier for it. My kids play sports, ride bikes, jump in our trampoline daily. All of it is a choice.

Tiger Ochocinco Cougar Mellencamp Johnson

August 22nd, 2012
12:12 pm

@Augusta…..nice sanctimonious rant there. Do us a favor and don’t paint those of us who HAVE figured out how to have healthy, balanced home and professional lives as “sacrificing” our children simply because you had to “sacrifice” your own goals and aspirations for your children.

You may not see this now…but you will later, if you lay that “after all I’ve done for you” rap on them as much as you did here to us today, you’re going to find that they are just going to tell you that every time you don’t feel appreciated for all your “sacrifices” for them, you should just nail yourself to a cross.

ok Oprah..

August 22nd, 2012
12:26 pm

Stop babying these kids. It did mot matter how hot it was in 1980 when I was 10, we still went outside and played. Enough with this its Mcdonalds fault, its cokes fault its candy fault! Get the kids off the darn sofa playing games and get them outside period! Quit this namby-pamby stuff be a dang parent not their friend and make them do somehting besides playing video games and texting all day.

Becky

August 22nd, 2012
12:27 pm

I don’t have to worry about the boy that much, he rides his bicycle every night with Poppy for about an hour, then he comes in and works on his “abs”..He is always running around doing something..The girl on the other hand is not as active..I still make her do some walking each night..

@Augusta..I work a full time job and still manage to cook breakfast for the kids, cook dinner, monitor their homework and pack lunches (if they take lunch)..I sit and read to the girl every night while she takes a bath…I help the boy with “projects” that he makes up..My two help with dinner planning and cooking (some times)..They also don’t come home to an empty house..They might have to do that soon though a couple of days per month..They are 10 though, so I don’t think that it will hurt them for about and hour or so to be alone..Not every Mom (or Dad) that works is putting their child on the back burner..

Tiger Ochocinco Cougar Mellencamp Johnson

August 22nd, 2012
12:29 pm

@Sarah and Augusta….why is it, in your eyes, that if both parents work out of the home then the following assumptions are automatically being played out:

We don’t make our children breakfast and they go to school hungry
Our children come home to empty houses
We don’t play with them after school and work
We don’t spend time with them
We don’t instill values in them
Our children are less important to us than our professions

Those are all the things that Augusta pointed out in her rant that she does do because she works from home that apparently those of who do not work from home can’t do.

We working parents apparently also “have to shuttle the kids to sporting events, get the homework completed, baths, dinner, etc”. So do you NOT have to take your kids to sporting events or have them do their homework or bathe?

And because we work so much of course we “have handheld games……15 tvs in the house, 15 computers.”

Do you honestly see everyone else as living those lives simply because they chose to work and you didn’t.

motherjanegoose

August 22nd, 2012
12:30 pm

A picture of my Aunt and Uncle, holding a jump rope with their grandkids, showed up on my Facebook. They are nearly in their 70’s. I loved it. Their Grandchildren are under age 10.
Would that my parents played with my children when they were small.

Balance is the key…I know parents who do everything for their kids and then wake up one day wondering what happened to their life. I also know parents who did almost nothing for their kids and wonder what happened to their kids. There is no one size fits all. I believe children should move out to college and live away from home, as they learn a lot. That worked for me and my children. We have relatives whose children lived at home during college and now ( approaching 30) they still live at home. That works for them! I also believe adult children should have at least a part time job. Not everyone does. I can tell you what works for me ( and I have) but everyone is different!

We are not extreme exercisers here. I do walk my dog around the neighborhood and hop around in schools all day. Often, at my workshops, teachers tell me that they cannot keep up with me. They are exhausted. This makes me laugh as I am sometimes twice as old as them.

My kids played outside when they were small and really all the way into middle school. They also played sports and we have a pool in our neigborhood. My daughter ran a 5k ( in the spring) at college and my son works out in the gym at his apartment.

Many schools have cut recess and this may be one of the few times kids can have free social time outside…sad…to me.

Some parents, I see, forget that having a child makes you a parent. You do, at some point, have to put your own wants and needs on the back burner…not always but sometimes. If you have done a good job, they will be successful adults who have jobs and make contributions to society. I am nearly on the last chapter with my son and getting closer with my daughter. I do not have all the answers but I do have some…haha!

Augusta

August 22nd, 2012
12:31 pm

Geez, got a lot of hate for making the decisions to RAISE MY FAMILY my way, and not to bow down to the masses. We all make decisions. My decision was to be there for my family. My husband and I talked about it in great length. Family is #1 in my world. My husband and I work very hard to make the family our number 1 priority, and to be there for our kids. I can get another job, car, house, etc. but I cannot get another family.

We chose to have 4 kids. We chose to raise those 4 kids, doing what works for us. Not one of my kids has ever seen the inside of a day care. Not one of my kids has ever come home from school to an empty house. I don’t really care what anyone thinks. It’s MY life, MY family, and I’ll do it MY way thank you very much.

While you are busy judging my life, the skeletons are falling out of your closet.

Tiger Ochocinco Cougar Mellencamp Johnson

August 22nd, 2012
12:32 pm

“because they chose to work outside the home”….I get that you work…you just do it more effeciently, intelligently, and morally than the rest of us who don’t work from the home.

Tiger Ochocinco Cougar Mellencamp Johnson

August 22nd, 2012
12:36 pm

Augusta….I’m not judging you for your choices…..I’m judging you for telling me that your choices are the only possible choices that one can make without “sacrificing” their children for the almighty dollar.

Tiger Ochocinco Cougar Mellencamp Johnson

August 22nd, 2012
12:49 pm

Seriously Augusta…I chose to have one child..you chose 4.

How would you feel if I made the contention that you totally sacrificed the amount of quality parent time you could spend with your kids in order to have 4 children.

What if I surmised that your decision was very selfish compared to my decision because I have plenty of time to really focus all my efforts on my one child and there was just no way you would ever have the time that I have to be able to provide the quality parenting to all four of yours that I can provide to my one.

And what if I said it wasn’t just YOU who couldn’t parent at effectively as I could, but ALL parents with multiple children. I have a feeling you’d take offense to that notion…and you should…because blanket comments and beliefs that like that one are just as silly and illogical as the premise you made here today.

Techmom

August 22nd, 2012
1:09 pm

I think Augusta’s point was missed b/c she was on her soapbox. Ultimately most of us on this blog agree with her point; put your family & children first, not yourself or your career. Unfortunately HOW to do that is not always easy or possible the same way Augusta has been able to do it.

I am absolutely thankful that I have been blessed to be able to work from home for the past 8 years. Sure there are days when I wish I could work in an office and ‘leave work at work’ when it’s time to go home or go to lunch with friends, or I’m disappointed when someone else gets a promotion and I don’t because they are more ‘visible’ (yes, there are downsides to working from home) but then I simply remind myself of all the benefits I have enjoyed and there is no doubt that I have blessed with the ability to have a career AND be present to raise my son. And if I’m really in doubt, all I have to do is turn the radio on and listen to the traffic reports!

It’s not possible for everyone to have a parent work from home, or not work at all, and quite frankly, I know plenty of stay at home moms who are more selfish than working ones, but there are parents who choose not to be the best parent they can be for their children simply because it’s easier. THAT is the bigger issue.

Techmom

August 22nd, 2012
1:14 pm

@Once Again – the survey asked parents about HEALTH concerns, not concerns in general so no, the Federal Deficit was not one of the options.

motherjanegoose

August 22nd, 2012
1:20 pm

Um…everyone has skeletons….

There are plenty of kids who come from homes where both parents work outside the home and the kids are well rounded. There are also kids who have one or two parents at home that have never worked and there are so many problems we do not have time to discuss them.

My husband had 3 siblings. I had 2. We have two children and we are both good with it. Mine have been to childcare and have come home to an empty house at times. Mine have even woke up with no parent in the house and they had to get themselves ready for school. This was when one was in HS and one in MS. They are both repsonsible young adults. We did what worked for us. Again, there is no magic book to give the directions ONE SIZE FITS ALL.

Choosing to be a good parent is NOT about simply choosing to have someone at home all the time or giving up their career. I see lots of children, lots of parents and lots of ways to make it work.

DB

August 22nd, 2012
1:39 pm

@Augusta: From one woman who became a SAHM to another: You are coming across as a little (ok, a LOT) sanctimonius when you deliver the self-congratulatory epistle that you did at 8:10 am. It works for you. FINE. But you aren’t everyone, and while every SAHM (or SAHD) is generally making some sort of economic sacrifice, your superior attitude is pretty obnoxious as you take it on yourself to decide what is best for ALL families on the basis of your own family’s needs. For the record, I, too, stayed home when my children were born. I gave up a HELL of a job to do so, but that was MY choice, and I sure didn’t spend the next 20 years trying to justify it.

T. puts herself out on this blog — a LOT. How many of us would be willing to put ourselves up to a public microscrope where everyone has a different opinon on how she should be raising her kids, caring for her home, organizing her work, etc.? NOT ME. She’s not here for affirmation — she’s here and created a community for people to share their lives with their kids, the ups and the downs, the challenges and the rewards. I’m as guilty as anyone sometimes of picking on her, but I found your rant that basically said, “I’m perfect and YOU’RE NOT” to be offensive, not to mention rude to our hostess.

FCM

August 22nd, 2012
1:50 pm

@ Shaggy…I know a few overweight parents, including myself, that are not concerned about lack of exercise for their kids. Nor are our kids overweight let alone obese.

In fact one child is underweight…and we have been over this numerous times on the blog.

Anyway, if you are concerned turn off the tv…kick the kid outside in the yard. Do not be such a worrier about them. Kids fall down, they get bumps, bruises, cuts…and occassionally a trip to the emergency room (mine broke her arm once jumping off a slide at daycare). It is part of growing up to learn…and mistakes can be learned from too. Obviously you don’t want them to go to the emergency room, so you try to stop those. But then my brother was playing tag, fell, cut open his knee on a rock and took 10 stitches to close up. It does happen.

As a family starting doing stuff…even chores….chores count toward weight watcher points so they must be exercise and not just well, chores.

FCM

August 22nd, 2012
1:57 pm

@DB…sometimes she is here for affirmation….but then sometimes I am too. I agree that TWG is putting herself/family out there. I appreciate it b/c it gets the dialogue going.

I get where your cominng from about Augusta too. She makes breakfast for her kids, but mine feel empowered to make their own. They are great to watch, b/c one makes awesome omlettes and the other will work on toast or something. They packed their own lunches for camp. There are trade-offs to every family…and what is working for Augusta would not work for me. And I totally agree her holier than though thing is tough to swallow sometimes, but like MJG likes to say…we don’t have to read [Augusta's] entry if we don’t want too.

Augusta

August 22nd, 2012
2:04 pm

Based on the negative comments towards me and my parenting style, I’d say there’s an awful lot of jealousy here today. When people band together to insult another, it’s 90% jealousy, and a way of taking your mind off your own problems for a while.

It works for us, and quite honestly I don’t care what any of you people think. If you want to think I’m uppity, then go right ahead. You comments do not upset me nor do they offend me. Chances are I will never meet any of you face to face. But I will NOT defend my choices, and my parenting skills to any of you.

Obviously I hit several nerves, which means I speak the truth and some people just cannot handle the truth.

FCM

August 22nd, 2012
2:07 pm

Actually speaking for myself it is intolerance for narrow minded people.

But then I am libertarian so it not likely I see a one size fits all view.

DB

August 22nd, 2012
2:08 pm

To the topic: I know that air conditioning was a huge boon to the world, enough so that the John Gorrie has his own statue at the U.S. Capitol, and Willis Carrier is synonymous with air conditioning. But I have to wonder if it was a double-edged sword. No one ever worried that it was too hot for kids to play outside before air conditioning — heck, my schools didn’t have A/C until I got to junior high, and you better believe that we had recess (the teaches insisted!) My grandparents didn’t have A/C, and I spent summers on their farm feeding chickens, helping out in the garden, hunting for blackberries, playing by the creek, etc., etc.. Even at home (the first two homes I remember living in) we didn’t have A/C, during the summer, I and all my friends were shooed outside to “play in the fresh air” in the hot Southern summers — we climbed trees, skated up and down the sidewalks, and rode our bikes EVERYWHERE — especially up to the corner 7-11 for a cooling Slurpee! I’m trying to figure out just where the tipping point went from paying outside all day long to only playing outside under limited circumstances. Was it TV? Computers? A/C? Fear for children’s safety? I don’t know. But I think we lost something vital, and people’s tolerance to heat isn’t nearly what it was.

jmb

August 22nd, 2012
2:27 pm

DB – very well said. Not sure I could have put it so elequantly because this is not the first time Augusta has come accross that way. I just chalked it up to “well good for her, her life is perfect” but we all know in the real world, this is not the case. At times (not many) I feel like mine is perfect and other times I feel like I have the worst but it’s all in the way we handle the many obstacles that get thrown in our paths. If she feels that way, cheers…she’s a very happy person although my guess would be she has as many issues as any of us do but she chooses to hide that side of her life on this blog.

DB

August 22nd, 2012
2:30 pm

@Augusta: You don’t get it. NO ONE IS CRITICIZING YOUR PARENTING STYLE. Who the hell are we to criticize your choices? What we ARE taking exception to is your continued insistence that yours is the ONLY way to raise a family, and the not-so-subtle putdowns of other lifestyles. Skeletons? Oh, puh-leeze. Hell, I was a SAHM, and even I found your smug recital of your many virtues to be nauseating. I, too, stayed at home. But my husband stayed home, too — so does that make me only half as good a parent, because I didn’t do it all? Or does that make us twice as good, because BOTH of us were hands-on at home parents? Don’t you see? These comparisons are no-win scenarios and are true dialogue-killers.

@FCM: I know I could choose not to read, but sometimes you are scanning a blog and don’t realize that you’ve been sucked into a really obnoxious rant until you are half-way through it. It’s odd, because as women who both choose to stay at home, she and I probably have more in common than we have differences.

Tiger Ochocinco Cougar Mellencamp Johnson

August 22nd, 2012
2:33 pm

My God Augusta…how narcissistic are you? You raise the voice of dissent and everyone is supposed to have some sort of epiphany and realize that choices that deviated from the ones you made were sacrificing their children’s welfare. But when anyone raised the voice of dissent against that opinion, we’re all just jealous of your lifestyle to the point that we can’t think objectively.

“But I will NOT defend my choices, and my parenting skills to any of you”….you know what….not ONE person criticized your choice on how to parent your children. Seriously…look back, read the post, you were never criticized ONCE for how you live your life. You were criticized for making the choice to insinuate in your post that you were doing it the “right” way and everyone else who made choices you would not have made was doing a disservice to their children. Surely you have to see that. That’s the ONLY thing people have criticized you for.

Tiger Ochocinco Cougar Mellencamp Johnson

August 22nd, 2012
2:40 pm

Augusta: “Obviously I hit several nerves, which means I speak the truth and some people just cannot handle the truth”….

So by that logic, if someone were to offend me by saying that segregation was a good policy and I explode in criticism…then they’ve just spoke the truth and it hit a nerve and I can’t handle the truth. The funny thing is there is another reason opinions hit nerves with people…and that is those opinions are so full of garbage that they demand rebuttal. Your opinion today falls in the latter category.

motherjanegoose

August 22nd, 2012
3:17 pm

@ Augusta…jealous…not much! I HAVE met several on this blog and while we will never see eye to eye on everything, it has been fun to learn new things and gain a new perspective. For the record, DB and I are probably two here today that can give the long and short version. We have kids approaching the finish line. If BlondeHoney pops in , lakerat and catlady too ..we all have different verses to the same song: parenthood. I am sure there are others that I have missed.

No need to defend yourself. If you are happy with your choices then that is all that matters. Others here are happy with their choices too. Those of us with older children may perhaps have a few more tips. I know that I have checked in with DB and catlady about college things I do not know. It has helped me to have sound advice from someone who very well knows more than I do about something.

“You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”

NO ONE has the answers to everything and anyone who thinks they do…have a nice day.

I simply see a lot of different children and families and so I can typically share ideas that appear successful. You will rarely see me with a solid point on a technology topic as that is not something I know a twit about. I always tell my clients, ” I know a lot about children and families but I am not perfect…just ask my own two kids!”

traci

August 22nd, 2012
4:07 pm

We’re going to go home tonight and pout because we’re jealous of Augusta. Yeah, right lol

Becky

August 22nd, 2012
4:17 pm

No jealousy here..Just difference of opinion..If be a SAHM works for you, go for it..I just know that I have 1 sister that was a SAHM for her 3 daughters and devoted all that time to doing things for them and blah, blah..The 2 oldest live less than 2 miles away from her now and she’s lucky if she sees them 2-3 times per month..The baby lives about 3 hours away and might go see her once a month and only calls her about 3 times per month..So being a super duper stay at home Mom can sometimes back fire on you..

Another sister has twin boys and a daughter..She only worked weekends so that she could stay at home during the week with them, while the husband worked..Their kids were involved in all sorts of activities and took family vacations each year..Now one of the boys live about 3 miles form her and she has to call him to visit, the other son is in the Air Force and she’s lucky to hear from him once or twice a year..The daughter is the only one that stays in touch with her on a regular basis..

So again, if what others do makes them happy and it works for them, feel free to keep doing it, jsut don’t make it out that this is the only way to have a family…

DB

August 22nd, 2012
4:39 pm

@Becky: That’s another interesting blog topic by itself: “How often is enough/too much for adult children to communicate with parents?” I talk to my mom about once a week, to my MIL about twice a month or so. My daughter calls me about every other day, sometimes daily if she can’t figure out how to cook something:-). I seldom call her, because she NEVER answers it when I call — but will usually call back later when she’s free. If it’s something I need from her, or just a quick something to share, I usually text. My son may call about twice a month or so, but I IM with him amost every day for a few minutes. So, when I read your description of “only calls about 3 times per month”, I thought, “OK . . . is that so bad?”

motherjanegoose

August 22nd, 2012
4:52 pm

@ DB…yes I believe it is different with girls and boys. Not sure when the last time my husband talked to his Dad…I think it has been months. I talk with my Dad every few weeks. My daughter several times per week and my son at least every other week but I never know when is a good time. He does not call us often but we meet up with him for lunch or dinner at least once a month. He and my husband went to 2 movies, in a row, while I was out of town. I would be stiff if I sat through 2 movies….haha!

Denise

August 22nd, 2012
4:57 pm

@DB…my friend talks to her mom several times a day and clutched her pearls when her coworker said she only talks to her mom once a week. Hell, if I could get my mom on the phone for more than 20 minutes once a week, I’d feel successful. She doesn’t like to talk on the phone, she’s asleep more than 70% of the time I call, and we sometimes just don’t click in the conversation. Lover her, yes I do, but sometimes it just doesn’t work out where I can talk to her even as often as I would like. I keep trying though. I realize it is my role to stay connected to her, not the other way around, and just roll with it.

For the record, we never came home to an empty house, had breakfast every morning, and got to school on time either because someone drove us or we caught the bus. We were both in organized sports. It was our father most of the time, but someone was at every game. Even extended family came to weekend games and dance recitals. So we were not neglected. I never felt unloved. My brother would say the same thing. People are just different. Sometimes you have to love people where they are and for whom they are and accept how they are able to love you back.

Denise

August 22nd, 2012
4:57 pm

That should say “love her” not “lover her”. YIKES!