Should boys in coed dorms be right next door to girls?
My wonderful babysitter is heading off to college next month, and I was surprised to learn that she will live right next door to boys! (Smelly, loud boys! Sorry but it’s true!)
Her family is very religious and she is absolutely a good girl so I am so surprised she will be living next door to boys. She’s not thrilled about it but it’s where she was placed.
I tried searching her college dorm site to see if coed dorms are all they offered. They were all that I found but I didn’t click on every entry. Then I searched UGA’s site. It looks like the majority is coed. Even my old dorm, Payne Hall, which was all women, is now coed. (It looks like Brumby is still all girls. Even Mary Lyndon has boys!!)
When we went to Georgia, Oglethorpe House was coed with boys living next door to girls so long as they didn’t share a bathroom. So I know there have been coed dorms for 30 some-odd years but I am still bothered by it. (I feel like the oldest woman in the world shaking my fist.)
Michael says my outrage is misplaced.
I just think that boys and girls need to concentrate on their studies and have some time to not feel like they have to be on. They should be able to walk around in skimpy pjs and not feel like they will be stared at. They should be able to color their hair and walk down the hall to visit a friend without being embarrassed.
And boys need time to do pushups and be gross without girls witnessing all the dares, bets and pranks. (I know I’m going to take a beating for this but it’s true!)
It’s similar to the theory of having single-sex classes. They need to be able to concentrate and I’m not sure they can do that living next door to boys!
I do not want my girls living next door to boys when they go to college. (I would have less of an issue with a girl hall and then a boy hall because there is some separation. )
So what do you think: Can boys and girls concentrate on their studies with the other sex living right next door? Do they need some single-sex time to unwind, bond and study?
Did your child live in a coed dorm? Did you? What are/were the pluses and minuses? Would you let your child live next door to the opposite sex? What about he hall above?
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81 comments Add your comment
HappyTeacher
July 25th, 2012
3:16 pm
It worked well in the ’80s. Why not in 2012?
DB
July 25th, 2012
3:20 pm
To answer your question: Yes, girls and boys both can “unwind” in the presence of the opposite sex. I’m curious about your comment about having to be “on” all the time. Just because a boy is around? WTH? What is it about the odd creatures that you feel that a woman has to be dressed to the nines, makeup and hair done just to be in the presence of a boy?
In fact, I think it’s probably not a bad idea for guys — AND girls — to see the other side at their not-so-best. Far more realistic. :-) If they want to wander around in their undies, then they can stay in their room — although, frankly, the boys see more skin at the pool than they ever do in the dorm!
catlady
July 25th, 2012
3:29 pm
Theresa, remind us again when you were at UGA? Was it in the late 80s? (I was there in 1990- working on my PhD. Wonder if we were there the same time.)
lakerat
July 25th, 2012
3:31 pm
Well put, DB – my oldest son lived in Oglethorpe his freshman year (early admission allowed this) at UGA, and we were not shocked to learn that the dorm was alternately boy/girl rooms (no shared baths, however). What did shock us was the fact that an 18 year old freshman (my son) was paired with a 6th year grad student, who lived in Athens, no less!
And, as motherjane pointed out to “see” – most schools do require freshmen to live in dorms the first year, in order to “assimilate” more easily to college life – I think both my sons assimilated a little to well, if you get my drift – LOL
pws
July 25th, 2012
3:32 pm
OK, I have to post, after reading all of them. I went to GT when there were only two women’s dorms, in what they called way back then as area 3. We were on the first floor of ours, and one night during one of those warm springlike days that happen to sometimes come in early February, we looked out our window and saw a nude male streaking across the common area. We thought it was very funny. The next night, there were three nude males running across the area. The next night, the three had turned to about 50, and they were making so much noise you couldn’t concentrate. One of our upstairs neighbors got mad at all the noise they were making, and the next day she went home to Rome, Ga, where her family owned a clothing store. She came back with four huge boxes of men’s underwear of various sizes, and when the streaking began, began throwing the boxers out her 4th floor window, yelling “put it on, you are disgusting”. I can still see her, yelling, at all the nude males standing around the area. A phenominon known as “streaking” had been born! Dean Dull hired professional photographers to go around taking pictures of the streakers, and then called each student in to his office and showed them their picture. He told them if he got a second picture of them in the buff, then the picture would go home to mom and dad. Stopped the streaking immediately. Really smart man, Dean Dull. So TWG, it doesn’t matter if you are in an all girls dorm, or not, you will still probably run into some nude males in college! LOL
Raisin Toast Fanatic
July 25th, 2012
3:55 pm
“Boys living next to girls in a dorm!!!! THEY WILL FORNICATE!!!!
OH THE HUMANITY!!!!! Will someone please think about the children?
The dead rising from the grave!”
“Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together… mass hysteria!”
I’ve been waiting to hear this line again for quite some time. I know the movie reference. :)
NICE ha ha.
In a word
July 25th, 2012
4:15 pm
Yes
In two words
July 25th, 2012
4:17 pm
Hell Yes
"I just think that boys and girls need to concentrate on their studies"...
July 25th, 2012
4:25 pm
…surely you jest – they didn’t need 24 hours a day, even back in the dark ages (1980’s) when you were at UGA, TWG…
Harris Dorm RA
July 25th, 2012
4:32 pm
Harris Dorm at Georgia Tech was coed in the 1970’s: girls in one wing separated from the boys by locked doors. There were common areas where we hung out together to watch that new show Saturday Night Live. It was very pleasant arrangement for both. IMHO, I think that girls feel more secure if there are some males living nearby. OTOH, boys esp freshmen do have a hard (cough) time concentrating on school if the air gets saturated with pheromones. I recommend L-shaped dorms with the males on one side and the females on the other. Separate entrances too. They’d be pretty close, but they wouldn’t have to see and smell each other continuously.
HB
July 25th, 2012
4:37 pm
My freshman dorm was coed by floor with no visitation rules/restricted times other than boys weren’t allowed in the hall bathroom. It was kind of nice to be separated by floor though. There seemed to be an expectation of somewhat calmer behavior and cleaner conditions on the women’s floors, and the guys visiting didn’t disrupt that. The guys’ floors were much louder, crazier (I recall getting hit in the head with a loaf of bread upon entering the guys’ floor one afternoon — they had some sort of slingshot competition going on), and sometimes gross. Not that we didn’t visit them and have a lot of fun, but it was nice to be able to return home to our more civilized floor afterwards. :)
Sunshine
July 25th, 2012
4:38 pm
I read the article, and most of the comments. From what I read, the article wasn’t speaking about the possibility of the student’s hooking up but more so of both boys and girls needing their space and privacy without the presence of the opposite sex. As a woman, while I am completely comfortable being myself in the company of men, but I understand what TWG means by not feeling the need to be on all of the time. Yes, once the students get used to each other it may be as comfortable as being home with brothers and sisters but it doesn’t start off that way at the beginning of the school year. I am sure that everyone that mentioned how comfortable they were also have a few memories of how uncomfortable they were when they first moved into the co-ed dorms.
@DB, it’s not that girls have to be dressed to the nines with hair and makeup done with boys around. It’s wanting to be comfortable enough in your space to do what you feel like doing without being looked at, judged or laughed at by the opposite sex. Boys love their women to look great, they have no idea what she goes through to pull that off and most don’t want to know.
motherjanegoose
July 25th, 2012
5:21 pm
What does this mean….And, as motherjane pointed out to “see” …I am clueless in Orlando….did I miss something lakerat?
DB…amen on this: I have it on good authority that co-ed living does not lead to endless nights of orgies, STDs and pregnancies.
We have had no issues with ours and none that I know of with their friends either.
Jan
July 25th, 2012
5:29 pm
Grow up and get a grip. This is a stupid question.
Fred ™
July 25th, 2012
5:44 pm
No lunch tomorrow shaggy (with a little s). The main guest of honor had to go to Tampa to sort out some employee problems. I’ll let you know when we reschedule.
Denise
July 25th, 2012
5:58 pm
The only issue I would have is sharing the bathroom/shower. Running around the hall in your PJs is one thing but being naked in the next shower stall is another.
And I do agree with Sunshine. It takes a while to get comfortable in your surroundings. At least it takes ME time to get comfortable in ANY surroundings. So I can see not being comfortable on day one in a co-ed hall/floor. Honestly, I wouldn’t be comfortable. But then again, I like to wear minimal clothes (always covered, no nudity) and it takes a while before I can do that in the presence of females much less males. Being at an all girls school made it a lot easier to run down the hall in your underwear without feeling too shameful.
shaggy
July 25th, 2012
6:00 pm
Fred ©
You don’t get a trademark, because you forgot how to read. Go back and look, oh tiresome one.
DB
July 25th, 2012
6:39 pm
@sunshine: EVERYONE is uncomfortable on their first day, co-ed or single dorm — most kids these days have their own room growing up, and sharing space with a roommate, no matter if you never met them before or if they are you BFF since 3rd grade, is going to take some adjusting, never mind a hall full of kids. There’s always the girl who walks around stark nekkid because she has no body issues at all, and there’s the girl who won’t step foot out of her room unless she’s done six layers of mascara. There’s the girl who won’t take a shower with anyone else in the bathroom, and ends up taking her showers at 3 AM, because she’s so self-conscious. But they adjust quickly — within a week, two at the most, they have settled in and figuring out how to make it work.
I’m still detecting a bit of chauvanism in “Boys love their women to look great, they have no idea what she goes through to pull that off and most don’t want to know.” Umm, hello? These girls are not THEIR women. They don’t have inherent ownership rights just because they live in the same dorm! It’s not as if the women are sitting in the hall plucking their eyebrows and shaving their legs, y’know? Maybe they SHOULD know what’s involved, they might appreciate it more!!
Parent
July 25th, 2012
6:42 pm
“In the past, I believe it was typically a boys dorm”
Creswell was an all-girl’s dorm in 1980.
DB
July 25th, 2012
6:44 pm
I still laugh when I remember orientation at my son’s university about 5 years ago — one parent (and there were probably about 500-600 sitting there in this meeting), loudly complained that the freshmen weren’t in “freshman only” dorms, and that some of them even had UPPERCLASSMEN for roommates! Everyone was looking at each other, as “yeah . . . so?” until she continued complaining that it was possible for an 18 year old to be paired with a 21 year old — they would learn bad habits AND THERE MIGHT BE ALCOHOL IN THE ROOM!!! (this university allowed alcohol in the dorm if the resident was 21 or over). Most of the room snickered — as if that was the only way alcohol was going to get into their room . . .
Burnt Weenie Sandwich
July 25th, 2012
7:26 pm
Another classic uptight end of the world over nothing blog from TWG……Epic.
Anyone else concerned her children are going to be totally messed up as adults?
See
July 25th, 2012
7:27 pm
My boys were planning on going to a college that focused on academics…so I’m not worried about UGAs housing requirements.
lakerat
July 25th, 2012
7:32 pm
Sorry motherjane – all I was doing was quoting what you wrote at 8:19 this morning “uly 25th, 2012
8:19 am
@ See…I believe UGA requires freshman to live on campus. At least they did in 2005 and 2010, when mine were freshman.”
Have you seen Mickey yet in Orlando?
lakerat
July 25th, 2012
7:34 pm
At “See” – like UGA doesn’t focus on academics?…thenj how did they get to be a Top 20 university in academia…
Observer
July 25th, 2012
8:24 pm
One step on the path of rearing our kids to be independent and self-reliant. Don’t be an impediment in their way. So boys/girls on same floor? You have already reared them, allow them to be young adults. And the co-ed dorms are across the country. Words escape me for a parent using this topic to describe their kids as “smarter than” to take a swipe at UGA.
motherjanegoose
July 25th, 2012
8:34 pm
@lakerat…thanks…I thought I missed something. Mine were freshman in 2005 and 2010 too…perhaps they had classes together. Steering WAY clear of Mickey. I am working this week. You could not pay me to stand in line to see Mickey when it is 95 degrees here. I have not been to Disney in years…not my cup of tea. Maybe if we have grandchildren, I will re-think.
BehindEnemyLines
July 25th, 2012
10:18 pm
re: “They need to be able to concentrate” … seems awfully naive to think that concentrating on anything related to actual school is a priority for freshman (girls OR boys).
Fred ™
July 27th, 2012
1:17 am
shaggy
July 25th, 2012
6:00 pm
Fred ©
You don’t get a trademark, because you forgot how to read. Go back and look, oh tiresome one.
++++++++++++++++++++++++
I can’t shaggy (with a little s and probably a little p) Apparently Theresa is one of the soccor mom’s you get all wet so she deleted my posts. I didn’t look any further than that. The fact that you are allowed to post your right wing talk radio drivel and that anyone who refutes you is deleted says it all.
As I thought, you lacked the balls to actually show up. Or most likely, the required dress. I get it son. Anyone who does nothing other than quote Neal Boortz and The Greaseman, isn’t exactly a Rhodes scholar nor anyone who needs be taken seriously.
Oh and name stealer Fred? I did the trademark thing BECAUSE of your name jacking and TWG’s lack of balls to stop you. The rest of your rant is meaningless because you lack honor just like little shaggy.
shaggy
July 27th, 2012
7:05 am
Fred ©
Little Freddie boy…you really are the dense one aren’t you?
I have to thank you for at least getting the handle right…finally, but after all the dense ones take a little more time than the rest of us.
I am guessing you are balding and turning into a little tubby George Castanza caricature, after your retirement. Boy, I’ll bet anyone around you in any workplace you could possibly occupy, was high fiving that retirement.
Let me turn the table on this invitation farce.
I am leaving this evening for a trip to Looking Glass…it’s in NC…look it up, and don’t wet your pants when you see what goes on there. The boy is home from school out west -this ain’t reading, writing, arithmetic school…a little more, uh…on the edge school- and we are going to gain some altitude in the beautiful Blue Ridge in a manual sort of way…climb that sucker. He is already climbing better than me on rock, which makes me proud. I taught him. Ms. shaggy is going to hold down base camp and do some belaying for us, and then we are going to settle into some really nice venison chops from last year’s hunt, drink too many beers, and laugh VERY loud with our other friends that will be there.
Come on up…if you dare and promise not to talk politics, scream like a little girl, when we top rope (safest belay…for newbies and crybabies) you up. Plus, don’t oogle Ms. shaggy…she will clean your chubby clock.
You reference “balls”…lets’ see where yours are pudgy, Gerogie-porgie, pudding and pie.
shaggy
July 27th, 2012
8:53 am
Enter your comments here
shaggy
July 27th, 2012
9:31 am
Ferd ©,
I want to sweeten the pot. If you have nads enough to come to Looking Glass, find me, climb with us, and survive one night in this environment, I will treat you to Bones every Friday for a month. What do you say leeeettle boy?
After all, you are retired and should have plenty of time for this, but do you have any real courage…at 200/300+ vertical feet.
http://www.southeastclimbing.com/climbing_areas/north_carolina/looking_glass_rk.htm