Should boys in coed dorms be right next door to girls?

My wonderful babysitter is heading off to college next month, and I was surprised to learn that she will live right next door to boys! (Smelly, loud boys! Sorry but it’s true!)

Her family is very religious and she is absolutely a good girl so I am so surprised she will be living next door to boys. She’s not thrilled about it but it’s where she was placed.

I tried searching her college dorm site to see if  coed dorms are all they offered. They were all that I found but I didn’t click on every entry.  Then I searched UGA’s site. It looks like the majority is coed. Even my old dorm, Payne Hall, which was all women, is now coed.  (It looks like Brumby is still all girls. Even Mary Lyndon has boys!!)

When we went to Georgia, Oglethorpe House was coed with boys living next door to girls so long as they didn’t share a bathroom. So I know there have been coed dorms for 30 some-odd years but I am still bothered by it. (I feel like the oldest woman in the world shaking my fist.)

Michael says my outrage is misplaced.

I just think that boys and girls need to concentrate on their studies and have some time to not feel like they have to be on. They should be able to walk around in skimpy pjs and not feel like they will be stared at. They should be able to color their hair and walk down the hall to visit a friend without being embarrassed.

And boys need time to do pushups and be gross without girls witnessing all the dares, bets and pranks. (I know I’m going to take a beating for this but it’s true!)

It’s similar to the theory of having single-sex classes. They need to be able to concentrate and I’m not sure they can do that living next door to boys!

I do not want my girls living next door to boys when they go to college. (I would have less of an issue with a girl hall and then a boy hall because there is some separation. )

So what do you think: Can boys and girls concentrate on their studies with the other sex living right next door? Do they need some single-sex time to unwind, bond and study?

Did your child live in a coed dorm? Did you? What are/were the pluses and minuses? Would you let your child live next door to the opposite sex? What about he hall above?

81 comments Add your comment

FCM on my cell

July 25th, 2012
6:27 am

My brother lived in Oglethorpe. It was apparently no big deal.

But then maybe that is b/c he had girls in his room all the time. I recall one Saturday my Mom saod oh it is 8am he should be home now. I said dont call u wont like it. She called. I could only hear her side….oh, I am sorry I must have miss dialed. Well I thought I was calling my son, ___________. What do you mean you will roll over and ask him to wake up!!!!!!!!

TWG, if she did not check/consider housing when she applied that is her mistake. Assuming she did a tour ect she knew.

Besides, fall rush will be an option. I really doubt the Sorority house is co-ed.

motherjanegoose

July 25th, 2012
6:53 am

Mine lived in Creswell and Lipscomb. The floors were either for boys or girls. Both moved to apartments their second year. Dorm housing is very tight at UGA. I heard that last year the RA’s ( is that the term?) were told they were going to have room mates. That would make me mad, if I had signed up to be an RA. A friend of my daughter’s was offered $700 to leave the dorm and take an apartment. Mine both prefer apartment living. IMHO it is good for freshman to live on campus for the following reasons: meal plan and making new friends.

gtmom

July 25th, 2012
6:57 am

I lived in only coed dorms too. No big deal. Maybe because it was Tech?? There wasn’t many boys and girls coming and going from each others rooms all the time. There really wasn’t an issue. But anyway, at college I hope they are treated as adults. It is time to let them go. If you have a problem concentrating with the opposite sex living near your or going to school with you at this point, then, you are going to have major problems when you start work. About walking around in skimpy PJs.. I think that my female roommates would be very bothered by that. I sure and the heck didn’t want to see them walking around in skimpy pjs! Most everyone in my dorms lived in t-shirts and flannel pjs bottoms or workout shorts. Not really a distraction.

Smelly loud boy

July 25th, 2012
7:32 am

Well, think of me…….Next to whiny needy can’t make up their mind girls.

Chick Fil A on Sunday

July 25th, 2012
7:34 am

Good god you are such a prude. Further, to stereotype boys as smelly and loud allows me to sterotype you as dumb, helpless and a bad driver among other things.

Class of 1990

July 25th, 2012
7:37 am

May Walsh grow up to be really smelly, sinky and gross.

Jeff

July 25th, 2012
7:38 am

TWG, honey, I gotta call ya out on this one. Has your virginity grown back? Why are you so worried that these “girls” are so innocent and are going to be thrown off their destiny for achieving greatness by a smelly boy next door?

Your apparent broad brush opinion of boys is extremely low. Yes, they have poor behavior sometimes, but do a google search on “college girls in dorms” and let me know about those innocent little girls who are just there to concentrate on their studies.

Augusta

July 25th, 2012
7:43 am

Most dorms are co-ed now. No worries. She’s just the babysitter…you don’t need to fret over her rooming with boys. That’s HER MOTHER’S job, NOT YOURS!! You have enough to fret about, don’t take this on.

Tom

July 25th, 2012
7:46 am

Quick!…..someone check and see what a 2,000-yr-old collection of religious narratives written by a bunch of Bronze Age stoners has to say on this topic! Only THEN will we have the answer!

*snort*

ED

July 25th, 2012
7:52 am

Doesn’t matter where they live, there will always be boys on the girl’s dorm floors and girls on the boy’s floor. Even when I went to the university over 20yrs ago, it was true. If you haven’t taught them morals and standards by the time they walk out the door, it’ no time to start now. AND, my son is cute, well dressed and by some standards keeps a nice room (because he wants to impress the girls). From what I have heard, they girls are wilder than the boys and more apt to pressure them…..2sides to every situation.

motherjanegoose

July 25th, 2012
7:53 am

FYI…when I visited Creswell in 2005, it was the smelliest dorm I have ever stood in. My son got in early acceptance but was waiting to see if his friend would get in ( he did) and that was one of the dorms still open when they applied for housing together. In the past, I believe it was typically a boys dorm. Smelled like wet tennis shoes and sweaty t shirts being left in the corner for years. I was also told that the elevator frequently smelled like urine. Not sure how many girls would squat in an elevator. Just my experience.

ahsoisee

July 25th, 2012
7:57 am

Many ladies attend college to get an MRS degree. No matter where the boys are the girls will find them.

See

July 25th, 2012
8:04 am

My boys will not be living in dorms. First of all, they are overpriced. Second of all, they don’t teach you ANYTHING about living in the “real world”. In the real world you pay for your rent and utilities, generally on a monthly basis. In the real world, you don’t have people strolling by your bedroom at all hours of the night. In the real world, you won’t be able to afford a cushy place with all the latest gadgets. Finally, in the real world you get to choose your roommates. Dorms are just a bad idea all the way around.

newblogger

July 25th, 2012
8:06 am

I lived in a co-ed dorm and that was hmmm…over 25 years ago. No big deal. We loved having boys next door. Never a dull moment. I don’t remember any embarassing situations. My son lived in a co-ed dorm his first year at Kennesaw State three years ago. It didn’t seem to affect his studies. And yes, sometimes the girls are worse than the boys! About the skimpy pjs…I can’t imagine their pjs being much skimpier than some of the clothes/swimsuits they wear daily.

Roni

July 25th, 2012
8:07 am

I lived in Russell Hall 15 years ago and I think it was the perfect set up – girl halls and boy halls. My boyfriend at the time lived one floor under mine so it was only a 30 second trip to see him, but I got to live on an all-girls hall with (most importantly) an all-girls bathroom. I’m in no way a prude and I think you’re burying your head in the sand if you think boys and girls won’t be in each others’ dorm rooms at all hours, but there’s no way I want boys in my bathroom. Many girls ran back and forth from the shower in just a towel or small robe and that’s convenience worth preserving.

jct

July 25th, 2012
8:18 am

Seriously TWG, the things you worry about. Went to college 25 years ago and lived in a coed dorm where rooms were female next to male. The guys on your floor become like your brothers, your protectors. I was placed in an all female hall my first year as a RA. I hated it. The next year I requested to be put in a coed hall and was much more happy with that experience.

Not everyone is looking to hook up with their floor mates. In fact, where I went to school is was discouraged to keep harmony on the floor. Coed dorms stink less and have less cattiness as well. It is win-win for those who aren’t prudes.

motherjanegoose

July 25th, 2012
8:19 am

@ See…I believe UGA requires freshman to live on campus. At least they did in 2005 and 2010, when mine were freshman. Yes, it can be less expensive to live in an apartment. Daughter has four girls in a four bedroom two bath apartment. Not luxurious but nicer than what we lived in we we were first married. They have their own washer and dryer. It is under $500 month for each girl with utilities. Three cook their own meals and the other girl has meal plan on campus. You do have to sign a 12 month lease and some parents do not want to do this. Our daughter works in Athens and so the apartment is perfect for her to keep her job over the summer.

shaggy

July 25th, 2012
8:58 am

TWG,

You do realize that this is a babysitter, and not your kid, or little sister, don’t you? I am assuming she has parents to assist her in her decisions, doesn’t she, or is she living in a box in your back yard?
The rest of this article is just too ripe for picking…I have a dozen or so “observations” and reflections of one of shaggy’s prime hunting grounds of yore…UGA dorms. I am going to just let it go, as you made this too easy.
One thing I will say, I was not smelly. I knew males who qualified as smelly, and those were the ones who, to the man, were alone A LOT, with only their right (or left in the minority of cases) hands as dates. Is Walsh right or left handed? Surely, by now you have walked in on him being “gross”.
Eventually, after me and my peers repeatedly demonstrated such high scoring methodology, and little to no use of our hands, even the smelly ones learned about hygiene, and the use of deodorant. Then, their lives were much more fulfilling. I think most of them even had actual sex with girls, although a few had developed a real love interest for their hand and bought many boxes of tissue.

southpaw

July 25th, 2012
9:00 am

Chick-Fil-A @7:34
Did you miss TWG’s irony, or did I miss yours?

I was at Tech when the first co-ed dorm, Woodruff, opened. Men were at one end of it, women at the other, almost like having separate dorms with a common area between them. While I was in Towers dorm, the women of Glenn dorm, next door, definitely would NOT want to see an annual contest we had. The title of the contest includes the number 500. The rest of the title and the rules are unfit for a family-type blog.

If any women had been in Towers back then, I probably would have been thinking about how to impress them instead of thinking about my studies (men outnumbered women about 3.7 to 1 back then). I’m with you, TWG, and I’ll take the beating along with you.

Techmom

July 25th, 2012
9:02 am

I never lived in the dorms but I’m with jct in that I would much prefer to live in a co-ed environment than with a bunch of girls. Too much drama when it’s just girls.

College Mom

July 25th, 2012
9:17 am

First year, my daughter lived in a dorm that alternated girl/boy floors. That hall had the old style rooms with hall bathrooms. Last year, she lived in a reclaimed sorority house, suite style. Her suite (4 girls) was on the boy’s floor. The girl’s floor was upstairs. She loved it!! Far less drama. She’s back in the same house and same room this year, except they are switching the floors, so she’ll be on a girls’s floor. At first glance last year, we weren’t thrilled, but she ended up loving the convenience of this house, having guys on her hall (they had some wicked Nerf gun fights!!) and the house had a bit more freedom than a traditional dorm. She realized after the past two months (internship in another city) that she isn’t really ready for the upkeep on an apartment. She’s an Engineering major, and her schedule gets crazy hectic sometimes, so housekeeping gets sacrificed.

She’s been pretty lucky so far. She didn’t make the housing cut for last year, but found out about the house (they call themselves the Unafilliated Frat). Late this year, she found out it was an option, so she requested it again.

Mattie

July 25th, 2012
9:51 am

Colleges cannot afford to waste available dorm space. Enrollment figures for girls have outpaced boys for several years now. If the dorms remained single sex, they could conceivably run out of available beds for females. Coed dorms give them the most flexibility. Economics 101.

Your stereotyping of male vs female traits is ludicrous.

Scooby

July 25th, 2012
10:16 am

What year is this? 1977? Are baby doll pajamas back? There’s no college girls coloring their own hair. With all the highlights, that’s all professional. I feel so sorry for your children.

camille

July 25th, 2012
10:20 am

@FCM on my cell — that was tooo funny..LOL

My daughter was a freshman last year at GA southern. Co-ed dorm and all. That didn’t bother me. I was bothered b/c she had her own room with a double bed (two girls shared a bathroom).

Yes, we teach our children right from wrong, etc but they have to experience life for themselves and not just the parts we want them to experience.

yuzeyurbrane

July 25th, 2012
10:26 am

Some of your info is inaccurate for UGA. My daughter lived for awhile at Rutherford and the girls lived on half the floor and the boys on the other half. It is an old dorm with a long long hallway and stairwells and other common areas in the middle. The bathrooms and showers were separate for boys and girls. There was no feeling that they were “next door” to each other. And I certainly didn’t feel that the kids were getting all gussied up for each other. Granted that it wasn’t the total bldg. segregation from my college days but the feeling wasn’t that different. It did enhance communication between the 2 sexes but that is the real world and the method used at UGA was simply easing them into that. Mostly, the girls hung out with the girls and the boys hung out with the boys; the interaction between the boys and girls I saw was on a group friendship basis and that is good. Having visited other college campuses, my observation is that co-ed dorms is the norm although the arrangements vary from school to school. Some are like UGA and some do in fact have the boys and girls living in rooms next to each other.

zeke

July 25th, 2012
10:31 am

COED dorms just another hit on morality in the USA!!

mom2alex&max

July 25th, 2012
10:47 am

I lived in Oglehtorpe for a year and it was really no big deal. I also lived in Creswell which had boy floors and girl floors and there were co-eds all over the place in every floor visiting and hanging out. I never felt like I had to be “on”. It was college. No one gave a flip in the dorms.

catlady

July 25th, 2012
10:47 am

Way back when I was in college (we had wood heaters back then) there were single sex dorms and coed dorms. The coed dorms were by floors. There were still visiting hours when men could not be “upstairs” in the rooms. If you were going to be out late, you had to “sign out.” Some women’s parents had them on restricted sign out–they had to have specific parental permission. Luckily for me, my parents gave me great latitude–and I used it!

Flash forward to my daughters’ experiences. The elder was at a women’s college, and there were very strict rules about men on the hall. My younger started out at a co-ed college, and while there were single sex dorms, there were limited rigid rules about visitation. When she transfered to Agnes Scott, things were pretty relaxed, but of course there were no co-ed dorms. My son’s experience in college was so much more liberal. Rooms were assigned, but things were very relaxed, to say the least.

I would not worry about the co-ed nature of dorms, personally. You always have to live around some one who is different in one way or another, be it gender, race, religion, or sexual orientation. You’ve had 18 years to raise your child for the world of differences, and it is appropriate for them to live in the real world.

catlady

July 25th, 2012
10:56 am

My daughters DID like the relaxed clothing opportunities–going to breakfast in pajamas during finals, for example. At the younger daughter’s first college, it was REQUIRED that you dress up for class–even guys in ties!

I remember, long ago, my mother telling me that at her women’s college, the women were not allowed to go across campus without a rain coat covering their bathing suit!

Class of 1990

July 25th, 2012
11:00 am

Problem – Solution – save your money and send your daughters to Smith or Bryn Mwar

Jman

July 25th, 2012
11:02 am

I lived in O’House years ago. I loved it. The other question that should be asked are what are the Dorm rules on visitation. In O’house it was 24/7, but with my girlfried, I got busted in her dorm at 3 AM for studying because I broke the floor’s visitation policy of midnight at that time.
It was a pain. Probably a little off putting, but…. Showering was much easier for her when she was staying at my place. I had to scamper from her all girls floor to the upstairs boy’s floor and back with a towel wrapped around me.
She is a young lady, you have given her all the tools to leave the nest. She will make mistakes on the way, but that’s life…let her be free.

LM

July 25th, 2012
11:09 am

My Daughter is getting packed for her junior year. Truthfully, I never even thought to be concerned about the coed dorms. There were/are too many things to be focused on. Anyway it was not the boys that were so wild, the girls across the hall were the ones she had to watch out for.

Jman

July 25th, 2012
11:13 am

As to your skimpy Pj’s comment…All I can say is wow! Guys more than anything would around in boxers, but most women wore 2 piece top and bottoms (shorts or pants), sweats, etc. The sexy negligee was for their boyfriend and not for public consumption. Kids are a lot smarter than you give them credit. This is not Animal House or Revenge of the Nerds. P.S. The food I thought was better at O’House’s cafteria + it was always open on the weekend. Also, it was very convenient to things on campus with the most liberal hours. Most of students were upper classmen, but I too lucked out in getting there as a freshman. Good luck!

pj

July 25th, 2012
11:17 am

I would be more concerned about harrassment or rape than smelly, stinky, or gross. and those who are dissing stereotyping boys (these are actually Men for the most part, btw) are equally out of line drumming up “girl drama.” I didn’t experience any of that in the dorm, and guys have plenty of drama of their own. We had to opt out of the dorm for financial reasons this year, but I wasn’t too upset because two of my friends’ kids had serious problems last year – both males. One had a depressed suicidal room-mate and the other had stuff stolen from him from a drug dealing roomate.

Me

July 25th, 2012
11:18 am

Wow — If you’re this concerned in 2012 just think of how “bad” it will be by the time your own offspring are preparing for college. @TWG, do you really worry and stress over life to this extent?

FCM

July 25th, 2012
11:23 am

@ whom ever said some girls go to school for an MRS….well I have told one of mine for years I plan to send her to Ol’ Miss. (they do have a repuation for marrying well there). lol

My brother (I have been told) lived on an all boys floor at Oglethorpe. The story I told above remains true. but what do you expect from someone who has Bart Simpson poster on the wall that when you turn out the lights says “with all these girls around you would think someone would draw me a _________” ok maybe that is TMI but hopefully we are adult to get a laugh from it. Shaggy, like you my brother was apparently no saint.

College Students Aren't Children

July 25th, 2012
11:33 am

I think the name under which I posted says it all. 18 year olds are adults according to law. They are legally responsible for their actions, able to enlist in the military, have the right to vote, and nearly everything else but purchase alcoholic beverages. If they can’t live in a dormitory next door to someone of the opposite sex, there is something seriously wrong with their maturity level.

Denise

July 25th, 2012
12:25 pm

I went to Spelman (all girls) the first 3 years so clearly I didn’t have to worry about living with men. We had strict visitation rules. If you ran into a man in the hall, you knew it was possible. However I spent PLENTY of time at Morehouse (all boys)…PLENTY…to the point where my father asked me if I was getting my degree from there or Spelman. Their visitation policies were a lot more lenient and we had plenty more schemes to get out of trouble if we did get caught…which we had to use several times. Several girls basically moved into Morehouse dorms with their boyfriends. How they pulled that off I don’t know. And let’s not talk about drinking. Point is, you do whatever it is you want to do, whether in or out of the rule book.

At GA Tech I only stayed in the dorm one quarter and my boyfriend was out of town all summer so I didn’t care about what the visitation rules were. My roommate was never in the room so I didn’t have her boyfriend to deal with. It was an all-girls dorm and I never ran into anyone when I went to the bathroom in my robe.

Warrior Woman

July 25th, 2012
12:58 pm

@TWG – You are overreacting. Dorms are not conducive to studying, whether or not they are co-ed, because dorms are noisy, cramped places. The coed dorms at my daughters’ colleges did not prevent them being in the hallways in their pajamas, although they prefer flannel pants and t-shirts to “skimpy pjs.”

Having guys on the hall never seemed to stop the girls from doing any girl stuff. It did, however, provide a ready supply of young gentlemen willing help carry heavy packages.

@yuzeyurbrain – The information you provided may be correct for Rutherford Hall, but Theresa was right about Oglethorpe and that the vast majority of UGA dorms are coed.

shaggy

July 25th, 2012
1:07 pm

FCM,

I had no concept of the word “saint” at that point in my life. If it was going on, I was probably right smack in the middle of it. I ran hard and long, and regret absolutely none of it.

jarvis

July 25th, 2012
1:33 pm

“good girl” :-)

C from Marietta

July 25th, 2012
1:42 pm

This is funny –

“And boys need time to do pushups and be gross without girls witnessing all the dares, bets and pranks. (I know I’m going to take a beating for this but it’s true!)”

They are 18 NOT 12! Talk about out of touch with reality. Are you still scared to go to a movie? HA HA!

Rose

July 25th, 2012
1:45 pm

It’s a little late in the day to even ask this question. My daughter went to UGA and lived in Russell (I think) – big with guys not necessarily next door but on the same floors. They had gang bathrooms, so they were separate. But it didn’t make a difference as they were in each others’ rooms all the time. I went to college eons ago and I lived in a coed dorm at UCLA. I just remember eating in the cafeteria (in that dorm) and the girls wore so much perfume, I could hardly eat.

C from Marietta

July 25th, 2012
1:47 pm

Yes, coed dorms lead to Roman Orgies! Oh the horror! (being sarcastic).

Penguinmom

July 25th, 2012
2:26 pm

I lived in 2 different co-ed dorms at West Georgia but both were separated into a boy’s wing and a girl’s wing with a common area in the middle. Part of the reason for the separation was that the bathroom was a common bathroom for the whole floor, not bathrooms in the individual rooms. If each room/suite has its own bathroom then it is more like having your own apartment so the co-ed part is not as big of a deal.

Eeeeka Nakedbody

July 25th, 2012
2:28 pm

Remember, many girls have brothers so they’re used to gross, stinky etc.

My first night in Russell Hall at UGA back when it was “male only” there was a fire alarm. What came outside to wait, was not “male only”.

Sophomore year I lived in Reed Hall. My room was the last room before the girls portion of the hall started. Became good friends with many of our female neighbors. Actually we knew more of them than we did guys on our hall. They saw us in our underwear and we saw them in theirs….our philosophy was “if you havent’ seen it yet, then oh well. But it was pretty much platonic because we/they didn’t want any drama.

FCM

July 25th, 2012
2:30 pm

I was no saint either. Did not live in a dorm. Didn’t date boys in a dorm…in fact at that time my school did not have dorms. I lived “at home.” But I knew how to call and say “Not coming home tonight.”

I don’t think the dorm being co-ed or not (as illustrated by the comments) is the issue.

I have been watching Boy Meets World and the one where Corey has trouble going into the co-ed bathroom is so funny! Especially when his financee goes into brush her teeth, some good looking guy walks up in a towel. Corey says you can’t go in there, and proceeds to grab hold of the towel. The guy (supposedly in his all togethers) just walks into the shower and out comes the fiancee looking over her shoulder with wide eyes. None of the dorms I ever heard about had co-ed showers but I suppose they exist.

DB

July 25th, 2012
2:35 pm

Oh, sheesh! ROFLMAO!!! T, honey, welcome to the 21st century! My daughter was at Brumby for a few weeks, and due to a horrible roommate, ended up moving to O’House — she loved it. Yes, there were boys around. Big deal. She grew up with a brother, she knew what boys were like, and they don’t intimidate her in the least. Her sophomore year, she had a single and lived in 1516, the new “green” dorm, with a guy next door and across the hall (she had a private bath). It was no biggie. The guys didn’t lurk in the hall waiting to pounce on her when she walked in late, for heaven’s sake. My son lived in a co-ed dorm his first two years at college — floor by floor, but nothing keeping residents off each other’s floor at any time of the day or night (the bathrooms were locked, though, which was HIGHLY annoying if you had a guest from another dorm — or even family members — who needed to use a ladies room!) I have it on good authority that co-ed living does not lead to endless nights of orgies, STDs and pregnancies.

FCM

July 25th, 2012
2:39 pm

@Eeeeka Nakedbody you bring up a good point. They probably have brothers or boyfriends so the whole loud/obnoxious/stinky thing is likely already known.

Also with internet it is likely they already known more than they should just from realtively innocent Google. (Yes it can be from innocent Google search…the MS had one going around last year that got half the block grounded by us parents!)

Voice of Reason

July 25th, 2012
3:06 pm

Boys living next to girls in a dorm!!!! THEY WILL FORNICATE!!!!

OH THE HUMANITY!!!!! Will someone please think about the children?

The dead rising from the grave!

Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together… mass hysteria!

WTF is this even a question? HONESTLY?