When is summer bedtime?

My kids are staying up way too late! But it’s hard to make them go to bed when you know you don’t have to be up in the morning.

One of my mom friends told me her kids were still going to bed at 8 p.m.! I can’t imagine. The sun is not even down yet. Mine would totally revolt?

What is a reasonable bedtime for summer?

49 comments Add your comment

Fred

July 20th, 2012
1:39 am

At our home, my girls do have to be up in the morning, there is no sleeping in until you wake. That said, bedtime is about an hour and a half later than during school. So, 930 weekdays, 1000 on weekends.

Mary

July 20th, 2012
5:32 am

My 11 year old is in bed at 10 p.m. in the summer because I need him to go to bed. And, if they’re playing outside and doing all the things kids are supposed to do during the summer, they’re tired and ready for bed. We start an earlier bedtime about a week before school begins.

As for a revolt……really? Who’s the parent here?

motherjanegoose

July 20th, 2012
7:42 am

When mine were small, I did not want their internal clock to get way off. They were typically in bed around 10:00 -10:30 during the summer and then got up by 8:00 or 9:00. I was off of school too, so this was not a problem. We eased back 15 minutes a night during the week prior to school starting. Hard to go to bed early, the night before school starts, when you have been up late all summer. Once they are in middle or HS, things change. Especially if they have a job. They have to learn their own sleep schedule.

I am not a night owl but my husband is and my adult kids are too. They have both stayed up too late and been exhausted…learned how much sleep they need.

TWG it gets dark earlier and light earlier in PHX since you do not observe daylight savings time, during the summer. We noticed that when we were out for a visit last month. Harder to get kids ready for bed at 9;00 when it is still light here.

A

July 20th, 2012
7:50 am

Mine is doing day camps, which start later than school, so bedtime is maybe 1 to 1 1/2 hours later. We know how much sleep ours needs (10-11 hours) and make sure he gets that much. You just have to maintain some kind of routine even in the summer.

Augusta

July 20th, 2012
8:01 am

The rules are very relaxed about bedtime during the summer. I’m home all day, so they don’t have to get up to go to camp, daycare, etc. My baby was up until 10:30 the other night….which is VERY late for her…..

BusyMom

July 20th, 2012
8:34 am

My 8 year old is staying up until 9:30, but she is in her bed reading. She still gets in bed at 8:00-8:30 when the younger ones go to sleep. It’s so bright here even at 8:30, so it’s hard to sleep even for them.

malleesmom

July 20th, 2012
8:37 am

Our previous summers included 8am swim practices so bedtimes didn’t vary from the school year. This year is different; no practice so right now bedtime is 10p unless we have something already planned for the next day. I will start shifting it earlier in a couple of weeks. I agree w/ Mary: no revolt. I’m the parent so bedtime is pretty set. My kids know they need their sleep and they know how badly they feel when they are tired.

FCM

July 20th, 2012
8:39 am

Mine would totally revolt?

TWG…..I say this with love….Just who is the parent? Who runs the house?

I tell them to go to bed. They go, it is not open for discussion.

Bedtime did change in that both are in bed at 9:30. My younger one is in bed by 9 and the older one sometimes is up doing homework until 10 during school. Then again mine are not sleeping in late in the mornings.

What?

July 20th, 2012
9:10 am

@A, really, ” Mine is doing “, perhaps they should be attending English classes.

Patrick

July 20th, 2012
9:16 am

@What? – I think A has only one kid. Read the rest of her post.

If I remember correctly when I was a kid, my parents allowed me to stay up until 9:30 during the summer. I went to bed at 9 during the school year. When I got older, I had to be in bed by 10:00 PM, which was when they went to bed.

RJ

July 20th, 2012
9:32 am

First, I don’t think Theresa meant revolt as in the kids would refuse, just that they would complain. Geesh!

Mine are older, but I always let them tire themselves out and they’d be ready by 11 or possibly earlier. Two weeks before school was ready to start I would ease them back into their regular schedule.

just me

July 20th, 2012
9:32 am

There is no summer bedtime at my house. I usually let them stay up as late as possible so that they’ll sleep in later the next morning.

Katherine

July 20th, 2012
10:02 am

Last school year when my kids were 6 and 3 I got them into bed at 8:30 so by the time we read a story and then with them giggling when I left they were asleep soon after 9. Last summer I had no bedtime for them. This summer though I get them in bed around 10, but I let them watch tv until they fall asleep. They can do that during the school year too but only on the weekends. I decided that this summer I needed a little me time after they laid down and before I did.

FCM

July 20th, 2012
10:25 am

@RJ so the kid grumbles/complains….that is now how she presented it at all. “My kids are staying up way too late! But it’s hard to make them go to bed when you know you don’t have to be up in the morning”

But even is you are correct it is grumble and complaining, who is the parent. My answer is find you go to your room under protest then! But get going and I don’t want to hear you.

Me

July 20th, 2012
10:25 am

We were more lenient during the summer but not to extreme.

Becky

July 20th, 2012
10:25 am

My two don’t really have a bedtime during summer, but both are usually asleep by 10′ish or so..The boy usually gets up by about 7-8 and the girl will sleep as late as you let her..Like 10:30-11:00..

Like Katherine said, mine will go to bed, then watch TV until they go to sleep..Well all sleep late (8:00) on Sat..:) That is my only day to sleep in and that’s about as late as I usually sleep..

Leigh

July 20th, 2012
10:28 am

Ours are 9 and 7 years old. In the summer, they do get to stay up past their normal bedtime (8:30-9). They are usually in bed by 11. I like them to sleep later in the morning. :) Next week, we will start getting in bed a bit earlier, so it won’t be such a hard transition when school starts.

DB

July 20th, 2012
11:27 am

Depends — if they had summer swim league practice the next morning, they were in bed by 9′ish, but otherwise, we loved summer because we’d stay up late watching old movies, playing cards and board games, reading, etc. They always had friends in and out of the house spending the night, so on those nights, it was pretty much a free-for-all.

I had one parent of my daughter’s friend who, when she dropped off her child to spend the night, also handed me a list of “requirements”, including her child’s bedtime of 8:00 pm (it was 6 pm when she dropped the child off.) Also, Little Lucy wasn’t permitted any snack food after dinner, so please do not give her anything. And here was a bag with her breakfast — they only ate organic, so please don’t allow her to eat anything else. And, oh, if the kids were going to watch a movie, please call her first to clear it with her, because they were very particular about what Lucy watched on TV. And the next day, Lucy could go swimming, but only for 15 minutes at a time to avoid excessive sun exposure. And, oh, did we have any guns in the house? “No? Are you sure? Because if you do, that’s OK, but we are just philosophically opposed to guns, and feel very strongly about that, and it would probably be a good idea if perhaps your daughter came to our house instead.” Okaaaay . . . (PS: Miss Lucy ended up moving to a different school, was in and out of rehab throughout high school, and flunked out of college her freshman year. I swear, her mother drove her crazy!)

Augusta

July 20th, 2012
11:44 am

@Becky – I wish I could sleep in…….my internal body alarm goes off at 6:00 on the weekends, and very rarely can I go back to sleep.

About 3 weeks ago, I took our dog on an early morning walk, before anyone in the house was awake, about 6:45. We returned about 7:30 and hubby was rousting the kids to go to breakfast. I ended up crawling back into bed, and fell asleep until 11:00. I had not done that in YEARS!!!!! However, I felt like I missed 1/2 of the day……LOL

catlady

July 20th, 2012
11:44 am

My kids got a little later bedtime and a little later get up time (half an hour), but they still had “regular” hours. They were not allowed to sleep in till 8! There were things to do, and I didn’t want to have to make huge changes when school started back.

And, anyone who objected to the rules I established were subject to the John Roseman school of thought, “You are arguing because you are not getting enough sleep. The doctor says the only way to help you is to give you an extra-early bedtime for a week to help you feel better.” Theresa, if you are not the established “boss” now, just wait till your kids are 12, 13, 14!

catlady

July 20th, 2012
11:49 am

My daughter sat for a woman whose daughters were in bed at 7 every night, even after they started school. That seemed extreme for me, but she had well rested (and well disciplined) daughters.

Scooby

July 20th, 2012
11:50 am

Same for me winter or summer. Oh wait, I guess you’re talking about kids.

Sarah

July 20th, 2012
11:55 am

Mine are 4 and 7 and we usually start the summer bedtime ritual around 9pm… and lights out at 10pm. And we usually get up around 8am. It works for us!

Becky

July 20th, 2012
12:50 pm

@Augusta..I know what you mean about the internal clock..Some times on weekends, I wake up about 5:30′ish..Some times I can go back to sleep and that’s how I get to sleep until 8:00..Then I come to work and I have coworkers that say they slept until 11:00 or later and I going HUH? Again, like you I can’t do that..Only if I get up real early, then nap later…

Capt Jack

July 20th, 2012
1:14 pm

Kids are same as me, whenever you feel sleepy. Your body will tell you when it needs sleep.

Patrick

July 20th, 2012
2:01 pm

@ Augusta and Becky…I’m the same way. Even on the weekends, holidays, and days I took off, I still wake up at 5 AM. I do leave the alarm on, since I’m prone to forget to turn it back on if I turn it off, but I’ll wake up for a second, turn it off, then go back to sleep. Most weekends I’ll sleep until 7:30 or 8:00 AM, then I’ll reawaken, and decide to get up and do whatever I had planned to do. If I do get up that early, I might take a nap later in the afternoon, usually around 2 or 3, unless I happen to be doing something else.

DB

July 20th, 2012
2:41 pm

Nightowl, here: I’m reading about people whose internal clocks go off in the pre-dawn hours and I’m going, “Huh?!” If you’re getting up at 5:30 or 6, it means I just went to bed two or three hours before that. THOSE are the people who sleep until 11! My daughter’s job this summer usually has her working from 6-7 pm until 2-3 am — so yeah, she sleeps until noon! I’m usually working until 2 or so, because when it’s quiet and the rest of the world is out of my hair is when I’m super-productive and can work on projects that demand total concentration. So do I feel like a slacker for sleeping until 11? Oh, hell, no! If I have an early meeting, I have to make a concentrated effort to go to bed before midnight in order to be coherent the next morning. Luckily, my clients aren’t early birds, either, so it works for me.

Dennis

July 20th, 2012
2:49 pm

My kids get up early no matter when they go to bed. If it’s 7:30 and they aren’t up, it’s rare.

What do kids stay up late to do? It’s one thing if they are active and outdoors playing, but if they are staying up late to watch television or playing video games it’s probably going to disturb their sleep down the line.

We just came off vacation to the Pacific NW – the sun was out until after 9 every night and up at 5 the next morning! Hard to the go to bed early in that climate but the winter hours balance it out.

Augusta

July 20th, 2012
2:58 pm

Every morning Monday – Friday, I have a hard time waking up, and could sleep another 2 hours. Saturday & Sunday – bright eyed and bushy tailed at 6:00……even IF I try to go back to sleep, I can’t……..oh well, as they say – I’ll sleep when I’m dead..LOL

jarvis

July 20th, 2012
3:04 pm

@DB, I go to bed between midnight and 1 AM every night, and I’m up around 6. Just my internal clock I guess….I’ve never needed more that 5 or 6 hours.

I fall asleep quickly and I sleep very hard.

pj

July 20th, 2012
3:15 pm

When my kids were growing up, in the summer we went to the pool every day when possible from 4-7. Dinner was often at 9, so bedtime was after that.

iRun

July 20th, 2012
3:33 pm

Does it count if your kid is 11 and heading to middle school?

My kid, Ruckus, seems to be exactly like me in that he needs very little sleep. Me, I’m asleep around midnight and up at 5. My husband, he needs 7 hours sleep. Ruckus, in bed by 10:30, reading. Falls asleep whenever, sometimes 1am. But he gets up in the morning, no problem.

Now that he’s on the front edge of puberty he’s needing more sleep, but I expect that to pass once he’s grown.

But as for the summer schedule. I am not a SAHM, though I do telework 2 days a week. tele WORK. So, the kid goes to camp.

This summer he did robotics camp and computer game programming camp and tennis camp. So, he had to be up by 7. The only time he got to sleep in were the 2 weeks at Grandma’s. And next week. We’ll be at the beach.

FCM

July 20th, 2012
4:46 pm

@ TWG…I am surprised you did not put a post about the tragedy in CO. Discuss it with kids, will it keep you from the theater (apparently a real concern for some movie house owners), that kind of thing.

My heart and prayers to all of those effected by the horrific act that occurred last night. Especially the kids that were there.

Biker Chick

July 20th, 2012
11:22 pm

My three teenagers generally stay up until anywhere between 2:00 am to 4:00 am in the morning and then sleep until noon during the summer. They are my husband’s children and only live with us during the summer. Their mother is a permissive parent and imposes very few rules or restrictions on them. When they arrive for summer and we ask them to go to bed at a decent hour (say midnight), they react with incredulity as in, “I’m 17, and you are giving me a bedtime?” My husband and I both work and have to be up by 7:00 am or so.

So for two months each year, while they are here, I am perpetually exhausted at work due to children roaming the house, cooking meals, watching television, playing video games and arguing with each other half the night. Their internal clocks are so out of whack that if they get up at a reasonable time, they then nap throughout the day. If they were my children, they would be in bed with the lights off by midnight. They are not, so I have four more summers of no sleep until the youngest is 18. It’s difficult for the children and the parents when kids are not raised with the idea that there is a time each night when you should go to bed and go to sleep. I know it’s sheer hell for some of us.

DB

July 21st, 2012
2:47 am

@Biker Chick: Well, I sorta agree with the 17 year old — bedtime? Really? My kids would definitely say I wasn’t a “permissive” parent, but to tuck them in at that age is a little unrealistic, IMO. I think it’s fair to have “quiet hours” starting at your bedtime, though. And having a “no cooking after 10 pm” rule is fair (hey, maybe they’ll learn to cook quietly and clean up after themselves!)

Do they have anything else to do during the summer? The older ones are certainly old enough to have some sort of job — that’s the sort of thing that tends to send kids to bed a little earlier, when they know they have to report for lifeguarding at 9 AM, etc.

nelson

July 21st, 2012
7:03 am

My mom had my bedtime at 7;00, i suspect that was the easy way to get me out of the way. I could hear the kids playing softball up the street.
Now, I enjoy going to bed early, it is like a second home. I wake up refreshed and full of vitality. I would listen to the Green Hornet, the Shadow, and 20 Mule Team Borax. Ron Reagan was the announcer, had a melodic voice, put me right to sleep.

JATL

July 21st, 2012
9:05 am

Mine get up just like always because they have day camps and preschool to attend. Even if I was at home and they weren’t going anywhere, they naturally wake up by 6:30am anyway, so they need to be in bed early in order to get enough rest. PLUS -I need some time to myself in the evenings. I don’t want kids up aggravating me until all hours. I want to read, watch adult-oriented television, surf the net, etc. in peace! When I was growing up, staying up late was a treat, and that’s the way I’m doing it with my kids. It’s better for everyone!

@BikerChick -teenagers are getting a bit old for “bedtimes” -especially a 17 year old, but they do need to be taught mutual respect. They’ll all be off in the world with roommates soon enough, so enforce the fact that they don’t have to sleep, but they have to be in their rooms by a certain time -no loud music, tv, etc. I even do that with my little ones if they don’t want to sleep at their bedtime. The rule is -you don’t have to sleep, but you have to stay in your room and be quiet! Read, look at books, draw, play with legos -I don’t care -just be quiet! If I were you and they couldn’t get this simple concept, there would be no way they could sleep through the racket I would make at 7am. Your house -YOUR rules!

motherjanegoose

July 21st, 2012
9:26 am

@ JATL…we met a service man, at ATL, who was coming stateside. He was in his mid twenties. His wife had been living with her parents. She was more than ready to move back in with him. He told us that his wife’s mother vacuumed right outside her bedroom door each morning at 7:00 a.m., to make enough noise for her to wake up. NEVER something I would do at that hour…maybe around noon though. I am with you on the mutual respect. Especially before they head out to college.

JATL

July 21st, 2012
10:02 am

@MJG -no, I would never do that either, unless the person(s) were asked to be quiet at certain hours and then completely disregarded it. THEN, vacuuming, dishes clanging, blasting stereo -it would sound like a war zone in that house at 6:00 (when my alarm goes off). Sometimes people have to be given a dose of their own medicine.

FCM on my cell

July 21st, 2012
10:43 am

@ Biker Chick. I have the opposite problem. When mine go stay with Dad they are allowed to go to bed & get up at their leisure. So when they come the first few days of getting back on routine bites everyone.

motherjanegoose

July 21st, 2012
12:26 pm

My daughter once told me this….”Mom, other folks do things differently than we do!” AMEN! I told her that we do what we think is best and everyone else does what works for them. Sometimes, what others do, is a better idea. Both of mine have learned a lot…leaving for college.

The Dixie Diarist

July 21st, 2012
1:23 pm

REST ASSURED

I asked Albert why he was so sleepy.

He said he went to bed late.

I asked him what was late for him.

Five.

His buddy, Herman, screamed … Five in the mornin’!

Albert said … Yep.

We all gave Albert a good look.

He looked back at everybody else. Then he said … It’s no big deal.

Herman said that is really late.

Then I said … It’s not late … it’s early. Anybody see the movie Barton Fink? They said that in the movie. It’s not late … it’s early. Get it?

They seemed to get it.

I asked Albert what he was doing until five.

Playing video games.

Your parents okay with that? The all night part on a school night deal? I hate to seem like a prude … but that’s hard core. Five in the morning.

Albert said his parents sort of care and don’t care. That they let him do what he wants as long as he doesn’t give them any trouble.

Fair enough.

We asked him how much sleep he got before he had to get up and get ready for school.

Albert said five minutes.

Herman said he has to have a good night’s sleep in order function the next day.

Herman looked at Albert.

Albert shrugged his shoulders.

For the rest of class we all watched Albert with great interest and intensity—his head was dunking up and down, his eyelids were closing and opening, his mouth would drop open, his words made no sense, and his class participation grade was not looking so good every minute that passed—while he not so courageously fought off the overwhelming embrace of the great and universal god of sleeping in school, our good friend and leader Hypnos.

The whole scene was hilarious and mesmerizing and full of cozy classroom camaraderie … and we didn’t feel sorry for Albert one bit. Come to find out, it all made him smile, and I think deep down Albert loved the attention. Even though he was asleep the whole time we gave it to him.

http://www.adixiediary.com

catlady

July 21st, 2012
5:33 pm

MJG–my mom would tell me to sleep in, and then start banging pots at 7 outside my bedroom door!

I would never let my kids have a TV or computer in their rooms. Guess I am horribly old-fashioned.

FCM on my cell

July 21st, 2012
8:11 pm

My parents call my house. If I sound asleep they ask why I would be asleep at 7 or 8 Am on the weekend. If I dont answer they leave obnoxious vpice mails about how I never answer the phone.

I am sorely tempted to answer saying I sound tired because I spent the majority of the night banging a hottie picked up at the bar. But I was raised not to lie and to be respectful to my parents. I mean I am 42, is there a rule I cannot sleep in?

motherjanegoose

July 21st, 2012
9:01 pm

@ FCM…My FIL used to call us at midnight or later. We cured him by calling him at 8:00 a.m. on Saturday. Worked for us! Maybe you should use the reverse rule.

FCM on my cell

July 21st, 2012
9:09 pm

@MJG I might just do that. I have called at 9pm before to find they were asleep. I just apologize and hang up.

FCM on my cell

July 21st, 2012
9:11 pm

Oh, I have also gotten calls up to 10PM from them…so I dont think 9pm is wrong to call. just no way for me to know they went to bed early.

catlady

July 22nd, 2012
4:25 pm

My mother had a house rule: Any phone calls after 9 pm had BETTER be because of a death in the family! ‘Cause there was no other reason to call that late!

Another weird rule was no washing hair after 7 pm. Now we had a well-heated and air-conditioned house, but my mother was sure that if you washed your hair after 7 you would get sick!

InSleep Recovery

July 24th, 2012
2:58 pm

Learning good sleep habits refreshes the body and soul, regardless of what you have to do on the next day.