What type of husband/wife is most likely to cheat?

A new unscientific survey from AshleyMadison.com – a dating site for married people – describes what type of husband and wife are most likely to cheat.

From The Huffington Post:

“…he’s likely in his 40s, been married for over 10 years and has two children over 10 years old.”

“Of the 11,453 fathers surveyed (all of whom have accounts on the website), the largest percentage of would-be cheaters work in the IT/Engineering field, a career that’s moved up on the list since placing fifth in 2010’s survey.…”

“What about cheating wives? In May, the site polled 2,865 of their married female members and found that the typical cheating married woman was in her 30s, married for five years or less and had a daughter under three years old. She is also likely to be a teacher, a stay-at-home mom or work in the medical industry, according to a representative from Ashleymadison.com”

What do think of their character sketches? It’s interesting that the man is more likely to be married longer and the woman a shorter time. It sounds like he gets bored and maybe she wasn’t committed to begin with. I wonder what having a daughter has to do with it? What impact do you think the profession has on their likelihood to cheat?

80 comments Add your comment

El Mongol

June 15th, 2012
2:25 am

In my experience men cheat for sex and women cheat for romance. The man most likely to cheat is one that is flattered that a woman is attracted and gives in, but he usually does not want to end his marriage. The woman most likely to cheat is someone looking for an unrealistic romantic relationship based on some idealized view of life. When women cheat they are usually done with their marriage.

Busy Mom

June 15th, 2012
7:08 am

The dishonest kind.

shaggy

June 15th, 2012
7:14 am

Those character sketches are a load of BS.
I think it amounts to what kind of experiences either man or woman has had before they strapped on the old ball and chain.
That is not an absolute rule, as there are those that have only had sexual or emotional experience with their spouse and end their lives that way. MJG and her jusband are probably cut from that mold, and that is great for them, just not the majority of us “horney as youths” souls. Then, there are the players that should really never consider marriage, as they aren’t suited for it, and never will be.
I sowed some major wild oats, until I met the one. She really is everything to me, and I try to be everything for her. She knows my past; she has one too, so what? We know exactly what the other likes, dislikes, and when we need space to be individuals. Then, we can come together as a whole….as a whole, we are undefeatable, and we know it. Yes, the sex is wild and sometimes downright nutty, as we both absolutely love to laugh, and laugh hard we do…practically every day at something on this mixed up, warped planet.

Truthfully, a beautifu, voluptous, reeking of sexuality and naked, strange woman can offer the whole package to me, and I would turn it down, because I have already had that many times over. It is still nice to look at, because there is nothing more beautiful on this planet, than a beautiful woman, but I have what I want…maybe what I was searching for all along.

A

June 15th, 2012
7:29 am

Nice topic with Father’s Day in 2 days!

Voice of Reason

June 15th, 2012
7:46 am

Oh thank God, I still have 6 years of blissful marriage until I fit into this unscientific and completely subjective survey.

Also, if you are already lying and cheating on your spouse why wouldn’t you lie about the information you put on your AshleyMadison profile?

I call BS….

Me

June 15th, 2012
8:08 am

I wonder if it’s considered “cheating” when couples willingly participate in a swinging lifestyle where both husband and wife have casual sex with others… And, before you start responding with a bunch of negative responses just keep in mind that whatever we do doesn’t affect you at all. :)

d

June 15th, 2012
8:34 am

Usually 2 types….1) Those who think they can get away with it, and 2) Those who find themselves in a tempting situation that they just can’t resist. Fortunately, there is a lot the other spouse can do to make sure #2 never happens. And I don’t mean by controlling your spouse…but rather by doing all the things that make your spouse realize that they have the best (in you), and would be idiots to cheat (thus the situations never get that tempting).

And by the way…nagging, complaining, neglecting, and criticizing are NOT the way to insulate the relationship…..:( Finding out what is important (time together, small tokens, sex, praise, etc) seems to work well.

Techmom

June 15th, 2012
8:41 am

Too many topics on cheating spouses and what makes a cheating spouse lately…

@Me I don’t think it’s cheating b/c cheating involves some kind of lie or deception and if you are openly telling each other you are doing this, then I guess it’s fine for you two. I do not know however how a marriage can last long term when you’re willing to spend the intimate times with someone, anyone, other than your spouse. I just think at some point, one of you will get hurt.

☺☻Have A Smile!

June 15th, 2012
8:44 am

“It sounds like he gets bored and maybe she wasn’t committed to begin with. ”

This completely ignores the REAL likelihood, like the gentleman (or wife) is not being kept content & satisfied by their spouse.

How many women reduce the frequency of sex, use it as a tool for control (or lack of for “punishment”), or are far too prudish when it comes to sexually satisfying their spouse? And before anyone screams, I am talking about sex within reasonable expectations.

When one can’t find it at home, one tends to go shopping elsewhere…

Cheating may be breaking your vows, but remember ladies, you took a vow to love & cherish. Intentionally withholding sex, affection, etc. from your husband is not honoring your vows & is terrible.

Voice of Reason

June 15th, 2012
8:58 am

Speaking of vows, and totally of topic, but how many of you had “to love, honor, and obey” in your wedding vows?

I didn’t and we made sure we didn’t, but I am just curious as to what time that stopped. Completely curious is all.

Voice of Reason

June 15th, 2012
8:58 am

Aquagirl

June 15th, 2012
9:13 am

or are far too prudish when it comes to sexually satisfying their spouse? And before anyone screams, I am talking about sex within reasonable expectations.

“Reasonable expectations” are in the mind of the beholder. And if you marry a beholder who does not share what you consider reasonable expectations, please don’t use that as an excuse to cheat. Some people just don’t dig doing X, Y, or Z. Marrying them with the expectation they will step up their game is not realistic.

Name (required)

June 15th, 2012
9:19 am

clyde

June 15th, 2012
9:25 am

The live ones are more inclined to cheat.

catlady

June 15th, 2012
9:31 am

Who cheats? The ones who are unhappy. They think it will make them happy. Maybe it does, for a while, but there are still these unresolved issues (and perhaps, guilt) that continue to make them less satisfied. I don’t think too many married people cheat with impunity.

Augusta

June 15th, 2012
9:33 am

I think people cheat because they get bored. Routine can become very boring…..we all had a great time in our 20’s, settled down in our 30’s, had kids, bought the house, go to work, etc…..people get stuck in a routine. I can’t stand routine…..I am very spontaneous. I’ve mentioned this before, but sometimes when the kids are with the grands, Hubby will come home from work Friday night, and I’ll have our bags packed, and in the car, ready to roll…….yes I let him relax for a few, but then we just go……just get in the car and drive…….no destination in mind….just the two of us spending quality time together.

And, As Shaggy said, we need our individual time to come together as a whole. We need to be ourselves. We throw so much of ourselves into a relationship, that sometimes we get lost. Know what I mean? So I like to shake things up a bit here and there.

Augusta

June 15th, 2012
9:34 am

My husband says I was born with a spoon, cuz it’s my job to stir things up….LOL

catlady

June 15th, 2012
9:35 am

Voice of Reason: 1973 We didn’t. We didn’t get proclaimed “man and wife” either.

homeschooler

June 15th, 2012
9:36 am

ditto everything El Mongol said.
@ Voice..that was not in my wedding vows. I got married in 1997 at a Presbyterian Church. My friends who were married in Baptist churches either had it included or left out but it was part of the standard for those churches.

I also think opportunity plays a big part. A lot of cops, politicians and men who travel for work have much more opportunity b/c women are often throwing themselves at them or they are unlikely to get caught. It’s easy to say “I would never cheat” if you don’t have anyone offering you sex.

Regular poster remaining anonymous

June 15th, 2012
10:02 am

I have an intimate male married friend that I have been very close to for about 8 years, and he cheats for some of the reasons already posted by Have A Smile amd Augusta. No individual time, always has to account for every second, nagging, nastiness in general, withholding sex and even affection are all factors. He will never leave his wife and son, though. Not saying any of it is right, just that it is.

  

June 15th, 2012
10:09 am

“Reasonable expectations” are in the mind of the beholder.

Yes but in general terms they are considered what would be acceptable by the average person. There are always exceptions.

please don’t use that as an excuse to cheat.

Please stop making excuses for those who simply aren’t willing to keep their man happy when they can easily make the decision to do so.

While no one may necessarily pursue an “excuse” for sex outside of marriage, it is not reasonable to expect one to live in a sexless marriage.

Hmmmmmmmm

June 15th, 2012
10:17 am

Amazing….. IMHO, there is NEVER any reason to cheat… I mean hey, if you don’t want to be married then get unmarried… It’s simply amazing how many people make excuses for men and women to be low life scum bags…. Only in America!

General Public

June 15th, 2012
10:25 am

“Only in America!”

Hardly.

Aquagirl

June 15th, 2012
10:32 am

Please stop making excuses for those who simply aren’t willing to keep their man happy when they can easily make the decision to do so.

So you consider angry wives out of line if they’re not having sex—why is it a woman’s job to keep her husband happy, but the reverse isn’t true?

JOD

June 15th, 2012
10:33 am

@homeschooler – Cops call them ‘badge bunnies’, and they do exist. Enough cops have been in the news for inappropriate acts on the job to show that some at least give in to ‘temptation.’

@Hmmm… – I agree. At the end of the day, you are who you are, and if you don’t want to be married, don’t be.

Hmmmmmmmm

June 15th, 2012
10:37 am

@JOD It really is that simple…..

@General Public Yeah, your right…. Honor and integrity is very hard to find, anywhere in the world… Kinda Pathetic…

married IT guy over 40

June 15th, 2012
10:44 am

seeking married stay-at-home mom in her 30s for romance & more

Augusta

June 15th, 2012
10:52 am

I hear alot about men cheating because their woman isn’t making them happy sexually. Guess what, that road goes both ways. It is rare, but I have had several friends who don’t get enough sex from their man……

FCM on my cell

June 15th, 2012
11:11 am

@Techmom…too many? I have not seen this topic in awhile. I admit it is not a fav of mineb/c there is really not any new insight to be gained. It is not even a new phenom. many biblical references to adultry.

In the end people cheat because they choose to. It, like so much in life is about personal integrity, responsibility and the choices we make.

A reader

June 15th, 2012
11:39 am

Consider the source of this “poll”. I think it is more valid to say that the men who have an account on AshleyMadison are more likely to say they have been married a long time and are in IT and the woman are more likely to say they have not been married a long time and are stay at home moms. Whether that is the truth, well if they are on AshleyMadison then they are already a proven liar!

Many people who cheat have low self esteem and are looking for an ego boost. An affair is a fantasy and all the sneaking around and lying is part of the fun. They rarely think about the consequences until they are caught.

Augusta

June 15th, 2012
12:28 pm

Then they say “I’m sorry”……BS!!! You were sorry you got caught!!! If you were really sorry for your actions, you would have thought about how your actions have consequences. And those consequences will affect your entire family!

Every time I see someone famous caught cheating, they think a simple “I’m sorry” makes it all better. It doesn’t!

jarvis

June 15th, 2012
12:34 pm

@Techmom, I think the last cheating spouse topic was all of the way back on Valentine’s Day.

I don’t think cheating has as much to do with age as it does with ashleymadison.com’s targeted demographic.

Anthony

June 15th, 2012
1:01 pm

I’m an educator. Women in the profession cheat A LOT. Co-workers are usually the one’s their dong it with. Been approached quite often. It’s wrong and it gets real messy;

lisa

June 15th, 2012
1:01 pm

Augusta, I’m one that’s on the other side. May happen every 4-6 months at most yet I’ve never ran around on him. I love him very much and I know he’s struggling with a very personal issue but at times I do wonder how long I can keep going like this. Sometimes it’s not the one whose holding outs choice….age just seems to become an issue for a lot of guys.

Roger Clemens

June 15th, 2012
1:02 pm

I cheated on my wife with a 1-hit wonder country singer. She forgave me and took me back and even “helped” me out in a little legal jam I am currently trying to skate on. Good thing she stuck by me, that girl I had the affair with don’t look so hot these days.

pj

June 15th, 2012
1:22 pm

It has happened three times in my circle in the last couple of years. Two of them are brothers and their dad was a “cad” to their mom, so I think that can have something to do with it. Both these guys gave no consideration to what it would do to their wives or children; one of them begged to get his wife back after he found out the financial repercussions. Before that he had happily told her “I’m in love and you’ll find someone to love too.” (She did – after the divorce). All of our friends lost respect for both of them because of how they handled it – lying/cheating/leaving easily found evidence – a total package of disrespect, rather than getting divorced first. On the topic of parental influences, a female friend of mine was the daughter of “the other woman” that her biological father never left his married family for. She tended to have wavier boundaries than a lot of people.

lisa

June 15th, 2012
1:26 pm

I work with a guy who’s brother is a prominent Doctor. He has had fling going on for about 18 years and now that his kids are grown, he’s finally leaving his wife. I think he’s a low life scum for what he’s done but he did manage to hide it all this time.

SHATTERED

June 15th, 2012
1:32 pm

A selfish, arrogant husband that only cares about his own satisfaction and pleasure. Thats the kind of man that cheated on me. He was blinded by the fact that women flock to him because he is tall and handsome. He let it go to his head and that was all that mattered. He wanted to be with anyone that wanted him.
Now I’m a bitter wife who missed out on love from her husband for 13 years…and NOW he says hes ready for me! I DONT THINK SO!!

Nikki

June 15th, 2012
1:36 pm

I hate how these conversations almost always boil down to blaming the wife and what she should have been doing to keep her husband happy. If husbands would do more to please their wives outside of the bedroom, husbands would get more of what they wanted inside the bedroom!

Instead, many husbands expect their wives to cook, clean, raise the kids almost single-handedly, work full-time and manage all the details for keeping the family organized and functioning, while they sit back and wait to be serviced in every way. Many wives are worn out and full of resentment. If you want different results, try supplying proper motivation. Happy wife, happy life!

Augusta

June 15th, 2012
2:10 pm

@Nikki You hit the nail on the head. I was going to say that exact same thing. Thank you!!

Peter

June 15th, 2012
2:22 pm

Self centered… self serving type of folks….not able to keep a commitment…..never imagine the pain it causes others..

Unless they have played it all out in their head after they have gotten caught…….and it is OK with them.

Then we go back to the first statement……

Stacey

June 15th, 2012
2:37 pm

I love how the women get the blame on here from some of these post. It is hard to judge unless you have walked thru someone’s shoe who has been cheated on. I was married for 17 years to the same man. Sex was never an issue. It was actually great in my book. After sex I wanted the intimacy and togetherness with the now ex. He didnt seem to want that. I worked two jobs to put him thru school and took care of the house. Yes we fought over money. He wanted to spend it and I wanted to save it. Then he met his now wife at work. He spent time going back and forth. Til finally he filed for divorce and did nothing. I pushed very hard to be divorced.

To This day he still tries to maintain control and uses our kids as the way to try maintain control. He is so miserable now and its really sad. I have never been more happier in my life than I am right now. I have discovered how unhappy I was during the marriage. After the anger, I realized that the breakdown in communication of the marriage was 50% my fault and 50% his fault. The affair is all his to own. I will never take blame for that. He made a choice and he could have chosen not to.

No matter who cheats the consequences in the end are always the hardest to overcome. It causes alot of pain, hurt, and distruction no matter who cheats. When the cheating spouse thinks it wont hurt anyone. No it hurts the entire family, extended family, and friends.

My advice dont cheat its not worth it and divorce is very hard to recover from.

JATL

June 15th, 2012
3:06 pm

@hmmmm -if it were that easy, fewer people would cheat! When you start factoring in kids, finances and all the other mess, divorce really isn’t just a simple little visit to the courthouse. I’m not happy, but I’m not cheating -however, I can’t 100% say for certain that I wouldn’t at this point. I am deeply dissatisfied! If divorce really were so easy, then I would have done it a long time ago.

@Nikki -You are SO right! My husband doesn’t make me happy and hasn’t for a long time. He knows it and seemingly doesn’t care enough to truly do some things to change it, although at this point I don’t think I could ever get my feelings back for him. I think a lot of people just get worn down through the years until they finally break, and this includes many women who have been expected to do it all -and then some.

pj

June 15th, 2012
3:08 pm

anonymous poster: some of the behaviors your friend uses as an excuse for cheating are probably related to the fact that his wife suspects and might even be 99% sure that he IS cheating.

FCM on my cell

June 15th, 2012
3:49 pm

All the “reasons” being given are just excuses to justify the choice the cheating parties made. justify totheselves or others

markie mark

June 15th, 2012
4:09 pm

wow…I feel like the guy in the commercial when everyone is complaining about the banks and he loves his….I have been married 23 years…some days great, some days hell, but I knew I would never find anyone better. We still LIKE each other, and thats a great basis. We got married when I was 28 and she was 40. My first, her second.

I dont really understand some of the posts on here from people roughly my age (52). We werent raised in the Neanderthal 50’s….I was raised in the late 60’s, early 70’s, when women were demanding respect. How do you women end up putting up with jerks that dont share the load? I dont understand that mental approach or willingness to put up with it long….. My best friend has been married longer than me, and we both agree….it aint luck, its longterm dedication and work. And if one partner isnt into that….well, folks, we only get one life. Use it or lose it.

  

June 15th, 2012
4:21 pm

If husbands would do more to please their wives outside of the bedroom, husbands would get more of what they wanted inside the bedroom!

Nope. That blanket statement does not cover many typical situations where the husband tries the “right” way several times before becoming frustrated, upset, and desparate.

There seems to be some kind of sickening double standard where (some, thankfully not all) appear to have this idea that one can neglect (& “punish”) a loving spouse for some inate bullsh|t insecurity and yet expect them to just “suck it up.”

I’m not saying cheating is ever right. But like Chris Rock said, I understand.

  

June 15th, 2012
4:24 pm

anonymous poster: some of the behaviors your friend uses as an excuse for cheating are probably related to the fact that his wife suspects and might even be 99% sure that he IS cheating.

Who’s friend? What are you talking about?

That’s circular logic and it doesn’t work.

☺☻Have A Smile!

June 15th, 2012
4:31 pm

I love how the women get the blame on here from some of these post.

Well, not exactly, Stacey. Just in some cases, certain women deserve it.

I think the theme was to bring up the subject as there are a lot of hen-pecked men out there. Please remember that in our society, more and more men are treated as unneeded sources of income or sperm donors, and not like human being with needs & feelings.

On the other hand, absolutely a man has a responsibility to keep his woman/girlfriend/wife etc. happy and fullfilled. Lord knows, ideally the effort is returned and everybody’s happy.

Sorry to hear about your situation. He sounds like quite a douche. :(

On the other hand, I got accused of cheating when I didn’t and had enough finally. It works both ways I guess.

missnadine

June 15th, 2012
5:27 pm

Honestly, I think every person, male or female ,would cheat at least once if it were guaranteed that they wouldn’t get caught.

Just a guess, but...

June 15th, 2012
6:02 pm

Oh, I don’t know, a guy who’s married to a neurotic, control freak, overly competitive girl. I bet your dad is proud of the subject matter 2 days before Fathers day! Classy!

Is it really cheating?

June 15th, 2012
7:39 pm

Is it really cheating, or is it that humans are just too hot to resist? We’re hot. Face it. And there’s nuthin’ that no one can do to stop us no how, no way.

Regular poster remaining anonymous

June 15th, 2012
8:31 pm

@pj, his wife has it great, wish I had it so well with my ex (who cheated on me). Stay at home mom, homeschools the child, new car every few years, fat house in Gwinnett with all the trimmings. I’ve heard the nastiness in her voice, critical of every move he makes. Some people (my ex was one) want the marriage to end but don’t have the guts to end it themselves…so they are as miserable as humanly possible to their spouse in the hopes that HE/SHE I’ll say enough. Worked like that for me, but he is hanging on for the child. Feel sorry for both of them.

It's not so Hard!

June 15th, 2012
9:43 pm

As a private investigator, I’ve seen it all and heard it all…women and men are equally guilty, especially in this day and age..I recently even had a case where a MARRIED man hired me to “watch” his mistress as he suspected she was sleeping with others….

My advice to men and women who travel for a living….don’t go to places where trouble can occur (like bars or someone’s home) and just stay in your hotel room when work is over…or go alone to a movie (if safe to do so, especially women)…whatever to avoid sexual temptations…they can come from anywhors, etc.)ere, everywhere at anytime!

If you’re married, don’t even consider cheating if you have a family because you don’t have a CLUE what effect you are about to have on so many lives (children, spouse, in-laws, friends, neighbors, co-workers, etc)…it just isn’t worth it…

Otherwise, you’ll see me get involved….well….actually you won’t until I’m done!

zeke

June 16th, 2012
9:37 am

Women because of some unrealistic idea of what marriage and romance should be! Men because of a nagging woman!

Single Man

June 16th, 2012
10:23 am

When a husband falsely accuses his wife of cheating with me, usually within a month, it becomes reality. By the way, since I’m single, it’s not cheating for me, the contract of marriage was between them.

Single Man

June 16th, 2012
10:28 am

Theresa Giarrusso, nice family, where’s the husband? He must have needed a wife with a trace of CLASS!

Spartacus

June 16th, 2012
12:54 pm

Geez. nice topic for Father’s Day!!

What’s next? On Mother’s Day…are you gonna post a topic about menstrual cycles??

Dave

June 16th, 2012
2:40 pm

People cheat because marriage has become obsolete,

San

June 16th, 2012
3:04 pm

My ex- husband cheated with someone at church. They both sit in church and act like they are saints. They are both in their 50’s. His excuse was he was tired of doing the same thing. Two sinners in the church.

itpdude

June 16th, 2012
4:06 pm

Eatin’ ain’t cheatin’.

southern opinion

June 16th, 2012
5:26 pm

WOW! My marriage ended almost like the poll! 13 years – 2 kids (4 and 8), husband was 38 years old and an engineer, stay-at-home mom (also a teacher). In reality the marriage should never have happened. Being divorced not so great either.

nelson

June 16th, 2012
5:36 pm

The most likely type of person to cheat on his wife is a man[they are polygmous by nature.] The second most likely in the new frontier marriage is the other man in the relationship.
The third most likely type is a woman that has seen an irresistible person[myself]. It is a curse I have learned to live with.

Kat

June 16th, 2012
6:13 pm

Zeke said, “Women because of some unrealistic idea of what marriage and romance should be! Men because of a nagging woman!” Apparently, men promised to do something at some point and the woman has to remind him of all of the unrealistic expectations placed upon him.

killa

June 16th, 2012
6:38 pm

Men aren’t meant to be with 1 vagina forever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

grandpapeckinpah

June 16th, 2012
6:58 pm

all of this self-righteousness is tickling. can we not just agree that the monogamy experiment has been a complete failure for human beings, and just go with what is obviously natural? if it’s expected, then no one gets hurt!

Brock

June 16th, 2012
7:05 pm

I think the people that do cheat, do it because they can. The opportunity presents itself. If there is chemistry and they find each other attractive, they will seize that opportunity. Simple as that. There is no complicated formula.

Butter Pecan

June 16th, 2012
7:54 pm

My husband and I are happily married and have chosen not to have children. Children and porn are the end of every happy marriage. People are happy until kids come along. A lot of you will deny this, but see how many couples are actually having sex once kids are in the picture. The husband stops getting broken off cause the wife is tired and hormonal and then he starts getting his kicks online. Y’all can have that!

Holly

June 16th, 2012
9:03 pm

Sometimes people cheat when they are unhappy with the marriage and want to escape it, but don’t want to be alone. In other words, they go look for someone else before leaving the marriage. This is the most selfish act I can think of because the cheater moves on seamlessly from one person to the next, while the spouse is broad-sided and in shock that the marriage is over. Infidelity is a coward’s way of dealing with things.

Holly

June 16th, 2012
9:08 pm

I forgot to mention my opinion on the the comment by Single Man above which says,
“By the way, since I’m single, it’s not cheating for me, the contract of marriage was between them.”

The definition of adultery is sexual intercourse between a married person and a person who is not his or her spouse. If you have an affair with a married woman, you are committing adultery. Her husband can also sue you in court for it.

My Two Cents

June 17th, 2012
12:00 am

One of my divorced male friends talks about his ex being so controlling and negative. She might be that
way because he is a traveling salesman and obviously has had many on the road affairs with co-workers and women he meets in other cities. I don’t see how this guy can live with himself but to each his own. Somehow, he find his way to the church pew every Sunday morning…imagine that!!!

Edward

June 17th, 2012
11:18 am

Wow, “…a dating site for married people.” So, tell me again how my 10+ year monogamous relationship with my same-gender partner is destroying the sanctity of your marriage?

Mark

June 17th, 2012
9:23 pm

The selfish, short sighted ones that don’t care about their own integrity, or anyone else’s well being.

Short answer

June 18th, 2012
1:04 am

Here is the answer question as to why women cheat. They have expectations, and if those are not met, it’s certainly not their fault. Somebody else must be accountable. If you are making enough money to satisfy them, then you don’t spend enough time with them or communicate. There is always something that doesnt suit them. The whole “for better and for worse” vow is a complete crock. Women can hardly keep a straight face at a wedding when those words are spoken. Look around the room at the next wedding you attend and check the eye roles at that point in the ceremony.

☺☻Have A Smile!

June 18th, 2012
9:04 am

People are happy until kids come along. A lot of you will deny this, but see how many couples are actually having sex once kids are in the picture.

Hello, exactly!!

hey have expectations, and if those are not met, it’s certainly not their fault.

Yep! Because we all “know”, as society teaches us, women are angelic, innocent beings who, if they cheat, “have needs that are unfulfilled” or “it must be the man’s fault” somehow.

FCM

June 18th, 2012
10:50 am

one theory from my DAD:

Men marry thinking she will never change. Women marry thinking he will change.

Blame it on Rio

June 18th, 2012
11:09 am

If a single woman knowingly cheats with a married man, than she deserves whatever happens next. Either she ends up empty-handed because he has too much to lose (custody, assets, career), or he does divorce and she is now in a honest relationship with a dishonest/untrustworthy/selfish man. Nobody should feel sorry for her.

If a married woman cheats, particularly with kids at home, than she is dishonest/untrustworthy/selfish and nobody should feel sorry for her either. Period. No excuses. If she cheats because her husband is cheating, that is no excuse. Tell him to leave and then change the door locks. She will have her dignity and self-respect, which will also teach her children a valuable lesson about how adults should handle setbacks in their life.

Cheating is selfish behavior. It’s a me-first attitude. The betrayal lasts a lifetime for the injured party, whereas the participant simply sees it as an exciting cure for boredom. The only response should be “no excuses, your out of the house. Pack and leave.”

non committal mind reader

June 18th, 2012
12:03 pm

On the other hand, I got accused of cheating when I didn’t and had enough finally. It works both ways I guess.

Bingo. During my first wifes 2nd pregnancy, I got blamed for cheating. I did not cheat. I don’t think anyone realizes what a no win situation that is. Everyone treats you like you cheated, yet you cannot prove you didn’t cheat.

I stuck out the marriage for an astounding 10 additional sexless years. My ex-wife was absolutely astounded when I asked for a divorce… like I wanted to spend my remaining years in a sexless marriage with her. We no longer even slept in the same bedroom together. At the divorce, she comes up with this: ” I thought he was cheating, so I cut him off. I couldn’t trust that he wouldn’t bring home a disease so I cut him off.

Amazing.

cleared mind

June 18th, 2012
4:27 pm

Thanks to everyone for your posts! I will not to cheat my wife! I was having a crisis!
We both have 35 years old, I do work and she takes care of our daughter (2 years), we are not any religion followers (just legally married), and we have a verbal agreement… cheating is simply wrong and is the end of the marriage, nobody can trust anyone who cheat (even once), cheated can choose to forgive, but cannot forget.
Obviously the sex is not the same as we began (14 years ago), and with a child at home there is not the same intimacy, not having regular sex always make me irritable (regular for us is every two days), I have been thinking cheat on her but there is not valid reason for doing it (this was my crisis). She doesn’t deserve that and I love her.

Thomas

June 19th, 2012
10:34 am

Don’t know about the other stats, but in all the books about how to choose the sex of your child, a girl baby is more likely if the woman does NOT orgasm. So it’s my take that is if she has a girl baby, she is not getting satisfied at home… just my two cents…