One of our regulars sent me a sad note. She recently miscarried and is having a hard time dealing with it. She hoped other moms who have experienced similar pain can help her. Here’s what she wrote:
“I would never have hoped that this would be a topic, but now it is close to my heart. Instead of announcing No. 2 in March, I am now explaining to a handful of people that I had a miscarriage. It has been the most painful experience of my life, even if you discount that I endured the D&C with only a spinal (meaning I was awake – a first for my OB/GYN). I’m wondering how others may have talked about this with their children, as we had told our daughter, and now she mentions the baby periodically. I’m in agony when she does, but I try to answer her questions.”
So what should she do to A. Deal with the pain of losing the baby and B. Help her child be comfortable with the miscarriage without upsetting herself each time it’s brought up? (I thought maybe tell the child to ask daddy the questions so the questions are being answered but mom wouldn’t have to be reminded all the time.) What is the best way to heal from a miscarriage? Do you dive right back into another pregnancy? Do you do something outward (like a grave or memorial) to acknowledge the lost baby? What would help this mom deal with her sadness and help her family heal?