Mom needs help: How do you motivate husband to lose weight?

A mom sent me a note asking for our help. Her husband has put on 40 pounds in three years. He is always eating and does an occasional workout. She has tried to nicely talk about the subject and he blows it off.  She cooks healthy meals and has healthy snacks around but he’s still making bad choices, and it sounds like inappropriate portion sizes.

So I think she is looking for a way to help him realize he needs to lose weight and take better care of himself without causing World War III!

This mom has come to us in all sincerity looking for help so please offer your best constructive advice without being mean or judgmental.

How can she approach this with her husband so he realizes how much weight he’s put on? How can she help him make better choices or convince him to get with a diet/exercise plan or program?

I think our Guy Regulars can really help with this question. What would be a way your wife could approach you about this and you be receptive to the idea?

50 comments Add your comment

motherjanegoose

March 13th, 2012
1:30 pm

Good Luck!

As far as health or personal lifestyle choices, I have RARELY been able to convince my husband to do ANYTHING. He eats iceberg lettuce and thinks it is healthy. I cannot tell you how many times I have seen him pick things off of his plate. Last night it was blueberries, they came out of the bowl of fresh fruit. I try to tell him that things with intense color are better for you. He likes corn and bananas…LOL.

That being said, we have both been dieting for almost 2 months. He has lost 27 pounds and I have lost 17. We will see how long our will power lasts. He dieted before and lost 50 pounds only to gain it all back. I will never be a thin person but really needed to get myself back on track and lose weight. Our son lost 50 pounds about a year ago and has kept it off. We all love food! Our daughter is running to prepare for a 5 K race and she looks good.

Figment

March 13th, 2012
1:49 pm

IMO there’s really not much you can do. The desire to lose weight has to come from the person that needs to lose the weight. Sounds like she’s doing what she can to encourage good habits but the husband isn’t ready to lose the weight. And he may never be.

Weight loss is a very personal thing, having someone else tell you that you need to lose weight will probably only make things worse. At least that’s been my personal experience.

Augusta

March 13th, 2012
2:02 pm

Weight Watchers has the best weight loss plan. NOTHING is taboo, you can eat anything you want. I think when we hear the word “diet”, we get nervous knowing that there are certain foods we should stay away from. I don’t like that.

Portion control. You should not have a meat on your plate bigger than your fist. You should have color on your plate too. Remember, we eat with our eyes first, so the presentation needs to be colorful. Experiment with new foods. Fish at least once or twice a week, and make one meal a week meatless. Serve salads with every meal. Salad could be something as simple as a lettuce leaf, with a piece of pineapple and some cottage cheese. OR cucumbers and onions with a little red wine vinegar…….cut back on your starches.

Read the nutrition labels, educate yourself on sodium, carbs, sugars, protiens, etc. Get rid of any veggies in a can, you would be shocked at the amount of sodium in a can of green beans. Buy fresh or frozen. Be wary of “low fat” and Sugar Free. When taking the fat out, something else has to go in……

Do not buy prepared meals, such as Hamburger Helper. Again, read the label……

Have hubby help in meal preparations. Not only helping to decide what’s for dinner, but actually help with the menu’s, do some shopping, and help cook the food too. I’m amazed at how many people really do not know who to cook. It’s not that hard, once you figure it all out.

Go to the local Farmer’s Markets and get fresh produce. I can’t wait for them all to start up in May.

ALCOHOL is another fatening thing……especially beer. I love to drink red wine, but I have to limit myself to 2 glasses a day……

But most importantly, exercise, exercise, exercise, and just get outside. Buy a couple of bikes, and bike around your neighborhood. We all have bikes, and ride at least once a week.

And stay away from sodas, drink more water. Even diet drinks are bad for you. I refuse to put any artifical sweetners in our bodies…..

usually lurking

March 13th, 2012
2:04 pm

I suspect her hubby already knows he’s overweight and doesn’t want to be nagged about it. My husband lost about 60 pounds and has kept it off. The triggers that finally motivated him were twofold – his doctor told him he was pre-diabetic and that was also about the same time that the new Scout health forms were introduced that had the height-weight requirements for high adventure – as a Scout leader he didn’t want to miss out. As a family, we changed our whole approach to food and meals – we didn’t “diet” – we changed our lifestyle. He lost the weight, and the whole family eats healthier as a result.

jarvis

March 13th, 2012
2:10 pm

Augusta

March 13th, 2012
2:29 pm

The other thing you can do, is withhold sex. Tell him you are turned off by his weight and if he ever wants it again, he needs to get serious……

mystery poster

March 13th, 2012
2:39 pm

I am the one who asked Theresa to run this question. Thanks for the suggestions. I have tried most of them and I am thinking he is just not ready and I do not want to be a nag. I keep hoping some great idea is going to hit me to help him help himself. I am concerned for his health mostly given his family history of stroke, diabetes and cancer. His physician is concerned too. We have kids and I want him to be around for a long time. I also hate that he cannot wear some of the clothes I love to see him in.

I found the website http://www.skinnytaste.com and have been able to make some new and very tasty recipes. I highly recommend it to anyone who enjoys cooking and wants flavorful options.

motherjanegoose

March 13th, 2012
2:54 pm

@mystery…I sincerely wish you the best. Around here, I can cook the most healthful meals and that did not help. Hubby would eat a bag of chips/soda or milk/oreos for a snack at bed time. I did not buy these things…he did. Now, we are eating low carb yogurt ( 60 calories and 4 carbs). I come from a family where people tend to be big. He does not. I am proud that he has decided to start the diet himself and making myself do it too, as I needed to get started! I do not know how you can make another person lose weight. You have to want to do it yourself. My husband has an ankle injury and cannot walk very far. No exercising here for us together.

motherjanegoose

March 13th, 2012
2:55 pm

Enter your comments here

shaggy

March 13th, 2012
2:58 pm

The answer is an active lifestyle.
Maybe I am lucky, but I eat pretty much what I want, and that includes drinking beer, the nectar of the gods..the football/baseball gods anyway.

I get off my duff and work it baby, and we ain’t talking some crappy, trend of the moment exercise routine. I go do stuff, like walk for miles, with various toys on my back, or just climb some insanely huge piece of rock, no matter what it takes to get there. I have climbed for 12 hours solid in waist/chest high snow, only to slide down it on my butt/back…no skis.

You could find out what your fellow really likes to do that will burn some serious calories. Then, do it with him. My honey doesn’t do that…no bathrooms out there, but she definitely benefits from mine with some serious bedroom antics, because I am fit and have that energy.

As you become active, it becomes easier to be active. It really is that simple…for me anyway.
Burn some calories and build some muscle mass strength to use later. Live life vertical.

Techmom

March 13th, 2012
2:58 pm

The only time my husband has been successful at losing weight has been when HE wanted to; not me. He has a family history of obesity, high blood pressure, diabetes, etc. BUT that has been little motivation to get off his butt. He did really great when his office had an in-house gym and they even subsidized the personal trainer. He didn’t want to show up at a weigh-in having lost nothing. Unfortunately they phased that out but I will say that a lot of the eating habits have stuck. Portion control and beer are probably his two biggest stumbling blocks.

I pretty much do the grocery shopping so I’ve had to just make sure that most of what I buy is low-fat and healthy. We use a menu-planning website now for our main meals and he usually picks them and then I shop. This helped resolved another one of our disagreements (that no one could ever decide what was for dinner!) But if we know already what we’re having for dinner that night and have all the ingredients on hand, we’re less likely to just pick something up or eat out.

We both picked up cycling last year. We try to cycle 2-3 days a week when it’s warm enough (I am so happy daylight savings started this week so we can go back to cycling). We always feel better when we’re done but the good part about doing it together is that even if one of you doesn’t feel motivated, the one usually will drag you along anyway. I figure even if I don’t need to lose weight, my heart can use it (heart disease is one the number one killer of women!)

P.S. the no sex thing doesn’t really work and will only cause him to resent you if he’s anything like my husband

mystery poster

March 13th, 2012
3:03 pm

@Techmom, agreed on the sex thing. Plus why punish myself? I do want to take up tennis, so maybe if I do that it will inspire him.

JOD

March 13th, 2012
3:07 pm

Not sure how, but I got filtered here. Won’t write it again.

homeschooler

March 13th, 2012
3:08 pm

Maybe the grass is always greener. My husband is 5′8 and 145 lbs. Has been since high school. Eats Oatmeal and honey everyday for breakfast and thinks everything in a jar or box is poison. Works out daily. We eat healthy but it could never be healthy enough for him. I’d enjoy just one day of him eating something amazing like home made chocolate chip cookies or shrimp and grits loaded with butter and showing a real appreciation for something that tastes good. :-)
Anyway, I wonder how different these comments would be if it was a man saying his wife needs to lose weight. hmm….

Tonya C.

March 13th, 2012
3:10 pm

mystery poster:

I just had this conversation with my husband again last night. I framed it in the ‘I am concerned for your long-term health’ way…let’s hope he heard me. Please don’t take Augusta’s advice about not having intimate relations with your spouse. That it a recipe for trouble, not weight loss.

Techmom

March 13th, 2012
3:11 pm

I would definitely encourage him to join you. He might be intimidated so maybe you can find a group lesson where you can go learn together. I found a cycling club nearby that had a beginner’s group (with people who weren’t ultra-skinny and weren’t trying to win any races) and after I talked it up, he bought a bike for himself… it literally took me going 3 times over the course of a couple of weeks.

catlady

March 13th, 2012
3:15 pm

Don’t keep /buy anything that he should not eat. Don’t even go on those aisles in the store! Cook less food–natural portion control. He can’t have seconds if there is not anything available. Serve yourself and the children first. Cook lighter. Use smaller plates. Throw away our fry pan.Keep only raw fruits and vegetalbes for snacking. Purge your cabinets. Buy more “healthy” bread–many overweight folks are not tempted by it. YOU provide the food, he decides how much to eat, but you can control how much is available for eating.

If he is buying terrible food for lunch, there is not much you can do. He is an adult, and controls money also. You might try to “save money” by packing his lunch, if he would agree, and use the money saved for something special.

same boat

March 13th, 2012
3:34 pm

I so understand. My husband is a very picky eater, won’t eat most veggies, the only fruit I think I have seen him eat, two apples and some grapes in the 21+ years I have known him. His idea of losing weight is eating tuna fish loaded with mayo, and salad which is covered in dressing. He would be happy to live off pizza, pasta and steak.
We both need to lose weight. I have lost before, but then slip into his eating habits. Dairy is a big no no for me, but he loves cheese. Whatever he eats is covered in something, if he cooks before I get home, it is his way. When I cook something healthy, he then spends another 10 minutes or so to get it his way, cheesy, gloppy and sloppy. His major food groups are cheese, garlic and red sauce and lot of each.
Neither of us is young anymore so getting into shape and staying in shape is important to me. I joined a gym back in December and asked him to workout with me. I suggested using the pool to minimize the stress on his knees. Nope he won’t go, so I go alone. Every night he calls asking when I will be home. I can’t say he puts up a fuss when I go to the gym, but I hear him coming up with reasons he would like me home instead.

motherjanegoose

March 13th, 2012
3:35 pm

comment gone not re-typing

misawa

March 13th, 2012
3:37 pm

This will not be something you want to hear, but there’s not really a lot you can do. He’s the only person that can change himself.

My motivation came from a doctor’s visit when my blood pressure was elevated, which led to a longer discussion about my family tree. I decided I didn’t want to be tied to medication for the rest of my days, so I got active and healthier – I ate better, exercised daily (sometimes only 15 minutes, sometimes longer), and didn’t let anything keep me off track.

Bottom line is, for me, my wife had very little to do with it. She was supportive and encouraging.

I will admit – only because somebody else brought it up first – that the bedroom boom-shack-a-lack-a dances were MUCH better once I was in better shape. :)

shaggy

March 13th, 2012
3:41 pm

same boat,

Your husband sounds exactly like the husband in, “Fried Green Tomatoes”. Ed, if I remember correctly.
Are you Kathy Bates?

Uh, shaggy...

March 13th, 2012
3:59 pm

…that active lifestyly may not work for everyone – take me for example – I was a college athlete back in the ’70’s; had my first major knee surgery in 1973,but that did not slow me down until about age 33, when the pain got unbearable.I have since had 13 knee surgeries on both knees. I married at age 30, and now, at age 59, have gained 29 pounds in the 29 years we have been married.

I have had both knees replaced (one replaced twice), the first on at age 46; because of a severe infection in one knee that was replaced (twice) the ortho told me not to walk over a mile a day because there is nothing left to which to attach any new ligament.

I also have heart problems, for which both my cardiologist and internist have told me to not lift weights, as that puts too much strain on the heart and my result in a John Ritter type blow-out. My BP is a little high, and normal with a minor medication, and my cholesterol is 155, again with minimal medication.

Hence, after being active for most of my early life, and not being able to gain weight, I am now over the weight I would like to be – fortunately, I am 6′4″ tall, so I look “thick” and somewhat pudgy – I hate seeing myself this way and the only thing I can do to lose weight is not eat – but, that is the only thing I do – I do not drink or chase women (couldn’t catch them if I tried) – add to that that I have been unemployed for the past 16 months and I feel like a total loser – and an active lifestyle just ain’t in the cards…

mystery poster

March 13th, 2012
3:59 pm

@shaggy, I expected someone to ask about my appearance and that is fair. I am a size 8 and am 5′6″ tall. I make sure to put makeup on each day and keep my hair stylishly fixed. I certainly will nver grace the SI swimsuit issue, but for someone in my late 30s, I look pretty good and I do make an effort.

I think what everyone is saying is right, he is going to have to make the change himself because he wants to.

Jeff

March 13th, 2012
4:11 pm

The best thing she can do is to be active herself and NOT NAG him constantly about it. Make it more of a “I’m going for a walk, want to go with me?”

If they start doing things together around people that are somewhat physically fit, he may become more motivated.

And, yes, if you use sex as a weapon, it will eventually harm your relationship permanently.

Think about what would motivate you,mas the wife, and what would really piss you off.

Old Grumps

March 13th, 2012
4:32 pm

You’re probably not going to like this.

You are not his mother. He is a grown man and can make his own decisions.

How would this be if the situation were reversed? It’s been my experience that a man would be better off walking into a nest of hornets than he would be if he criticized his wife’s weight – even if he had the best of intentions (health, etc.)

Just a contrarian 2 cents

Miss Priss!

March 13th, 2012
6:23 pm

Sweethearts, when he finds himself a lover … believe me … he’ll start buffing up. You, too!

Fred ™

March 13th, 2012
7:14 pm

Augusta

March 13th, 2012
2:29 pm

The other thing you can do, is withhold sex. Tell him you are turned off by his weight and if he ever wants it again, he needs to get serious……
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

If I was stupid enough to marry a shallow wench like you in the first place, I would blame myself. After I did that, I would tell you to take your wh0re ass the hell out of my house. If that works with YOUR hubby he’s not a man and deserves what he has.

mystery poster

March 13th, 2012
7:38 pm

@Fred, please reread what I said…I said with holding sex was not something I would do. That is cutting your nose off to spite your face. I said I was concerned for his health as is his physician. That I had begun cooking more healthily and had tried to no avail.

mystery poster

March 13th, 2012
7:43 pm

To motivate him to make some behavior change. Someone asked what I looked like (a fair question) and I gave as much info as you can on a blog. I do not remember who said to with hold sex,but that has never been an option. Again, I have tried a lot of what has been suggested and was imply curious if someone had an out of the box idea….the best one is for me to take up a new activity and ask him to come along. But before you call names, make sure you have your facts straight. I love my husband very much and if I did not care I could keep digging his grave with a spoon by cooking crap and keeping him in an unhealthy weight range. Yes, I would like him to look his best too because I have eyes and am human after all…

mystery poster

March 13th, 2012
7:46 pm

@fred reread Techmom’s 2:58 comment and my 3:03 response and then read the hatred you wrote. So glad I am not married to you…

homeschooler

March 13th, 2012
8:06 pm

Wow, Fred. Remember that part where Theresa asked that we not be mean or judgemental? Chill out.

The fact is this is a very big problem for many couples. I know my first comment was not very supportive but, I can imagine that this is very frustrating. Eating right and being fit is important. When two people are not on the same page it is like any other problem. Also, how long have men complained (even if not out loud) that their wives have gained weight and are no longer attractive? Well, women feel the same way. You can believe all you want that “loving” someone automatically makes you physically attractive to them but that is just not true.
I think that most of the time, because the woman controls the grocery shopping and cooking, the family tends to fall into her eating habits so often you don’t see women complaining about their husbands; but I have known a lot of women who complain about their husbands gaining weight. I also firmly believe that when a woman says she wants him to slim down for his health she truly means it but often when a man says that he is just saying what he thinks will not get him into trouble.

I’m kind of on the other side of this having an extremely fit husband and being about 25 lbs overweight myself. I try very hard not to cross that line of being obese because I truly think my husband would not be as attracted to me. Still I don’t work out every day or eat as healthy as he does. If I were to gain 20 or 30 more pounds I know it would really bother him. That doesn’t make him a horrible person. I should be taking care of myself.
I’m sure that mystery poster’s husband knows he should be taking care of himself too but old habits are hard to break. She should not nag but sit down and have a serious conversation about how she feels. (once) then take action with food in the house. Techmom had a great idea about planning menus. I know in my house my husband eats whatever is put in front of him. If you have the control over that, that’s half the battle. If he grocery shops and cooks for himself, you’re kind of screwed in that area.
With spring coming is walking together in the evenings an option? See this doesn’t work for us because if my husband asks me to work out he wants me to run a mini marathon. But “normal” people should be able to enjoy a nightly walk
One more thing I just thought of. 40 lbs is not a lot of weight for a man. You should try to focus on the positive when talking to him. A man can lose 40 lbs in about 6 weeks with very little effort. I know ’cause the men at Weight Watchers used to make me sick. Also encourage him to cut out just one thing that he eats a lot. Drink 1 beer a night instead of 2 or completely cut out soda. Doing something like that will make a huge difference with very little else changing in his daily life. I lost 10 lbs over 6 months just cutting cream and sugar from my coffee.
Good luck!

Dale Noble

March 13th, 2012
8:42 pm

My wife and her family have struggled with weightloss and eating habits for years. As long as I’ve known them. In fact, my wife has probably done every diet out there. However we finally found something that doesn’t feel like a diet at all. The BodyByVi 90 Day Challenge! Thousands have lost weight, and gotten healthy, and had lots of fun doing it!
I would have your husband wake up one morning and tell him “here honey, I have a delicious milkshake for you for breakfast today”. He’ll try and it and like it, and want another for lunch! And before you know it he’ll be feeling better and on his way to losing weight!!

Check out the program here, theres no risk!

http://www.aprildale.myvi.net

catlady

March 13th, 2012
9:06 pm

Folks, I am pretty sure Augusta was making a joke! Good grief!

Mystery poster–keep active, yourself, watch your weight, and have fun being healthy without him. Get a GF or another couple to walk, ride bikes, play tennis, whatever you enjoy. Eventually he will probably miss you and want to be a part of it, but other than keeping only healthy food in the house, I would try to focus on other things.

catlady

March 13th, 2012
9:08 pm

As you are developing healthy interests, if he complains about your being off pursuing them, tell him you need to have some outlet so that when you are a widow you will have something to fall back on!

(yes, that was TIC)

Misty

March 13th, 2012
9:29 pm

Wow! You can’t nag a guy to lose weight. I’m currently losing weight by proper eating and exercise. He did promise me that he’d help me by being my cheerleader when I need one and he did promise to use the elliptical with me. I leave that part up to him but I do remind him that he promised :-) However, I would not be a happy camper if he was losing weight and telling me I needed to. Be careful what you tell your husband about his weight gain.

Jack

March 13th, 2012
9:52 pm

Like the guy said up above weight watchers is for suckers if you REALLY want to lose weight check out http://www.weightbuster.net Why? Because all the info is FREE

BlondeHoney

March 13th, 2012
10:27 pm

@homeschooler, I don’t often agree with you but in this case I am with you 1000%.

Penguinmom

March 14th, 2012
2:05 am

To some extent, it’s up to him not you.

My husband was overweight, had gout, had high blood pressure and wasn’t really changing any of his behaviors.
Until, he got the diabetes diagnosis. That really woke him up because diabetes doesn’t just kill you, it takes away pieces of you a little bit at a time. He immediately started eating healthier, started going to the gym 2 to 3 times a week. He lost at least 60 pounds over several months. He is fitter, stronger and healthier than he has ever been. The key thing was that HE made the decision to change.

My best suggestion would be to try to get him to a doctor to see if the doctor could point out the potential pitfalls of his behavior in a way that would penetrate and make him want to change.

shaggy

March 14th, 2012
7:05 am

mystery poster,

Where did I ask about your appearance? Where.? I did make an observation that same boat’s husband reminded me of “Ed”, Kathy Bate’s husband in “Fried Green Tomatoes”, which is the rare film that presents lesbianism, racism and cannibalism…among other stereotypical behaviors, in a light hearted, southern way. The lades here can attest to me liking to laugh about…well just about everything that constitutes life.

Uh, shaggy… ,

Like I said, maybe I am just lucky, but I have had my own physical challenges as well.
I was in an accident in the late 90s that broke both of my legs, left in two places. I had to learn how to walk again. Over a year and a half to rehabilitate, and loads of wrenching pain…every day. The doctors told me what I would be able to do…you will have arthritis, you will have a pretty significant limp, it’s too bad you won’t be able to do this or that. I told the doctors what I was GOING to do. I got angry. I got busy, working the parts that weren’t damaged. Then, I worked the parts that were damaged. I got my mind right and that was the key to get through the horrendous pain from surgeries, rehab, and life. I believed in myself. If I died trying, I died well. That was the only way I would accept it, on my terms or dead.

Today, I walk straight and tall. I have no arthritis. I have climbed bigger, harder stuff since, than I ever did before that accident. I live life on MY terms, and I didn’t die. I have never looked back and whining does not happen in my universe.
Sorry for your challenges. I can’t help you there, but maybe, just maybe, you could help yourself.

Fred,

Did you miss a Thorazine dose yesterday, or did you just go ahead and slap a knot on someone’s head to get it out of your system?

Augusta

March 14th, 2012
8:08 am

That was NOT me that posted the withholding sex remark. I would never do that…we have an incredibly active and healthy sex life. No way would I ever do that to him!! Or US for that matter.

[...] people were more likely than whites to have "southern" diets, which ar more… Mom needs help: How do you motivate husband to lose weight? – Atlanta Journal Constitution (bl… – blogs.ajc.com 03/13/2012 Mom needs help: How do you motivate husband to lose weight?Atlanta [...]

mystery poster

March 14th, 2012
8:34 am

Someone is hijacking my name. It was not I who posed this question.

mystery poster

March 14th, 2012
8:36 am

Oooh, as I read this I see many more posts that were posted with my handle. I was away from the computer yesterday and did not post any comments on this topic at all.

Me

March 14th, 2012
9:10 am

Well, I could probably use a portion of this husband’s extra weight as I have always had an issue with trying to gain weight. I am 6′ 2″ and currently weigh 168 pounds. It matters not what I eat, how often nor how much – doesn’t matter – I don’t gain weight. WHen I quit smoking I gained almost 5 pounds and that was it… So, as far as motivation to lose weight is concerned, I’m not sure I have a good answer. You might have him start joining you in power walks or other activities in order to increase his metabolism. I would agree that witholding sex is not the answer. You need to be supportive and firm, but not threatning. I really wish I could help.

Joy Marino

March 14th, 2012
9:26 am

There were tons of comments, so I apologize if I am saying what has already been said. First, if Mom buys the food… change what she buys. Only buy low-fat, nutritious food and make it the ONLY types of food in the house (includes not buying soda and alcohol). Second, what example does Mom set? Is she eating and exercising too? If so, she can ask for his HELP…not that she wants to change him, but wants him to be her accountability partner. Most people, when approached in this manner are less likely to be defensive or get their feeling hurt. Mom can go for walks and ask him to come. Small changes, when done over a period of time will make a difference. As he starts to see the change, he may very well just speak up and say, “Hey I am dropping some weight and have more energy…let’s do some thing to keep it going.” Even if it takes another 3 years to drop off the weight, in the long run, it is worth it. It is has to be HIS CHOICE. That goes for anyone… give them the support and guidance, but do it in a way that empowers them; where they actually talk themselves in to what you want them to do. Wishing success to both!!

DB

March 14th, 2012
11:23 am

Sex is NOT “currency” in a marriage — or, if it is, you’ve got a pretty rotten marriage, IMHO. You don’t withhold sex if your partner doesn’t do exactly what you want them to do. It’s not a tool for manipulation.

That said: He’ll lose weight when HE wants to lose weight, and not one minute before. Everyone has a different motivation – ranging from health concerns to vanity to body image, etc. HE knows he’s overweight. By providing a supportive environment, you’re doing the best you can. He’s a big boy, and he’s been feeding himself for quite a while. :-)

When my husband was trying to work on portion control, at his suggestion, I stopped “family-style” dinners, and plated meals, like in a restaurant. Also,being very careful about how much you cook and serve can also be helpful — don’t put out servings for 4 if there’s only 2 of you, thinking that you’re just going to use the “leftovers”. You can’t eat what’s not in front of you! And, of course, if he’s on a diet — you are, too. Don’t buy ice cream just for yourself, for example, and expect him to ignore it. Don’t get dessert at a restaurant, etc.

RJ

March 14th, 2012
1:22 pm

@Me, you and my husband have the same problem. He’s 6;5′ and weighs 190 lbs. If he gets sick he’ll lose 10lbs easily, but he can’t gain to save his life. He eats like a 300lb man, but he just can’t gain weight. Everyone told him when he got older he would gain, but he’s over 40 and nothing.

I find losing weight to be a personal issue. A spouse can only recommend and help, but the person has to make up their mind to do it for themselves. I am trying to lose weight after the baby. I have quite a bit to lose, however my husband has never complained. If he did, I don’t think it would help me at all. It would probably make me want to gain more out of depression.

i need to lose weight | Thinspiration

March 15th, 2012
5:11 pm

[...] Mom needs help: How do you motivate husband to lose weight? So I think she is looking for a way to help him realize he needs to lose weight and take better care of himself without causing World War III! This mom has come to us in all sincerity looking for help so please offer your best constructive advice … Read more on Atlanta Journal Constitution (blog) [...]

Surreal Housewife of Atlanta

March 16th, 2012
7:53 am

I dunno…….I like my men large and chunky…..Mystery poster, if you don’t want him. I’ll take him!

cut off

March 17th, 2012
2:22 pm

cut off sex for a few weeks—that does the trick