Is it OK for hubby to lunch with lonely lady friend?

A mom left me a message: She is worried about a potential situation with her husband.

An old friend, who happens to be a woman, called to set up a lunch date. That didn’t trouble the mom particularly but then the woman added that her husband had been away on business and she was lonely. This set off some bells for the mom.

The mom is feeling like this is just a bad situation waiting to happen. One lunch may be OK but she doesn’t really want him seeing her again or the woman leaning on her husband for support.

Should she be concerned? Is this appropriate for the husband to go to lunch with a woman friend? What about an admittedly lonely woman friend? What do you think of this woman’s intentions? If she shouldn’t be worried about lunch what level of interaction should she be worried about? How would you handle this?

52 comments Add your comment


February 15th, 2012
2:38 pm

“Relationships are about respect for the other and knowing what behavior is acceptable or not.” That goes for friendships too. Real friends know the boundries and can have lunch without it needing to be hanky panky.

That said, this lady saying she was lonely and hubs out of town does make me wonder if she doesn’t indeed have an alterior motive.


February 15th, 2012
5:27 pm

I know a lady who thought that her boyfriend having a glass of wine with a female friend at his house was intimate. And by friend, I mean just that: FRIEND. She caught an unholy fit, not because his friend dropped by, but because they were drinking WINE. Chick couldn’t figure out why we all thought she was nuts until we asked if it would have been better if they were drinking beer. That clued her in that she was overreacting. I say all that to say, some things are very basic and harmless but we make them more than that in our minds because we assign some arbitrary value to them. For her drinking wine with the opposite sex was a big deal but drinking beer with the same person might not be as big a deal. If a person is in a relationship their partner needs to trust them to keep their commitment AND make it clear to their friends that they are not available. If the trust is not there the relationship is in trouble and won’t last.