Daddy/daughter dances: Is bowling comparable for sons?
Many schools host daddy/daughter dances this month. The little girls dress up, sometimes get little corsages or go out to dinner and then go “dancing” with daddy at the school.
Our school, and I know other schools, also are hosting son/mother bowling nights out. It is supposed to be the boy equivalent but it just doesn’t feel as important to me. What do you think?
What would be a comparable activity that a boy would want to do? What’s the point of the father/daughter dance or the mom/son bowling? Are you participating in either?
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27 comments Add your comment
Lori
February 6th, 2012
12:20 pm
I never did any of that stuff with my dad when I was a kid. It would have seemed creepy to me! We have daddy/son days and mommy/son days all the time anyway, so we don’t need a special event. My son and I like to take special breakfast trips to the donut shop since his daddy doesn’t like donuts, it’s our special thing. My husband and my son take special trips to the park to ride bikes since I’m still at home with a 3 month old, that’s their special thing. We would never have as much fun at some school event than just going out and doing the things we enjoy.
irisheyes
February 6th, 2012
12:59 pm
My sons’ school did a mom/son reptile night. They had dessert, games, and then a presenter who brought out all sorts of reptiles (and even let the kids touch some). Sure, there was no dressing up, but my kids thought it was great!
Theresa Walsh Giarrusso
February 6th, 2012
1:02 pm
Irisheyes — I like that — much more creative than bowling!!
Techmom
February 6th, 2012
1:22 pm
We were just talking about this subject over the weekend. I think it’s cute but do think the boys are left out. I think the boys should have a mother/son dance. The concept (I thought) was that dads could take their daughters on a date and show them what it’s like to go out with someone and how they should be treated so that if the daughter ever goes on a date later on, she has a baseline for knowing how she should be treated. BUT shouldn’t that be the same expectation for boys? How do the boys know what to do if they never get shown?
My son did Cotillion when he was in middle school and he did have to take me to one of the dances and we have talked about the proper way to treat a lady on a date but I do think it’s interesting that the daddy/daughter dance has become so popular lately. I never even heard of it until about 3-4 years ago. We have friends who live in S. Ga and apparently a local non-profit puts on a Daddy-Daughter Dance for all ages. Cute to see all the photos of the fathers with their young girls but I thought it was a bit creepy when I found out that someone my age was going with her father.
Stacey
February 6th, 2012
1:22 pm
@Theresa…It might be that they have tried the Mother/Son dances in the past but did not get a good response. My son’s school and scout troop have both had mother/son dances but he was not interested and mortified at the thought of attending either one of them. Since he loves to attend other school dances, I offered to take him and promised not to “make” him dance with me but he still said no. His scout troop cancelled their planned dance because the response was so poor that it wasn’t worthwhile. His school still has them every year but the music teacher said they aren’t nearly as well attended as the Father/Daughter event, particularly for the boys older than 2nd grade.
One year his school had a combination Mother/son and Father/Daughter “Date Night” Spaghetti Dinner and he couldn’t wait to “take” me to that. He even spent his own dollar to buy me a flower (the art class made them out of tissue paper). He thought is was very nice but felt bad because he didn’t have a sister for Daddy to be able to take to dinner. :-)
Fred
February 6th, 2012
1:27 pm
It’s only important for those trying to raise little girly-men. Valentines day is a WOMAN’S holiday. As such it’s kind of neat to have a daddy/daughter dance.
Quit trying to raise girly-men.
Sarge
February 6th, 2012
1:47 pm
I have to agree with Fred on this one. Please stop raising girly men. You do not want America to end up like Japan: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/01/30/japan-population-decline-youth-no-sex_n_1242014.html
A
February 6th, 2012
2:06 pm
I never heard of “daddy/daughter dances” until we moved to Georgia 6 years ago. We never had anything like that when I was growing up, and like another poster here I do find the idea a bit creepy. I’m all for dads spending quality time with their daughters, but these dances and the Chik Fil-A date nights sound really inappropriate. I have a son and we spend plenty of time together doing a lot of different things, so I don’t really need a designated event for us around Valentine’s Day. If we had a girl, my husband would spend time with her of course but I can’t imagine him taking her to a dance or something like that. I think as long as you spend time with your child or children, you’re doing pretty well already.
Moo
February 6th, 2012
2:32 pm
Enter your comments here
Moochelle Obama
February 6th, 2012
2:32 pm
Bowling is a horrible idea…the food there is not healthy!
Soccer MILF
February 6th, 2012
2:34 pm
My husbands father son ritual is to take the boys to some stable for horseback riding. Some place called the Pink Pony. Must be a valentines day thing they do being pink and all. Also they use glitter and perfume on the horses cause they are covered in both.
Last Vday my son had glitter all over his crotch from riding the horses.
Wayne
February 6th, 2012
2:58 pm
Last summer there was a mother/son laser tag event at one of the local parks. They both went and had a great time.
I don’t have a daughter so I can’t speak to that. Thinking about it though? I think I’d be a little creeped out.
mom2alex&max
February 6th, 2012
2:59 pm
I signed my son up for Cotillion last month. The last class was parents night and the girls danced with their dads and the moms danced with their sons. Everyone was dressed up. I don’t see why there couldn’t be a mother/son dance. The bowling things seems like a poor substitute.
I already feel pretty screwed out mother/daughter teas, mother/daughter spa days, and mother/daughter nights out since I don’t have a daughter. Enough already.
JATL
February 6th, 2012
3:03 pm
I love the reptile night idea! Bowling would be fine too. I thought it was kind of sad last year that my son’s school had TWO father/daughter dances, but absolutely nothing for mothers/sons. I kind of wish schools would just have “parent/child” stuff. I’m usually not in the politically correct camp, but there are so many single parents and kids who truly don’t have fathers they even know at some of these schools that it’s sad for them. They had a father/child pumpkin carving contest and my husband had three extra kids who helped them carve their pumpkin. That was fine, but I’m sure it makes the kids feel weird.
JATL
February 6th, 2012
3:04 pm
OH -and if you want to see a father/daughter dance and event go SPECTACULARLY, horrifically wrong -watch the first season of “Shameless”!
Me
February 6th, 2012
3:11 pm
We had neither of these when I was in school but, I can tell you right now, that there is NO WAY I would have gone to any mother/son event — Period.
My daughters’ school had no such daddy/daughter socials either although I did go with my oldest to her “walk-through” at Senior Prom prior to handing her off to who is now her husband…
Me
February 6th, 2012
3:12 pm
And I kinda also agree with Fred…
WAT!
February 6th, 2012
3:15 pm
Mother/Son can always do this: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2097122/We-drunk-What-mother-said-11-YEAR-OLD-son-hes-sent-hospital-following-row.html
Soccer MILF
February 6th, 2012
4:10 pm
Did someone really suggets a mother and son dance! Wow…out of touch much?
motherjanegoose
February 6th, 2012
4:22 pm
Our daughter went to the Daddy/Daughter events and felt special that she was out with her Dad. They took portraits and these are nice keepsakes. I think it can be about having a date with someone who respects you and treats you like a lady…not saying all Dads will do this but it went over well in our house.
I was never involved in a Mother/Daughter thing but my neighbor went with her son. He was in Scouts and they practiced all sorts of manners beforehand. She was quite impressed with her son and told me she had a nice time. He was probably 8 or so. A perfect gentleman who even asked her to dance!
IMHO it may be easier to get boys prepared for how to treat a date, if this is a group effort and made into a special event. At the very least they will know proper manners. If girls are treated respectfully they may have higher expectations when they are ready to date. They may also know how to dress up for social venues and show appreciation when someone treats you to a night out. I rarely go to the mall but when I see young teens, on what appears to be a date, it makes me scratch my head as to what is in store for the couple. I want to scream RUN for your life…at these kids.
We are lucky that our two were good about doing things with us, when they were at home. We enjoy their company, as adults, now.
Jennifer
February 6th, 2012
4:33 pm
I worked at a museum once that had seasonal events and that sort of thing. For Valentine’s Day, we had a father/daughter dance. At another time of year (September I think), we had a mother/son luau. Both were pretty popular.
mystery poster
February 6th, 2012
5:19 pm
When I saw the sign on Chik Fil A that said “daddy daughter date night,” creepy was the first thing that came to mind.
catlady
February 6th, 2012
5:50 pm
How about taking the girls to something where there is achievement encouraged, instead of “looking good” for a man? Too much emphasis on girls looking pretty instead of being smart and accomplished! (And yes, my daughters and granddaughter are beautiful, but also smart and the two adults are quite accomplished!)
Kawla
February 6th, 2012
7:20 pm
One of my fondest memories is a daddy/daughter dance. My parents were divorced and my Mom had recently remarried. I didnt think I was going to get to go to the dance because I knew my Dad wouldnt drive into town (he lived about 2 hours away) for it. My step-dad offered to take me and we had a FABULOUS time! It was just the start of years of him stepping up to the plate and being there for me when I needed him. Im 42 now and we couldnt be closer- will always be so thankful to God for sending my Dad (because I no longer think of him as my ’step’ dad) to my family.
Vladimir Sonovabitch
February 6th, 2012
9:50 pm
My wife takes our son deer hunting. Nothing like a good kill and field dress to bring a mother and son together. Stuff that in your mouth and eat it Moochelle. :)
February 7th, 2012
8:50 am
“Some place called the Pink Pony.”
+1
K's mom
February 7th, 2012
9:15 am
I think the original intent of the Father/Daughter dances is fabulous, but I think they have gone way wrong. I do think there is the creepy purity aspect to some and that is just creepy. The other thing that we have experienced with my step daughter’s school is the dad’s getting limousines and treating it like prom with a $200 meal before hand. We visit nice restaurants once or twice year, but we have jobs and did not do so with our parents as a yearly entitlement. I think that an evening out with Dad is GREAT and I think a simple dance is a good idea, but making it into prom for 6th graders and below is absurd. How is your daughter ever going to have reasonable expectations in a mate if the Father/Daughter dance is such a spectacle.
As for mother/son activities, I do think having a mother son dance/activity could be beneficial. I do not want to have girly men sons, but I do want them to have good manners and know how to treat a date with respect. All of the men in my family drive pick up trucks, wear cowboy boots, hunt, but the also say yes ma’am, please and thank you, know to stand up when a lady enters or exits the room etc. These are traits that are disappearing and I would love to have an occasion to practice these skills when my boys are old enough. I think a bowling night could be a decent idea, but a banquet or meal could be nicely done without being weird.