Several news outlets are reporting that Maria Shriver may be reconciling with Arnold Schwarzenegger. She filed for divorce about two months after she learned he fathered a child with a woman who worked in their household.
The story on The Huffington Post claimed she was reconsidering for religious reasons.
It seems like years ago women just accepted that there would be some infidelity during their marriage. They turned a blind eye and moved on with their lives.
I am wondering if this a more reasonable understanding of marriage and monogamy or was it purely because the woman would be screwed if she left her husband?
Was that because divorce laws favored the man and the woman wouldn’t get the kids or be supported if she left? Was it because she had no way to support herself if she left so was willing to put up with it?
Was it because she didn’t want people to know he cheated and if she left they would know?
A recent article in Psychology Today examines a new approach to couples sexual therapy after an affair. It suggests that the affair should be a wake-up call and challenge the couple to be more intimate.
“Rather than anguishing about betrayal and obsessing about affair sex, the involved and injured partner can join together for a better integration of intimacy, pleasuring, eroticism, and satisfaction. The affair is best understood as a wake-up call and a challenge to be a more involved, intimate, and erotic couple. So many couples treat sexuality with benign neglect until the crisis of an affair. In sexually recovering from an affair, a vital component is the commitment to continue to put time and energy to maintain intimate, vital couple sexuality.”
They are suggesting that couples can benefit from the affair.
What do you think? Should women (or men) ignore small indiscretions? Can a couple recover from an affair and continue on in their relationship? Should an affair be a wake up call and not the end of the relationship? (Define affair here – a one-time event or something ongoing. Does it matter in terms of this discussion?)