When does spanking become beating? Does the viral video change your mind?

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I have been avoiding the story about the young woman who videotaped her judge father hitting her as a 16-year-old and has now released it seven years later. However, I have had several requests for us to talk about it, so we will.

I find the video extremely upsetting so just be aware before you watch it.

If you haven’t seen the story or the video the Today Show did a good recap of what’s happened so far and then had an interview the daughter and her mother.

From the Today Show:

“The 7 ½-minute video, uploaded by 23-year-old Hillary Adams, shows Aransas County Court-at-Law Judge William Adams viciously whipping his then-16-year-old daughter with a strap.

It also depicts Hillary’s mother, Hallie, participating. Both women spoke exclusively with Matt Lauer on TODAY Thursday about the furor the video has caused and the reasons for posting it seven years after it was taken.

Although the 5-year statute of limitations for charges of bodily injury to a child most likely means criminal charges will not be filed, the video could potentially result in Judge Adams’ removal from the bench. A police investigation into whether the beating was criminal has been opened by the local police at the district attorney’s request.”

The mother said in the Today interview that there was addiction in the family and that was part of the problem. The daughter just hopes her father gets help.

This story just reinforces for me how much I don’t think any kind of spanking is good. (I do believe this guy went beyond what most parents would consider normal spanking.)

Just like the father said in the story, he lost his temper. You hit when you lose your temper. Experts say you’re not supposed to spank in the heat of a moment but truthfully that’s when you want to spank because you have lost your cool and you’re frustrated. If you wait until you are calm, then you don’t really want to spank. I personally believe that all the hitting teaches children is to handle conflict by hitting.  I think it also shows a lack of creativity in punishments. (Hitting – that’s all you got?)

So what do you think of this story and video? Does it change your mind about spanking? Do you see it in a different light or think what this guy was doing wasn’t spanking? How old of a child can you spank?

What is good punishment for a 16-year-old?

Was it right for the daughter to release it? Do you think the father should lose his job as a judge? Should he be able to judge cases involving children?

153 comments Add your comment

RKW

November 4th, 2011
12:54 am

Just remember 2 things that are not being discussed much here. A nasty child custody suit (and the payments that would go along with that) and the daughter let slip, her dad stopped paying her cell phone. HELLO. the girl is 23 years old and dad is still paying the cell phone??? (well, not any more he isn’t) I smell revenge here from 2 adult women who are not getting what they want. Should he have disciplined the girl at that age! Of course. And he could have picked a better punishment.

ASD

November 4th, 2011
12:58 am

I know that in the majority of the country, child protective services would not consider that to be abuse. Should it be considered abuse? Yes. However, it wouldn’t be prosecuted as such – in fact, if she had called CPS at the time, they probably would have just had charges pressed against her and she would have been told to not provoke her father in such a way.

Cat

November 4th, 2011
1:05 am

There is so much dysfunction in this family that all the action seem to have hidden agendas, the cell phone, custody case, car thing, whatever. However, nothing justifies beating a person in your care in the one place they should feel the safest. It is a betrayal of the deepest kind. Help is needed on all sides. As for the child at the center of the custody dispute, leaving her in her father’s care is ill advised. That kind of behavior doesn’t just disappear and sorry doesn’t cut it.

Sylvania

November 4th, 2011
1:29 am

These parents are monsters. That said, unless this man is a family court judge, I don’t see where his removal from the bench is relevant to his actions.

tacitus

November 4th, 2011
1:56 am

I’ve been shocked at the number of people who believe beating a child of sixteen around the arms, legs, and backside with a belt multiple times, while screaming epithets and expletives at her is acceptable behavior under any circumstances. Not only was it physical abuse, but it was severe emotional abuse too.

I’m with Theresa — spanking of any kind is a sign of failure. If you can’t discipline your child without raising your hand to them, then you’re not doing it right. I’ve seen plenty of kids — even strong willed ones — being reduced to tears when they’ve been sent to their room or been given a time out by parents who never engage in corporal punishment. Spanking is just the lazy way out.

Adams had plenty of options for disciplining his daughter — grounding her, removing all unmonitored access to the computer, extra homework/piano practice, and so on, but he chose to get off on a power trip and thrash his daughter instead.

And now that he’s lawyered up and released an entirely unapologetic statement that completely ignores the beating and heaps all the blame for his troubles on his daughter, it’s clear that he only wants to save his own skin. The police chief has already said that Adam likely would have been arrested if the statute of limitations had not expired (yes, the beating was that severe), and one can only hope that this sad excuse for a father will no longer preside over family law cases that involve allegations of child abuse, because he clearly does not understand where to draw the line.

annerussell

November 4th, 2011
1:57 am

Beating anyone is physical assault. And beating your own child with a weapon (a belt) is egregious behavior. This judge is psychologically a very sick man, a sadist, with power and sexual issues (he is aroused by forcing his teenage daughter to present her backside for him to abuse). He has no business judging others and he should immediately be removed from the bench. I am glad his daughter exposed his cruelty, and I’m sorry he cannot be charged with assault and wrongful imprisonment, among other things.

Joyce

November 4th, 2011
1:57 am

This man is indeed a family court judge. Ugh…

bzz54

November 4th, 2011
1:58 am

I had an abusive overly controlling father and womanizer. So at 13 yrs I got in a cab went to juvenile probation dept. one eve and asked them to assist me to find a good home so I could finish high school. I sued my dad as an unfit father , lived with relatives for one school yr , returned home and left within 3 months. I managed to get into foster care by age 16. Finished high school while living independently with some friends. This video sure brings back memories..There are layers to this story. Our father’s are our first male loves only to have it slowly deteriorate and become a disillusionment and then in some cases as adults we get into relationships with abusers, not realizing it at first.

someguy62

November 4th, 2011
2:29 am

This is not a beating. Growing up I was spanked worse than this everytime I did something wrong. As painful as it was back then I’m glad I was disciplined because it kept me on the right path. I don’t think parents discipline their children enough in America and there’s the proliferation of fear that you’re not allowed to hit any child. I see so many out of control children that deserve to be spanked. This is not abuse, not a beating. In the video the girl knows she is in trouble and she still resists getting spanked by refusing to get on the bed. Some may see that as “brave” but I see that as a child that does not listen to their parent. When I did something wrong and my father called me out for a spanking I listened because it would only get worse if I resisted. I always understood what I did and knew why I was getting hit and I think this girl did too. This girl is vindictive for releasing this video and now she’s playing a victim. Honestly, the father isn’t even whipping her that hard. The mom actually raised her hand to whip her so she probably smacked the girl harder. People who find this video disturbing should really see how many traditional asian families discipline their children. Just a note, the spanking from my parents did not scar me or emotionally affect me for life. I grew up, went to college, work professionally and am currently in law school. I think our society paints such a negative picture on physical punishment that people victimize themselves. This is not to dismiss actual abuse going on in this world. Abusive parents generally hit children for no reason other than their drunk or angry at something that has nothing to do with the child. They permanently injure the child both physically and mentally. Here the father hit the child because she blatantly disobeyed and did something illegal. Obviously people here, including the author, have a different view of what went on but, from someone who went through much much worse disciplinary actions growing up, this is mild at best.

Marshall

November 4th, 2011
2:45 am

It’s time for Texas to join the Union. This judge should be treated like Mussolini was treated by the Italians in April of 1945 – his daughter had a disability, he should have never laid a hand on her. And when you provide transportation to a child, you don’t take it away, that’s like cutting off their legs. Here is a judge who throws out the baby with the bath water and they let him sit on the bench – now you know why they have “country justice” because the system doesn’t work. I guess this qualifies the judge to run for congress now and be put on the presidential ticket.

tacitus

November 4th, 2011
2:54 am

Unbelievable someguy62. I’m sorry that you had to go through even worse than Hillary Adams did. Clearly you have a distorted view of what acceptable discipline for a child is as a result. Unfortunately, it seems that you’re parents weren’t up to the job of raising you without resorting to violence. I hope you do not follow in their footsteps.

Good parents don’t have to beat their children, ever, no matter how unruly they are.

Robert

November 4th, 2011
3:11 am

Originally I saw a video brief of this incident and called it a spanking. Since then I heard their was a 7 1/2 minutes of beating video. I thought I could have been wrong. But after locating the full video I think this has been overhyped. The girl admits in an interview she videotaped it because she knew she was going to get a spanking. The father says it was because she’d been lying, cheating, stealing and being disrespectful. NOT just downloading a computer game as the media suggest. I counted 16 slaps of a belt over about 1 and 1/2 minutes. The father and mother both tell the girl to accept her spanking on the rear. They don’t intend to “hurt” her but punish her many misdeeds. It is her motion that causes slaps to any other areas.This is certainly disturbing but NOT a beating. AND the girl walks away with no tears or sobbing! If the father was an animal in the long term, there is no evidence of that. Where is the next video and the next? This video cannot condemn the man to the levels many responders suggest. Some of your retribution suggestions makes you scarier than this frustrated dad.

W. Buffett

November 4th, 2011
6:41 am

Please tell us you don’t have a daughter Robert!

This judge is an idiot and a failure as a parent. In my judgement, he deserves a .40 hollow point in the center of the forehead for beating a girl like that. Worthless, cowardly, POS!

I feel sad for the girl

November 4th, 2011
7:03 am

This is abuse, plain and simple. If you don’t understand that, then you are confused. There’s really nothing else to say.

I really do feel sad for this girl. She is the one who has to live with the scars of being abused by her parents. My mother had a few abusive moments towards us growing up and while I don’t really dwell on it, I can say with 100% certainty that it was not healthy at all for me and my siblings.

shaggy

November 4th, 2011
7:09 am

I favor corporal punishment in the form of spanking as part of setting boundaries for a younger child, not a 16 year old. They are too old for it, and if you are resorting to this, which was a beating, clear and simple, for a 16 year old, you have already lost the battle and you have become a bully.

This was assault, and it is too bad that the girl didn’t reveal the video before the statute of limitations had expired,. Then, both “mom and dad” would have been quickly locked up. Yes, mom was culpable in this as a participant and accessory to the assault.

I once had a friend, who had a Vietnam Vet Army Colonel dad, who had some serious demons from that little fun house called Vietnam. Colonel dad, used to beat my friend bloody, and usually punctuated it with a closed fist to the head. My friend hated his dad, and eventually grew to be a strong, young man. Colonel dad began turning his attention to my friend’s little brother, because he knew my friend had grown into a young man, with big biceps, so he became too wary of him for a good bullying. One night, Colonel dad was in a tirade on little brother, and my friend told him to lay off or else. Of course, Colonel dad “thought” he was up for the challenge. My friend sent dad to the Army hospital for a week, with a seriously redecorated head, followed by some Army discipline from the Provost Mashall. Finally, mom, summoned some backbone, kicked Colonel out for good. Colonel dad drifted into oblivion, and as far as I know, my friend and the rest of his family went on to have a good life.
This story has made me wonder what happened to my friend over the years. I just might look him up.

Parent

November 4th, 2011
7:11 am

Until you have had a child who is totally oppositional and defiant, you do not understand the word frustrated. You start out by time-outs, then taking away small perks, then the major perks (car, competer, cell phone, but NOTHING works. You can’t turn them out in the world (that is held by the courts as abandonment). You feel like a spanking with a belt is the only way you can try to get through to them. And if this girl walked away with no tears, I am sure that punishment was ineffective. The best thing this judge could have done is turn her out at age eighteen and never talk to her again.

Parent

November 4th, 2011
7:14 am

And what about the parents who go to bed at night and lock their bedroom door because they don’t know if their daughter is going to take a butcher knife and stab them in their sleep? Yes, there needs to be protections for children, but there also needs to be protections for parents, too.

Elmer Gantry

November 4th, 2011
7:18 am

Beating your children is sinful. I will be very honest, I thought i saw a bit of lust in that beating, poppa was giving his daughter. And if the truth be known, the daughter was getting a bit of enjoymen, why would she wait all these years before putting the video on?

IDK

November 4th, 2011
7:19 am

It is hard to judge the entire situation in a 7 1/2 min video. All of these “spanking is lazy parenting” people….I wonder? Are you the parent’s of those kids who want what they want when they want it and get it because you are too lazy to guide your kids and say no? What is your solution to a teenager who is lying, cheating, slealing…and as a parent…I’m guessing this isn’t the first time this girl was in trouble for such behavior. Do I condone beating an almost grown woman with a belt? No, I really don’t think I do. At least, that would not be the choice I would make. Do I send this dad to all eternal hellfire? No, I can’t do that either. It sounds to me like as in all situations, there are more sides to this story I’m sure. And lastly, as the girl walks to the video (which she held like ransom for 7 years)..she seems fine. I don’t even see her unconciously rubbing any area of herself. If you want to see what true abuse looks like it isn’t hard to find.

Logic 05

November 4th, 2011
7:31 am

That is a beating.

You don’t discipline a 16 year old girl with a belt hitting her that many times.

George

November 4th, 2011
7:32 am

First of all to both Tacitus & annerrussel you both really need to come into the 21 century. You might have kids and not spank the and they might be good kids but I can show you 10 for everyone of your who don’t turm out good when parents refuse to spare the rod.While the judge was way off after like the third lick and no excuse for the language by him or wife. In this day and time if you don’t put the fear of GOD in them then you have lost them.
The Bible says Proverbs 23: 13-14.
“Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you beat him with a rod, he will not die. If
you beat him with the rod you will save his soul from Sheol. Sheol is translates hell.
For every Bzz54 who had a cruel parent there are tons of kids who had parents who love them but give them discipline when needed. Like I said Judge went way over board. Robert your just plain scarey if you don’t think 16 wacks with a belt over just 1/12 to to minutes is to much. How can you say they don’t intend to hurt her. Let me hit you 16 times with full swing in 1/2 minutes. Two or three maybe but 16 come man the is abusive in any language.
There is so many other parts to the WHOLE STORY but bottom line after the third lick and all the language was uncalled for, The rests behind the story doesn’t matter if she broke house rules and had done so several times like my understanding then 2 or 3 licks is not uncalled for but pop needs to be popped.

Mike In Woodstock

November 4th, 2011
7:34 am

Disturbing. The whole “Bend Over and take it like a woman” comment really creeps me out. This guy is a perv.

Kirby Smart

November 4th, 2011
7:36 am

This is what the running backs at UGA lacked growing up.
If they had a father in their home and if he administered punishment like this…UGA would not be missing 4 players this weekend.

Roswellianite

November 4th, 2011
7:37 am

Reading these comments in the AJC (of all places) has restored my faith. I only saw one that was pro-beating-a-16-year-old-girl, before I stopped reading. I LOVE the conversation that beating is simply a lazy, uncreative, unevolved, lizard brain way of disciplining one’s child. Violence? What kind of people resort to violence to resolve a problem?

I have NEVER spanked my daughter, who is 7 now. I just can’t imagine wanting to hurt her with my hand or belt or whatever. I can no easier imagine what that feels like to want to hurt my kid, than to punch a stranger who spilled beer on me at a Braves game. I guess some people have that in them, and some people don’t. {shakes head}

GwinnettRes

November 4th, 2011
7:41 am

There is absolutely nothing wrong with a “controlled” spanking. However, you need to make sure you are in control of your emotions when you do it.

I grew up in a household with corporal punishment. I hold two college degrees, a successful job, and have a beautiful family. I believe my family did a fine job of raising me and attribute that partly to the fact I had strong discipline in my house. I didn’t get in trouble in school. I didn’t get arrested.

You parent your child how you want and I’ll parent mine the way I see fit.

Me

November 4th, 2011
7:44 am

It’s really difficult, if not impossible, to use this video and the events thereafter as any type of baseline for what is appropriate. Is there a difference in “spanking” and “beating”? Of course there is. Those of you who are old enough should have no issue agreeing that, in our childhood, corporal punishment was alive and well. I got my fair share of spankings – along with a few switches thrown in for good meaaure – but I have never felt that such equated to “beating”. You will never convince me that placing a child in “time out” is as effective as a good spanking.

HoyaLawya

November 4th, 2011
7:57 am

Use of anything but an open hand = beating. Hitting an older child = beating. More than half a minute = beating. I do spank–3 swats with an open hand on the bottom, fully clothed. I would never do anything more than that, and as my oldest is now 4, he really doesn’t even need that. Once children are old enough to understand consequences, there is really no need to spank.

wow

November 4th, 2011
7:58 am

You would not have to worry about your 16 year old if you had taken care of business when he was a small child. That is when behavior modification starts- you are the parents and you are in charge of the household. But, no, it’s more like- aw, kids are so cute and kids are kids and we give our child choices of what they want to do. Then, they grow up thinking they are in charge and a 16year old with that mindset is a huge issue.

Progressive Humanist

November 4th, 2011
8:06 am

Hitting any child for any reason is abuse. Research clearly shows a host of negative factors associated with kids who are physically punished- they are more likely to end up in jail as adults, more likely to have cognitive problems, poor academics, behavioral problems, delayed language, and the list goes on and on.

I know a bunch of people will come on here and say how their kids turned out just fine and how they themselves were beaten and turned out just fine, blah, blah, blah. Fist, that’s all anecdotal with a sample of one or just of their little circle. And second of all, what they consider fine the rest of us may not; they probably turned out to be mean insensitive b@$tards like a lot of people on these blogs, and that ain’t “just fine”.

Kids don’t need to be spanked to learn to behave well. Believe it or not, there are other ways to get kids to behave, other ways that are much healthier for them developmentally. It’s simply unethical to hit a kid for any reason. That’s my position as a psychologist, a teacher, a professor, and a dad. And I know there will be people who say, “What does a snooty psychologist and professor know about raising kids when I’ve seen kids raised and spanked all my life?” My response? We all have. That doesn’t make you an expert. Or right. Or even competent, even though I know you think you are.

Don’t hit kids.

Logical Dad

November 4th, 2011
8:20 am

Spanking does not exist. There is beating and there is not beating. Cute little phrases that abusers use to somehow mitigate their criminal conduct (”spanking,” “whipping,” “corporal punishment”) do not make them any less abusive or their actions any less criminal. Imagine being the child who depends on a parent for everything and to then see your caregiver coming at you with a weapon and beating you. One must be mentally ill beyond all treatment to hit a child – much less with a weapon.

I am sure the child-beating apologists will post with their old canards (”Spanking isn’t abuse,” “There is a difference between beating and spanking,” “I was spanked when I was a child and I turned out okay,” “The Bible says…”) Yawn. Thankfully, these people are dying out exponentially. Good riddance to bad rubbish.

Lastly, why is it always the abusers who claim their is a difference between beating and “spanking?” Ask your victims if they can tell a difference while they are being scourged with a belt while begging for mercy. This judge, in his statement yesterday, said he had done nothing wrong and was merely disciplining his daughter. If you say “spanking” is okay, you are inextricably linked to this judge. You must be so proud.

Don’t hit children.

Mom X 5

November 4th, 2011
8:23 am

Enter your comments here

Doom and Gloom

November 4th, 2011
8:24 am

Seriously Tacitus?

Spanking is NOT the lazy way out, I agree that the Father was way too extreme in his form of spanking that he did to his Daughter, but I by no means think that spanking a child should be in no way completely condone within society. Simply sending a child to their room with no dessert is the EASY way out!!!! If a child doesn’t listen to simple commands from a parent when ask to do or stop something, that child needs a hand or belt across the rear!!! Perhaps this old school technique will once again bring discipline back in to our society and keep a lot of these kids off the streets and out of the prison system.

Ann

November 4th, 2011
8:26 am

Although, I am favorable to corporal punishment as a form of discipline for children, I feel that another form could have been used for a 16 year old. I received many spankings as a child up until 9th grade and so did my other siblings, and none of us have any emotional or physical issues. We are college educated and raising families of our own without any backlash as a a result of strict upbringing. I didn’t understand it back then BUT can truly appreciate now as an adult.

I have used corporal punishment with my own children as well. I care not to spare the rod and spoil the child especially when I see so many children who are out of control as a result of being given the liberty to speak their minds with no respect, hitting their parents, bullying others, and the list goes on. If memory serves me correct, this young lady had stolen something and that was the reason for what occurred. My thought is the father may have been humiliated due to his profession and because of that his emotions got the best of him. He used a belt not his fists. TIME OUT??? I’ve seen a friend of mine exercise this form with her grandson, and I can tell you…I “ain’t” working!

Mom X 5

November 4th, 2011
8:27 am

This girl knew exactly what she was doing…hello! She turned the recorder on! She played it out just like an actress. For those of you who have “little angels”, someday reality will set in.
Just hope your “angel” does not have a video recorder on or your perfect world may not be so perfect anymore.

JJ

November 4th, 2011
8:27 am

Oh here we go again…..we have covered this topic numerous times.

There are those that equate spanking with abuse.

There are those that equate spanking with getting a child’s attention when they are acting up. They do not control us, we as parents must control them!!!! If a smack on the butt get their attention, it is not abuse. If spanked with a belt numerous times, over and over, and over, that’s abuse. But a mere swat on the tail end is NOT abuse.

JJ

November 4th, 2011
8:28 am

And I will NOT watch that video.

Doom and Gloom

November 4th, 2011
8:29 am

I definitely agree Logical Dad, there is an HUGE difference between spankings and child abuse…. this video outlined a case that was very borderlined Child Abused, however, if the Father would have simply took just two swings with the belt rather than countless amounts, some people’s points of view on this scenario might be different.

Logical Dad

November 4th, 2011
8:29 am

As a prosecutor for 20+ years, I always ask defendants what type of punishment they received as a child. Granted, I did not do a scientific study (it was limited to the cases I prosecuted in two different states), I never had one (not one) that came from a home that did not beat them This, again, canard that beating kids keeps them out of prison is a simple, demonstrable lie. Sorry, D&G. Those nasty facts just do not back up your fantasy.

lizbeth

November 4th, 2011
8:32 am

A few days before my mother began whipping me with a fly-swatter, causing welts across my legs, she told me how horrible she felt when her dad beat her with a belt when she was 17. I was 14. She married at 18 to get out of her house; I left as soon as I could, filled with the emotional anguish of an abused child. But I made a pact with myself—break the cycles no matter the cost. No spanking in my house, thank goodness. I talk with my kids, and I can’t believe how awesome they are without spankings and recycling pain in our home. It has enabled them to grow into their giftedness. I get hugs everyday. It’s a much better life.

Logical Dad

November 4th, 2011
8:35 am

D&G, do you even comprehend English? Please re-read my post (except for the wrong “their” – sorry about that). I guess I should not be surprised that an abuser is blind to the written word as well as the facts. Please, God, tell me you do not have children. Those poor victims.

lizbeth

November 4th, 2011
8:35 am

Oh, and these kids who are hugging me? Teenagers!

Greg S.

November 4th, 2011
8:36 am

Spanking or beating? It’s all opinion based depending on your role in the event. My idea of a spanking is may very well be your idea of a beating. In the long run it’s up to the parents to decide how to manage and raise their children. Today’s liberal society is producing some of the most irresponsible kids in history. When these kids get into the real world they have a very hard time with it because the world doesn’t love them and coddle them the way mommy & daddy did.

Doom and Gloom

November 4th, 2011
8:38 am

Annerussel,

When I was young, I was beaten with hands, belts,and even fists… Not going to condone getting hit by a fist, but overall, I turned out just fine… I have known several individuals who told me that they NEVER got spanked growing up and a lot of them now have jail records and/or currently locked up, or dead from making crazy decisions.

williebkind

November 4th, 2011
8:43 am

someguy62

November 4th, 2011
2:29 am
Thank you for bringing some real reasoning about this incident. Progressive liberals have been fighting the family structure for decades and they are using this incident to light more fires. If the liberals can not discipline their child they want the state to do it for them. It is OK for the liberals to start fires, break windows, and create chaos in the streets. These are the signs that they received no belt time when growing up. Like the liberal feminine movement blasted out to everybody for a decade NO means NO. That is true when a dad or mom tells a child (no matter the teen age) to do something that child must do it or their is no discipline. What is disturbing to me is that the ones who scream the most are the ones who have someone caring for their children and are around them just a couple of hours a day. Yeah they know everything.

williebkind

November 4th, 2011
8:46 am

Logical Dad

November 4th, 2011
8:29 am
Your facts are your facts only(meaning statistics) and like you said only what you wanted to see! Just like a lawyer!

Doom and Gloom

November 4th, 2011
8:46 am

Logical Dad, I am a proud Father of four Children, two of them are in College, one finishing Middle School, and one about to finish High School. They ALL received Spankings (Belts or by Hand) growing up… They are well disciplined and respectable individuals… Comprehend that……I apologized, I overlooked key statements in your original post.

Doom and Gloom

November 4th, 2011
8:50 am

Logical Dad,

The individuals you most likely dealt as a prosecutor probably came from abusive homes where so called “Spankings” were actually “Child Abuse” and where there was a lot of yelling or screaming,and other forms of mayhem going on at the same time… Once again, there is a thin line between putting discipline into your child and abusing your child.

PW

November 4th, 2011
8:50 am

Listen I am not in favor of what went on in the video (although that certainly could have been at my house too) but there are several things we need to take in to consideration before we perfect people start passing judgement. 1)16 year old girl-that alone qualifies you for zanax. 2)16 yo girl who decides she is going to do what she wants regardless of what the rules are-double dose of zanax. 3)Parents who are apparently dysfunctional in their own marriage and lastly 4)there is an agenda at play here that stinks like 4 week old garbage on the streets of NYC in August.

Before we perfect people start casting stones, take any of the above into consideration and take a step back.

campbell's mom

November 4th, 2011
8:51 am

As a mom of one, I do believe in and have spanked my daughter. However, i think what the father in the video did absolutely crossed the line and there is the crux of it. What seems reasonable to some, seems unreasonable to others. I too had read the experts advice that you should never spank in anger, and I was very conscious of that. There were many times I made my daughter go to her room while I took deep breaths and calmed down, and yes, many times after that calming period, there was no spanking.

Also, in my opinion, to beat a child with a belt is just too barbaric. I never used a belt on my child when she was under 12. By the age of 12-13 she was bigger and I would use one of her own skinny plastic belts to deliver a lick or two. I would, on occasion, get my own thicker, wider, heavier belt and threaten to whip her with it, but I never did, I just couldn’t. But I thought it was okay to make her think I would.

Additionally, I let her father, who was from a family that whipped in the traditional way, with a big thick belt, that he was not allowed, under any circumstances to whip my daughter like that. Yes, we were married, yes it was his child. However, I felt really strongly about that. I could never have let him beat my child, the way this father did. Yes my husband was abusive and he had addictions, but when it came to my daughter, (she’s 17 now) there was no way I could roll over.

paige

November 4th, 2011
8:53 am

This incident is more abuse than punishment. You don’t spank a 16 year old either. To all the people who never spank their children I hope your not like people I know who yell and scream at their kids and “ground” them only to find out that you are scaring them mentally. All kids are different. Discipline them as you need to but NEVER with words.