Study: 8% of parents regret baby name choice
A new study from yourbabydomainname.com found that 8 percent of parents regret choosing the name they did. (I can’t find on their web site the number of parents surveyed or how valid this survey is but we can still discuss it.)
“Some people have baby names picked out when they are just kids themselves. Others don’t decide on a name until two days after their baby is born. Either way, according to a new study conducted by yourbabydomainname.com, 8% of parents regret choosing the name that they did.”
“Pamela Redmond Satran and Linda Rosenkrantz, founders of Nameberry.com, say the most common mistakes parents make when it comes to naming their babies include letting their own parents have too much say in the decision or focusing on superficial factors, like how “cool” the name choice makes them look.”
“When the parents who admitted to regretting their children’s names were asked why:
“53%, felt this way because they had chosen a name that was ‘fashionable’ at the time 32%, of the parents who said that they ‘regretted’ their child’s first name said that they did so because it is now a ‘common’ name for children.”
I think we made a mistake with Rose’s name. We knew we wanted to call her Rose for Michael’s mother, who died in 1990. But we thought Rose was too short to have as the first name. So we decided to go with Cassandra as her first name and Rose as her middle name knowing that we intended to call her Rose. Well it’s caused all kinds of trouble from the insurance company filing things right to the lunchroom lady who kept calling her Cassandra. We just should have names her Rose Cassandra instead.
We decided after the Cassandra debacle to only use family names (Cassandra was not a family name). I still feel good about Walsh and Lilina is the feminine form of her Italian great grandfather’s name. The only thing we now know about Lilina is apparently there is a very common Hispanic name of Liliana so everyone invariably assumes that is her name and calls her that. I do a lot of correcting. But we still love the name.
I do know of one friend that announced the baby’s name and within days changed the name. I’m sure that was hard to do but better as a several-day old baby than later in life.
Do you regret your baby’s name? If so, why? Do you think grandparents try to influence names too much? What guidelines for good naming would you offer new parents?
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58 comments Add your comment
Typical Democrat
October 17th, 2011
6:10 am
The stimulus is working !
Jon
October 17th, 2011
6:10 am
Worst paper ever
TallMom
October 17th, 2011
6:20 am
We don’t regret any of our kids names, thankfully.
The only advice I’d give parents naming their child…PLEASE…don’t take a “regular” name and make it “trendy” by changing the spelling of it. Megan into Meghynne or Lauren into Loryne…Jackson into Jaxxsin. Seriously…it just makes you look illiterate, not cre8ive or smart. Just stop.
smorgasbord
October 17th, 2011
6:21 am
I’m thinking that if a parent or parent(s) don’t regret giving their kids a name that begins with “Le” “La” “De” or “Da”, then their kids certainly will, if only due to the fact that it dooms them when its the first thing people like potential employers see at the top of a resume.
djs_NC
October 17th, 2011
6:35 am
i loved my kid’s names when i gave them to them and still do.
Long ago and far away
October 17th, 2011
6:39 am
My parents labeled me with an old family sir name. I wish they had chosen a more typical name. Why? As a child, I was unmercifully teased by the other children due to the fact it was such a distinct name. In adulthood, I have people ask constantly for me to repeat my first name because they are not sure of the pronunciation. Next, I have to explain the origin. It’s been a hassle for me my entire life.
Carla
October 17th, 2011
6:39 am
Nope, gave my son a three gen family name from both sides. We were lucky that we liked both names. He is named for my dad and paternal grandfather and his middle name is his father’s name, which is tradition with boys in his family. I hope my son will pass it down and not name my grandchild “lord warrior of peace” or something like that!
catlady
October 17th, 2011
6:55 am
I would guess a higher percentage of kids don’t like the name they were given!
homeschooler
October 17th, 2011
7:07 am
I don’t regret my kids names at all. They are both unusual but not unheard of. Both have sentimental meaning. One is a family name and one is from an area of the world that is important to us. They both say they like their names because no one else has that name. My only regret is that I spelled my daughter’s name a bit different than its original spelling to make it easier for people to pronounce. I wish I had left the traditional spelling. People mess it up a bit anyway and I feel like I took away from the whole reason I named her that in the first place.
td
October 17th, 2011
7:13 am
When you give your kid some crazy name with an unusual spelling, you hurt his or her earning potential in the future. For every one Lebron James making huge money playing basketball, there are 10000 DeTyrones or Lemarcuses flipping burgers.
Sh*tface
October 17th, 2011
7:15 am
I regret my name. My parents didnt like me very much, so they named me Sh*tface. I was going to name my child that, since its now a family name, but my wife doesnt think thats a good idea, and I suppose she is correct.
We are gonna name him Dickface instead.
DB
October 17th, 2011
7:21 am
We pretty much went with classics, with a family middle name. My son doesn’t care for his middle name, but it’s fourth generation, so he can just suck it up and hopefully one day he’ll be proud of it (it could have been much worse, I remind him, if we had picked the middle name of his paternal grandfather!) Poor kid was at a family reunion when someone realized that, out of a family of over 100 people, my son is the ONLY male to carry the last name into his generation (lots of daughters over two generations.) He said it was the oddest feeling of his life, with everyone zeroed in on him speculatively. Then, of course, finally someone said it — “So, how many kids are you planning to have?” (To a kid in high school!!)
My nephew’s name was the result of my brother’s bad handwriting: He was late checking in for a tennis tournament when he was 14, scribbled his name on the sign in sheet and dashed in. My mother, coming in behind him, clarified his name, and then later chastised my brother for his rotten handwriting, telling him that the check-in clerk thought it was _________, an entirely different name. My brother just said, “Hey, cool name!” — and much to our surprise, that’s what he named his son years later. Not sure how my nephew feels about his name being the result of crabby handwriting . . . :-) It’s an uncommon name, but it’s not a derivational name (i.e., weird spelling,etc.) We’ve seen it again a few times, but not very often.
Browncoat
October 17th, 2011
7:41 am
I should never have named my daughter Chlamydia
motherjanegoose
October 17th, 2011
7:58 am
We are good with both names, we named our children. As a teacher, it took a while to find names
( for my own two) that I would be good with and not have bad memories…anyone else? As a KINDER teacher, I wanted names that my kids could learn to write quickly. Both had 5 letters in their names and were able to print them rather well. I had seen lots of kids struggle with writing longer names. Guess they just use a computer now…lol.
I do wonder how in the world some parents come up with some of the names they have for their kids.
JJ
October 17th, 2011
8:39 am
My daughter has a traditional name, but I changed the spelling. She is named after me, we have the same first name, but different middle names. She goes by her middle name, but shortened. My middle name is common, but spelled differently also, but I go by my first name.
I once heard, that when you are trying to name your baby, when you chose the name, go outside and yell it 10 times (like you were calling the kid into the house) and see if you still like it…LOL
yuki
October 17th, 2011
9:00 am
No offense to anyone, but I’ll never understand why people name their kids something with the intention of calling them something else (like a middle name). I knew a girl named Helen Elizabeth and she went by Betsy. (??). I’m sure Helen was a grandmother’s name or something but still….I mean, just name your kid what you want people to call him/her. Then there is no confusion with insurance or at school. Maybe it’s just me :)
You do know, don't you, Theresa,
October 17th, 2011
9:06 am
…that there are more publications from which to choose commentary than the liberal Huffington Post…
But, to keep motherjane happy (by staying on topic and contributing to the topic while putting in my sugggestion that was not on topic), my kids names are fine, and they are fine with their names, and we are fine with them, and they are fine children…
JATL
October 17th, 2011
9:15 am
We used family names and I can’t ever imagine regretting the choices. Don’t do trendy and seriously – people need to think about whether the names they’re choosing sound more like a griwn woman on a stripper pole or a business woman; does the boy name sound like a con artist or drug dealer or a business man? I read another mom blog, and every time someone asks for girlname suggestions, one person always suggests Cheyenne Nicole. That screams stripper or at least tacky and lucky if she’s living in a double-wide. Nicole isn’t so bad, but trendy names like Cheyenne are tacky and they sound like a 13 year old girl had naming rights. THINK before you name!
K's mom
October 17th, 2011
9:31 am
I still LOVE my son’s name and we are struggling with choices for baby #2. Once we find out what we are having we will likely come to a decision. My biggest beef with name choosing is family members thinking they get a vote. Unless you created the child or plan to pay for college, keep your suggestions and comments to yourself. My son is named for my husband’s maternal grandfather and has my maiden names. My husband’s brothers and sisters called while I was in labor to get us to change his middle name to something else from their side of the family. Yeah, I am still a bit irritated over that one!
Techmom
October 17th, 2011
9:34 am
My advice to all parents when choosing names – Name the child what you are going to call him/her. No middle names and no shortened unless it’s a very common shortened (Chris for Christopher, Steve for Steven, etc.) I go by a shortened version of my first name but dropping 1 letter changes the pronunciation entirely. I have NEVER gone by my legal name nor have I never been called it by my parents. I asked my mom why she named it and she said b/c it was a family name (Great Aunt’s name and my grandmother’s middle name) but also because it sounds better when paired with my middle name. OK I’ll give her it sounds better when paired with my middle name but really? who cares? past birth no one asks what your middle name is and certainly doesn’t call you by your first & middle to be able to distinguish that it sounds good.
DB
October 17th, 2011
9:38 am
K’s Mom: Sometimes, you just have to say “Butt out!”. I can’t believe how pushy they were, debating it while you were in labor!! Of course, in this case, your husband should have been the one telling them to zip it and mind their own business!
Lori
October 17th, 2011
9:41 am
I don’t regret my son’s name at all. We kept his name a surprise until after he was born in order to not get unwanted comments from family and friends. His name is slightly unusual. We got it out of a novel that was my husbands favorite “coming of age” story when he was growing up. My son’s name is common in a different spelling, but we spell it differently. I admit that sometimes people pronounce it incorrectly, but most people just ask us if it’s a “G” sound or “J” sound. His name starts with a G that sounds like a J.
My new baby, which hopefully will be born this week, will also have a slightly uncommon name, but it’s easy to pronounce. And I did the same thing withholding it from family and friends. It’s mine and my husbands choice, and we didn’t want the comments and suggestions from anyone. Once you name the kid, it’s too late for grandma to put in her two cents worth!!!!
ABC
October 17th, 2011
9:44 am
No regrets here on names, and to the person who mentioned the “liberal” Huffington Post, so what if it leans left? I’ve been a reader since day 1 and find it a refreshing alternative to the right wing radio/TV and everything else the seems to permeate our society. HP is another source of information, and if you don’t like it, don’t read it!
LM
October 17th, 2011
10:07 am
I have never felt great about my daughter’s name. We had a boy name picked out quickly, but every girl name we looked at my husband said he had dated a girl by that name and she was a psycho. I even got a baby name book and we went through the list one by one to narrow it down. His two favorites were Jane and Ursula… no. When we finally got down to two first name and a common middle name I looked at the initials, that was the deciding factor. I still wonder if we could have found a name that would have fit her better, but it is a good name, not a fad name and will be a good corporat name.
I didn’t want to find out the gender and this was one of many points of contention between my MIL and me. She wanted to know gender and name. I finally got so fed up and gave her Penelope Sue and Jebediah Benjamin to be shorted to Jebengi. It shut her up until my daughter was born and then she through a fit because I didn’t use the most common spelling of either first or middle name.
Liz
October 17th, 2011
10:17 am
My husband is a “third”, and goes by a nickname. I love that his name has so much history (in the area where he grew up and within the family) but I don’t know that I could do that to a son…he’d be a fourth, and I frankly don’t know what we’d call him. The name is somewhat old-fashioned and there are definitely opportunities for teasing!
Whenever we consider names for our (future) children, my husband and I always picture saying “Grandma/Grandpa So-and-so”, or envision the name on a resume. Nothing deters me from a name quicker than picturing a 40-something man or woman with a trendy/cutesy name, trying to get a job with that name on their resume!
I guess that is why I’ll always go for the “classics”…Jane, Grace, Caroline, Elizabeth, John, William, etc. Old-fashioned? Maybe, but always in good taste. (Only planning on 2 kiddos, so we’ll see which names we settle on!)
Sylvania
October 17th, 2011
10:56 am
Brittany, Brittnay, Brittney, or Britney? Who cares. I agree with George Carlin. You wanna know a good name? Eddy.
jarvis
October 17th, 2011
11:03 am
First name thing is a problem for sure. I’m the IV in my family, and I’ve been called a variation of my middle name my entire life I assume to alleviate repitition in the house. It has caused more issues that I ever thought.
My credit report has 5 names on it for instance. First name with middle initial. First initial with middle name. Middle name abbreviated. First name with IV, first name without IV.
One of my dad’s credit cards used to be listed. I had that taken care of years ago, and since he is now dead, that mistake hasn’t been repeated by creditors. It’s a mess for sure.
Camilly
October 17th, 2011
11:04 am
I only regret the spelling my first daughter name. I made sure I didn’t have that trouble with the 2nd and 3rd child.
I had a neighbor to named their son Jack…they like the name and didn’t want to get into name vs. nickname.
Penguinmom
October 17th, 2011
11:07 am
We like all of our kids’ names. Our eldest is a third and goes by a nickname which I know will cause him some issue in life since his ‘legal name’ isn’t the same as what he is commonly called. But I think it is worth it for him because he likes being a 3rd. For my daughter, we went ahead and named her the shortened version of her name as her legal name so that she wouldn’t have to deal with any of those issues.
@Liz – we often joke about what my son will call his eldest son. He wants to continue the family name and have his son be a fourth, but there is no easy nickname for a fourth. Since ‘Quad’ is definitely out we’re still keeping an eye out for other words that mean ‘4′.
Young@heart
October 17th, 2011
11:11 am
1st goes by formal first name…he didn’t like nick names
2nd goes by Middle Name
3rd we told everyone his name on the way to the hospital but when we saw him it didn’t fit and took til the next day to decide and we are all much happier with the new name.
NO Regrets Love them all
Kris
October 17th, 2011
11:14 am
I agree with calling your child by the first name. I am called by my middle name and it has been a pain in the neck since I started school years ago . . . the teacher calling roll, using my first name (even after being told repeatedly that I go by (middle name), and half the time I didn’t answer bc I was not used to being called (first name). Now, the same thing with employers, legal docs, IRS, etc. Just name your kid what you want him/her to be called!!
Lori
October 17th, 2011
11:16 am
My husband has trouble sometimes with his name. He is the 3rd person on his family with his first and last name, however, his father, who is the “Junior” gave my husband a different middle name. That gets confusing. The elder one is the “junior” and the younger one isn’t. That has gotten mixed up a lot on bills and car insurance and stuff, especially while my husband was still in college and living at home. He combats it with now always using his middle initial on everything, and that has helped. But there was no way we were going to name our son that same name! Way too confusing. Although now my husband feels bad we discontinued the name, so we are giving the new baby that name as his middle name, but with a unique first name.
JJ
October 17th, 2011
11:16 am
My sister in law settled for a name for her baby, with specific spelling. A month before the birth, we were all told what the baby’s name would be, and how to spell it. We all show up at the hospital with the baby’s name on balloons, banners, etc….only to find out she changed the spelling minutes after the baby was born…….
K's mom
October 17th, 2011
11:20 am
DB-I agree! My husband’s dad died very shortly before our son was born and I think he was trying to be nice to them. We stuck to our guns, but I still get furious when I think about it. I have laid the law down this time…if they make comments, he is to tell them to go to HE!! and not tell me of their intrusions. They are selfish and difficult people and he realizes that and knows he should have been firmer with them last time.
We will go with some variation of a family name this time too. I want a double name (I know the teachers out there hate them) for a girl and possibly a boy. I went to college with a John David and loved his name. And we will announce the name before birth, I am not going to give in to butt-in-skies.
oneofeach4me
October 17th, 2011
11:25 am
We had our first born’s named chosen months before she was born. We like it and so does she. My son, on the other hand became sort of a struggle. His father is a junior and wanted our son to be the third. However, I had to remind him how much he hated his name and how he goes by a name that isn’t’ even on his birth certificate. Needless to say we made the choice on the delivery table and our son has his own name with his own identity (he did get his dad’s middle name though). I don’t regret naming either of them.
RJ
October 17th, 2011
11:42 am
I love my kid’s names. I have no regrets. I sometimes call them by their middle names. Why is this an issue for some? We used my brother’s middle name at home because he was named after my dad. I’ve seen it done a dozen times. A middle name is a kids name so I really don’t get the problem.
BlondeHoney
October 17th, 2011
12:09 pm
@RJ, I agree…gave both my boys traditional family names and I was named after my mom & grandmother and both my oldest son & i have been called by our middle names all our lives. Just seemed to work out that way and never has caused either of us much trouble at all.
Techmom
October 17th, 2011
12:38 pm
@RJ the problem is we live in as a society that calls you by whatever is your legal first name. Go to any school, doctor’s office and even most work places and you’ll see this. I work for a large corporation and everyone’s email, ID badge, etc. is based on their legal name. Ask anyone who goes by their middle name if they like the fact that no one can find them in the directory or that they are constantly called the ‘wrong’ name. It’s just annoying to constantly have to correct people.
Stacey
October 17th, 2011
12:49 pm
I still like my son’s name and I think if fits him. I wanted my husband’s input in naming him but he would only say that he didn’t want a “Jr” (my son has his middle name which neither of them is called). I always like the name and also like it is “resume friendly”. It turns out that it is a variation of my father in law’s name (he died when hubby was a kid) but neither of us thought about it until a family member was touched that we named him after his grandfather. My mother’s name was Isabel and although I hated it when I was a kid, I like it now. Before we knew what we were having, my husband and I agreed that if it was a girl, she would be Isabel. When we told my mother, her response was that she sure hope I have a boy. :-D
My mother in law is one of those who likes to change the spelling of common names and I can’t stand that. While all of her grandkids have common names, my son’s is the only one who has a traditional spelling. One nephew is known by initials that are not actually his (his mom always wanted her son to have those initials but couldn’t think of any names to match).
Becky
October 17th, 2011
1:05 pm
I don’t really like my name, but am very thankful that I don’t have my older sister’s name..She though loves it and it suits her..
@Techmom..I will be 50 in Jan., I go by my middle name and always have..Any Dr., bank, work or anything that I deal with has my middle name on the paperwork and I have never had any problems..Anytime that I fill out paperwork for anything, I put my legal name with a note that this is what I’m called..Most of the people that I work with don’t even know what my first name is..
32 year teacher
October 17th, 2011
1:15 pm
At the moment I have an 8th grade student named MyDestiny. Hard to call her that since she has many, many problems. Academics, attitude, etc., etc. Have to wonder what mama was thinking when she chose the name.
While in graduate school at U of Alabama had a fellow student with the name Female- pronounced Fem-a-lee. Kind of pretty. Parents were imigrants with little English. When her mother was given the hospital birth certificate it identified the baby as ‘Female Last Name. Mother assumed that the hospital named the new babies in this country. Wasn’t until the second daughter was born and her English had improved that she recognized her mistake.
K's mom
October 17th, 2011
1:51 pm
32 year teacher, my best friend teaches and she had a student named Le-a. She called for “Lee-uh” on the first day and was told that the dash was not silent. The child’s name was pronounced La-dash-uh. Why do parents do that to a kid?
I am the only person in my family (parents and brother) that does not go by their middle name. None of them have ever seemed to mind, but my brother has said that the first day of school or a new job was a little irritating.
bessbear
October 17th, 2011
1:54 pm
We were willing to tell friends and family if the baby would be a boy or girl, but we kept our name plans to ourselves. I didn’t want anyone telling me what that name meant to them – “oh, I had an great uncle with that name. He turned out to be a mass murderer”, and such. People can be so annoying when you are planning to have a baby. I felt announching the baby’s birth with his/her name was a special thing. And people are more likely to keep their mouths shut after the baby is born and you’ve already decided.
bessbear
October 17th, 2011
1:56 pm
Forgot to say – we love the names we picked. We wanted a definitely feminine name for daughter and masculine for our son. I hate names that can be both. The only trouble I’ve had is that we put an “h” on our daughter’s name, like sara vs. sarah, and I’ve been surprised how many people, close family and friends, who do not remember that with birthdays and such. It is commonly spelled both ways. It’s not like we went with an unusual spelling.
You do know, don't you, Theresa,
October 17th, 2011
2:45 pm
Enter your comments here
Urban legend alert, urban legend alert...
October 17th, 2011
2:48 pm
…be aware of the Le dash a and Fe ma le legends – those names were around long before 32 year teacher and K’s mom heard them…I know; I heard them back over 40 years ago…
lakerat
October 17th, 2011
3:13 pm
Yes, if you are going to use the “urban legends”, at least get the stories as to the origin of “Ledasha” and “Femolly” right!
Figment
October 17th, 2011
3:56 pm
I wanted a more unusual name for my son but his father didn’t like anything I picked out, and I didn’t like anything he chose (sorry, not naming my son after an animated character!). We ended up agreeing on a name that’s fairly common but not overly so.
I wanted something more unique for my son but not something completely weird. Still, my son’s name suits him and I think it was a good choice. I have a horribly common name and have always wanted something more original, and I loathe my middle name so I don’t use it unless I have to.
motherjanegoose
October 17th, 2011
4:37 pm
@ LM…Jane…haha! yes, I have gone with it for 52 years. The good news is that there are not a lot of folks named Jane, it is easy to spell and pronounce too. I get tickled when I absent- mindedly ( sp?) say Jane….like Dick and Jane…younger people have no idea what this means and that we learned to read with Dick and Jane. Not so much now!
Kate
October 17th, 2011
4:56 pm
Speaking of confusion names can cause, my mother cursed me with and extremely uncommon moniker (not my screen name) that has been hopelessly misspelled and mispronounced my entire life, even by many school teachers. I have had numerous issues with important documents (credit cards, insurance cards, the deed to my house, even my high school diploma) with my name so botched it was hardly recognizable. Trust me, an odd first name can certainly create as many problems or more than being called by a middle name or even a nickname. I always say, if you want your kids to be unique, let them be unique for who they are, not because of some stupid name you gave them!