Have you ever tried to turn your spouse off on purpose?

I have yet to see the Jason Bateman/Ryan Reynold’s movie “The Change-Up,” where a hot-to-trot bachelor changes bodies with a married man. (It got terrible reviews this summer.) However, Michael and I are still cracking up about one scene in the trailer.

In the scene Ryan Reynolds in is the body of his married friend Jason Bateman, and he thinks he’s getting ready to get some from Bateman’s sexy wife Leslie Mann. Before coming to bed, she sits down on the toilet and says “I need to cool it on the Thai food” and then she just lets loose on the toilet. (it’s toward the end of the trailer above.)

Reynolds in Bateman’s body is so grossed out listening to her that he doesn’t want to have sex with her when she comes to bed.

So it got me thinking, I wonder if women ever try to purposely turn their husbands off to avoid having sex? Maybe it’s just one night, maybe it’s many nights. Have you ever tried to purposely gross your husband out or turn him off from having sex that night? If so, how?

100 comments Add your comment

Jeff

September 19th, 2011
5:23 am

Is this the prelude to the next article on why men cheat?

Randy Pan

September 19th, 2011
6:44 am

Ha…thanks for the early morning laugh Jeff; was thinking the exact same thing reading this. I can’t wait to see the responses on this one.

Logic 05

September 19th, 2011
6:45 am

This is why you went to journalism school?

Cedric E. Arle

September 19th, 2011
6:55 am

People who explode into the size of a battlecruiser have found an effective way to turn off spouses permanently.

ByteMe

September 19th, 2011
7:20 am

Just remember: guys don’t need a “why” to have sex, just a “when” and “where”.

dd

September 19th, 2011
7:22 am

Mine has basically turned me off, but I don’t fool around on her.

Just masturbate.

Thought we had all of the details clear before we tied the knot, but what can you do?

Can’t make folks act the way you want them to.

Wish I had known that she wasn’t going to live up to her word. Oh well.

shaggy

September 19th, 2011
7:31 am

dd,

“Thought we had all of the details clear before we tied the knot, but what can you do?”

If you are ironing out “details” about turning one another on or off, right before marriage, you never should have married in the first place, and you would have been better off masturbating as a single masturbator.
Here’s and idea, why don’t you ask the wifey to join in on your masturbating fun? Maybe it is just the thing to stoke the fires. You could even ask the neighbors to join in…after all, that wouldn’t be “fooling around on her” would it?
Right, now get on back to your paper towel dispenser.

dd

September 19th, 2011
7:39 am

Shaggy, it wasn’t the turning on part that I thought was ironed out.

I can turn her on and she can turn me on.

It’s the hot, uninhibited, oral and every possible position part.

She’s not gonna join in and I’ve already been in too many circle jerks with you shaggy.

It was too funny the last time when you couldn’t get it up though.

Randy Pan

September 19th, 2011
7:50 am

This is going south in a hurry…hehe. I am thinking TWG was hoping to have a humorous discussion with the ladies joking about all the clever ways they withhold sex from their husbands and everyone would get a good chuckle. Maybe next blog can be about how all the husbands get away with pretending they are still attracted to their wives. Fair is Fair.

Jeff

September 19th, 2011
7:55 am

Back on topic……if your relationship with your partner is such that you are manipulating him (or her) in the sex department, then you have HUGE communication issues. I expect better. Maybe some of you are OK with that kind of relationship, but not me.

Me

September 19th, 2011
7:55 am

I cannot speak for my better half but, to my knowledge, she has never made such an attempt, intentionally or otherwise. We have a very good life together including the sex.

atlnative

September 19th, 2011
7:58 am

Ladies!Constant nagging is a very big turnoff!

karma

September 19th, 2011
8:04 am

You had all weekend to google/cut/paste something, anything, instead you literally gave us “crap”.

Edward

September 19th, 2011
8:14 am

If the added 200 pounds stuffed into spandex pants that make them look like a bratwurst about to explode, with the folds of multi-chins on their face, that I see waddling around aren’t enough of a turn-off already, well, those men are simply too desperate to be turned off by anything.

Jyn

September 19th, 2011
8:16 am

As a married woman with a 6 year old, I can definitely say that there have been times that given the choice between ‘getting some’ with my husband or getting to sleep early I’ve chosen sleep. I guess that isn’t quite the trying to turn him off on purpose, but somewhat along those same lines since sometimes no matter how good he might be at certain ‘things’, sleep will win out! (just like at times he’s chosen sleep; we just joke about it as being a parent-thing, lol)

Jyn

September 19th, 2011
8:18 am

As for everybody posting negative comments against Theresa – if you really don’t like a topic, is it really worth you exerting the energy to post something instead of just exiting the page and going on to the next part of the paper you were going to read?

Let's see...

September 19th, 2011
8:21 am

…15 comments (as I type this) and only one from a woman (and it was not on target as to the question posed) – you guys REALLY need to get a life…

not me....

September 19th, 2011
8:32 am

I have NEVER done anything on purpose to turn my husband off from having sex… NEVER….

Dan E

September 19th, 2011
8:35 am

After 15 years of a lousy marriage, my ex-wife not only turned me off, but she turned me off from all women. I am not gay, I just prefer football and beer now!!

Dan E

September 19th, 2011
8:37 am

@ Let’s see…

Us guys can’t get a “life”. You women have sucked the will to live out of us!!!

Turned Off

September 19th, 2011
8:39 am

@Dan E. 8:35

…and don’t forget the joy of having all your money in the bank, right where you left it.

mary

September 19th, 2011
8:47 am

um, no I’ve never tried to turn off my husband to avoid sex. What is wrong with you for crying out loud?

   

September 19th, 2011
8:50 am

Yep this is a subject I find very interesting, especially the traditional television portrayal where women laugh and have a good ‘ole time joking about how they mistreat their “dumb husbands” instead of treating him like he’s someone of value.

And they of course the scream like banshees after he eventually finds himself attracted to women who might not treat him like a doormat.

Food for thought!

I won’t marry a woman if she’s going to play the “no sex” card. It’s wrong and a really selfish, stupid way of mistreating someone.

Sylvania

September 19th, 2011
9:02 am

I opt for the lost art of actual communication with my spouse.

dc

September 19th, 2011
9:05 am

I’m amazed that so many women are so clueless about their husbands and men’s God given need for sex. It’s like they starve someone for 3 days, and then send them out to a world full of “all you can eat” buffet’s, and then are surprised that person eats. Damn, if you value your relationship, take responsibility for ensure your husband is satisfied before he goes into a world full of temptation. BTW, I don’t care if you don’t like it, and think he should have enough will power to avoid temptation (after all, you could frankly give a darn about sex…..why does he). It’s the way he’s made. Do something about it, or don’t be surprised when someone else does.

i LOVE...

September 19th, 2011
9:08 am

women AND men turn down sex occasionally. anyone who says they do not is lying. i have turned it down due to the fact that i have had a long day and would rather sleep! LOL

i can’t say that i’ve ever tried to gross my husband out, though. i am usually honest about being tired. and since we’re in the same business, we understand the occasional preference to sleep.

i was looking forward to some stories, though. there HAVE to be women out there who’ve purposely tried to gross out the hubby/bf/gf. stop being mean so they can share! :)

GoldenLocks

September 19th, 2011
9:09 am

Why do people always assume it is the woman who withholds sex?

dc

September 19th, 2011
9:17 am

Because for the vast majority it’s the man who wants and needs sex. (I know, there are always exceptions, but in this case, it’s pretty large majority). And sadly, when the man shuts down, it’s often because they are tired of the “upper hand” that controlling sex gives their partner. So they move to a medium that never says no, or uses it to control them.

abc

September 19th, 2011
9:44 am

Thank you for making me appreciate my excellent wife even more.

DB

September 19th, 2011
9:58 am

To answer the original question: No — why on earth would I want to purposely gross out the man I love? That’s just bizarre . . .

Bella

September 19th, 2011
10:08 am

@ dc

You sound very immature and self absorbed. It is highly probable that YOU have the problem with sex and the woman you choose to be involved with are the normal ones. Try thinking about someone else for a change and not yourself or your needs. Your post is riddled with “me – me – me” then goes own to sound a bit warped about how you move on to get what you want.

Bless Your Heart

September 19th, 2011
10:12 am

“It’s the way he’s made. Do something about it, or don’t be surprised when someone else does.”

Sounds like a threat you have made many times before. Someone’s got issues … and it’s not the woman who get tangled up with the likes of you!

Bless Your Heart

September 19th, 2011
10:16 am

“So they move to a medium that never says no, or uses it to control them.”

You really should seek professional help!

JATL

September 19th, 2011
10:21 am

No, I’m not so sure my husband has a “gross out” point. I’m actually disgusted sometime that he’s not disgusted! I have gone up and down the weight scale, but never to the point of true obesity. I think maybe if there were rolls to navigate or walls of cellulite that may be a complete turn off. I know this is unkind to say, but honestly -how do really big people even manage to have sex? That could be an interesting topic!

Anyway, I’ve certainly never tried to gross him out for any reason. If I’m not in the mood, then I’m not in the mood, and I’ll say something. Personally for me -no sex right after poop regardless of who went. THAT disgusts ME! Ick!

dc

September 19th, 2011
10:43 am

I love it. was waiting for those responses, knew they would come. So many women have no idea how important this is to the relationship…..and so its imo one of the biggest factors in our 50% divorce rate. It’s pretty sad that we can’t even discuss it without the “you are immature and self absorbed”, or “you need professional help” responses. It’s ALWAYS the husbands fault, isn’t it. If he “just helped with the chores”, or “with kids”, or whatever the next excuse is, then I’d have the energy for it.

Men almost always have the physical power in a relationship, and fortunately society has worked to ensure that it’s not used to abuse the wife. But women have the sexual power, and when it’s used to abuse the husband, that’s not an issue.

My wife made a dramatic change in this area about 10 years ago, and it has completely revitalized our marriage. Keep up with the excuses and the “you are immature or need help” responses, if they make you feel better. Ignore the fact that sex is hugely important to men, at your own peril….and keep experiencing the 50% divorce rate. Hope you can console yourself by saying that your ex was “self absorbed and immature”, and “needed counseling”.

Men's Lib

September 19th, 2011
10:47 am

TooPhat

September 19th, 2011
10:54 am

@JATL we fat people do not have sex because some of us can’t. We have to do oral or finger games and once those games become old and boring then we do nothing but turn over, resent one another and go to sleep. My soon to be ex is over 450lbs and does not want to lose weight. It’s turn off to lift up his fat rolls and to see sores or smell a swamp smell. I am not trying to be funny at all but it’s a major turnoff. I myself is almost 300lbs but I am starting a health program to lose my weight. Once I get down to a healthy weight then I will kick my ex to the curb and find someone who wants to be healthy. I don’t see how fat people can have a healthy sex life. We already broke the bed once…..

GoldenLocks

September 19th, 2011
11:03 am

@dc
NO, it’s NOT “the vast majority it’s the man who wants and needs sex.” I know plenty of women with this ‘issue’
NO, it’s NOT “women have the sexual power”….it is whoever is controlling the sex or using it for their power.
Please, do more research on this topic. You are way off base on some of your points.
OR…..you can keep pretending that “you know it all.”

abc

September 19th, 2011
11:05 am

dc makes some good and valid points.

dc

September 19th, 2011
11:07 am

seriously, goldenlocks…..I love the image of a bunch of women sitting around complaining about their husbands withholding sex. would make a great hollywood movie…but clearly isn’t very common. as to “knowing it all”, all I know is what i’ve experienced. don’t need research to share that.

GoldenLocks

September 19th, 2011
11:14 am

@dc……..”all I know is what i’ve experienced”………….that fits me as well.
What type of research did you conduct to declare “clearly isn’t very common?”

It may not be AS common as men, but it IS a problem……and one you fail to recognize.
You should get out more often.

dc

September 19th, 2011
11:17 am

Hate that you are experiencing that, Goldenlocks. It is a bummer, and I mean that seriously. It’s such a huge component to a fulfilling relationship.

abc

September 19th, 2011
11:32 am

I’d speculate that the only reasons a man would purposely avoid sex with his wife is that she’s let herself go to the point of being very unattractive to him, or something about the relationship has become broken. Maybe some ED issues. Avoidance due to just not feeling like it or to wield some kind of power (which is weird in itself, no matter who instigates) just isn’t a typical male behavior.

www.LittleVoyages.com

September 19th, 2011
12:21 pm

Interesting, but may you can take a class at Little Voyages and tell him not today in Chinese, French, or Spanish. He’ll never know what hit him! :-)

Mavis

September 19th, 2011
12:22 pm

Apparently, men NEVER let themselves go…..it’s always the woman……

Women’s work is NEVER done…….It’s hard. Women do everything. Men just go to work. They are so tired when they get home, they can’t cook, clean, help with THEIR children, homework, etc. Usually, they end up on the sofa with the tv remote in hand, complaining about how tired they are, because they worked all day long. What you do think we do all day long. chase the kids, drive them everywhere, watch their sporting events, cook, clean, laundry, and then you want us to be a tiger in the bed. Where’s my incentive??????? Why don’t you help me with some of this. Oh, yea and I have a full time job too……you aren’t the only one bringing in money, but I’m the only one running this house. You just come home and plop on the sofa and expect to be catered too…….I’m tired, I’m going to put the kids to bed, then, after taking care of EVERYONE else for the day, I’m going to go take a bath. Oh wait, you need dinner, it’s on the stove. Fix your own damn plate. You should have gotten home at a decent time……

Debbie

September 19th, 2011
12:27 pm

What the hell kind of article is this? If I don’t want sex, I say no. Why would I embarass myself or make myself look bad in front of my spouse on purpose? That’s just crazy.

abc

September 19th, 2011
12:29 pm

Yeah, yall really do make me appreciate my excellent wife, even more. With drama like that, I wouldn’t blame him for wishing he didn’t have to come home at all, Mavis.

Raisin Toast Fanatic

September 19th, 2011
12:30 pm

I’m going to go take a bath. Oh wait, you need dinner, it’s on the stove. Fix your own damn plate. You should have gotten home at a decent time…

Congratulations. With this attitude, this is why you are or will be divorced or encouraging your man to find another woman.

Personally rather than deal with crap like this I’d marry a (real, not American-born) latina woman who knows how to treat her husband, or stay single. OOOOfff!

  

September 19th, 2011
12:33 pm

Ya’ll are just mad at DC for calling you out.

This happens every time.

Because after all, men are only to be be treated as sperm donors and a source of income, right? Not like human beings with feeling who actually need love and attention and to feel wanted.

Perish the thought!

shaggy

September 19th, 2011
12:44 pm

Mavis,

You and dd the masturbator should get together. He would be fine with everything you said, just give him some tissue and a little privacy.