Nothing like a few nights with grandparents

Dad Days of Summer: While Momania’s Theresa Walsh Giarrusso takes a vacation, local dad and sportswriter Andy Johnston will be filling in. You can e-mail him at ajcmomania@gmail.com.

Ty loves spending time with his grandparents.

And they love having him around.

Andy and his son Ty.

Andy and his son Ty.

For Ty, hanging out with either set of his grandparents is like an all-expenses paid trip to a resort.

It means unlimited play time, unlimited Chick-fil-A nuggets and ice cream, an afternoon at one of those jumpy bouncy places and usually a surprise trip to the toy department at Target.

In return, they get quality time with him. They get to roughhouse with him, teach him – Grandma and Mimi are both educators – bake him cookies, take him to movies, hug on him and generally spoil him.

It works out great for everyone, and it’s convenient since our parents live in the metro area.

Some of our friends’ kids also have been able to spend time alone with their grandparents this summer, with some heading to other states for visits while school’s out. 

I’m writing about this because Ty is spending a couple of days with my parents so Lori and I can write a few stories and meet a bunch of deadlines before all three of us head to Florida for a long weekend.

When we talked to Ty on the phone Monday afternoon — just a couple of hours after he left – Lori told him she already missed him.

He immediately replied in his sweet voice, “Really?” and we could imagine his eyebrows shooting up and a smile on his face.

More than likely he was smiling because my parents were about to pull into Dairy Queen.

For those of you who are grandparents, there is a lot of info on Grandparents.com.

How does it feel when when your children spend stay overnight with grandparents or other family members?

Do you feel like you should cherish the time to clean the house, do the laundry, or go on a date night?

Do you feel guilty for having someone else handle your parenting responsibilities?

- By Andy Johnston, for the Momania blog

38 comments Add your comment

djm_NC

July 26th, 2011
5:53 am

most of my best childhood memories are of spending time with my grandparents. now that im a grandmother of 5 with one on the way-i love spending as much time with them as i possibly can. i was very lucky to have my grandparents for a very very long time. my own children werent that lucky. i missed that experience for them. there is absolutely nothing like a child having loving grandparents to visit. its such a different dynamic than the relationship with a parent. no one should feel guilty for enjoying the time their kids are with the grands…its a time for the parents to do whatever they choose–but more-it is a time for the kids and the grands to build a relationship that (to me) is one of the best and most important relationships they will have in their lives.

newblogger

July 26th, 2011
6:56 am

I wouldn’t trade weekends with my MeMaw for anything! My cousin and I would spend the weekend with her once or twice a month. She didn’t drive but somehow managed to have all the best treats right there in her house. She taught us to sew and allowed us to use whatever fabric she had lying around to create whatever we wanted. She had an awesome climbing tree and enough places in her house to spend all day treasure hunting. My own children get to enjoy time with their grandparents, but not as much as I’d like since they live 3 hours away. It is time well spent for all involved!

motherjanegoose

July 26th, 2011
7:12 am

God Bless wonderful grandparents. I have a few fond memories of my Grandmother:
Ovaltine, Prell shampoo and Dial soap in her bathtub and typing on her manual typewriter.
She also sent me books of stamps in college, so I could send notes to her and my parents.

My kids have no memories as their Grandparents never got involved in their lives. There is no spending the night with them as that is not something the Grandparents are interested in. Mine have not seen their Grandparents in probably 5 or 10 years. It is more than pitiful but the Grandparents cannot be bothered to come here and when we go there ( 10 plus hours away) they do not take an interest in them. They do not even call on the phone, to talk to them.

Do not take your wonderful relationship for granted. My two have no idea what this would be like and are confused why some of their friend’s Grandparents have showed up for all birthday parties and sports events, purchased them a car for graduation or take them on vacation and they do not even get a birthday gift from theirs.

I hope to turn the tide here and be a Grandmother who shows her kids how much she loves them.

Off to the oral surgeon for wisdom teeth removal for my daughter. Please keep us in your prayers…thanks!

motherjanegoose

July 26th, 2011
7:13 am

ooops ..shown up…sorry

JJ

July 26th, 2011
8:17 am

Awwww memories. I had a Grandmother, and a Grandma and Grandpa. I was closest to my Grandmother. Grandpa was an alcoholic, and my Grandma was just the sweetest person alive. She passed away when I was 15, she was the first relative I lost. She always had RootBeer Floats for my brother and I when we came to visit. She served them in these “special” mugs, and my mom still has the mugs. Everytime I see them in her cabinet, I think back to those days and I crave a RootBeer Float, and sitting on their front porch, looking over Salt Lake City……

I used to write a letter to my Grandmother, every Monday. She and I liked the same tv shows, so on the weekends I would call her and we would talk about our shows. She passed when she was 90, right after my daughter was born. I have the 4 generations picture with her, my Mom, me and my daughter. It was taken shortly before she died.

My mom is an Awesome Grammy. She used to take all three kids for a week at a time, all together. Spoiled them rotten. Took them shopping, to Yellow River Game Ranch, Stone Mountain, Fernbank, the Zoo, etc. She used to take each granddaughter, separately, and buy all their school clothes at the beginning of every school year. My daughter loved it, and misses that shopping with Grammy……..Grammy just took the entire family down to PCB for a week of fun and sun. She is an Awesome Mom too!!!!!!! I can’t say enough about my Mom. I love her dearly and I am so thankful she is healthy and active at 81.

Techmom

July 26th, 2011
8:27 am

I grew up military so I never lived near grandparents. My parents however are like second parents to my son; partly because I had him young and partly because they simply enjoy having him around. We lived in the same town until my son was 3 and then they moved to Texas for a few years. We made a lot of trips to drop him off/pick him up half way and as soon as he was able to fly alone, off he went! He’s been able to do so many things because he has involved grandparents and it allowed me to do some things I needed to do without neglecting my son. The summers when he was 3 and 4, I was working full time and took summer classes which kept me in class 4 nights a week so he spent 6 weeks with my parents. It allowed me to finish two classes each summer thus I was able to still graduate on time since I was only taking 2-3 during the regular semesters. I absolutely missed him but I also knew he was making memories and in good hands.

My in-laws on the other hand are the grandparents who will buy things to show their love versus doing things. My mom often felt guilty for not buying him so much stuff when he was younger and I had to tell her, her time was what matters. My son will remember the camping trip to Colorado and the trip to Universal Studios and Sea World 10 times over before he’ll remember that his other grandmother bought him an Gameboy.

Mom of 2

July 26th, 2011
8:33 am

My kids just got back from a trip to see their Abuelos all the way in Puerto Rico. My parents are deceased so my in-laws are the only grandparents left. I only really had one grandmother (deceased) growing up and we just returned from visiting her house before the kids left. So many memories. I really want for my children to spend as much time with Los Abuelos and create wonderful memories (plane tix costs will be ignored) that they can cherish. Los Abuelos are wonderful and spoil them rotten as they should. I look forward to being a grandmother one day and doing the same for my grandchildren.

Becky

July 26th, 2011
9:03 am

Andy, most on here know that my two “grandkids” aren’t really mine..Short version, they are my nephews twins and don’t have any “real” grandparents that are involved with them..

When they were a month old, I started keeping them on weekends, then as they got older it went to every weekend..They are 9 now and they pretty much stay with us year round..For the last two summers, they have only went “home” a total of maybe 5 days between the two of them..During the school year, they go to school, then ride the bus home to their Mom and Dads..I pick them up after I get off work and take them to school the next morning..

I never knew my grandparents on my Mom’s side..I only knew my grandmom on my Dad’s side..She was not a “real” grandmom..She never wanted any of us around and the only time that we ever saw her was when my Mom would take us to visit..So I like to make sure that my two know that they are loved and cherished..We try to make lots of childhood memories for them..So far, I (just my opinion) think that we have done a pretty good job..

So you and Lori enjoy it and don’t feel guilty..Based on what we’ve learned about you in the last few weeks, y’all seem to be doing a darn good job with Ty..

mom2alex&max

July 26th, 2011
9:51 am

I grew up very close to both sets of grandparents and I was very blessed.

My children adore their abuelos (my parents) and routinely spend time and overnights with them. I am more grateful for that relationship than almost anything else in my life. As we have become more mobile, children don’t have that relationship anymore. And also, there’s been some kind of modernization of grandparenting….they are “too busy” living a happy child free life and they don’t spend much time with their grandchildren. It’s so sad.

LM

July 26th, 2011
10:25 am

I met my mom’s parents after I was nine. She would take us to visit during the summer so you could focuse on work and have some “me” time. I enjoyed the time I spent at their farm, but never felt connected to them. My grandmother tried to show us attention, but even as kids we knew we were not the treasured grandchildren that our cousins were. My grandfather never spoke to either my brother or myself. After my mother got divoriced he swore he would never speak to her again. He kept his promise and since we were a part of her life after the divorce, he in turn did not speak to us. My older sister and our cousins had the grandparents who treasured and loved them.

My daughter’s grandparents on her fathers side wanted to spend just about every weekned with the grandkids. They had a pool and summers were spent just being kids, swimming, playing with dolls, shopping with their grandmother. After the cousins were born, the grandmother shut out my daughter and also her older half-sister. There was now a grandson, then along came the last a girl so the older kids were no longer wanted or invited.

My mom is not the baking cookies and snuggling up to watch a movie kind of grandmother. She loves my daughter and all of her grandkids but was never a social person. As she has gotten older she has become much more reclusive. She enjoys being alone with her own company, it is just her.

Lady Strange

July 26th, 2011
10:37 am

My son sees both of his grandmothers a lot. We currently live with my mother while I recover financially from my divorce and my ex’s mom watching him for me during the weekdays while I am at work. My father lives in Wisconsin so my son only gets to see him once a year when we go to visit and my ex’s father passed before our son was born. When I was growing up our family spent a week with each set of grandparents a year when we went home to Wisconsin for our yearly visits.

I was closer to my mom’s parents than my father’s mom. Our family spent a week a year with both grandparents since I was little, which isn’t a lot of time but you make every moment count. My mom’s dad is dying of cancer but my dad’s mom is still doing well. I’m glad my son has this time to spend with his grandmas. We moved far away from my grandparents when I was 6 and we only got to see them once a year.

Denise

July 26th, 2011
10:38 am

I am sitting here smiling thinking of my time with my grandparents…and looking at pictures of them at my desk. I have a picture of my mother’s parents from their 25th wedding anniversary (of course I wasnt there) and a picture of my father’s mother with my father, my niece and my nephews. (I also have a picture of my mother when she was one because that is one of the most beautiful pictures I have ever seen!) I am the oldest grandchild on my father’s side and I take great pride in the fact that! I rub in that fact AND that I look just like my grandmother and that I am the only one who is named after her. (Yes I am still a brat about my grandmother at 38 but I had her first!!!). I have so many positive memories…some negative…but mostly good. I know I told yall about my Papa bringing me a bag full of feminine hygiene products when he found out I was a “young lady”! The horrors! But he was trying to be supportive and a good Papa. LOL! When I was with him and Granny, Granny and I had a routine. Lunch for 12:00 noon, watching the news, and Days of Our Lives for 12:30 laying in the middle of the living room floor. Granny has been gone for 10 years and Papa for 5 so Mother (my father’s mother) is the only Old Person (that’s what I call her) that I have left. Lord, I’m getting teary-eyed thinking about it so I better stop!

catlady

July 26th, 2011
10:48 am

My grandmothers were wonderful to me. (granddads died too young). I was close with both but especially with one, who lived with or near us all my life. It was my dad’s mom. He was an only child, I was an only child, you get the picture? She was about 4 ft 10 but had the heart of a lion. I was so lucky.

My other grandmother I used to visit. I would get to sleep in her bed. She had the most unusual stuff, like a “piddly pot” in the bedroom so you wouldn’t have to go out on the porch at night to get to the bathroom. She also could do the most amazing thing. When she read, the Bible mostly, or the Sunday school lesson, she would whisper-read the words! I was never allowed to do that–it had to be all outloud or silently. I tried so hard to learn to whisper-read! This grandmother had 8 adult kids so there were many grandchildren but I like to think we were especially close. When she got older, she came to live in our town at a high rise for the elderly that my other grandmother was living in. They were 2 floors apart.

I never could understand it, but they called each other Mrs. —– and Mrs.____. I tried to make them understand that they were related–co-grandmothers of ME!

They were a little competitive. If my mother did something for one she had to immediately do something similar for the other. IF she asked one to make yeast rolls, she asked the other to make coffee cake. They were both excellent cooks and did fancy work–both crocheted, and sewed, and one tatted (made lace). My dad’s mom had a 6th grade education, and my mom’s actually had some college, so maybe that is the source of their seeming distance? I loved them both dearly.

My children had plenty of contact with my parents, but rarely stayed with them for long. My mother made it clear that they were MY children to take care of–she was no babysitter. They adored my dad; he was quiet and generous with his attention, and did not gripe at them or criticize me in front of them. My husband’s mother died early and his dad was not involved with them at all.

I have not kept any of my grandchildren (4!) overnight, but I enjoy having them for any little bit. My granddaughter, who is almost 4, has spent the night at her other grandmother’s often, but they live only 2 miles from my daughter and SIL, rather than the 80 miles I live away. I hope all of them have the happy, loving memories of me that I have of my grandmothers. I sure am getting many happy memories in the time I spend with them!

catlady

July 26th, 2011
10:55 am

Oh, another example of the competition: One day my parents were gone and both my grandmothers came over to “take care of” me. I was about 15 or 16. I was out mowing the yard, and I stopped and hollered in the door for a glass of tea. When I came back around the side of the house, there were TWO glasses of tea waiting for me!

JJ

July 26th, 2011
10:56 am

I’m looking forward to my Grandma years, but not for a while. I still need JJ time…..

roget

July 26th, 2011
11:03 am

I loved the summers spent in GA (I was from MD) with my grandparents and my cousins. It is nothing like getting to know your family. My grandparents wanted me to visit and my mother was ready for us to go. LOL!!! When you visit family your kids get a peek into your past, your childhood. Also, some lessons of life are taught by others so spending time with the grands is an opportunity for the kids to learn.

When my kids go away, I don’t do anything that I would normally do when they are here i.e. clean the house. We clean before they leave. I eat out, hang out with friends, take my time getting home after work, see a movie when I want to, etc., etc, etc.

The grandparents are not handling yor parenting responsibilities when the kids go for a visit. Who came up with that notion???? It is called quality time. I believe that everyone enjoys it as long as it is welcomed.

Andy Johnston

July 26th, 2011
11:06 am

Thanks for the great stories. Keep them coming.

I didn’t really know my grandparents — they lived 3-4 hours away and died when I was younger — so I want Ty to spend a lot of time with his and build memories that he will have the rest of his life.

Catlady — I don’t know if there’s open competition between his grandmothers. :) It’s tough when Ty is the only one on my side and he’s one of five on Lori’s side.

Yep

July 26th, 2011
11:07 am

My kids just returned from a week at Nana and Papas. They had just as much fun as we spent a couple of weeks ago in Florida. Aside from fishing, swimming, riding their go-cart and playing with their cousins for a week, they got to take in what it was like to be me when I was their age. I think that grandparents play a vital role in allowing children to understand “where they come from” better. Connecting with their roots really helps to ground them and get to know the extended members of the family.

I certainly know that my parents have just as much fun with them as the kids do. After all, children provide an excuse to act like kids, right? The greatest gift I can give to both my kids and my parents is to let them spend time together, even though I can not be there with them.

Yep

July 26th, 2011
11:09 am

I wish that we lived closer to the grandparents so that our kids could visit more often.

Lisa

July 26th, 2011
11:11 am

I just picked my little guy up from my parents in Alabama. They had him for an entire week and they had a blast together. I missed him terribly but it was nice to have a week to come home from work and kick my heels up. My In-laws have asked if he can go to the beach with them for a week sometime soon. I think I will take them up on it!

motherjanegoose

July 26th, 2011
11:22 am

We are home and we have drugs…LOL. I am trying to be quiet :)

When my Mom was 50 ish, she informed us that she was too old to keep the grandkids. I am going to be 52 in a bit and am all over the floor with various little kids most days. We have neighbors and friends whose parents are in their 70’s and they keep the grandkids. We have little kids over her and I go to the pool and movies with them too.

One of my best friends is almost 70. She is the neatest person. We talk on the phone several times each week and she travels like I do. I met her on business about 15 years ago and she lives in another state but her grandkids live here in Gwinnett. She was here in June ( for a week to watch her grandkids) and took her grandson to the place where my daughter works, to see her. She then told me, “(your daughter) looked at me when I got there and then at my 6 year old grandson and said YOU HAVE THE BEST GRANDMA!”

It brought tears to my eyes as my daughter never knew her Grandmas. My friend truly is an awesome Grandma and I hope I can be half as wonderful as she is. I tease her that she is my surrogate Mother as my Mom has been gone for almost 16 years.

Cynde

July 26th, 2011
11:53 am

I grew up close to mother’s parents and infact most days after school we would walk to grandma and grandpa’s house to have hot cookies and cold milk and call mom and tell her that we would be home shortly – after all the cookies were gone. My grandparents had 10 children so there were a lot of grandchildren but we all felt special. In fact next year would have been their 100th wedding anniversary and the cousins are going to take a cruise in their honor. Now for my own grandchildren – there is nothing that I wouldn’t do for them. They are the most wonderful reward for getting older in fact I’m late I’m going to meet the 3 youngest ones for lunch ( 5-year old twins and their cousin who is 12). I loved my grandparents and I love being a grandparent even more.

penguinmom

July 26th, 2011
12:13 pm

My kids just returned Sunday from a week with their grandparents on their dad’s side. They thoroughly enjoyed visiting with their cousins and staying busy doing crafts, playing games and taking in the sights up there. I love when they go to their grandparents house because it gives them time to make memories and it gives us a little break. I think it is important for them to get the chance to make stronger bonds with the extended family and also to experience a bit of life in a different house with different rules.

When our kids were younger we had what we called ‘re-entry’ time when they came home from visiting grandparents. It was a couple of days when they adjusted to the fact that our regular home rules applied instead of the grandparent’s much looser set. Didn’t really have a huge reentry time this time probably because they are much older and can keep the two sets of rules separate.

Unfortunately, my parents are both deceased. When they were alive, my older 2 kids did spend time with them. By the time the youngest was born, they weren’t really able to keep up with the 3 kids any more. I am really sad that my youngest especially hasn’t had the chance to get to know my parents since my dad died when he was 2. Even my middle child, who was 6 at the time, really doesn’t have strong memories of my parents.

Does anyone have problems with the grandparents actively working against rules/standards you have in place? I don’t have this often but it does crop up a little with what TV shows/movies we let them watch. I always give the kids freedom to watch more things when they are at the grandparents but even that gets push back from them. They were frustrated that my eldest (15) wouldn’t let his younger siblings watch two kids movies that we really don’t approve of (one was way too scary and one was stupid and had bad language). They also talk about how ‘this show is okay’ or ‘we like this show’ about things my kids can’t watch at home. It would be nice to have a little support on the standards we have set for our family.

joannswaffordcarroll

July 26th, 2011
12:19 pm

I’m busy packing for vaca, but couldn’t resist a shout out to two of the most TREASURED grandparents my two (now grown) children could have ever had! I will try to be the kind of grandparent as my in-laws were/are still even in their late 80’s…..but it’s no use as I will never be able to top all their sweetness and just so much raw love for my kids. One thing that stands out is that they had a note AND candy (of course!) for every occasion……….be it Easter, Halloween, Valentine’s, St. Patrick’s ( a good one since no one Irish in the fam)…….but you get it. BEST part was that they respected my “mom rules” (to a point–ha ha). Anyway, they’d always call before dropping by OR asking us to drop by.

AngryRedMarsWoman

July 26th, 2011
12:24 pm

My maternal grandmother — magical woman. Well into my teens I spent every Friday night with her and Saturday mornings doing her grocery shopping and then off for lunch together. I spent a few weeks with her at the lake every summer. Her husband, my grandfather, was pretty much a jerk but he wasn’t around much to impact our time. I did not know my paternal grandparents until I was a teenager because my father’s mother was a nasty woman who refused to acknowledge us until then….her loss, but I feel sorry for his father as he seemed a lovely man in the short time I knew him. I was blessed to know great-grandparents on both sides – nifty people, all of them.

My son is the only grandchild on both my and my X’s side, but he is many states away from both sets of grandparents. My folks travel often to see him and we visit with them every Spring (they live in Disney’s backyard), they call, write letters and send cards and gifts. My X’s parents couldn’t be bothered to see him when we were married, so what did I expect after he left and himself has almost no relationship with my son….nothing and got nothing. Again, their loss as he is an amazing young man. Unfortunately, my wonoderful grandmother died when my son was only a couple of years old and although we made the trip to see her once or twice he has no recollection of her….sad.

Blessed are those who have at least one loving grandparent in their lives.

AngryRedMarsWoman

July 26th, 2011
12:27 pm

“Does anyone have problems with the grandparents actively working against rules/standards you have in place?”

I thought they were required by law to do that – gosh I miss my grandma.

unnamed

July 26th, 2011
12:28 pm

I’m the only one I’ve ever met who, as a child, used to look forward to spending a week in “the projects” in Brooklyn each summer (from my home in Virginia) to visit my Grandma (and Grandpa) and aunt and uncles who were still living at home with grandma and grandpa. No, Grandma didn’t exactly play with me because she was still raising her younger kids, and she didn’t take me exciting places or really DO anything with me, but she fed me the best food, and walked me to food markets, and made sure I had a good bath every night, and let me use her Cashmere Bouquet powder, and hugged me lots, and let me know that I was the best thing ever (aside from her eight kids, and 9 other grandkids). I could FEEL the LOVE (the definition of “love” includes a picture of my Grandma Sepha!) My other Grandma couldn’t cook, but could drive a car so could take me to McDonald’s or Rockaway Park or shopping for outfits. Both my Grandmas were called “Mami” by me, until the day they were both in the room with my MOMMY/Mami and I yelled, “Mami!”. All three answered, of course. My Grandpa was the scary man who always went to church. I miss them all tremendously!

Now, my kids are young adults and I am thankful that my parents were (and still are) the great kind of Grandparents. Mom was always ready and willing to drive 2 1/2 hours to watch them for the night or weekend. She would sometimes drive up to get them and take them back home for a week or more. She took them to parks, and the beach, and played games with them, and cooked special food, and made them clothes, and spoiled them rotten. I would tell her she didn’t have to do so much with them and her answer was always the same, “One day they won’t want to spend time with Grandma and Grandpa, so I have to make these memories now.” The other day my son and I were in Virginia visiting my folks. We were talking about him going off to college next month and my mom started crying. My son said, “Grandma! Why are you crying?! You will be seeing me more than you do now! I’m only going to be (in Virginia) 2 1/2 hours from you for the next four years!” (as opposed to the 10-11 hours we are currently!) Hmmm, maybe that’s why she cried!? Anyway, both kids have a great relationship with my parents.
On the flip side, when my husband and I first had our daughter, we were told by my MIL, “I raised my children, I’m done. I’m not going to raise your too, so don’t ask me to watch your kids.” Okaaaaay. The MIL lives three miles from us and sees the kids/us once every two or three months for a few minutes or as long as dinner lasts, maybe. Yes, she ended up watching the kids for a night or two a couple of times when the kids were older and didn’t need much watching, but the kids were told to bring their own food if they stayed at her house, OR she would bring them back to our house to eat. She’s always been “just some relative” to them. When something good happens and I tell the kids, “You should call Grandma and Grandpa”, they quickly do. When I tell them to call the MIL, they usually say, “Why? She doesn’t care.” I want to be the Grandma on Speed dial!

unnamed

July 26th, 2011
12:32 pm

Oh, yeah, last comment – my kids were blessed to know both my Grandmas. I know they barely remember Grandma Sepha and Grandma Eppie, but I have pictures and know how they enjoyed each other’s company!

campbell's mom

July 26th, 2011
12:37 pm

Grandparents!! What’s not to love. I was soo fortunate that I grew up with both sets, disciplining, loving, teaching, helping to raise me and the rest of my 12 1st cousins and a large assortment of friends and strays. Are you kidding, some of my best memories are of capers we performed while at their house. I just would not be the person I am today without the wonderful selfless teachings of my grandparents. We got our hind parts tanned good for misbehaving, but they taught us respect and right from wrong. They also taught us all how do be giving and unselfish, we were not wealthy, but anyone who came by dropped in, or just didn’t have a place to go, we made room for them at the table, and a table that was often sparse. That’s just what you did for people. My paternal grandmother died in October at 97, paternal grandpa in 94 in his eighties.

motherjanegoose

July 26th, 2011
12:49 pm

@ angry…my parents also live ( d) in Disney’s back yard …about 45 minutes. Nothing happening.
We combined trips of US taking the kids to the theme parks and then stopping over to see the Grandparents. We even stayed in a hotel. I recently mentioned this to my Dad when he mentioned that he realizes he never got to know the grandkids ( all of them are in or just out of college) . He asked my sister if the other grandparents ever offered to take my kids to Disney. WHAT? They live 1500 miles away from Disney and never went themselves.

Crazy memories…all of them. I vow to be the fun Grandma that many of you have around and enjoyed yourselves! My husband has had so much fun playing frisbee and ball with our little dog, I hope he will too be a wonderful Grandpa…in maybe 5 or 10 years!

jmb

July 26th, 2011
1:07 pm

I loved my grandma more than I loved life itself. I pretty much lived with her most of my life because I just wouldn’t go home and I hated my step-dad (she did too). I helped her in the garden, helped her string beans and then helped her with canning them. Most nights were spent sitting and cutting pieces for her quilts or shelling peas to plant the next year. Even though she had over 30 grandchildren, my cousin and I were more like her own children since neither of us had a real father. My grandfather was just a special but he was a quite man that liked to sit in whittle under a tree. My grandma was my rock when mamma died and then I lost her 3 years later. That’s truely when my circle of life was broken and I felt like an orphan of sort.
My own children will never know those feelings sad to say. My son had my mom until he was 15 but my girls barely remember her. Same with their dads side. His dad died when they were even younger and his mom remarried and never really spent any time with them other than to cook Christmas dinner.
As for being a grandmother myself, I absolutely adore my granddaughter but don’t get to see her often because they live so far away. The first of August they’re moving about 20 mins from me so I’m hoping that all will change. I would love to give my granddaughter just 1/4 the memories mine gave me if it’s even possible.

penguinmom

July 26th, 2011
1:11 pm

@angry – I think there is a difference between having ‘grandparent’ rules at their house and actively working to undermine rules I set at mine. I respect their rules at their house and am glad the kids get a chance to experience a different reality. I am glad they spoil the kids. I would just like them to respect that we have different rules at our house for a reason.

Cynde

July 26th, 2011
1:26 pm

Just had lunch with 3 grandsons – nothing better. I only hope they grow up with memories of their grandparents like I did. I still think my grandparents could walk on water. They were the best and we had so much fun from weeding the garden, to playing checkers to making cookies. I even learned to transplant flowers from grandpa. You can tell I loved by grandparents and they have been gone since the 60″s but I still have wonderful memories of them. Grandparents just need to lvoe their grandchildren and be there for them.

Bummy Bummersteen

July 26th, 2011
1:29 pm

and campbell’s mom, you’re right about grandparents but too much today it’s been changed to “Grandparents, what’s,,,not to love” not good.
also I am a step parent and step grand parent. to everyone that knows a decent stepparent and especially a really good stepparent, please take the time praise their wonderful efforts. as parents so often break up the family unit over pettiness or selfish reasons, stepparents play a more important role than ever before. to treat a child good, to help raise a child to even give love and respect and love to a child that isn’t their own, may even mistreat them with hurt and resentment caused by the parents. to earn love where it isn’t automatic, to have to do it first and stay the course after initial insults and harm that comes their way so often, to do this and do it well is a job many times more noble than that of the actual parent. I’ve thought so often that sometime after mothers day and fathers day should come stepparents day. they need it, at least someone should try occasionally to say something nice to them about what is so over looked, but no, what did we get? the recent movie ‘the stepfather’ that’s nice. and like it or not it’s mostly women causing problems and breakups in marriages today, as they kick their man to the curb when their kids reach near college age or get out of the house age, so as to live and party cause that’s what they feel they deserve after taking care of the kids and all that hard work they did. so where was dad during all of this? today? changing diapers, cooking meals, taking formula to the crib in the middle of the night, too. supporting the NFL as it wears pink for the sake of women. it’s men that have come a long way baby! and how were they rewarded by women promoting, defending and accepting violence against me in so many movies and tv shows. even after men were asked to help make things equal and take steps to decrease domestic violence, and they did. nothing will ever be perfect except imperfection. and saying it didn’t happen, doens’t change the truth, women tearing up a family unit as I have watched 4 guys I know. we’re all in our forties, have the rug pulled out from under them when they are thinking about them and their wives gettng to spend time together, travlel, one day enjoy retirement together, losing their families, their wives and their homes in humiliating ways, and these are good men, not perfect, are you? as you can hear over and over again ‘where are all the good men at?’ ladies just stop one of us wherever you are, and just because a few guys were jerks and didn’t get directions when they were lost and that label has stuck n all men, ok, you can have that one, we can’t ask for directions, but what is true, we can give directions well, you can even do a gender test on that one if you like, just stop any man any where and can draw you a map to where you can find a good man. sometimes you’ll already be there. then this guy who did no real wrong, his crime wa that he got a little stale without any encouragement from his partner, or was denied sex for too long, probably thinks oral sex was just a dream he had by then its so bad. has to start over on his own, in a job market that sucks, find a way to live with rent, car groceries and the party money that is so often the child support check. as he watches himself beg for time with his withheld and anti-dad re-educated children so much that he will cancel important events to be the PAYING babysitter so mom can go out. and as he hears of the happy good times of the divorce party that he wasn’t even invited to. and anyone that can be part of any divorce party is a little sick in the head. divorce is the death of something, divorce is not the end goal to marriage that it has become. even if the man was mostly bad it still isn’t right. and no matter how much bad can be put on the man, the wife still made her share of mistakes,. but its the man that will be held responsible, even for things not owned by him. my parents divorced, my dad did was mostly wrong, and I was glad when my mom in our case di the right thing. but in no way should a divorce party ever have been held. my dad did what I thought was all his fault, he got all the blame. but as an adult and learning about some things later, when a man has an affair after years of neglect in the bedroom, and lack of effort from his wife and as I know shortly after the honeymoon sometimes one person can make the decision of two to remove oral sex from the marriage, even though it was used to ensure the marriage in a way in the first place, that it wasn’t all his fault, don’t know if he even deserved half of the blame, a reaction to a cause. and see what has happened to me and how hurtful it can be and as a man you have no support system around you, I think it just might need to be changed from being called ‘cheating’ and start being called ‘compensating. he compensated on his wife, well then, she should’ve looked at herself maybe. and y’all are gonna love this one, adultery so bad? ask Joseph if it happened to him, and how ’bout all those nuns and polygamy as their wedding bands imply?

Becky

July 26th, 2011
1:36 pm

@unnamed..Ahh, the long drive to pick up grandkids..I rememeber it well..For the first 3 yrs. that I kept my two on weekends, I drove 200 miles roundtrip on Fri. to pick them up and 200 miles roundtrip on Sun. to take them home..Was worth every minute of it..

My two have a grandffather that reminds me of you MIL (sorta)..Their grandfather lives 2 hrs. away and only sees the kids (maybe) twice a year..They actually have a grandmom (my sister) and she’s the same way, has no interest in seeing them unless she is drinking..I feel for them because it is their loss and my gain..

ssidawg

July 26th, 2011
4:14 pm

The kids in my family LOVE to spend time at my parents’ house in Dawsonville. Fishing, games, rides on the John Deere Gator, it’s a never-ending party. And the kids love it too. :-)

Watching my parents with my son, niece and nephew is priceless.

Tuckergirl

July 26th, 2011
8:51 pm

My son is blessed in that he has my husband’s parents to spoil him (although they are 3 hours away) and my mother is an hour away. She sees him about once a week, sometimes more.

My grandparents all lived in Ohio and we moved when I was five. I rarely got to see them so we never had a close relationship, although I loved them. My mother’s parents came to visit us maybe three times over the years while my father’s father and stepmother came often. I was always jealous of other kids who got to spend weekends with their grandparents or celebrate birthdays. Never had that.

I lost my Dad in 2003, four years before my son was born. I know my Dad would have spoiled him rotten, would have taken him everywhere and taught him how to throw a football, etc. Sometimes I get a little misty eyed about that because I regret that he never got to see him.

I think Dad felt that way for us because his mother (my grandmother) died several years before my sister and I were born. I do wish I had known her because they were very close and I always wonder what she was like. I see her pictures and she was beautiful, known for her dry wit (which I inherited).

For those of you with grandparents nearby, thank God for the privilege because it’s not always the case.

djm_NC

July 26th, 2011
9:44 pm

mjg-i am sure that because of your kids not having a relationship with their grandparents you will be the grandparent to theirs that you would have loved for your kids to have. its sad when grandparents dont take an interest. it is such an important relationship. i could write a book on the memories i have of my grandparents…all of them. i even had great grandparents until i was a teen. my kids havent had a lot of grandparenting…my parents both passed away before they could know my kids…and because of divorce and long distance the ones they did have they never saw much. my youngest daughter still has her grandpa and since her grandmother died she has made a bigger effort to be in her grandfathers life. personally i never would have known what love is if it wasnt for my grandparents.

your kids are lucky to have such great parents, maybe that made up some for the way their grandparents have acted.