Does reportedly pregnant wife make Weiner’s photo worse?

I have avoided discussing New York Rep. Anthony Weiner explicit photo and message scandal but there is a new twist to the story that caught my eye. The New York Times and other media companies are reporting that Rep. Weiner’s wife, who works for the state department, is pregnant.

From Yahoo News:

“Huma Abedin, 35, an aide to Secretary of State Hillary Clinton who married the congressman a year ago, is in the early stages of pregnancy with the couple’s first child, the New York Times reported, citing three unnamed people with knowledge of the situation.”

From AP:

“Weiner, 46, has admitted sending explicit photos and messages via the Internet to about a half-dozen women over the past three years. He vowed at a news conference on Monday to remain in office, and one lawmaker who spoke to him on Wednesday said Weiner indicated he still hopes to ride out the furor and remain in Congress. That lawmaker spoke on condition of anonymity, saying it was a private conversation.”

“But the appearance of a photo of a man’s genitals added yet another aspect to what appears to be a sex scandal without actual sex in the age of social media. According to conservative blogger Andrew Breitbart, Weiner sent the picture of himself to one of the women with whom he corresponded online.”

“The Associated Press has not been able to independently confirm that the photo is of Weiner. On Wednesday, spokeswoman Risa B. Heller noted in a statement that Weiner had said at a news conference on Monday that he “has sent explicit photos. To reiterate, he has never met any of these women or had physical contact with them.”

So my questions are these:

Does it make it worse that his wife is reportedly pregnant or that doesn’t really change things?

Do you think it’s cheating if he he’s never touched or met the women he sent the messages to?

Are sending sexy photos, texts, comments or tweets deal breakers in a marriage? Would you walk out? What if you were pregnant?

– Theresa Walsh Giarrusso, ajc.com Momania. Follow me on Twitter and read what I am reading each day. Great stories on family health, family fun, parenting,  fashion, stars, and more. Click on the right-hand column to check out links to stories that will interest you. )

20 comments Add your comment

shaggy

June 9th, 2011
6:56 am

Weiner’s biggest lie has nothing to do with his relationship with his wife. That is personal between him and his wife. His denials and the ‘gator tears (he was only sorry that he got caught.)shed for the public go way beyond that. He demonstrated his integrity, or rather, the lack of it. Just like practically all of our corrupt politicos, he lies to keep power over YOU, and that is ALL that they want…to get re-elected and keep power over YOU. I say tar and feather him him for that alone, before riding him out of town on a rail.
His wife probably knows that he is a selfish jerk and married him to have a power marriage. Heck, she was probably counting on him to get caught..marry a NY congressman, get the Hillary stepping stone job, and launch HER career – OH YEAH!

motherjanegoose

June 9th, 2011
7:52 am

Sad.

@shaggy…this is what I have been seeing more and more …integrity is vanishing. People **feel bad** only if they get caught. Why do they deny until it is beyond obvious? No one else matters.

Does this man have an ego or what? Yes, there are many who are power hungry and make promises they cannot keep…no big news here.

On your second paragraph: that power play is between two adults but a mess when a child is created. Who will explain this to the child?

JJ

June 9th, 2011
8:05 am

I’d leave in a heart beat!!! I will NOT allow that type of behavior in my relationships, nor will I be treated that way. Nope, No way. I don’t care WHO he is.

If you can’t be faithful to your spouse, the person you CHOSE to spend the rest of your life with, what does that say about your character, what kind of a person does that make you? A liar and a cheat.

My ex cheated on me. I’ve been in those shoes, and I will NEVER wear them again!!!!

catlady

June 9th, 2011
9:00 am

I might add, JJ, that I think there are many ways to cheat beyond sexually. Not devoting yourself to the marriage is one (putting me ahead of us.

Of course he thinks he can ride this out. He has many role models to choose from!

Jeff

June 9th, 2011
9:07 am

How is it possible for him to be an even bigger a**? The guy is a slime ball, and I know she already knew it. How could she NOT know?

Men like this guy make it more difficult to be a man because we sometimes get painted with the same brush. And I’m guilty of painting with the same brush occasionally when a woman acts foolishly.

fred

June 9th, 2011
9:30 am

I think I may have made too many weiner jokes, my comment got stuck, Gist of it was, does anybody really think that “junk” shots are attractive at all? I just don’t get it?

Ann

June 9th, 2011
9:35 am

@ shaggy – I agree with your comments about politicians wanting to retain their power. His wife, though, did not launch her career by marrying a congressman. She has worked for Hillary as far back as 1996.

Regarding the point about him not ever meeting these women in person, I know of 3 other marriages that broke up due to relationships that began online. They eventually all led to “in-person” meetups. While some might stick with only online chatter, for many, it will escalate one day to a physical relationship.

Denise

June 9th, 2011
9:50 am

@Fred – I’m with you. NOT attractive. NOT “motivating” either. Shots like that don’t make me want to know more, if you catch my meaning. :-)

And no, it doesn’t make it worse that she’s pregnant. Wives get pregnant by their husbands, regardless of who and how they are. She just happens to have a husband that got caught with his pants down, literally, in the public eye. Doesn’t grant her more sympathy than “Mrs. Jones” down the street whose garbageman husband just got caught cheating one street over. Pregnant or not, she has to make the same decision Mrs. Jones would have to make…stay or leave. Unfortunately for her, her decision will be discussed in the public eye. Worse for her child, people will be whispering over his/her head that he/she was born in the middle of a scandal and his/her mama did xyz because his/her daddy did xyz.

Yes, online chatter can lead to in-person meetings. That’s the whole point of online dating. Nothing done online is “innocent”. The intent is there as soon as the thought forms in your mind. The only question is “when” it will happen.

JOD

June 9th, 2011
9:51 am

@Ann – Good point, but IMHO even if they never meet, online ‘friends’ are still cheating. It’s basically sharing yourself with someone else and cutting out your spouse. As the partner who had to stop a ‘work romance’ (for those who aren’t familiar, it’s a ‘friendship’ at work that isn’t romantic but still crosses the line), it doesn’t matter whether they meet, whether they hook up, or whether they just chat. There’s a line that is crossed.

On to Weiner – his ego would be shocking if it weren’t so commonplace with our elected officials. There’s no reason for him to be surprised he got caught unless he honestly believed that his status would protect him.

@TWG – Does her pregnancy make what he did worse, no. Does it further demonstrate what a narcissistic cad he is, absolutely. I only hope that she really didn’t know about his dalliances before they got married and she got pregnant, as that would be really sad.

iRun

June 9th, 2011
10:11 am

Inline with Ann’s comments, I believe she MET Weiner in the course of her job as Hillary Clinton’s LONG TIME assistant. So, she didn’t need a power marriage…she’s in a power place already, has the ear and confidence of the Head of State Dept…

they never leave

June 9th, 2011
10:15 am

She won’t leave him – it is really costly to try to get alimony and child support, but staying could result in a tell-all book, a Lifetime Movie option for her story, and some payouts from “news media” like GMA or TMZ. Not a comment on her really, because if you have already suffered the indignation of having your husband and father of your child publicly revealed to be a perv with a middle school sensibility, then you SHOULD get compensated for it. The compensation will be bigger if she stays than if she goes.

iRun

June 9th, 2011
10:24 am

To answer the questions:

Does it make it worse that his wife is reportedly pregnant or that doesn’t really change things?
—————————————————————————————————————————————-
It depends on what you mean? I’m taking it as – should it change HER mind about leaving him? It’s not like this is a developing country where all marriages are completely transactional and are essentially the only way a woman can survive…her only career choice, if you will. And his wife, in particular, has a pretty strong career going. While this IS sad for their child should she choose to leave him and thereby separate the child from the father (though not really, just not living together)…taken in context, I wouldn’t want my child to be raised to think one spouse should tolerate the indiscretions of the other. It shows a marked disrespect for marriage and partnership and that’s not a lesson I’d want to pass on.

Do you think it’s cheating if he he’s never touched or met the women he sent the messages to?
——————————————————————————————————————————————
It’s cheating if they agreed not to have sex outside of their marriage. He’s cheating if he’s doing anything outside of the arrangements of their particular partnership. And, yes, sexting, etc, is sex. Sex is not just a penis penetrating a vagina. And if your filter blocks penis and/or vagina I’ll be amused that human anatomical names are subject to censorship.

Are sending sexy photos, texts, comments or tweets deal breakers in a marriage? Would you walk out? What if you were pregnant?
————————————————————————————————————————————————
They would be for me. My husband and I have a strict sense of fidelity and in 14 years I know I haven’t broken it and I am confident he hasn’t either. He’s known since the beginning that I would walk away, doesn’t matter the situation. I’m not pregnant, not going to GET pregnant, but we do have a 10-year old son. I’m pretty sure it’s MORE stressful and severe to damage the marriage when children are 10 than when they are fetuses.

Tad Jackson

June 9th, 2011
11:02 am

The creep and creepiness factor of this thing is off the charts. Hell, yes, there’s a book in it … for both of them.

http://www.adixiediary.com

Ann

June 9th, 2011
11:05 am

@ JOD – I agree with you that online friends can be cheating. My comment about online relationships often leading to meeting in person was not to imply that online was not cheating, as this type of sexual communication is certainly cheating, in my opinion. My point was that he should not use the “online only” part as some sort of bogus defense now, as it typically leads to more contact anyway.

I do, however, think that spouses can have friends of the opposite sex, in person or online, that is not cheating. My spouse and I both connect online occasionally with old friends from elementary school, high school, and college; and my husband networks and connects with former co-workers in case he becomes unemployed at some point. I think that most people would know when they cross the line from purely platonic friends or networking to more frequent communication or intensive emotional connection. Whether this online communication is cheating or not depends on the “motivation” of the person connecting and why they are doing it. Contacting an old classmate could mean the person is looking for other romantic options or it could simply be reminiscing about shared memories of school or other childhood experiences. It is the intent and purpose of the activity that determines whether the line is crossed with verbal or written communication.

JOD

June 9th, 2011
12:27 pm

@Ann – Agree 100%. Some people, however, seem to be lulled across that line. It seems to be to be a pretty bright line, but based on conversations with others, they had to have an ‘uh-oh’ moment before they realized they had gone too far…

JOD

June 9th, 2011
12:28 pm

Sorry – ‘to me to be’…

Julia

June 9th, 2011
12:34 pm

his rear end would be OUT THE DOOR!

Dreamer

June 9th, 2011
1:28 pm

Does it make it worse that his wife is reportedly pregnant or that doesn’t really change things?
I don’t think it’s worse since his wife is pregnant.

Do you think it’s cheating if he’s never touched or met the women he sent the messages to?
I’m not sure that I would say it’s cheating BUT….it’s def. a break of trust in their relationship.
Is it cheating to look at porn? Or do internet chat? Or have office ’spouses’?
What defines cheating? It used to be the act of sex but now technology may change it.

Are sending sexy photos, texts, comments or tweets deal breakers in a marriage? Would you walk out? What if you were pregnant?
What is acceptable in a marriage is up to the people who are IN the marriage only.
Dealbreaker? depends on how much I loved my spouse and what type of relationship we had along with several other factors (age, health, money, stability, etc) if I would be willing to work it out.

It’s impossible to know if I would walk out, even if I was pregnant without being in their exact situation. I think you would need to be in their EXACT same circumstance to know what you would do.
It’s easy to say ‘leave him’ or whatever but unless you are IN the same EXACT situation, it’s hard to know.

I would have better thoughts about him if he was honest to begin with. If he could not be honest to begin with, he should have stuck to his original story–even though lots of folks thought he was lying. (me included)

We all make mistakes, but he should have been honest in the beginning.
Ultimately, what people IN the relationship accept or not, is between them only.
Their relationship and issues have zero bearing on my life.
I wish them well–whatever their decision is going to be.

DB

June 10th, 2011
3:12 am

I think the biggest issue here is trust. As a wife, could I ever trust my husband again after discovering that he had been engaging in this kind of behavior behind my back for years? Probably not. And without trust, as far as I’m concerned, there’s no intimacy. Without intimacy — there’s no marriage. Ergo — no trust, no marriage. At least, not for me. I could not be married to someone I could not trust. Life is too short.

Why am I not surprised that Bill Clinton officiated at the Weiner’s wedding last year? Hmm . . . He joked at the wedding, referring to Weiner, that “its easy to distrust them (politicians)” — she should have listened more closely, considering the source!

@Ann and JOD: My definition of cheating: If you wouldn’t say it with your husband/wife looking over your shoulder — you’re probably crossing the line.

Wayne

June 10th, 2011
9:17 am

I was watching some TV show where this guy was married in real life, and married in an online game. He spent hours a day online with his ‘wife’ and his RL wife was okay with it.

Me, not so much. Just to strange for me…