The other day a friend was telling me about her friend that quit her high-paying marketing job because she absolutely refused to pay her lazy husband alimony after finally kicking him out of the house.
Then last night I ran across this story on The Huffington Post examining if it’s fair for women who make more money not to pay alimony or manimony as they are dubbing it? Why should it be any different than when a man makes more and divorces?
“There really are two valid sides to this argument. If you think about it, men have been paying spousal support for years to their ex-wives who are staying home to raise the kids. Many of these stay-at-home moms have argued they gave up a career to raise a family and are entitled to compensation for that sacrifice.”
“After all, the goal of spousal maintenance is to financially support someone who cannot support himself or herself after the marriage ends. So does it really matter if that someone is a man or woman?”
“Women argue even if they are the CEO of their own company, for example, they are still often the CEO of the house as well. The school calls them when the kids are sick. These moms still take the kids to the dentist, doctor and extracurricular activities and often wake up in the middle of the night when the child is sick. These high-powered female executives argue because they are moms, by definition, the bulk of the care seems to rest on their shoulders. They’re doing double-duty, so to speak, and don’t want to send a check to their ex every month because they don’t believe he bares the brunt of the single parent job.”
We had another friend who supported her husband through multiple attempts at grad school to find himself and she when she finally decided to divorce him she went ballistic at the idea that she would keep supporting him. I think she got out of it but I can’t remember how she did it. (This was like 10 years ago. I think he finally decided on a career once she stopped paying all the bills and he started making money.)
Does it feel different for a woman to want and expect alimony after a divorce versus a man expecting it?
Do you make more than your husband? Would you pay him alimony if you divorced? Would you be OK with paying manimony if your husband had quit his job years before to be the main caregiver of the kids? Does that change the situation?
– Theresa Walsh Giarrusso, ajc.com Momania. I have increased my Twitter activity. I am sending out great stories for moms each day focusing on health, fitness, sex, entertainment, food, travel and obviously parenting! So follow me on Twitter at @AJCMOMania!)