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Momania: A Blog for Busy Moms

What was your economic cost of motherhood?

12:53 am May 16, 2011, by Theresa Walsh Giarrusso

Harvard University’s David Elwood, Columbia University’s Elizabeth Ty Wilde, and New York University’s Lily Batchelder wanted to determine if there is an economic cost to women having kids and if so, was it affected by their education level and age.

The results depended on the woman’s skill level. Low-skilled women weren’t getting very many raises so they didn’t tend to lose out there, but for high-skilled women, who were getting raises, the raises pretty much stopped after having kids.

The high-skilled women could help curtail some of the effects of having kids on their incomes by waiting longer to have kids.

More results via the article on Shine:

  • “Low-skilled women don’t get very big raises, and having kids does little to change that.The so-called wage trajectories (think of a line graph showing a worker’s wages growing over time) of low-skilled women are much flatter than those of high-skilled women. Having children didn’t change those trajectories very much.
  • For high-skilled women, kids spell the end of raises. High-skilled women have steep wage trajectories. Those trajectories flatten out almost precisely at the moment they have children.
  • Low-skilled women don’t seem to make their lost wages back. Ten years after having children, low-skilled women have wages that are six percent lower than their counterparts.
  • High-skilled women don’t make that money back, either. Ten years after having children, high-skilled women have wages that are 24 percent lower than their counterparts.
  • Becoming a parent seems to have no effect on men’s wages. “

So what do you think of this study? Do you agree with the results? If high-skilled did your raises end after you had kids? If high-skilled do you think you make as much as women counterparts who didn’t have kids?

If low-skilled do you think you’ve kept up with counterparts pay?

What do you think of their point that a man’s income is not affected at all by having kids?

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44 comments Add your comment

catlady

May 16th, 2011
7:24 am

And what about the long-term costs, if the interpretation of the data is correct, on women’s retirement, for example?

I am highly skilled and did not take off any time when my children were born (measured in weeks and days). Having children did disproportionately affect me when they were sick–I lost pay for being out with them. However, I expected that going in.

My economic loss has been due to the legislature, not so much due to family decisions.

MomOf2Girls

May 16th, 2011
7:47 am

Having children didn’t affect my raises at all, nor does it impact my decisions when I am determining raises for my employees. Perhaps this has to do with performance of your job before and after children?

JJ

May 16th, 2011
8:25 am

Having a child and being a single mom affected my promotions and raises here at work. The single, childless woman in my office makes about $20K more than I do. She’s able to work late, and travel. I wasn’t.

But I’m happy with what I have. I have been here 19+ years, and I have great benefits. They have always been good to me when I’ve had to take off with my child. And NO, it didn’t cause more work for someone else when I was out. I’m in a very small office, and if I’m not in, my work will wait till I get back.

I love my job, and I’m very grateful to my employer!!!!

Lori

May 16th, 2011
8:44 am

I wonder if this study took into account the personal choices of the women. Having kids definitely affected my income, but it was all a personal choice. I used to be an engineer, but I had to work long hours, travel, etc. I now work in an admin role making half as much money. But, my job is only 2 miles from my home, so I can be there for my kids, for soccer practice, etc. Also, because of my close proximity, doc visits and such are easier for me, without missing too much work. If my kids are sick, I don’t hesitate to take off work and get them. I’d rather be a good mom than a rich mom!!

Gtmom

May 16th, 2011
8:46 am

Of course having children affected my raises and promotions.. it would have been bad business if it didn’t. My priorities have shifted away from the company to being with my children. I do my best to get time off away from work to be with the kids. I leave at 4:30 pm everyday when I used to stay til 7 pm. I won’t stay late and nor go the extra mile anymore… I can’t. I have to pick up my kids by a certain time every day. I am just happy that there are others willing to go the extra mile for me these days and I don’t fault them for their pay raises. I made my choice.

Gtmom

May 16th, 2011
8:49 am

Lori.. how hard is it to move from Engineer to Admin. I think I would like that. I still have a hard time getting off work when I need to. I think I would like to move to part time to make life a lot easier for our family.

mom2alex&max

May 16th, 2011
8:50 am

Lori: you make an excellent point, but it makes me wonder. Why couldn’t you be an engineer and STILL have some personal flexibility on your job? And I don’t mean you personally, but you in general.

Yes we have choices. But why should we choose. Why can’t we be successful parents AND successful career people? Why do jobs force everyone to choose between moving up the ladder and spending time with your children? Why is it that working insane hours is absolutely necessary to move up?

And don’t give me that crap about everyone else picking up slack. I’m sick of hearing it. When I was in corporate and took some time off NO ONE picked up my slack. It was either waiting for me when I got back or it was sent to me via e-mail or phone calls to get done.

motherjanegoose

May 16th, 2011
8:52 am

No time to read everything now…sorry.

I have had a job since I was 16. I did work part time most of the time when the kids were small…so
yes….my pay was affected. Now, my business is up to me. The economy is affecting it more than Motherhood. Budgets are limited and things tend to be last minute or even sometimes cancelled. I love what I do, so I will tough it out. The folks I do work with are typically thrilled with the contribution.

That being said, I would never trade being a Mother for a hefty paycheck nor a lofty title. Most days, my kids enrich my life beyond measure :). Off to the kids!

DB

May 16th, 2011
8:57 am

I think that if a woman is trying to decide whether or not to have a child based on the number of raises she may or may not receive in the future, she shouldn’t bother.

Studies like this irritate me — they seem to blame children because their mom isn’t “producing” in an economic sense. This society places so very little value on the nurturing of children and motherhood – relegating it to day cares staffed by minimum-wage workers so that women can get out and do “real” jobs. And what’s the point? Is someone’s worth to society measured solely by their paycheck?

Techmom

May 16th, 2011
9:02 am

While I think there are exceptions, I do think motherhood greatly affects career opportunities and raises. I look at the senior management in my company, which is rather diverse, and the women who are in senior management roles either don’t have kids or didn’t come to the company until after their children were grown. I already had a child when started but I think due to my decision to put my family above my career, I have been limited in my choice of assignments and therefore my ability to stand out. I don’t think my employer is to blame b/c I’m not willing to make my career my top priority but I do hope that once I am at the point where I can devote more time and energy to my career that it does pay off.

JOD

May 16th, 2011
9:21 am

I know my entire perspective changed when DD was born. Some things that were once important (like becoming a VP or other executive someday) went straight out the window. Like JJ, I have a wonderful employer: I work from home, have great benefits, and tons of flexibility. That being said, there are tradeoffs – I work super hard and go above-and-beyond on projects. That’s my choice and I’ll continue to make those choices as DD gets older – I don’t see it as all or nothing.

Does motherhood impact career opportunities? Maybe – it depends on the boss/emplyer. Does motherhood impact career choices? Absolutely.

Cammi317

May 16th, 2011
9:26 am

Of course it affects us. That being said, I am happy with my choice. I work as the office manager and lead paralegal in a small law office and capped out on salary 4 years ago. I left a bigger office when my daughter was 1 because I felt like I was dropping her off at daycare and picking her up in the dark. On the weekends, I was too tired to enjoy being a mother. I could go back to a bigger firm, but then I would not have the flexibility that I have now. When I am out, I do what I can from home and the rest is waiting for me when I get back. No one else is doing it for me. I have driven my daughter to and picked her up from school almost every day of her life. I have gone to every award show, game, field day, school performance and dance performance. I was assisant troop manager and cookie mom when she was in girl scouts, team mom when she played soccer, I volunteer consistently at her dance school as well as regular school. As a single parent, I could not do any of those things if I were working 60-70 hour weeks. Yes, the extra money would go a long way, but I choose the extra time with my child, without regret.

Jeff

May 16th, 2011
9:33 am

It’s the cost of motherhood, period. What are the economic costs of men who have to pay child support and alimony and are forced to live in an apartment while the ex gets the house, cars, half of the 401k. There are costs associated for all of us when we have children. I wouldn’t trade mine for the world, but my life would certainly be different and better financially if I never had a child.

TinaTeach

May 16th, 2011
9:51 am

It is a cost you pay and in our situation it is switched. I am a teacher so it has had very little effect on my pay (the state does that!) and I have sick leave built up so that when the little one is ill I can take care of him without losing pay.

My husband on the other hand took a lower paying job at a small, family friendly Atlanta law firm vs some huge firm like King and Spaulding so he could spend time with our kid (soon to be kids). He laments sometimes about having the lower paying job but he forgets about it the moment he gets home and sees his beautiful little boy. We are always tight for money but I’d rather be tight for money and have him around then have plenty and never see him. I’ve told him and my mother-in-law (who thinks he should be working more to make more) that he is not just a pay check and I want him around!

Chas Foster Kane

May 16th, 2011
9:58 am

Cows are going to ‘low’ no matter the status of the pasture.

Glad to be at home

May 16th, 2011
10:12 am

I left teaching last school year to stay at home with my son. My husband and I lost my income, which we planned for, but this has enabled him to pursue his career and earn raises that more than cover my teaching income.

Life is all about choices. When you have children, you make choices and of course things are going to be different.. I have to agree with DB, our society places so little value on raising our children and being good parents. Having had a child in daycare who is not at home with me. I see the huge difference in him. Daycares can’t raise our children. No matter how “good” one is they are not the child’s mom and dad. We need to put more of an emphasis on the value of raising a productive member of our society. Money is not everything. I’d rather be poor and have raised a child who I can be proud of, than be rich and have a child full of problems.

Lori

May 16th, 2011
10:28 am

My move from Engineer to Admin was also to reduce stress in my life. I was working in a fast paced, competitive job that was an “old boy’s club” and it just wasn’t working for me anymore. Also, the engineering jobs are not really located in the “burbs”. I didn’t want to have to commute a long way and be far from my kids. I like being around when they need me. I’m paid hourly now, instead of salary, so I’m expected to leave everyday at 5, rather than before I was expected to put in those extra hours.

Gtmom, (I assume you went to GA Tech, me too!!!). It really wasn’t that hard to move. I stared by going to a temp agency to get some admin experience. It wasn’t glamorous, I started as a temp receptionist, then moved on from there. The admin role I’m in now is interesting (it’s an internal audit type role) because I still get to use some of my technical background, not just pushing paper or answering phones.

Amy in the ATL

May 16th, 2011
10:31 am

The issue really shouldn’t be about absolute pay or position, but quality of life and the ability of families to make decisions on what works best for them. I am a well-compensated professional, but I do realize that my career ladder has been somewhat delayed by the fact that I don’t hang out at the office after 5 because I want to spend some quality afternoon time with my husband and my girls. Not that I don’t actually produce as much high-quality work as some of my childless coworkers or those who have stay at home wives and work late hours, but I definitely miss out on some networking opportunities, and that can be critical in today’s workplace.

So in some ways I have made my own choice, although I do wish the workforce was a bit more flexible for working parents who want to be good at both of their jobs.

As far as Glad to be at Home’s comments on daycare, my experience was excellent, although I will say I do wish I could have been at home until the girls were a year old and then enrolled them. But past the age of one, my kids absolutely thrived in a high quality daycare setting and learned key social skills like taking turns, waiting in line, conflict resolution, following instructions, and even potty training at an early age. Not that kids who are at home don’t get that, but a shocking number do not, especially if they aren’t in preschool a few hours a week. You can really see those social differences in pre-k and kindergarten. Just because you stay at home doesn’t mean you are providing a high quality environment for your child—just like daycares, some situations are better than others. This isn’t directed at anyone in particular, of course……

the watch dog

May 16th, 2011
10:44 am

Thats the breaks, having kids, what would you want an employer to do,give the new momma a raise because she is having a family, hey, this isnt welfare where more kids, more mon. This is the real world.
The world is bulging at the seams with new babies, hardly need an incentive to have them.
Sooooooo much for that, my personal trainer is coming for another glorius session.

45 y/ old mom

May 16th, 2011
10:45 am

Interesting … I stopped my profession career when I had children over 15 years ago. One factor was my husband could make the most money for the family, and knowing even back then my career would take some puches, I decided to take over a decade off to raise my family.

Decided to go back to work last year, which I thought would be bad timing due to the jobless rate and economy. I had job offers galore and more pay than I thought I’d get for being out of the work force for over 15 years. Seems my absense affected me some, but not nearly as much as I had thought. Never thought a SAHM with well over a decades absence would be a hot commodity.

Art Thomas

May 16th, 2011
10:48 am

I applaud all women who have worked in careers. My Mom died at 42 when I was 13 but was a Career Army officer and RN who served in WW2 and Korea in the Mash units. Her favorite show was MASH. This was her career which came to end tragically in 1970 due to cancer.

Since women now constitute 51% of all college students, hold a majority of jobs in the USA and have not been displaced like 4 million men in the depression that now impacts America, attitudes must change. Compensation acutally exceeds men in several professions such as doctors and higher up advertising and legal jobs . Women in lower level manager and education positions command = pay and have taken on the characteristics of men in their managerial trends. (know it all domineering and rude as some of the negative traits I have experienced in reporting to and or working with females in a variety of industries. )

Since running my own business part time I have taken advantage of this trend and sell 95% to women and use subliminal sexual sales techniques to achieve both their domininatrix goals of treating men as sexual objects (you are soo good looking honey to me ) and my sales goals !!

See all of you great business women when you hand out the big bucks to me!!!

YUKI

May 16th, 2011
10:51 am

I agree with Amy regarding daycare. Nobody is asking them to “raise” our children. My child goes to preschool full time and is a happy, healthy child. They do art every day, are learning to get along with others, and are learning so much every day it amazes me. Her point is right on about just because you stay home with your child doesn’t mean they are better off. I spend every evening (starting at 5 sharp) and all weekend long with my son. I not ready to lose my mind by the end of the day needing “mommy time” like a lot of SAH moms I know. I value and cherish every minute with my child and am happy to say I’m contributing to his future by saving for college. Because of my additional income, we will be able to provide him with opportunities, travel, and the schooling that we want to.

I’m lucky as well to work for a company who is flexible and understanding about families and their time together. I’ve known since I was in high school that I was going to have a career and not be just a “mommy”. I am both and it works for us. Could I do more in my career without children? Of course….I would have a lot more time to put in, but I would not have it any other way. I have the best of both worlds.

motherhood

May 16th, 2011
10:51 am

I don’t think having kids have any impact on wages/salary or raises. I am in IT field(programmer), took 6 weeks of maternity leave for both my kids. Having kids did not have affect on my raises. When they are sick, one of us (my husband or I) will take time off, but that doesn’t hurt the raises.
All the places that I worked at, your salary or raises has to do with how well you do, or level of education or years of experience, but not if you have kids. I don’t agree with this theory.
On a separate I would like companies to consider giving extra sick hours to employees with kids or employees who are taking care of their elderly parents.

diva

May 16th, 2011
11:05 am

Lori and motherhood – I agree with you. It would definitely be a big help the sick hours. I am a single mom and an administrative assistant. I support 5 people….I am considering switching to something other than my present role.

Cobb Woman of Color

May 16th, 2011
11:25 am

@Techmom, 9:02 a.m. post, I see the same situation at my workplace. Most of the women in upper management are single. If they are married, they don’t have any children or they have stepchildren (married later in life after their childbearing years).

It depends on where you work...

May 16th, 2011
11:28 am

…I have a good friend from high school (head cheerleader and all-everything looks wise) who, after graduating from GA State, started out teaching math in Dekalb County back in 1976 – she went to GT at night to get her MS in Applied Statistics, and when she completed that degree she went to work for Southern Bell – she had no kids at that time and she, being extremely bright, moved up the corporate ladder quite rapidly. Eventually she divorced her first husband (her high school sweetheart) and then remarried.

With her second husband she had her only child back in about 1984-85-86 – anyway, she continued to move up the ladder at BellSouth, where she eventually moved into an Executive position in Charlotte, NC, and was finally named PREDIDENT of BelllSouth / North Carolina, where she stayed until forced out with a multi-million dollar buyout when AT&T took over BellSouth and other “baby bells” a few years ago. She is now a Dean at Queens College in Charlotte, as she could not stand staying home after a successful career.

She did OK, WITH child…so it is not always a detriment to be a mom in the corporate world (though I am not sure whether her husband was a stay at home dad… – if he was, my point is moot!)

Hey, motherhood...

May 16th, 2011
11:31 am

…extra time off to care for sick kids or elderly parents already exists – it is called The Family Leave Act”, where you get time off, without pay, for just such situations. Your employer cannot fire you for taking this time…

Hey, 45 yr/ old mom...

May 16th, 2011
11:36 am

…my wife worked for 33 years and took an early retirement at age 55, after helping raise our kids despite being employed fulltime. She recently decided to go back to work after only a two year layoff – she is an IT professional with all sorts of professional designations that are up to date. While she has had several companies be impressed with her credentials ON PAPER, when she has interviewed she has not landed anything close to a job offer, mostly, she thinks, due to the bias in that field of not wanting “old” employees, even though she is qualified for the jobs.

So, not everyone over the age of 45 is a”hot comodity”, but, good for you for still being “hot”…

Warrior Woman

May 16th, 2011
11:50 am

I think whether motherhood hurts pay and raises is very company-specific. I have received larger raises since having children, but I work for a company that is committed to a diverse workplace and values skills more than face time. Although I sometimes come in late or leave early to be with my children, I also work at home at nights if necessary to get the job done.

Business owner

May 16th, 2011
12:01 pm

I started my own business to avoid the “Mom/Career choice” dilemma. I am able to work at home, watch my daughter grow AND I make more money while establishing an excellent reputation that will stand me in good stead when she is at school. While I appreciate the discussion about the career-family decision (and think it is an important discussion to have), I do wish people would give women more encouragement to set our own career course rather than letting others set it for us.

Mary

May 16th, 2011
12:19 pm

When a woman with children wants to climb the corporate ladder, the family suffers, the children suffer.

When a man with children wants to climb the corporate ladder, the family is just fine, usually because the woman steps in, takes care of the children, the house, the bills, etc. The man can climb and climb and he has major support at home.

Men very rarely have to balance work/family life…..

You never hear men complain about balancing family and work.

Wow, Mary...

May 16th, 2011
1:02 pm

…not too bitter are you? In fact, some of us HAVE in fact balanceed home and work, we just don’t beotch about and offer broad (pardon the pun) generalizations or excuses – please don’t be so judgmental, it is not very feminine…

Theresa Walsh Giarrusso

May 16th, 2011
1:17 pm

2nd blog up — the little girl whose mom gave her Botox was taken away by authorities

http://blogs.ajc.com/momania/2011/05/16/update-daughter-taken-away-from-botox-mom/

Gtmom

May 16th, 2011
1:40 pm

I agree with Warrior Woman.. It probably is company specific. At my company, it is important that I am there everyday even when I am low on work. So it isn’t very flexible in that regard.

I have moved up pretty fast in my company even after having children but that is because my husband’s company hasn’t done so well in the past 5 years. I am the breadwinner. But, I will say he is great with balancing work and home. Much better than I am. I can’t wait until his company is doing well again. I hope to move out of my role! I want to be at home!

mom2alex&max

May 16th, 2011
2:02 pm

Mary: that is simply NOT true. My husband as the main bread winner in our family has missed MANY an event because he has to work. He has missed school events, sports events, and scouts events. And my children DID miss him!

He does what he has to do. I say ALL the time that what I want it not balance of work and family for women. I want balance of work and family for EVERYONE.

abc

May 16th, 2011
3:42 pm

Men are expected to balance work with more work, maximize the income, period, and then bear the grief of their adult children’s complaints that they were so often not there for them while they were growing up. I’m not saying it’s not a valid complaint on behalf of the kids; and I submit that the Dads would far prefer to be able make the ballgames, recitals, etc. Dads miss out on a lot, to the detriment of them and their kids, and everyone feels the loss.

To imply that men don’t care about work-life balance speaks of a person’s misandry, not of men’s supposed preference for business over family participation.

madmommy

May 16th, 2011
6:02 pm

I worked like a dog before my daughter came along and after she came along. Moved up the ladder quickly only to have the rug pulled out from under me. Now I am a SAHM and am busier than I have ever been when working full time. I am grateful to have this time at home with my child and really feel as if I was cheated out of a lot of mommy joy because I thought I could do it all.
Returning to work will be bitter sweet since I enjoy being room mom and doing more with the school and church, but I’m sure I will adjust.
Pay is affected when you have children and when you have small children and say “no” to certain projects/ extra time in the office they start to question your committment and drive to your job. Stinks, but is the way things go.

Most men wish they could balance more life-work, but don’t want to get left in the dust by everyone else.

What was your economic cost of motherhood? | Momania: A Blog for … | ivunykoto

May 16th, 2011
8:24 pm

[...] Source: http://blogs.ajc.com/momania/2011/05/16/what-was-your-economic-cost-of-motherhood/?cxntfid=blogs_mom... [...]

motherhood

May 17th, 2011
10:54 am

@Hey, motherhood…
I think most of us are aware of FMLA, I was talking about sick time with pay. For instance, if a company gives an 8 hours a month for sick to regular employees, employees with kids, or employees who are taking care of elderly parents should get a little extra time than just 8 hours. If you have kids, your 8 hours is divided between your sickness and your
kids’s sickness or taking care of elderly parents.

HB

May 17th, 2011
12:55 pm

Motherhood, you’ve got to be kidding! I’m all for allowing employees to use sick time to care for sick family members, but to give extra potential sick hours to people with children and/or parents in case they get sick is just silly. Heck, an argument could be made that parents already get extra because they typically use more sick days (companies aren’t paying for nonproductive days when sick time isn’t taken). You are allowed more excuses for calling in sick than someone without dependents, so you likely already are taking more paid leave than someone without kids.

kat

May 17th, 2011
7:15 pm

WTF – eight hours a month of sick time? What kind of company expects employees to need a day of sick time EVERY MONTH?

HB

May 18th, 2011
12:00 am

8 per month is pretty standard, kat. 4 hours per two-week pay period for a total of 13 8-hour days per year.

kat

May 18th, 2011
3:31 pm

13 sick days per year – my family and friends work in a wide variety of (white-collar) professions and no one gets 13 sick days per year. While I’d love it as vacation, if I was actually sick one day per month, I would definitely think I had something seriously wrong with me and be seeing a doctor about this chronic illness. My company (in the AEC field, won’t go into any more detail) and the one I worked at previously start you at three weeks (15 days) vacation/sick time per year. After five years, you get another week (five days). All the ones I know of that split vacation and sick time into separate pots start at ten days vacation, five days sick, per year, and go up from there.

That said, most AEC firms are fine with flexible schedules as long as you can accommodate clients (for example, 6 hours in the office and another couple hours after the kids are asleep) or reduced hours (with concomitant reduced pay – plenty of people work 32 or 36 or whatever, so basically unpaid time off, as suggested above) for men or women, for any reason, kids or not.

HB

May 18th, 2011
4:28 pm

Every office job I’ve worked has started employees out at 4 hours of sick time per pay period and 4 vacation hours (I’ve worked in government, private for-profit, and private non-profit companies/orgs in cities up and down the east coast — trust me, it’s not an unusual accrual rate). Over time, vacation accrual rate increases and sick stays the same. You’re not expected to get sick one day each month (or take a vacation day each month for that matter), that is just the rate of accrual. Sick time can typically be used to care for sick family members as well, so if all are used, it may not be because the employee himself was sick that many days.