Dibs: Should girls claim prom dresses on Facebook?

We all know it’s no fun to show up to a party wearing the same dress as someone else, but is it right for a girl to call dibs on a prom dress?

A new Facebook page allows teens to do just that!

Here’s how it works according to the Associated Press:

“A fashion advice website, Fashism.com, has even launched a Facebook-based registry called “Got Dibs” that allows users to track who’s wearing what to which high school event, and get feedback on their outfit before they wear it.”

“Amy Avitable, senior vice president of marketing for Lord & Taylor, which is partnering with Fashism.com on Got Dibs, says the project is a way to give girls an insurance policy that they’ll have something special, while making sure they won’t be second-guessing their outfit at the last minute.”

“Here’s how Got Dibs works: Girls can snap photos of themselves with the tags still on the dress and get instant advice on what shoes to wear, if the hemline is right or if the silhouette is flattering.”

“The opinions of peers, whether they are best friends or online “friends” from around the country, are key to the tech-savvy, fashion-loving consumer, says Ashley Granata, Fashism.com’s co-founder and chief marketing officer.”

“But for prom-goers, it’s the claim on a dress that matters most, she adds.”…

“Staking an early claim on a dress may help girls breathe easier. And then it’s the girl who doesn’t follow these new etiquette rules who risks rebuke, says Jane Keltner de Valle, fashion news director of Teen Vogue.”

“Of course, she adds, it shouldn’t be that way: Girls should be celebrating who they are at the prom and not make it all about “the dress,” but, for better or worse, that is part of the tradition.”

For some reason I am not finding this clever. I’m finding it annoying.

What if your daughter really wanted to wear a dress, would you really respect the Dibs Facebook page and not wear it? What if you had it and didn’t post it? What if you didn’t know about the page? What if you don’t care if you wear the same dress? What if you can wear the dress better?

Also doesn’t everyone seeing your dress kind of ruin your big moment walking into the room?

So what do you think? Should girls be able to call dibs on dresses? Would you respect the dibs? Does it ruin the surprise for everyone of seeing you in your dress? Is this an efficient way to keep from wearing the same thing or mean girls in action on the Internet?

– Theresa Walsh Giarrusso, ajc.com Momania. I have increased my Twitter activity. I am sending out great stories for moms each day focusing on health, fitness, sex, entertainment, food, travel and obviously parenting! So follow me on Twitter at @AJCMOMania!)

42 comments Add your comment

thrifty mom

April 18th, 2011
2:03 am

I can’t believe it has taken so long! The most popular stores in our area have always had a list of who was buying the dress and/or where the dress was going to be worn. I think they would even shop for more styles if they were getting heavily shopped so the chances of overlap would lessen. The big deal was to be able to get a sample dress from the Apparel Mart. That was a long time ago for me and the not so distant future for my daughter.

[...] here: Dibs: Should girls claim prom dresses on Facebook? – Atlanta Journal Constitution (blog) Posted in Fashion News | Tags: function-ctu, image, not-want, notice, previous, previous-page, [...]

[...] Dibs: Should girls claim prom dresses on Facebook?Atlanta Journal Constitution (blog)A new Facebook page allows teens to do just that! “A fashion advice website, Fashism.com, has even launched a Facebook-based registry called “Got Dibs” that allows users to track who's wearing what to which high school event, and get feedback on their … [...]

[...] Dibs: Should girls claim prom dresses on Facebook?Atlanta Journal Constitution (blog)“A fashion advice website, Fashism.com, has even launched a Facebook-based registry called “Got Dibs” that allows users to track who's wearing what to which high school event, and get feedback on their outfit before they wear it. …and more » [...]

Social Media Alert – Facebook | SMLRT

April 18th, 2011
4:53 am

[...] to track who’s wearing what to which high school event, and get feedback on their … read more See more stories on Google: read [...]

catlady

April 18th, 2011
6:33 am

How vain and silly! If you look fabulous, what does it matter what others wear?

fred

April 18th, 2011
7:01 am

I think that this is a fake problem created by television shows that overly dramatize 2 girls wearing the same clothes. It is not a big deal during my prom about 95% of the guys wore the exact same tux as there was only one tux rental shop in the town.lol. this is a made up issue that is only going to create problems where there were none before, and if you are the type of person whose biggest issue is that somebody else is wearing “your” dress, then you must really have a good life to be able to worry about that
but I’m a guy, maybe I just don’t get it

Sam

April 18th, 2011
7:05 am

First world problem!

motherjanegoose

April 18th, 2011
7:10 am

HaHa…since I was a seamstress, for myself and many others…I made my own dress and thus had no problem with anyone copying. Same thing for my wedding dress….I did not worry about anyone copying.

Lat year, my daughter did not go to her Senior Prom, she was scheduled to work on a mandatory day. It was her choice and I admired her diligence…not many would have done so. Later, they told her that she could have gotten off. Anyway…this was not an issue at our house.

Not a Twitter person but y’all have fun.

Aquagirl

April 18th, 2011
7:40 am

Somewhere there might be three, maybe even four or five young women who still care about things that actually matter. So let’s create another tool helping young women to obsess over superficial clothes and image–because they just don’t do that enough already.

motherjanegoose

April 18th, 2011
7:46 am

@ Aquagirl…. my daughter could be one of those young women and I am vouching for DB’s daughter too, even thought I have not met her. I “know” her through DB. I am speaking of college girls though.
My daughter has a few friends who are also in this league, as I am certain DB’s daughter does too.
So, right there we are looking at 10 or so ….

Aquagirl

April 18th, 2011
7:50 am

motherjane, they’ll submit to the HiveMind eventually. Resistance is futile.

motherjanegoose

April 18th, 2011
8:06 am

@ Aqua…you could be right but we are both pretty confident moms and independent thinkers, so they have a leg up on that.

Some moms are way too worried about their peers and their peer’s offspring. They are middle school girls attitudes in adult bodies.

Aquagirl

April 18th, 2011
8:15 am

You’re certainly right there, MJ. People used to say you didn’t really grow up until you had children. I’ve come to realize that’s not true anymore.

PJ

April 18th, 2011
8:34 am

Back in the day, many of us shopped at Legends in Roswell & the store would register the dress for the event so no one else would get it. Once I hit college, I could have cared less – even have photos with the other girls wearing the same dresses at formals – but as a teenage girl, it was important.

justmy2cents

April 18th, 2011
8:37 am

Most dress shops already have the lists as thrifty mom mentioned. I still have a few years before I go through this with my daughter, but I’m not 100% certain she will even want to go to prom. She absolutely hates wearing dresses. Plus most of the prom dresses these days are really slutty too, which will be an issue with us as parents.

But for the questions at hand…sure, call dibs, but don’t be surprised if nobody pays attention. It sort of ruins the surprise, but prom is so superficial I don’t think it matters to anyone. The boys are just there to get laid anyway. I wouldn’t say it is mean girls in action, more shallow than anything.

I call dibs on winning the next huge lottery…

Sarah

April 18th, 2011
8:40 am

That just sounds so absurd to me. I agree with Fred – this sounds far more like sensationalism than anything else.

Personally, when I was in high school (a little more than 10 years ago, as I am 28 now), my parents encouraged me to focus more on my schoolwork than on dresses.

Sarah

April 18th, 2011
8:43 am

Though, I suppose I should add that I was not allowed to go to Prom or date when I was a teenager. That’s Asian parents for you, I suppose. :)

Leigh

April 18th, 2011
9:05 am

What do I think? I think I am glad I have two sons and no daughters. Pure silliness.

jarvis

April 18th, 2011
9:15 am

It has always seemed funny to me that the girls are all supposed to look different, but the boys are all supposed to dress the same.

JJ

April 18th, 2011
9:20 am

CDD

April 18th, 2011
9:24 am

I personally think that any girl who signs up for that should be required to be dropped off in a leper colony (or other equivalent area of major suffering) so they can get some perspective of what real problems are. Just my opinion though. Maybe parents of these girls could be made to join too.

Enemas for Easter

April 18th, 2011
9:27 am

What an absurd thing to be concerned about.

kris

April 18th, 2011
9:29 am

Many years ago, I was a guest at a wedding, and noticed that another young lady and I (we did not
know each other) were wearing the same dress. During the evening, she came over, introduced herself, commented on my dress, and we complimented each other on our good taste!

cc03

April 18th, 2011
9:40 am

This is simply ridiculous. I think girls should be allowed to wear the dress that they want to to their prom. If you show up in the same dress as someone else, it’s not the end of the world. I loved my dress that I wore to my junior prom. A senior had the exact same dress. We just looked at each other and smiled. It’s really not that big of a deal.

Becky

April 18th, 2011
9:51 am

OMG Like when I was in High School two girls wore the same dresses to the Winter Formal but it didn’t matter because they were so popular they were both in the “court” – I was not so popular and wore a beautiful dress my Mom made for me…..I think this is a great idea for all the popular girls whose lives revolve around High School – as for the people who actually can forsee life after High School who gives a —– Anyhoooooo maybe when we go to the reunion this year they will wear matching dresses again (and then they can be my back-singers!!)

Edward

April 18th, 2011
10:11 am

Aren’t prom dresses just slightly sluttier versions of those bridesmaid dresses that nobody will ever wear again?

Becky (original)

April 18th, 2011
10:15 am

I think that if this is something girls are realy concerned about, then they have insecurity issues..

RJ

April 18th, 2011
10:28 am

@motherjanegoose, that happened to me, but I quit. Kroger at Ansley Mall told me that I couldn’t get the day off. I wasn’t missing my senior prom for a job as a grocery bagger lol!

My daughter is not going to her junior prom. I’m so disappointed. She doesn’t particularly care for her school and just can’t wait to graduate. Instead, she and a group of friends are going bowling that night! The dress issue is not a problem this year at our house.

Roberta Higginbotham

April 18th, 2011
10:34 am

I find it amazing these days how technology has replaced common sense.

Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all. Teach your kids that, and you won’t have to worry about the 10 “What if….” questions in the last 2 paragraphs of your piece. Good Lord. Reading those paragraphs makes my head hurt.

[...] on Facebook. 'Got Dibs?' is produced by the fashion advice website, Fashism.com and …Dibs: Should girls claim prom dresses on Facebook?Atlanta Journal Constitution (blog)What's newThe News [...]

cc03

April 18th, 2011
10:46 am

My original comment didn’t post, but I think this is ridiculous. So what if two girls wear the same dress to the prom. It’s not the end of the world. At my junior prom, I wore the same dress as a senior. I was surprised at first to see someone with the same dress, but we just smiled at each other. It really wasn’t a big deal.

bb

April 18th, 2011
11:44 am

Possible texting scenario at the prom when Girl 1 walks in and sees Girl 2 wearing the same dress as she has on.

Girl 1: OMG!!! WTF????

Girl 2: LOL!!! WEG…NMP

Girl1: I thought were BFF??? MPIR….MLIO!!!! :-(

Girl 2: GOI…TGIF..You know I LYLAS

Girl1: YDISH!!!!

Girl2: IK…LR5M?? LMK

Girl1: OMW

Girl2: CU

WEG – wicked evil grin
NMP – not my problem
MPIR – my prom is ruined
MLIO – my life is over
GOI – get over it
LYLAS – love you like a sister
YDISH – your date is so hot
IK – I know
LR5M – ladies room – 5 minutes
LMK – let me know
OMW – on my way

Stacey

April 18th, 2011
1:10 pm

LOL @ bb. Thanks for adding the cheat sheet at the bottom because I had no idea what you said.

I have been out of high school more than 20 years and my only child is a boy. Back when I was in high school my friends and I would often shop together and buy either identical outfits or the same thing in different colors then wear them the same day. I decided to go to the prom literally the day before and I wore my cousin’s dress and shoes from the year before. The only thing I bought was my stocking. Although I don’t regret going, I honestly think I would have been just as happy if I hadn’t because decorating was a lot more fun than the actual prom.

motherjanegoose

April 18th, 2011
3:06 pm

@ RJ…daughter has a car payment and thus ( in this economy) she did not want to quit her job.I left it up to her as to what she should do.
I know kids who quit to take a summer vacation…not at our house…yes, I am a member of the mean mom club :)

Kady

April 18th, 2011
4:52 pm

I graduated high school in 1990 and there were two formal shops that everyone patronized. Both had a guest book where you could see the dress and how many times it had been selected for a particular school’s prom. It was completely voluntary. My junior prom, someone had selected the same dress but I really loved it so guess what, I got it anyway. A few girls in the same dress is no big deal – hair and accessories usually provide enough difference. I would not have liked to wear a dress that 10 or more girls were wearing. I was not insecure and don’t think wanting to have a stand alone prom dress means that. I just wouldn’t want to be in a “uniform” for prom. I can remember having my Grandmother make 2 of my formals because I couldn’t find exactly what I wanted. One winter formal, my best friend and I had matching dresses but in different colors. Dressing up is supposed to be fun and sometimes having something unique is a part of that. I’m not sure about posting a picture online and getting instant feedback on the look and accessories – maybe I’m behind the times but isn’t that what friends are for? Half the fun was shopping with my best friends and trying on lots of looks. Some left us in giggles and some resulted in a great look. It was a fun way to learn about how to dress your body type and how to choose formal attire. I think it’s odd that someone would put so much faith in a perfect stranger’s opinion on your formal look.

newblogger

April 18th, 2011
5:08 pm

Yes, it’s vain, crazy, shallow, they should be worried about something else…it’s all of that and more. But, I have a student intern in my class who is a Junior at her high school and let me tell you-it is ALL about the dress. That is not going to change for some girls. We can whine and complain and hope that they will not be concerned about the dress but more concerned about the way they feel inside, but it doesn’t change a thing. It is what it is.

Kady

April 18th, 2011
6:28 pm

I really don’t see what’s wrong with wanting a unique look for the prom. I can’t believe people think it’s vain and shallow to want something different. We choose different options in our everyday wardrobe so why not in formal wear? Jeez why not have one prom dress that everyone wears? It can be a formal uniform – men already have that in their tuxedo (sarcasm there). I do think it’s ridiculous to call “dibs” on a dress and I don’t think anyone else should be prevented from wearing the same dress if they wish. I do think it’s fine for a store to let everyone know “x” amount of a dress has already been purchased for a prom and then leave it up to the individual as to whether they are still interested. I think it’s strange to post pictures online though.

karma

April 18th, 2011
7:58 pm

1. It’s none of your business (should they?, suggesting you have a say in it)
2. Damn I miss Grizzard!

djm_NC

April 18th, 2011
9:02 pm

oh karma i miss him too!!!1

DB

April 18th, 2011
11:08 pm

The thing that bemused me are the girls who had two or three dresses “at the ready” — i.e., they can’t make up their mind, so their mom/dad buy all three, and the girl doesn’t decide what to wear until the day of the prom, to see what she “feels” like wearing. WTH?

You can put “dibs” on a dress, but it’s not exactly the rule of law, y’know? And besides, many of the girls I know wouldn’t post their dress, because they want it to be a surprise. I had to help my daughter clip a small piece of inside seam to give to her date so that he could see what color her dress was and get the right color flowers — there was NO WAY she was going to show him the dress before she was walking down the staircase wearing it!

@Edward — I had to laugh at your quip about “slightly sluttier looking than bridesmaid dresses”. Some of these dresses — OMG!! Street walkers would be embarrassed to be caught in some of these disasters! Slit up to here and down to there? On teenagers? Yuck! But unfortunately, there aren’t too many role models for elegance, these days.

catlady

April 19th, 2011
11:42 am

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