Master on the main: Love it or hate it?
You can tell what year a house was built based on a couple of things: Is the master bathroom gigantic and is the master on the main?
Somewhere in the 90s (or was it the 80s?) builders decided parents wanted the master bedroom on the main level away from their kids. The theory is the parents would get more privacy but I actually think it just causes more problems.
In my first two houses the master was upstairs with the kids. In this house, the master is downstairs, and I hate it.
My just-turned 4-year-old thinks we are way too far away from her room and wants to sleep in our bed every night. In the old house she was fine in her own bed because we were right down the hall.
When she does fall asleep in her own bed, I worry that she will fall down the stairs trying to come to us during the night. I set up fencing that she would have to be semi-awake to navigate through. I didn’t want to use a locking gate the top stairs in case of a fire – no adult would be up there to let them out.
Another reason I hate the master on the main is the upstairs seems to get messier faster without us up there policing things. There are fewer chances to walk by and yell “hey, clean up your room.” I just don’t go up there that often so messes form quickly.
I also hate the master on the main because it is right behind the family room, where the TV is. I feel like I constantly hear the TV. I don’t feel like I get as much quiet time in this room as I did when my bedroom was upstairs.
My girlfriend is considering moving to master-on-the-main house so I wanted to let other people defend the master on the main concept. I am sure with older kids a lot of my issues would be solved, but my girlfriend has a 3-year-old.
Do you like the master on the main and why? Would you get it again? Have you noticed similar problems that I am having with the master on the main? How have you gotten around similar issues?
Tell us what you think about the site
Customer Care »
Vacation stops, manage subscriptions and more
AJC Services
Sections
Other Editions
Visitor Agreement | Privacy Statement
© 2013 The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
98 comments Add your comment
Bluebell
March 23rd, 2011
1:15 am
Does anyone even edit this blog for content? Is having a master bedroom on the main floor an important subject for mothers? A real cutting edge problem? Especially for poor moms out there who have yet to see a master bedroom, much less have one on the main floor. You’re lucky to even have a house since you write like a fifth grader who has never seen a dictionary. AJC, mothers are fine and necessary but can’t you find someone better to write about them? Someone who didn’t let her kids play in the sprinkler during the drought and brag about it in this blog? Someone who actually researches her writing and is capable of writing more than 4 inane paragraphs about something she pasted into her blog from the New York Times? This writer has proven time and time again that she just can’t cut it. There are a lot of pressing issues that mothers face that deserve real attention. Having a master bedroom on the ground floor is not one of them. Unless the whole idea of this blog is having an idiot write brainless copy based on the grounds that women are stupid. If that’s the point you have succeeded brilliantly.
DB
March 23rd, 2011
2:27 am
Bluebell, coming from you, who thinks that young girls “have the bodies” for trashy clothes and should be allowed to wear whatever they want, you’ll have to pardon me if I don’t take your little rant very seriously. Not every topic has to be death-defying serious solve-the-problems-of-the-world. Personally, I think it’s a good question, and if you have young kids and are looking to buy a house, it certainly brings up points worth considering. Do you think that two moms who sit at a kitchen table and kibbitz for a while are solving all the world’s problems? No — they are talking about things in their world, things that they have to deal with in their everyday life.
I stand back and am prepared to be amazed at whatever topics YOU suggest. Oh, wait — you haven’t. You’ve just bitched at T. because you don’t like HER topics. Don’t like ‘em? Then don’t waste your time. Or ours.
Theresa Walsh Giarrusso
March 23rd, 2011
3:05 am
Bluebell (Jones)– In the last two days we have dealt with divorce, guns in our homes, serving alcohol to minors, and the generational morality of mothers and how that affects their daughters. We always cover a wide variety of topics, and a question about how people live in their homes is worth discussing.
There are generally 8 to 10 topics a week on this blog. If you don’t like a topic, then don’t discuss it. Move on to something else somewhere else on ajc.com. When you come on just to insult the topic you are intimidating other people from commenting and that is against the spirit and the rules of the blog.
Stay on topic or risk being banned.
mom2alex&max
March 23rd, 2011
6:49 am
Bluebell: no one makes you hang out here. If you don’t like a topic, move on.
PHR
March 23rd, 2011
7:06 am
I personally like my master upstairs and my guest room downstairs. That way if we had guests then they would have a little privacy and so would we.
Theresa, maybe you will like the master on the main level a little more when you have pre-teens and teenagers! :)
newblogger
March 23rd, 2011
7:21 am
@Bluebell-we’ve been studying the bill of rights in 5th grade and yes the 1st amendment gives you the right to say anything you want, but the 5th amendment gives you the right to remain silent. Unless you have something nice to say, please excercise that right. Most of us on here enjoy Theresa’s topics. If we don’t, then we have the good sense to move on to something else. You sound like a bitter person who needs to make themselves feel better by tearing others apart. Now, on topic….I totally see your concern with the little ones falling down the stairs. We worried as well. We finally redecorated a downstairs “office” and moved my youngest down there. My oldest was a teenager when we moved in so he was fine. I like the master on the main, that way I don’t have to trudge up the stairs every time I want to go into my room. Lazy? maybe, but it works for us.
motherjanegoose
March 23rd, 2011
7:31 am
Bluebell…I am a writer too. What I write does not appeal to most people but it works for many.
If this blog does not work for you…I think we are fine with it.
At the risk of being redundant, this blog is like a chat over the fence…back when neighbors did so.
Sometimes, we talk about serious topics and sometimes it is more like which cereal stays crunchy longer in milk (yes, some folks have no cereal) or which fish is the best pet for our kids ( and some kids do not have pets).
Since being married, we have mostly lived in one story houses. with the exception of the condo we rented with 2 masters upstairs. This was when we first moved to Atlanta. Son was 2 and he never meandered into our room.
We now have 3 levels. Bedrooms are all upstairs. Our house is almost 14 years old. I am getting tired of climbing stairs every day but know it is good exercise. Finishing the basement was the best thing we did when the kids got to be teens. When they took their friends down there we could not hear them in the bedroom upstairs. They were safe in our house but not bothering us. TWG do house in AZ have basements? I am thinking they do not. We did not have many basements in TX.
I rarely go to the basement, now that they are both out at college.
shaggy
March 23rd, 2011
7:33 am
Bluebell (Jones) is just an itty-bitty, insignificant, and lame troll, who doesn’t even know what “edit for content” actually means. He is jealous, because anything to do with “owning” a house is totally out of the question on his McDonalds salary. Ignore the little troll, and the little troll will petulantly exit stage right.
Topic – I have never owned a two story house. They are too expensive to heat/cool, too hard to clean, and any maintenence done on the 2nd level is a “project”. However, If I had a bigger family, I would probably have to go two story for needed space. You buy what you need, I guess.
motherjanegoose
March 23rd, 2011
7:34 am
Well, we have spent more time in this house than all the rest…I guess I should count. We lived in 8 houses in the first 14 years of our marriage and the last 14 have been in this one.
motherjanegoose
March 23rd, 2011
7:38 am
@ shaggy…maybe that is why my upstairs is never pristine…silly me, I thought it was because more folks would be likely to enter and see the downstairs, so I try to keep it neater. Thanks for clarifying…:)…just teasing…
My husband decided to replace the siding on the fireplace on our second story. A dear friend was helping. Let’s just say they had a little trouble with the ladder and both were hobbling. We had to hire it out to the professionals!
justmy2cents
March 23rd, 2011
7:50 am
The house I live in now was renovated back in the 90’s, so it has two masters. One is on the main level, and the original master is upstairs. My oldest got the old master (smaller bathroom, bigger closet), and we took the main level (HUGE bedroom & bathroom, walk in closet). We never let the kids sleep with us, so it was never an issue of them coming downstairs at night.
As far as messier- the kids have daily chores and we check them every evening. They each have their own bathroom, and I will say the 8 year old could do a better job, but it is still cleaner than most bathrooms I see. My bedroom is the messy one :o) I did all the cleaning I wanted (and then some) in the Army, so I tend to slack off a bit and my dresser remains extremely cluttered. Don’t like it?? Don’t look! That’s my motto!!
jess
March 23rd, 2011
7:53 am
Home built in 1999 has a guest on main, large master suite upstairs. On the rare occasion we have guests, especially aging family members, I like that concept better.
Love my house the way it is now, but once the kids are gone it’ll be way too big. A small one story, with a basement would be perfect. It was hard getting our parents to downsize because they wanted the space when we would all gather once maybe twice a year. Hopefully the housing market will atleast stabilize in 10 years, don’t want or expect a massive profit just want to break even.
RJ
March 23rd, 2011
8:09 am
@Jess, I’m with you. I live in a 5 bedroom room with a guest bedroom on the main. I love that for my guests. However, once my kids are grown and gone, we’re sizing down. a ranch on a basement is all I want.
I think a master on the main works best when the kids are older. As they get older, you might just want to get away from them and the loud music and video games.
motherjanegoose
March 23rd, 2011
8:09 am
@ just…could you send your kids over here? Mine are off to college…;)
My daughter did clean the house for me last week, when she was home from college.
Photius
March 23rd, 2011
8:11 am
Do not let your child sleep in your bed. Be the parent and order their little behind back upstairs to sleep in their own bed. I simply don’t understand this rather new behavior with parents who allow their children to sleep in the parents bed – it is absolutely the wrong thing to do for child development and it’s self indulgent for the adult.
Master on the main? Be thankful that might be the height of your problems considering the unemployment rate, the economy, and the housing market with ongoing mortgage defaults.
motherjanegoose
March 23rd, 2011
8:12 am
@ RJ…when we put our “ranch” up for sale and we had a call to ask how many acres went with it…
uh..1/2? We still laugh about it. All in the perspective!
Lori
March 23rd, 2011
8:35 am
I have a ranch now, which was great for raising my son. Everything is all close together. We are considering moving now though, and a new baby is on the way, so I don’t think I’d go for the master on main thing. I just wouldn’t want to be that far from the nursery. I didn’t even think about what if the house was on fire (OMG) I would definitely want to be close to the kids to help them get out. I agree that the master on main thing would be great with older kids and teens, then we could have some separate space. And I like the concept of a guest on the main (as long as there is a full bath down there), so they can stay out of our living space upstairs. But with the baby coming, I’m thinking I want all my bedrooms on the same floor together.
JJ
March 23rd, 2011
8:36 am
My first house has the master on the main. My child was 3 when we moved in. I liked it at first, but she always ended up in my bed, which to me was ok, once in a while. So I moved my bedroom upstairs to be by her, and made the master into a den/tv room.
After a few years, I moved back down to the master, and gave her a “suite” upstairs, with her bedroom, a bathroom and a play room for when her friends came over.
The current house we are in is a split foyer, you walk in and have to either go upstairs or downstairs. The “basement” consists of a laundry room (with a toiled added), the garage, and one HUGE room. This past summer, my daughter moved down into the HUGE room, and made herself a cute little “condo”, complete with her bedroom furniture, a sofa and a TV…..there’s a door to the outside, and a nice patio that I am fixing up for her this summer for her and her friends to go outside and sit, instead of being in the house. I have the entire upstairs, all three bedrooms, which I converted her old bedroom into my office. I’ve never had an office before…..
Betty
March 23rd, 2011
8:39 am
My old house had the master upstairs with the other bedrooms and a guest bedroom and full bath on the main floor and it was perfect. It was great for guests staying over as well as aging parents who have trouble with steps. It was also nice being closer to the children upstairs when they were younger.
Photo Mom of 4
March 23rd, 2011
8:45 am
We have a ranch with split bedrooms and a full basement. It is the perfect combination for us. The teenagers have rooms in the basement and the younger ones are on the main floor, but down the hall a bit. The younger ones were 2 & 3 1/2 when we moved into the house and we didn’t have any problems with them trying climb in our bed at night.
AngryRedMarsWoman
March 23rd, 2011
8:47 am
My home was built in the early 70s. On the main floor, tucked behind the TV room and off the sunroom, is a nice suite with two-room bathroom – I use it as a guest suite and never thought of it as a master. Upstairs, my bedroom is as big as the living room in the home in which I grew up….and I love it. As a family, we spend more time in my bedroom than in the living room, TV room or rec room. My bedroom doesn’t qualify as a master suite though because it doesn’t have its own bathroom (I can hear y’all now….the horror! LOL) – just two bathrooms in the hallway between it and the two other bedrooms on the level. I guess we are truly a product of our own childhood because I never thought of doing anything but sleeping in a bedroom near my child…all together as a family off the same hallway, just like when I was a kid. My house doesn”t get “messy” – my family is too busy for a messy house and that wouldn’t change no matter where I slept.
TinaTeach
March 23rd, 2011
9:00 am
We looked at several house with master bedrooms on the main floor. We thought it was really cool but in the end went with a house that had all the rooms upstairs. We’re glad we did. I have fallen down (and up) the stairs at our house fully awake. I can’t imagine doing it half asleep after checking on our 18 month old.
However with the in-laws living with us, we’d really like to get a house with either a master on the main or at least a guest bedroom on the main. As my MIL ages, her knees are not as happy with the stairs and we’d like to avoid installing a chair lift on our narrow stairway. Having a master on the main floor would allow her to have her room on the main level of the house without having to kill her knees.
YUKI
March 23rd, 2011
9:02 am
Our master is upstairs, and has a separate nursery inside the suite with it’s own door. Talk about nice when my son was a baby. Now he has moved out into his own bedroom next to ours, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I can’t imagine having had to go up and down the stairs every time he needed feeding or anything in the middle of the night. Maybe later I wouldn’t mind having the master downstairs but when your kids are young I think it’s better to be closer to them.
JOD
March 23rd, 2011
9:08 am
We bought our first house way before DD was born, and it was master-on-the-main. No issues with her not sleeping in her own bed, and we had a baby gate just outside her door. With a video monitor, I was usually upstairs within seconds if she needed me.
The new house is a ranch on a mostly finished basement with the master on one side and the bedrooms on the other. Same deal here – still use the video monitor and a baby gate on her hall so she can’t wander around at night (not really an issue, but just in case). This works well for us since she isn’t usually inclined to sleep in our bed.
I will say that the master-on-the-main was annoying since the TV was just on the other side of the wall from the bedroom, and Hubs stays up late, particularly when we have guests. The HVAC unit was on the other side of the wall from the bed, which I HATED and will never do again. Nothing like the A/C running all night in August with an old, noisy unit.
@AngryRedMarsWoman – I can barely share a bathroom with my husband, so perhaps in your house we would have ‘his’ and ‘hers’ bathrooms. But I guess the ‘his’ bathroom would rapidly become a petri dish for the next cancer cure :o) I digress…
motherjanegoose
March 23rd, 2011
9:09 am
@ tina…I slid down the stairs and bruised my tail bone more than once. Our little dog was running right next to me and I tripped….ouch. Now, I hold the hand rail like an old granny!
Ya’ll have fun…I am heading out to schools. Enjoy this beautiful spring weather here in Atlanta!
JOD
March 23rd, 2011
9:11 am
@TinaTeach – I though I was the only one capable of falling up the stairs – thanks for making me feel better! Cracked my tailbone and a bone in my foot at the old house…
motherjanegoose
March 23rd, 2011
9:12 am
oops..one more thing…JOD, I found a piece of chewed up gum near our sink…yuck!
I do not chew gum. I asked hubby if he put it there. He was indignant and did not want to claim it. I guess our dog did? Yes, I love a clean bathroom in my hotel room. One I do not share when I am traveling.
justmy2cents
March 23rd, 2011
9:13 am
@ MJG- nope, I’m keeping them :o) My 8 year old makes my coffee in the morning…she took over after the oldest went into middle school and gets to sleep in later in the morning. It still amazes me in the summertime that my 12 year old will get up and make coffee for me. No reason in the world for her to be up that early, but just wants to do me that favor. My kids can be good once in a while! :o)
Lori
March 23rd, 2011
9:19 am
My only requirement for having all the bedrooms upstairs is that the laundry room is up there too. My first house had the laundry room downstairs and I fell down the stairs all the time carrying the clothes down there! It’s nice to know I’m not the only clumsy one….
Techmom
March 23rd, 2011
9:33 am
@Lori – that’s my comment too. Our last house had all the bedrooms upstairs but the laundry was down. Hello? Who thought that was a good idea? You get undressed upstairs, carry dirty laundry down and then have to carry clean laundry back up. Dumb.
The house we’re in now has the master on main and I do like it. Our son is older so we don’t have the baby/little kid issues to worry about. I have an office upstairs but quite honestly, work in the kitchen most days (the coffee pot is closer) so I don’t go upstairs much but it stays relatively clean (again, no little kids). The nice part about having a 2nd floor with most of the bedrooms being upstairs (versus a ranch) is that when you have people over, you really only have half a house to clean.
Theresa Walsh Giarrusso
March 23rd, 2011
9:39 am
MJG — no basements here at all. They say the ground is too hard so it’s too costly to dig them out. also risk of flooding because the ground does not absorb the water quickly enough when it does rain.
Lori– no such luck on the laundry room either — downstairs.
Photius – we have been making double mortgage payments and hanging on by our teeth. This has been one of the worst years of our lives. We are very grateful for what we have but have also experienced much of the pain the rest of the country is also going through.
Theresa Walsh Giarrusso
March 23rd, 2011
9:50 am
I will try to get a second topic up for later today. My oldest has been home sick for the last three days with severe lung issues (breathing at 50 percent). The doctor has put her on massive steroids and antibiotics. I am hoping she will be breathing easier today. So i will try to get something up later if all is well with her.
1911A1
March 23rd, 2011
9:51 am
Lori, you nailed it. Virtually all dirty laundry is generated in the bedrooms & bathrooms. Why, then, are houses designed with the laundry room on a different floor than the one where all the laundry is generated? That’s like having the stove in the kitchen and the refrigerator in the basement.
jess
March 23rd, 2011
9:55 am
I don’t mind have my laundry downstairs, it’s a mud room with a side entrance that we use alot. Most of the dirty sports clothes get dropped off and don’t go to the bedrooms – my rule! I consider laundry up and down the stairs part of my daily exercise routine.
Re: Falling down the stairs. Hardwood stairs and socks are not a good combination. Love the look and its good for our allergies, etc – but they can be dangerous.
jarvis
March 23rd, 2011
9:58 am
My high school girlfriend’s house was large with the master on the main. It provided ample opportunity to sneak upstairs and fool around after her parents had gone to bed.
It did help my adolescent sex life, but now as the father of a girl, I’ve learned that the boys will be out of the house before I head to bed.
jarvis
March 23rd, 2011
10:04 am
Submitted that before I finished my thought…so the master on the main can open up an entirely new set of issues once the kids hit their teen years.
Techmom
March 23rd, 2011
10:07 am
@jarvis now that my son is nearly 16 and we do live in a house with the master on main, and the completely opposite side of the house as his room, I told my husband we should really have the alarm system activated. I’m not worried about someone trying to get it, we have dogs for that, but rather the boy trying to get out!
Theresa Walsh Giarrusso
March 23rd, 2011
10:25 am
techmom — be afraid of the boy going out – my brother went out his bedroom window on the second level, dropped sideways down to the room on the bay window and then jumped to the ground — did it frequently and my parents never knew– I don’t think I even knew until he went to college.
Mattie
March 23rd, 2011
10:31 am
When we were house hunting in 2005, my husband vetoed the master on the main idea. I know now he regrets that. With the oldest getting married, and the younger two away at school, we could have shut off the entire top floor. My dream house would be a ranch with the master at one end and the other bedroom beyond all the living areas. Very common in FL when we lived there, and it was the perfect compromise.
My friend is now trying to sell her master on the main home. She has had many realtors come through and leave feedback. One thing they have not listed as a plus/minus is the master bedroom off the front hallway.
JOD
March 23rd, 2011
10:31 am
@justmy2cents – Wow! Kudos to your kid – what a sweetie. DD is into kissing booboos (which includes freckles and scars). She just covers me in kisses sometimes – totally makes my day :o)
@MJG – Is your post missing, or do I need more caffeine?
@Techmom – We have our alarm hooked up but not monitored for that very purpose…set it to chime so the house tattles on any exterior doors opening…
Techmom
March 23rd, 2011
10:42 am
@JOD our house is wired but not monitored, I guess I should just play with it and see if I can get it to chime when windows & doors are opened before paying for monitoring.
jarvis
March 23rd, 2011
10:45 am
Also, I’m not completely positive her folks didn’t know what was going on.
I suppose they might have thought that if we were engaging in that type of activity, their house may have been a safer location than the backseat of my car or some other “parking” location. Thing with teens is that as a parent you can’t control where they are 24/7.
All of that said, there will be no “action” taking place under my roof when my kids are older.
jarvis
March 23rd, 2011
10:51 am
TWG….I am impressed by your brother’s committment to sneak out. The real question is, how did he sneak back in undetected?
Photius
March 23rd, 2011
10:59 am
Double mortgage payments, mercy. My sympathies and understanding. Financial stressors regarding a family are terrible. Keep your chin up, TWG.
deidre_NC
March 23rd, 2011
11:08 am
theresa i hope your daughter gets better soon!
the preferred layout of a home changes a lot from when the kids are young to when they become teens. when young i would want them close to me…when they become teens please let their rooms or where they hang out be close to the kitchen and their own bath and mine FAR away!! i would have loved to have a guest house for myself when my kids were teens lol…
AK Renovations
March 23rd, 2011
11:09 am
Love it or Hate it – You can always change it! The principles or Universal Design recommend having a room on the main floor – be it master bedroom, office, guest room etc. – that can be converted into a bedroom should the need arise.
You never know when an injury, illness or age might lead to a change in abilities for a family member. Having the ability to adapt a home to the changing needs of it’s inhabitants is what is truly important!
As a Certified Aging In Place remodeling company our firm is happy to help in all situations! http://www.AKAtlanta.com
Wayne
March 23rd, 2011
11:10 am
Jarvis! I was thinking the same thing; how the heck did he get back in?
deidre_NC
March 23rd, 2011
11:10 am
to clarify-my house was the one where all the kids wanted to be. i am very low key and willing to talk to the kids without making them feel stupid or bad for anything they said. so they loved to be here. they knew my rules-NO drinking-NO sex-and several others—other than that they could stay here when they wanted or needed to as long as they kept cleaned up after themselves and NEVER woke me up unless it was an emergency. but ill tell you-once im asleep (especially on a work night) DO NOT wake me up unless its life or death.
JJ
March 23rd, 2011
11:12 am
Theresa be very careful with those steroids….they can make Rose meaner than a snake……
DB
March 23rd, 2011
11:24 am
I just wish we had a bedroom on the main level now. Twenty years ago, we never dreamed we’d be in the same house, since we had been in six houses in the previous six years! The house was built in the late 70s. We have a nice guest suite in the daylight basement with a full bath, and bedrooms upstairs, too — but now that our parents are in their 80s, mobility is definitely an issue. There’s no room on the main level to add a bedroom, otherwise, I’d be seriously considering it. I think in our next house, we would have a master on the main — simply because it’s easier, with kids moving on with their lives, not to have to heat/AC the upper level. We had a one-level house in South Florida, with the master in one wing and the other bedrooms in another, and that was very nice.
jmb
March 23rd, 2011
11:24 am
Ours is a 1 story with a finished full basement. The master & master bath take up the entire left side of the house with the open living room kitchen, powder room and laundry in the middle and 2 bedrooms with a jack n jill bath take up the right side of the house. I designed it so the girls were on the other side of the house and laundry room convenient to all. We also have a guestroom, bath, laundry and open sports area in the basement. Only regrets is we have 8 sliding doors and I HAVE had the teens problem with sneaking out at night and there’s no way to hear them with a door out of their bedroom. Since their grown now, it’s not such a big deal but it liked to drove me nuts a few years ago!
abc
March 23rd, 2011
11:25 am
Having a master on the main floor allows your elderly parents to avoid stairs when they come to visit. There should be another master on the upper floor — presuming that a master-on-main design would be in a larger house, 5-6 BR or more.
If it’s not a larger house, master-on-main doesn’t make a lot of sense. It would take up too many square feet from public areas.
jarvis
March 23rd, 2011
11:34 am
abc, great point. My mother-in-law has a smaller bedroom on her first floor. It was great when he parents would stay with her.
Theresa Walsh Giarrusso
March 23rd, 2011
11:41 am
He climbed back up – — he was very tall. You stand on the grill to get back up on the bay window roof — which was lower than the family room roof, then go to the family room roof and then climb back int he window — I’m pretty sure that’s what he did –I was always asleep — he was three years older than me.
Erica
March 23rd, 2011
11:47 am
Our master is upstairs, but we have a guest bedroom, with full bathroom on the main floor, which is nice for our elderly family members when they visit. We actually still use the “baby gate” at night for the upstairs, as I am afraid that my daughter might venture towards the stairs while we’re asleep. I don’t think I’d feel comfortable with a master on the main until my daughter is a few years older. Now once she’s grown and out of the house, I would love either a ranch with a basement (all bedrooms on one level) or a master on the main, as I am soooooo tired of stairs.
jarvis
March 23rd, 2011
11:48 am
Lilburn has a long proud history of wall scalers among is young males. I’m glad to have been a part of our heritiage :).
Theresa Walsh Giarrusso
March 23rd, 2011
12:03 pm
jarvis — eric jarvis was in my class at parkview — are you his brother (or sister) —
catlady
March 23rd, 2011
12:06 pm
Now, I am going to sound like Theresa, and I don’t want to give her another thing to be worried about, but I would not like it from a safety aspect. Not the stairs (I’d be the one having trouble) but the fire/smoke/CO danger. I want to be where I have the best shot at getting to my kids to get them out of the house, no matter how old they are! I have never been wealthy enough to afford a house like that, however.
As to the TV, well, when I go to bed the TV always had to be off. If I was napping, the TV was off and everyone else tiptoed around, if they dared move at all.
jarvis
March 23rd, 2011
12:18 pm
No ma’am. Not my real name.
Looking at your bio, I think you were a Senior when I was a Freshman at P’view.
If you can see my email address on the post, that’s my real name. My mom taught at our middle school. You might have had her.
JATL
March 23rd, 2011
12:32 pm
Actually, we built our house 3 years ago, and the builder was leaning toward the “master on main” thing, but we changed that to the guest room and put the master upstairs. We wanted to be upstairs, and our two other reasons were that all of our parents have/had knee issues, so we didn’t want them to have to climb stairs, and I was pregnant with our second at the time, so I didn’t want to be downstairs with a baby and a toddler upstairs. The upstairs master is an enormous room, and I’m just getting around to really putting it together the way we want it. The kids rooms are on the opposite end of the hall, and we feel like we have plenty of privacy. We DO have the laundry upstairs between our room and the kid’s rooms -just off the master bath. I love it! It’s really convenient.
motherjanegoose
March 23rd, 2011
12:34 pm
Wow…none of that drama at my house…as far as I know we never had anyone sneak in or out.
jarvis
March 23rd, 2011
12:44 pm
MJG, my mom would say the same thing ;-).
gpkbsin
March 23rd, 2011
12:51 pm
@TWG — I’m very proud of you for standing up to Bluebell. you are usually very patient with these negative remarks… i’d be kicking them out without warning ;)
About the topic — I hate master on main for almost the same reasons as you said… except I don’t worry about kids falling from stairs since they take care of themselves. I don’t even like 2 floor houses. Until few months ago, I used to live in a one floor and basement house and kids, us, food, etc. was always on the same floor.
master of the domain
March 23rd, 2011
1:03 pm
I really hope they start building more one story homes, once the housing market turns around of course. All brick or very appealing and durable exteriors. Well appointed with details that you see in older homes. There will be plenty of families to fill the mega homes folks like us currently live in.
AngryRedMarsWoman
March 23rd, 2011
1:22 pm
“Why, then, are houses designed with the laundry room on a different floor than the one where all the laundry is generated?”
Mine is in the basement. If the washer springs a leak I don’t ruin anything. Up and down all those stairs is actually pretty good exercise. My cats hide on the steps and try to kill me because I cannot see them over the basket…so laundry in my house is an adventure.
jarvis
March 23rd, 2011
1:33 pm
How many cats do you have?
Bluebell
March 23rd, 2011
1:42 pm
To say that this blog has addressed the issues of gun control, divorce and morality would be like saying fish can read. I’m not as interested in the quality of the responses, which are sometimes quite good, as the inanity of the subject matter and the complete lack of effort the writer puts forth. Four or five paragraphs to a subject is just dangling bait. It’s not writing. And the lack of research is a disgrace (and the admission of it: “I just searched the bathroom to find the old EW and I can’t find the right magazine. And I can’t find the link online either. However, I am pretty sure this theater in Portland is the one EW wrote about.”). This is a newspaper, a document of record. Lets look at some other topics: “Should you take a vacation with your ex?” “Would you like a safe list in your school”( silly and uber-helicopter mommie fodder), “Disneyworld’s Vacation sale is almost over” (advertise in your blog much?), the famous “Hall Pass” entry, “Should the husband of Gabrielle Giffords give up his NASA mission”, “Should grandparents give too many presents?” which is just ill mannered-gifts should be accepted with grace no matter how many there are. And try to remember that there are kids out there who get NO christmas presents. I think a better title for this blog would be how to raise wealthy children.
You need examples of what to write instead of this self-conscious, entitled, master bedroom drivel? Ok, try these:
-What is the result of a child being left to cry in a crib or playpen? Would you ever do it and do you know anyone who has? Pros and cons.
-Discuss the state of foster care and what you would do if you had to split up your family. Or lost your home?
-What you would do if you saw a child in your school being ignored, yelled at or shamed?
-How would you deal with a parent or caregiver who is emotionally unavailable? What has your experience been with this? Can anything be done?
-How would you handle the fact that your child knows that it is being lied to? This is a frequent problem in families. What would you do if your child called you out on it?
-What would you do if your child had to be left alone in a hospital during an illness? How would you handle hospital staff, doctors, people who do not understand your child’s emotional needs?
-How would you handle your child being ridiculed by a teacher? This happens. Who would you confront, or would you confront at all?
-How would you handle forgetting to pick up your child from school or other places. How would you reassure your child that it would never happen again, especially if the child really internalized the act as abandonment, whether it was or not?
-How important is it to you that your child not be a racist?
-How do you create a sense of balance and safety in a child? Discuss different ways of doing this.
-What to you tell a child about aging grandparents? When do you tell them about death?
-How you deal with helicopter mothers? Do you think this is good or bad behavior? Does your child compare you to women who over-mothering?
-Do you think teachers should be allowed to use corporal punishment in schools? Why or why not.
-How long do you believe a child be allowed to be innocent, in every way, innocent of sex, death, pain.
-How should you deal with a child who has come into close contact with a criminal act? By the age of 10 would it be ok to explain what had happened truthfully or should you lie?
-What would you do with child of your own that you just you didn’t like?
-Do you feel that your way of resolving conflict with you husband sets a good example to your children?
-What do you intentionally do to create harmony in you family on an every day basis? What do others do?
-How important is it for your children to become wealthy? Inversely, how do you deal with a child who has become obsessively materialistic?
-How do you explain disasters like the one in Japan to your children?
-How do you explain “the other” in society? Do you prepare the child for the differences in humanity or do you just hope that it stays within it’s social class?
I haven’t really bothered to correct the grammar in these examples since the blogger doesn’t. This blog needs to do better than just drag a headline out of another newspaper then tack on a few questions. It’s lazy.You really will have to banninate me. I’m not going anywhere. I will criticize anything I see fit to criticize.
jmb
March 23rd, 2011
1:47 pm
Angry, having one on each floor has been awesome for us. When the kids get out of the lake they can drop their wet cloths right into the washer downstairs and when I’m cooking, I can wash & fold upstairs.
awwe
March 23rd, 2011
1:52 pm
Bluebell, I actually like your sugestions!
Theresa Walsh Giarrusso
March 23rd, 2011
2:10 pm
Bluebell I’m happy to take constructive suggestions for topics — feel free to suggest. What I won’t tolerate is commenters being so negative about topics that it intimidates other readers and keeps them from participating. And I’m not standing for personal attacks any longer. I have been patient frequently, but it is not in my job description to be personally attacked and abused. I never personally attack you guys, and I expect that same respect. You can disagree with me but I will not put up with personal attacks any longer. This is the warning. My patience is gone.
JJ
March 23rd, 2011
2:16 pm
Bluebell sounds like a I guy I work with. Never has anything positive to say or contribute, thinks he knows it all, always points out everyone’s faults, screams and yells when he doesn’t get his way, and is just basically angry at the world. He is NOT a team player. It’s his way or the highway…..kinda like a three year old who just doesn’t get it.
Try to find something positive and go from there.
Bluebell
March 23rd, 2011
2:35 pm
I have never seen this group intimidated by any subject. Ever. Look at Shaggy. To say that being negative keeps people from participating is disingenuous. And it actually IS in your job description to endure personal attacks. Go read Cynthia Tuckers blog if you want to see real examples of personal attacks and the grace with which she continues to endures them. Of course you are going to get cut up a little. It’s YOUR blog. If you can’t accept criticism of the way you have structured it then would I suggest that you are not cut out for the job. It’s a public forum. You need to learn to take the good with the bad. And I would suggest that my input is positive. It would be great if a blog on motherhood dealt with actual issues rather than whether Taylor Swift is too young to date Jake Gyllenhaal.
If you want to ban me, you go right ahead. It, however, might make you look a little less touchy if you gave a reasoned explanation of why your blog reads as it does.
Bluebell
March 23rd, 2011
2:36 pm
endure
jarvis
March 23rd, 2011
2:48 pm
Long posts suck.
Bluebell
March 23rd, 2011
2:56 pm
Yeah, I know. Sorry. I wouldn’t blame you if you went tl:dr.
Me
March 23rd, 2011
3:00 pm
Well, being “old” and lazy (more laxy than old but I digress) I like the “master on main” concept even though I’ve never had a house with this floorplan – but our kids are virtually grown with only one still living at home and to have some separation might be okay. Oh, and @Bluebell, why in the world did you waste your time and ours ranting on a blog topic – or even on a blog – that you don’t personally find “on topic”? Geez — get a life and, while you’re it, leave ours.
Theresa Walsh Giarrusso
March 23rd, 2011
3:08 pm
It’s actually not my job to take personal attacks and abuse. So for now, until she/he finds, another IP address (which I am sure he/she will) all 20 of their previous used IP addresses are banned.
justmy2cents
March 23rd, 2011
3:08 pm
@ Bluebell’s suggestion of topic: forgetting to pick up a kid
I just did the same thing (in reverse) yesterday. I went to school to pick her up from ASP, they call her from her grade level “she’s on her way”. I wait, and wait, and wait. They call her again, yes “she is on her way”. A few seconds later “umm, actually, she’s not here”. ASP lady and I look at each other for a second like WHAT?! Brain fart on my end…hubby works from home on Tuesdays and she is always a bus rider! Duh, me!
Re: laundry room- ours was in the basement in the garage. When the previous owner’s M-I-L moved in, they added onto the house and put the laundry room upstairs. Lucky me!
jarvis
March 23rd, 2011
3:28 pm
Considering it took him about 15 hours to create that list of topics, I say use them. That a-hole just saved you days of brainstorming.
Actually it looks like Blueballs might have stolen some topics from the “She Knows Parenting” website, but anyway…mostly interesting topics.
Aside from a disappointingly low number about the female form, but other than that, I think you could rip his ideas off for weeks.
Techmom
March 23rd, 2011
3:31 pm
Many of Bluebell’s topics have been covered actually
Warrior Woman
March 23rd, 2011
3:31 pm
Our 3-story home has bedrooms and baths on each floor. We use the ones on the upper level for bedrooms, the main level as a guest room, and the other level as office space. I really dislike master on main homes, and didn’t consider any when we bought this house recently. I like the privacy of an upstairs bedroom – it feels more like a haven.
Becky
March 23rd, 2011
5:08 pm
I was told by a realtor once that they washer/dryers are in the basements or a different floor, because it used to be that homes were designed by men and that most men didn’t do laundry..This was about 15 years ago, when me and the ex looked at a home with the washer/dryer in a closet on the carport..We had looked all thru this house and I had not seen one, so I asked where it was..He said out this way and started out into the carport..I looked at my husband and said “we don’t want this house”..End of subject…
As for master on main, I would think it would be great after the kids are older, but I wouldn’t want it that way while the kids are little..
Theresa..Hope that you and your family are loving your new home and your new state..
Techmom
March 23rd, 2011
5:59 pm
Hmm, my comments seem to be getting lost this week…
I think some of Bluebell’s suggestions have been topics we’ve discussed. And he/she obviously wasn’t around last week when the new slew of suggestions came out.
Techmom
March 23rd, 2011
6:07 pm
TWG- did you block me too? None of my posts are showing up :-(
catlady
March 23rd, 2011
6:37 pm
Hope your girl feels better soon. My GD has strep/ear infection. Woke her mom and dad at 3 am with temp of 102. It is MISERABLE when your child is sick! How much we take our health for granted!
A teacher my daughter works with has a son who has contracted MRSA. Wow! So the problem for the precious GD isn’t so bad, really. At least it should respond.
Anyway, Theresa, keep a stiff upper lip (or whatever) ; )
Old Sandra
March 23rd, 2011
7:27 pm
I hope your daughter is feeling better soon.
On topic, I would rather be closer to the kids on the upper floor than on the main. Although when I was looking at houses for sale on the net, I did find an old house that had an interesting floor plan. It was a very large house (way out of most people’s price range including ours!) and it had the master on the main but there was a private staircase that led from the master closet to the hallway on the upper floor. I thought this was a good idea as if there is a fire in the main hall (or a home invasion) there would still be a way to get to the kids upstairs.
Old Sandra
March 23rd, 2011
7:48 pm
BTW, when it comes to children and illnesses trust your instincts. We noticed our eldest daughter was not growing correctly when she was 6 months old but it took until she was over 1 1/2 years old for the doctors to agree and decide that she wasn’t digesting her food correctly. One of my nieces developed a very high temp and no matter what my s-i-l did the temp would not go down. It took around two weeks for the docs to diagnose her with two forms of leukaemia (ALL and AML). Nobody is going to fight harder for your kids than you will.
JoDee
March 23rd, 2011
8:41 pm
Hey! My house is for sale! It has a master and a secondary bedroom on the main, and a second master, another bedroom, and a bonus room upstairs. It is perfect for so many different scenarios! Anybody interested? Fulton ZIP but Cherokee taxes and services.
Theresa Walsh Giarrusso
March 23rd, 2011
8:53 pm
no didn’t block you Techmom as long as you’re not working on the same computer — I will look for them
Kat
March 23rd, 2011
9:40 pm
Theresa: Has she used a nebulizer (sp?) yet? It worked wonders for my kid. Hope Rose is better soon!
Techmom
March 23rd, 2011
10:21 pm
I sent that from my phone… seeing if it will let me post from my computer.
jarvis
March 23rd, 2011
10:23 pm
TWG, was your class the one that picked “Just Like Heaven” as the Homecoming theme? There were silhouettes of Robert Smith hanging all over the school.
Looking back that was pretty funny, but at the time I remember thinking how dark and cool the Seniors were.
Techmom
March 23rd, 2011
10:24 pm
Weird – I posted a couple of comments after Bluebell’s rant and none showed. Seems to be working now though so maybe it was just the cyber ghosts at it again.
Theresa Walsh Giarrusso
March 23rd, 2011
11:06 pm
jarvis — I have no idea — I will have to look at the yearbook and see.
kat — she has a chamber and an inhaler that she uses sometimes when she gets sick. she’s going back for more testing when we know she’s over the virus. so we’ll see what shows up then.
Theresa Walsh Giarrusso
March 24th, 2011
12:41 am
Shaggy — i think just mentioning the name now pulls it into spam.
Theresa Walsh Giarrusso
March 24th, 2011
12:42 am
maybe not — it didn’t for techmom but there were four in the spam cue that it did — hmm.
shaggy
March 24th, 2011
8:22 am
TWG,
Thanks. I was just commenting that I thought it cool that “bluegill” didn’t like me. Trust me, the feeling is mutual.
In “non-cyber shaggyworld”, it usually gets ugly when I am unfortunate enough to interact with “bluegill” types.
Sorry if I was partly responsible for outing your move to Arizona. However, I do believe it would have come over better if you had mentioned it. Blogging Atlanta from Arizona will work for you. You do have enough Atlanta in you to qualify as a Georgia girl, and once a Georgia girl, always a Georgia girl. The are the best, bar none. I know, because I married one.
motherjanegoose
March 24th, 2011
9:50 am
@ shaggy….
If my kids had snuck out of the house one of these things would be on the table…
A TALL LADDER
A STRONG FRIEND…TO CATCH THEM…neighbors dogs would be barking
A MEDICAL BILL FROM BROKEN BONES
Our house is up a hill. Some folks do not like climbing up our driveway. If either of my two snuck out of their second stroy window…it would be dangerous.
I know you had adventures, growing up. Hubby did too. Our house is pretty quiet.