Master on the main: Love it or hate it?
You can tell what year a house was built based on a couple of things: Is the master bathroom gigantic and is the master on the main?
Somewhere in the 90s (or was it the 80s?) builders decided parents wanted the master bedroom on the main level away from their kids. The theory is the parents would get more privacy but I actually think it just causes more problems.
In my first two houses the master was upstairs with the kids. In this house, the master is downstairs, and I hate it.
My just-turned 4-year-old thinks we are way too far away from her room and wants to sleep in our bed every night. In the old house she was fine in her own bed because we were right down the hall.
When she does fall asleep in her own bed, I worry that she will fall down the stairs trying to come to us during the night. I set up fencing that she would have to be semi-awake to navigate through. I didn’t want to use a locking gate the top stairs in case of a fire – no adult would be up there to let them out.
Another reason I hate the master on the main is the upstairs seems to get messier faster without us up there policing things. There are fewer chances to walk by and yell “hey, clean up your room.” I just don’t go up there that often so messes form quickly.
I also hate the master on the main because it is right behind the family room, where the TV is. I feel like I constantly hear the TV. I don’t feel like I get as much quiet time in this room as I did when my bedroom was upstairs.
My girlfriend is considering moving to master-on-the-main house so I wanted to let other people defend the master on the main concept. I am sure with older kids a lot of my issues would be solved, but my girlfriend has a 3-year-old.
Do you like the master on the main and why? Would you get it again? Have you noticed similar problems that I am having with the master on the main? How have you gotten around similar issues?
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98 comments Add your comment
jmb
March 23rd, 2011
11:24 am
Ours is a 1 story with a finished full basement. The master & master bath take up the entire left side of the house with the open living room kitchen, powder room and laundry in the middle and 2 bedrooms with a jack n jill bath take up the right side of the house. I designed it so the girls were on the other side of the house and laundry room convenient to all. We also have a guestroom, bath, laundry and open sports area in the basement. Only regrets is we have 8 sliding doors and I HAVE had the teens problem with sneaking out at night and there’s no way to hear them with a door out of their bedroom. Since their grown now, it’s not such a big deal but it liked to drove me nuts a few years ago!
abc
March 23rd, 2011
11:25 am
Having a master on the main floor allows your elderly parents to avoid stairs when they come to visit. There should be another master on the upper floor — presuming that a master-on-main design would be in a larger house, 5-6 BR or more.
If it’s not a larger house, master-on-main doesn’t make a lot of sense. It would take up too many square feet from public areas.
jarvis
March 23rd, 2011
11:34 am
abc, great point. My mother-in-law has a smaller bedroom on her first floor. It was great when he parents would stay with her.
Theresa Walsh Giarrusso
March 23rd, 2011
11:41 am
He climbed back up – — he was very tall. You stand on the grill to get back up on the bay window roof — which was lower than the family room roof, then go to the family room roof and then climb back int he window — I’m pretty sure that’s what he did –I was always asleep — he was three years older than me.
Erica
March 23rd, 2011
11:47 am
Our master is upstairs, but we have a guest bedroom, with full bathroom on the main floor, which is nice for our elderly family members when they visit. We actually still use the “baby gate” at night for the upstairs, as I am afraid that my daughter might venture towards the stairs while we’re asleep. I don’t think I’d feel comfortable with a master on the main until my daughter is a few years older. Now once she’s grown and out of the house, I would love either a ranch with a basement (all bedrooms on one level) or a master on the main, as I am soooooo tired of stairs.
jarvis
March 23rd, 2011
11:48 am
Lilburn has a long proud history of wall scalers among is young males. I’m glad to have been a part of our heritiage :).
Theresa Walsh Giarrusso
March 23rd, 2011
12:03 pm
jarvis — eric jarvis was in my class at parkview — are you his brother (or sister) —
catlady
March 23rd, 2011
12:06 pm
Now, I am going to sound like Theresa, and I don’t want to give her another thing to be worried about, but I would not like it from a safety aspect. Not the stairs (I’d be the one having trouble) but the fire/smoke/CO danger. I want to be where I have the best shot at getting to my kids to get them out of the house, no matter how old they are! I have never been wealthy enough to afford a house like that, however.
As to the TV, well, when I go to bed the TV always had to be off. If I was napping, the TV was off and everyone else tiptoed around, if they dared move at all.
jarvis
March 23rd, 2011
12:18 pm
No ma’am. Not my real name.
Looking at your bio, I think you were a Senior when I was a Freshman at P’view.
If you can see my email address on the post, that’s my real name. My mom taught at our middle school. You might have had her.
JATL
March 23rd, 2011
12:32 pm
Actually, we built our house 3 years ago, and the builder was leaning toward the “master on main” thing, but we changed that to the guest room and put the master upstairs. We wanted to be upstairs, and our two other reasons were that all of our parents have/had knee issues, so we didn’t want them to have to climb stairs, and I was pregnant with our second at the time, so I didn’t want to be downstairs with a baby and a toddler upstairs. The upstairs master is an enormous room, and I’m just getting around to really putting it together the way we want it. The kids rooms are on the opposite end of the hall, and we feel like we have plenty of privacy. We DO have the laundry upstairs between our room and the kid’s rooms -just off the master bath. I love it! It’s really convenient.
motherjanegoose
March 23rd, 2011
12:34 pm
Wow…none of that drama at my house…as far as I know we never had anyone sneak in or out.
jarvis
March 23rd, 2011
12:44 pm
MJG, my mom would say the same thing ;-).
gpkbsin
March 23rd, 2011
12:51 pm
@TWG — I’m very proud of you for standing up to Bluebell. you are usually very patient with these negative remarks… i’d be kicking them out without warning ;)
About the topic — I hate master on main for almost the same reasons as you said… except I don’t worry about kids falling from stairs since they take care of themselves. I don’t even like 2 floor houses. Until few months ago, I used to live in a one floor and basement house and kids, us, food, etc. was always on the same floor.
master of the domain
March 23rd, 2011
1:03 pm
I really hope they start building more one story homes, once the housing market turns around of course. All brick or very appealing and durable exteriors. Well appointed with details that you see in older homes. There will be plenty of families to fill the mega homes folks like us currently live in.
AngryRedMarsWoman
March 23rd, 2011
1:22 pm
“Why, then, are houses designed with the laundry room on a different floor than the one where all the laundry is generated?”
Mine is in the basement. If the washer springs a leak I don’t ruin anything. Up and down all those stairs is actually pretty good exercise. My cats hide on the steps and try to kill me because I cannot see them over the basket…so laundry in my house is an adventure.
jarvis
March 23rd, 2011
1:33 pm
How many cats do you have?
Bluebell
March 23rd, 2011
1:42 pm
To say that this blog has addressed the issues of gun control, divorce and morality would be like saying fish can read. I’m not as interested in the quality of the responses, which are sometimes quite good, as the inanity of the subject matter and the complete lack of effort the writer puts forth. Four or five paragraphs to a subject is just dangling bait. It’s not writing. And the lack of research is a disgrace (and the admission of it: “I just searched the bathroom to find the old EW and I can’t find the right magazine. And I can’t find the link online either. However, I am pretty sure this theater in Portland is the one EW wrote about.”). This is a newspaper, a document of record. Lets look at some other topics: “Should you take a vacation with your ex?” “Would you like a safe list in your school”( silly and uber-helicopter mommie fodder), “Disneyworld’s Vacation sale is almost over” (advertise in your blog much?), the famous “Hall Pass” entry, “Should the husband of Gabrielle Giffords give up his NASA mission”, “Should grandparents give too many presents?” which is just ill mannered-gifts should be accepted with grace no matter how many there are. And try to remember that there are kids out there who get NO christmas presents. I think a better title for this blog would be how to raise wealthy children.
You need examples of what to write instead of this self-conscious, entitled, master bedroom drivel? Ok, try these:
-What is the result of a child being left to cry in a crib or playpen? Would you ever do it and do you know anyone who has? Pros and cons.
-Discuss the state of foster care and what you would do if you had to split up your family. Or lost your home?
-What you would do if you saw a child in your school being ignored, yelled at or shamed?
-How would you deal with a parent or caregiver who is emotionally unavailable? What has your experience been with this? Can anything be done?
-How would you handle the fact that your child knows that it is being lied to? This is a frequent problem in families. What would you do if your child called you out on it?
-What would you do if your child had to be left alone in a hospital during an illness? How would you handle hospital staff, doctors, people who do not understand your child’s emotional needs?
-How would you handle your child being ridiculed by a teacher? This happens. Who would you confront, or would you confront at all?
-How would you handle forgetting to pick up your child from school or other places. How would you reassure your child that it would never happen again, especially if the child really internalized the act as abandonment, whether it was or not?
-How important is it to you that your child not be a racist?
-How do you create a sense of balance and safety in a child? Discuss different ways of doing this.
-What to you tell a child about aging grandparents? When do you tell them about death?
-How you deal with helicopter mothers? Do you think this is good or bad behavior? Does your child compare you to women who over-mothering?
-Do you think teachers should be allowed to use corporal punishment in schools? Why or why not.
-How long do you believe a child be allowed to be innocent, in every way, innocent of sex, death, pain.
-How should you deal with a child who has come into close contact with a criminal act? By the age of 10 would it be ok to explain what had happened truthfully or should you lie?
-What would you do with child of your own that you just you didn’t like?
-Do you feel that your way of resolving conflict with you husband sets a good example to your children?
-What do you intentionally do to create harmony in you family on an every day basis? What do others do?
-How important is it for your children to become wealthy? Inversely, how do you deal with a child who has become obsessively materialistic?
-How do you explain disasters like the one in Japan to your children?
-How do you explain “the other” in society? Do you prepare the child for the differences in humanity or do you just hope that it stays within it’s social class?
I haven’t really bothered to correct the grammar in these examples since the blogger doesn’t. This blog needs to do better than just drag a headline out of another newspaper then tack on a few questions. It’s lazy.You really will have to banninate me. I’m not going anywhere. I will criticize anything I see fit to criticize.
jmb
March 23rd, 2011
1:47 pm
Angry, having one on each floor has been awesome for us. When the kids get out of the lake they can drop their wet cloths right into the washer downstairs and when I’m cooking, I can wash & fold upstairs.
awwe
March 23rd, 2011
1:52 pm
Bluebell, I actually like your sugestions!
Theresa Walsh Giarrusso
March 23rd, 2011
2:10 pm
Bluebell I’m happy to take constructive suggestions for topics — feel free to suggest. What I won’t tolerate is commenters being so negative about topics that it intimidates other readers and keeps them from participating. And I’m not standing for personal attacks any longer. I have been patient frequently, but it is not in my job description to be personally attacked and abused. I never personally attack you guys, and I expect that same respect. You can disagree with me but I will not put up with personal attacks any longer. This is the warning. My patience is gone.
JJ
March 23rd, 2011
2:16 pm
Bluebell sounds like a I guy I work with. Never has anything positive to say or contribute, thinks he knows it all, always points out everyone’s faults, screams and yells when he doesn’t get his way, and is just basically angry at the world. He is NOT a team player. It’s his way or the highway…..kinda like a three year old who just doesn’t get it.
Try to find something positive and go from there.
Bluebell
March 23rd, 2011
2:35 pm
I have never seen this group intimidated by any subject. Ever. Look at Shaggy. To say that being negative keeps people from participating is disingenuous. And it actually IS in your job description to endure personal attacks. Go read Cynthia Tuckers blog if you want to see real examples of personal attacks and the grace with which she continues to endures them. Of course you are going to get cut up a little. It’s YOUR blog. If you can’t accept criticism of the way you have structured it then would I suggest that you are not cut out for the job. It’s a public forum. You need to learn to take the good with the bad. And I would suggest that my input is positive. It would be great if a blog on motherhood dealt with actual issues rather than whether Taylor Swift is too young to date Jake Gyllenhaal.
If you want to ban me, you go right ahead. It, however, might make you look a little less touchy if you gave a reasoned explanation of why your blog reads as it does.
Bluebell
March 23rd, 2011
2:36 pm
endure
jarvis
March 23rd, 2011
2:48 pm
Long posts suck.
Bluebell
March 23rd, 2011
2:56 pm
Yeah, I know. Sorry. I wouldn’t blame you if you went tl:dr.
Me
March 23rd, 2011
3:00 pm
Well, being “old” and lazy (more laxy than old but I digress) I like the “master on main” concept even though I’ve never had a house with this floorplan – but our kids are virtually grown with only one still living at home and to have some separation might be okay. Oh, and @Bluebell, why in the world did you waste your time and ours ranting on a blog topic – or even on a blog – that you don’t personally find “on topic”? Geez — get a life and, while you’re it, leave ours.
Theresa Walsh Giarrusso
March 23rd, 2011
3:08 pm
It’s actually not my job to take personal attacks and abuse. So for now, until she/he finds, another IP address (which I am sure he/she will) all 20 of their previous used IP addresses are banned.
justmy2cents
March 23rd, 2011
3:08 pm
@ Bluebell’s suggestion of topic: forgetting to pick up a kid
I just did the same thing (in reverse) yesterday. I went to school to pick her up from ASP, they call her from her grade level “she’s on her way”. I wait, and wait, and wait. They call her again, yes “she is on her way”. A few seconds later “umm, actually, she’s not here”. ASP lady and I look at each other for a second like WHAT?! Brain fart on my end…hubby works from home on Tuesdays and she is always a bus rider! Duh, me!
Re: laundry room- ours was in the basement in the garage. When the previous owner’s M-I-L moved in, they added onto the house and put the laundry room upstairs. Lucky me!
jarvis
March 23rd, 2011
3:28 pm
Considering it took him about 15 hours to create that list of topics, I say use them. That a-hole just saved you days of brainstorming.
Actually it looks like Blueballs might have stolen some topics from the “She Knows Parenting” website, but anyway…mostly interesting topics.
Aside from a disappointingly low number about the female form, but other than that, I think you could rip his ideas off for weeks.
Techmom
March 23rd, 2011
3:31 pm
Many of Bluebell’s topics have been covered actually
Warrior Woman
March 23rd, 2011
3:31 pm
Our 3-story home has bedrooms and baths on each floor. We use the ones on the upper level for bedrooms, the main level as a guest room, and the other level as office space. I really dislike master on main homes, and didn’t consider any when we bought this house recently. I like the privacy of an upstairs bedroom – it feels more like a haven.
Becky
March 23rd, 2011
5:08 pm
I was told by a realtor once that they washer/dryers are in the basements or a different floor, because it used to be that homes were designed by men and that most men didn’t do laundry..This was about 15 years ago, when me and the ex looked at a home with the washer/dryer in a closet on the carport..We had looked all thru this house and I had not seen one, so I asked where it was..He said out this way and started out into the carport..I looked at my husband and said “we don’t want this house”..End of subject…
As for master on main, I would think it would be great after the kids are older, but I wouldn’t want it that way while the kids are little..
Theresa..Hope that you and your family are loving your new home and your new state..
Techmom
March 23rd, 2011
5:59 pm
Hmm, my comments seem to be getting lost this week…
I think some of Bluebell’s suggestions have been topics we’ve discussed. And he/she obviously wasn’t around last week when the new slew of suggestions came out.
Techmom
March 23rd, 2011
6:07 pm
TWG- did you block me too? None of my posts are showing up :-(
catlady
March 23rd, 2011
6:37 pm
Hope your girl feels better soon. My GD has strep/ear infection. Woke her mom and dad at 3 am with temp of 102. It is MISERABLE when your child is sick! How much we take our health for granted!
A teacher my daughter works with has a son who has contracted MRSA. Wow! So the problem for the precious GD isn’t so bad, really. At least it should respond.
Anyway, Theresa, keep a stiff upper lip (or whatever) ; )
Old Sandra
March 23rd, 2011
7:27 pm
I hope your daughter is feeling better soon.
On topic, I would rather be closer to the kids on the upper floor than on the main. Although when I was looking at houses for sale on the net, I did find an old house that had an interesting floor plan. It was a very large house (way out of most people’s price range including ours!) and it had the master on the main but there was a private staircase that led from the master closet to the hallway on the upper floor. I thought this was a good idea as if there is a fire in the main hall (or a home invasion) there would still be a way to get to the kids upstairs.
Old Sandra
March 23rd, 2011
7:48 pm
BTW, when it comes to children and illnesses trust your instincts. We noticed our eldest daughter was not growing correctly when she was 6 months old but it took until she was over 1 1/2 years old for the doctors to agree and decide that she wasn’t digesting her food correctly. One of my nieces developed a very high temp and no matter what my s-i-l did the temp would not go down. It took around two weeks for the docs to diagnose her with two forms of leukaemia (ALL and AML). Nobody is going to fight harder for your kids than you will.
JoDee
March 23rd, 2011
8:41 pm
Hey! My house is for sale! It has a master and a secondary bedroom on the main, and a second master, another bedroom, and a bonus room upstairs. It is perfect for so many different scenarios! Anybody interested? Fulton ZIP but Cherokee taxes and services.
Theresa Walsh Giarrusso
March 23rd, 2011
8:53 pm
no didn’t block you Techmom as long as you’re not working on the same computer — I will look for them
Kat
March 23rd, 2011
9:40 pm
Theresa: Has she used a nebulizer (sp?) yet? It worked wonders for my kid. Hope Rose is better soon!
Techmom
March 23rd, 2011
10:21 pm
I sent that from my phone… seeing if it will let me post from my computer.
jarvis
March 23rd, 2011
10:23 pm
TWG, was your class the one that picked “Just Like Heaven” as the Homecoming theme? There were silhouettes of Robert Smith hanging all over the school.
Looking back that was pretty funny, but at the time I remember thinking how dark and cool the Seniors were.
Techmom
March 23rd, 2011
10:24 pm
Weird – I posted a couple of comments after Bluebell’s rant and none showed. Seems to be working now though so maybe it was just the cyber ghosts at it again.
Theresa Walsh Giarrusso
March 23rd, 2011
11:06 pm
jarvis — I have no idea — I will have to look at the yearbook and see.
kat — she has a chamber and an inhaler that she uses sometimes when she gets sick. she’s going back for more testing when we know she’s over the virus. so we’ll see what shows up then.
Theresa Walsh Giarrusso
March 24th, 2011
12:41 am
Shaggy — i think just mentioning the name now pulls it into spam.
Theresa Walsh Giarrusso
March 24th, 2011
12:42 am
maybe not — it didn’t for techmom but there were four in the spam cue that it did — hmm.
shaggy
March 24th, 2011
8:22 am
TWG,
Thanks. I was just commenting that I thought it cool that “bluegill” didn’t like me. Trust me, the feeling is mutual.
In “non-cyber shaggyworld”, it usually gets ugly when I am unfortunate enough to interact with “bluegill” types.
Sorry if I was partly responsible for outing your move to Arizona. However, I do believe it would have come over better if you had mentioned it. Blogging Atlanta from Arizona will work for you. You do have enough Atlanta in you to qualify as a Georgia girl, and once a Georgia girl, always a Georgia girl. The are the best, bar none. I know, because I married one.
motherjanegoose
March 24th, 2011
9:50 am
@ shaggy….
If my kids had snuck out of the house one of these things would be on the table…
A TALL LADDER
A STRONG FRIEND…TO CATCH THEM…neighbors dogs would be barking
A MEDICAL BILL FROM BROKEN BONES
Our house is up a hill. Some folks do not like climbing up our driveway. If either of my two snuck out of their second stroy window…it would be dangerous.
I know you had adventures, growing up. Hubby did too. Our house is pretty quiet.