I didn’t watch Tuesday’s “Glee” episode until Thursday so I am a little late on this topic, but I wanted to share with you all one of the best sex talks I have ever heard. (You can see the scene above if you click to 32:21. If you don’t immediately click over t the correct minutes you will end up watching four commercials instead of two — hate that! I promise to start watching “Glee” at it’s actual time instead of two days later!)
Tuesday’s episode was all about teaching the kids about sex. (Britney thought a bird building a nest outside her house meant she was pregnant, and Finn thought he got his girlfriend pregnant through hot tub water.)
For those of you who don’t watch “Glee” there are several gay characters (in high school) on the show. Kurt is a young, out gay man who is very innocent. Kurt’s dad Burt picked up pamphlets to explain the mechanics of sex to him but what he really wanted to talk about was why sex mattered and how it was more than a physical act.
When I went looking on the internet to find the words to Kurt’s Dad speech I found multiple articles agreeing that is was truly a great speech about sex – gay or otherwise.
“With two guys, you got two people who think that sex is just sex. It’s gonna be easier to come by. And once you start doin’ this stuff, you’re not gonna wanna stop,” Burt said. “You gotta know that it means something. It’s doing something to you, to your heart, to your self-esteem — even though it feels like you’re just havin’ fun.” …
“Kurt, when you’re ready, I want you to be able to … do everything. But when you’re ready, I want you to use it as a way to connect to another person. Don’t throw yourself around like you don’t matter. ‘Cause you matter, Kurt.”
I think the writers really articulated how the act of sex can affect your feelings about yourself. I love the line “Don’t throw yourself around like you don’t matter. ‘Cause you matter..”
I think if more parents said those words to their kids there would be at least more thought before having sex and hopefully less just having sex.
We always heard growing up that boys use ‘love’ to get sex and girls use sex to get love.
I think girls especially want to be such pleasers and are willing to throw themselves around in search of “LOVE!!” and then end up feeling like crap because they don’t understand the way the physical act is connected to their self-esteem.
I plan to file this puppy away for later use. Good words that parents can steal for an uncomfortable conversation that needs to be had.
So what did you think of Burt’s speech to Kurt? Would you crib parts of it for your own uncomfortable talk? Have you explained to your kids the self-esteem connection to the physical act of sex? Did your parents explain that? (I think I was just told you’re going to hell if you have premarital sex and it’s wrong. That’s at least the message I remember.)