Should young girls be allowed to use tampons?
I heard a discussion on the Sirius radio show “Whatever with Alexis and Jennifer” about whether or not young girls should be allowed to wear tampons. Alexis and Jennifer had talked to a mom who was bothered by the invasiveness of a tampon. She believed it was too much like sex and not appropriate for a teenage girl.
Alexis and Jennifer disagreed with this depiction and felt like tampons have absolutely nothing to do with sex and are essential to young girls being able to go on with their regular activities while having their periods. They felt that restricting young girls to pads made them suffer through their periods and would keep them from participating comfortably in their normal physical activities.
There was also discussion about whether young girls were responsible enough to remember to change their tampon. You never hear people talk about Toxic Shock Syndrome anymore but I guess that is the concern. I would think there would be natural consequences – ie embarrassing situations – if they didn’t change regularly.
I haven’t had to confront this yet with my oldest daughter but I am guessing I am two years away from it. So I am interested in how you guys handled with your daughters.
I started my period in the sixth grade but I don’t think I used a tampon until that summer. I had planned to go swimming at Stone Mountain with a group of girls and started that day. I didn’t think I could go and my mom was like “What are you talking about. Just wear a tampon.” So she goes and hands me this giant super OB tampon (no applicator) and is like there you go. I had no idea what to do with it and was particularly freaked out by the lack of applicator. She was incredulous that I couldn’t make it work and finally put together that 12-year-olds need the slim ones not the super ones. So we went to the store for a slender Playtex with an applicator. Overall, it was not a great first introduction to tampons. I think I wore them off and on depending on my activity after that. My mom left it up to me. (She was insistent that you NEVER sleep in them.)
So do you think tampons are appropriate for teenagers to wear? Did you let your daughters wear them? Did you worry about Toxic Shock Syndrome at all or is that all 1980s? Did you monitor if they changed regularly – or if they aren’t responsible enough to change it then they shouldn’t use them?
What was your first experience with tampons like? Did your mom hand you a super too? Did it go well?
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malleesmom
February 23rd, 2011
5:54 am
I have one daughter approaching the age/issue. She has not started yet but most likely will by the end of summer. She is also a swimmer so tampon use is a “given”. I have no problem with them being used at this age and wished I had learned about them earlier in my youth. Toxic shock is less of an issue because 1) some of the materials used in the 80s are not longer 2) those huge “super” ones rarely exist. My mom used them too. ugh. Today’s product is smaller, thinner and I think easier to use. Like anything else, proper use is key. Change often and don’t sleep in them if you can avoid it.
mom2alex&max
February 23rd, 2011
6:20 am
Oh boy does this take me back. My mother REFUSED to let me wear tampons for the same reason. So my physical activities during that time were greatly reduced. Finally, by the time I was around 15 or 16 I went and bought them with my own money cuz I was sick of the restrictions. She relented after that, but wasn’t happy about it.
I have no daughters, so I guess I don’t have to contend with all that!
motherjanegoose
February 23rd, 2011
7:22 am
@mom2alex&max…..me too! My Mom did not want me to wear tampons, although she wore them.
That was 35 ish years ago. I started using them in college. I have NO problem with my daughter wearing them. Pads, to me, are gross.
deidre_NC
February 23rd, 2011
8:01 am
my mom wouldnt let me use them either. i have no idea why-but 2 of my girlfriends and i figured out how and that was that. my youngest daughter started when she was 10..and used a pad at first..she was so young a tampon just seemed too much. she hated the pad and i bought some of the very slender ones…she was ok with it after she got used to it. she was really so young..i think that was more of an issue and she hated the grossness of the pad. she was very active in all kinds of sports and outdoor activities-the pad just wasnt getting it.of course we had the lessons on how often to change it etc…i think that is pretty obvious-when she would have really bad cramps she would use a pad at night…she doesnt use them at all now…just the little mini pads for the breakthough stuff.
Claire
February 23rd, 2011
8:23 am
I started when I was 10, in 5th grade. I started using tampons that summer, because I liked to swim. I never turned back. There’s absolutely no reason a young girl shouldn’t be able to use one. It’s for sanity reasons- there’s no reason to relate it to sex. That’s like saying “as soon as your hymen is broken you’re no longer a virgin” or “if you use super tampons it means you’re not a virgin.” That’s ridiculous. I never had an issue leaving them in too long nor forgetting to change them.
motherjanegoose
February 23rd, 2011
8:29 am
Off topic but sort of related. My daughter came home from college and told me:
Mom, I think I need to put a sign up in the girl’s restroom on our floor:
PLEASE FLUSH THE TOILET WHEN YOU USE IT
it is so gross!
If kids can get into college, can the flush their own toilet or do Mom and Dad do it for them?
TinaTeach
February 23rd, 2011
8:35 am
I don’t see a problem with it. I was wearing them when I started at 12. My sister chose pads and still wears them to this day. I can’t stand pads, they just seem so gross!
Aquagirl
February 23rd, 2011
8:40 am
Tampons are like sex? Lord, that woman must have lived an incredibly boring life.
Elvis
February 23rd, 2011
8:42 am
Well I found the string on the end of a Tampon makes it easier to floss after I eat
lulu
February 23rd, 2011
8:43 am
When my MIL (and plenty of older family members, come to think of it) don’t think virgins CAN wear tampons – never mind SHOULD.
I started in 7th grade and started using tampons at the same time – like the first poster, I was a swimmer so it was a necessity. Never had problems, never thought it was anything remotely like sex, remained plenty sheltered for quite some time.
As for TSS, all 1980s. The cause of all the cases then was discovered and eliminated pretty quickly. Now, change often and “don’t wear them to sleep” is a great rule that I completely ignore, because pads are gross.
lulu
February 23rd, 2011
8:45 am
*My MIL… doesn’t …(Not “When my MIL… don’t…”) Sorry, no idea what I did there.
justmy2cents
February 23rd, 2011
8:47 am
@ Aquagirl- LMAO, no doubt!! I bet she was straight up missionary style
My oldest started this year, and she currently uses pads. I agree they are gross, but she has finished her quarters of PE for the year (which is another issue- WHY only PE half the year???). If she asks to use tampons, I have no issues with it.
When I first started, I used pads…ughh like wearing bloody diapers, disgusting!! My mom left is up to us what we wanted to use, but no, never had an applicator-less “plug” as I call it.
ABC
February 23rd, 2011
8:55 am
Eww and double eww. Is nothing private anymore?
Aquagirl
February 23rd, 2011
8:55 am
@ just, all I could think of was a bizarre sort of lolcat thing: “either secks or tampons.. U R doing it rong.”
iRun
February 23rd, 2011
8:55 am
OMG, my mother, who is 65 had to deal with HER mother not letting her wear tampons because “unmarried women, who are supposed to be virgins, should not wear tampons” because god-forbid anything touch the vagina before that great master – the husband. Only HE can touch it!
Anyway, she became a nurse. And when I started my period at age 11 she was right there with a box of the smallest ones, saying, “C’mon, this is so much better than that DAIPER.”
In fact, she helped me “apply” the first one. I was 11 and she is my mom and was a nurse so it was all very OBGYN. Painless, safe, and it made all my future periods so much easier to deal with.
Especially since iRun a lot.
Never did the issue of sex come into the wearing of tampons. She didn’t even need to mention that you should take them out before sex because we’d already had sex talks and she’d told me I shouldn’t have sex until I was old enough to take care of a baby and/or married. Unfortunately, I got married and had a baby before I was really old enough to take care of one. But that’s another story.
As for virgins not being ABLE to wear tampons? Sounds like the doctors who thought women shouldn’t be runners because it would damage their reproductive organs. True story. Back in the 70s, before the wide-spread acceptance of women in major marathon. Hello Katherine Switzer!
As for TSS…my sister, whose a doctor, says that you only really have to worry about that if you’re one of those women with REALLY REALLY light periods and you’re tempted to put one in and leave it there for more than a day. That’s a bad setup. You should change them every 6-8 hours, even if you have a super light flow.
All this is moot, though. I had my uterus firebombed a while back so it doesn’t work anymore, doesn’t even bleed. Now I got all these tampons dry rotting in my medicine cabinet.
iRun
February 23rd, 2011
9:05 am
Ick, sorry for my typos…too much coffee.
Carly
February 23rd, 2011
9:07 am
Wow, this takes me back! I am a 45-year-old woman and I can remember that my mother told me that that tampons (and douching, too!) was strictly for married women. I didn’t learn differently until I went away to college and my roomate looked at me as if I were from another planet when I mentioned this to her. When my daughter started to get her menses, I instructed her on the use of both pads and tampons and let her make her own choice, based on her own personal preference. I think that mothers in the 50’s, 60’s and 70’s were just going on what their mothers taught them.
A
February 23rd, 2011
9:15 am
My mother was always a prude, and never used tampons. Knowing my grandmother as I do, she didn’t put any “anti-tampon” ideas into my mother’s head, but nonetheless my mother still had a fear of them. And I don’t think she truly though they were “bad” or “evil”….she was just simply afraid of them. She always wore the biggest, thickest pads you could find….with the wings. It was honestly one step below an adult diaper. So when it came time for me to enter the world of menstrual products, that was what she bought me. I was absolutely disgusted. I was a late starter, so I knew many of my friends used tampons….I asked her about them, and she tried her best to divert my attention. I was insistent though, because I had an extremely heavy flow from the beginning and I was extremely active (running, swimming, water sports, etc.) and needed something better than her adult diapers. So she finally relented and took me to the store. She wouldn’t go down the aisle with me, so I remember buying several different kinds to figure out what worked best for me. When it came time to figure out how to use them, she was absolutely no help……I went through about half a box before I got one in sucessfully.
Carla
February 23rd, 2011
9:18 am
Been debating this issue a lot this year. My step-daugter is at that “any day now” age and so the conversation has started. Her mom doesn’t want her to use them and for the same reason…too invasive at that age. My mom wouldn’t let me wear them so my friend’s mom would buy them for me and I had to get real creative at home about how to hide the use of them. I just remember having to wear the pads at school and then going to the bathroom, turning around to your best friend…worriedly asking…Can you tell I’m wearing this? Boys also know what is happening at this age and if they catch u with a pad on they would spread it all over the school…And pretty much everything about using a pad and god forbid wearing one is just nasty…and makes one feel gross…So..do I follow my daughter’s mom’s wishes? I don’t know yet. I may have to wait until my daughter decides it is an issue for HER. Until then I’m just gonna be there and be supportive and BLESS HER HEART! LOL!
Her
February 23rd, 2011
9:23 am
No, young girls should not use tampons. only her parents can tell her what she is ALLOWED to do and i hope they would encourage pads.
in Sex Ed they recommended tampons usage minimal, plus while rare TSS is possible.
tampons are just gross anyway personal opinion. pads are soft and stay on the outside of things…tampons you have to stick up and….well you know. no thank you.
LydiasDad
February 23rd, 2011
9:26 am
I’m getting a little nauseous here…
FCM
February 23rd, 2011
9:33 am
My oldest is getting that point. We have the talks, she had the lesson school in Health. I have no issue with her using them–except at night, she can do a pad then.
She however said she has no plans to use them. A pad seems fine to her. She thinks the whole idea of a tampon is disgusting and “there is no way I want to put that in there!”
I on the other hand had a mother like Mom2 Alex & Max. She believed that it would encourage me to want to have sex. Whatever! I ended up getting my friends to bring them to me from their supplies. About 6 years after I started my regular cycles I had sex…so much for Mom’s thoughts on tampons vs. sex.
CobbParent
February 23rd, 2011
9:37 am
I don’t have a daughter, but those of us with sons know that as the girls around them start to “change” we must be prepared to answer some questions. My son knows about periods and tampons because he has a mom. No big deal, I didn’t have to get graphic or gross about it. Perhaps more difficult is coming up with an answer to “why do people call one another douchebags?” Geez. I remember the term being used when I was a kid in the 70s/80s and never quite understood it. I mean, I know what a douche is…and what a douchebag was (the product has been all-in-one and disposable for decades so there are not bags anymore, right?). I still don’t know how someone who is a jerk or an idiot equates to a vaginal wash or the equipment that used to be used to conduct the procedure….maybe it is because you shouldn’t be around either?
Suchaneffinlady
February 23rd, 2011
9:39 am
I’m glad this topic was broached. My daughter is 13 and has been getting her cycle since she was 11. It just seemed natural to me to have her use pads, even though I prefer tampons myself. After reading some of your comments, I have decided to introduce her to tampons and leave that decision up to her. Pads are icky and gross but there is an old fashioned side to me (I’m 29) that felt like inserting objects into the vagina would be traumatizing, however, its quite natural and she has probably explored “that area” on her own anyway. She won’t be pleased but we will be discussing tampon usage this evening! Thanks all
iRun
February 23rd, 2011
9:42 am
CobbParent,
I believe it’s because a real old fashioned douche bag gets is (1) a tool, (2) gets really gross after use, and (3) is a very personal product.
As such, calling someone a douchebag implies (1) they’re a tool, (2) they’re disgusting, and (3) they’re self-centered wankers.
At least that’s how I’ve always applied the term.
CobbParent
February 23rd, 2011
9:44 am
Thanks, iRun. :) And LOL, I thought I was the only one around here who used the term “wanker”.
iRun
February 23rd, 2011
9:44 am
remove the *gets* from my first sentence. sheesh…
iRun
February 23rd, 2011
9:46 am
Nah, as soon as I first hear that term from a British guy I knew in high school I’ve used it ever since.
Though, it might be that douchebag means approximately the same thing as wanker so in my little definition of the word it’s redundant.
Tom
February 23rd, 2011
9:51 am
“too much like sex”?????
Sounds like one of those S Ga Talibaptist busy-bodies fighting Sunday alcohol sales.
Techmom
February 23rd, 2011
9:53 am
iRun – thanks for the laugh (wanker – bahahaha)
Anan
February 23rd, 2011
9:54 am
For goodness sakes! This discussion is Not for the AJC!
TG
February 23rd, 2011
9:54 am
Losing your virginity to a tampon. Ah…yes. I remember that concern back in the 70’s. But the excuse not to is because it is “too invasive?” Shouldn’t we women teach our daughters about their parts before a man does?
A
February 23rd, 2011
10:04 am
I’m starting to wonder if “Her” is my mother….
Cammi317
February 23rd, 2011
10:07 am
My mom would not allow me to use them. I was 17 and away in college the first time I used one. My daughter is 13 and has not started yet but I know by year’s end she will and this is an issue that has been on my mind. The dance school “encourages” the use of tampons. Over the last couple of years we have had various discussions and the thought of a tampon currently grosses her out anyway. I know it’s illogical, but right now I also have issues with anything being inserted into my daughter so I am happy that she currently has no interest in using tampons. Of course, that her mind may change when it’s a real issue. I guess we’ll cross that bridge over the next few months….
Jeff
February 23rd, 2011
10:12 am
Let them use the tampon. Being active and having confidence in their activity is more important. Girls that are active are less likely, statistically, to get into trouble. Besides, sex doesn’t carry the taboo it did when I was growing up in the 80’s. It’s not like some guy is going to have the marriage annuled because she used tampons.
Theresa Walsh Giarrusso
February 23rd, 2011
10:12 am
I have a more dad friendly topic popping up around 1 p.m. I wasn’t sure whether to post this topic but I am glad I did. I am enjoying everyone’s stories and it’s good for us to think about how attitude’s have changed.
JATL
February 23rd, 2011
10:13 am
Good grief! Is someone seriously debating the “sexuality” of tampon use? Really? Unbelievable. My mom introduced me to pads (anyone remember Sure and Natural?) when I started at 12, and I went through about 2 cycles before asking her to get me tampons. She did. Pads are gross to me, and if a female does any type of athletics, dancing, exercise classes or swimming/water activities, then she better get used to tampons. My mom and I used to crack up at the old Cathy Rigby Stayfree ads where she was supposedly wearing a “mattress” (this was before slim pads with wings and all of that jazz) under her gymnastics leotard. The print ads showed her on the balance beam doing a handstand with her legs spread in a perfect split. Sure -like she had on a big ‘ol Stayfree at the time! Please!
As far as tampons and sleeping -I always wear them, and that includes overnight. Pads at night are even more disgusting. And forgetting about them? Well, uh, it happens and is possible although I’ve never personally understood how. I would think young minds with fresh brains would be better at remembering that sort of thing than us older, addled women.
iRun
February 23rd, 2011
10:14 am
OMG, why is everyone up in arms about girls inserting things into their vaginas?!?! WTF?
Doncha remember when they were babies/toddlers and they were sticking their OWN fingers up there all the time, during the natural exploration of their bodies? Or didya stop that, too?
As far as them thinking it’s gross…sure, because there’s goopy, clumpy blood and mucus dripping out of it. Nasty. But they shouldn’t think it’s nasty otherwise. Don’t they CLEAN themselves??? You didn’t teach them they should do that?
Man, I don’t have a daughter but I sure would approach the subject of her vagina in a no-nonsense fashion. I mean, there’s biology, psychology, and sex, which is both biological and psychological. As a parent you gotta teach them their bodies are okay and teach them the love and care of their bodies.
When it comes to sex, teach them whatever morals, ethics, and safety procedures you think are necessary. But you gotta stop treating the vagina like it’s a freakin venus fly trap that’s gonna suck them into a world of promiscuity and moral ethos.
It’s a freakin vagina, not a sulfurous black hole.
Carla
February 23rd, 2011
10:19 am
IRUN…Giggles and snort…just spit my coffee out laughing…priceless! I catch my son holding on to himself constantly…sleeping, standing, talking, walking….but girls are taught to almost fear it as “quicksand”…
Carla
February 23rd, 2011
10:20 am
i mean their own parts are quicksand…..where boys are out in the open with …oh never mind
bunch of yentas
February 23rd, 2011
10:21 am
Personally, I think that women should still lay on a rag on a bed for a week during this time of the month. Only getting up to prepare food or do laundry.
Nah, I’m kidding. Let the girls stop it up however they want and go about their normal day.
really
February 23rd, 2011
10:23 am
am i the only person who prefers pads?! i have a very sensitive “area” and feel VERY uncomfortable with tampons (i’ve tried every brand/type available). if, unfortunately, i have a daughter (i am such a tomboy!), i will give her the option of either one. i do not think it’s a big deal.
the major issue i encounter – being a middle school teacher – is hygiene during menstruation. we need to focus a little more on teaching girls how to keep themselves clean and fresh during this time of the month.
Bert
February 23rd, 2011
10:26 am
I have a 16-month-old, and I really wanted to avoid this conversation for a while.
really
February 23rd, 2011
10:26 am
i played sports, even went to college on a basketball scholarship, and did just fine with pads.
mom2alex&max
February 23rd, 2011
10:26 am
bunch of yentas, you laugh but when I got my period for the 1st time it happened to be on a day that my great-grandma (at the time she must have been well into her 80s) came over to the house for tea. My mother, of course, whispered to her what had happened and she said: “And you are up and about??? I was in bed the whole day!”
Ah memories…
JATL
February 23rd, 2011
10:27 am
@iRun -you’re cracking me up! No kidding about “vaginal education” -it’s a body part, and if you have one, you should know how it works and how to treat it properly! You would be surprised and appalled at how many parents still freak out and punish (even spank) their young children when they find them playing with themselves or little girls sticking their fingers in their vaginas while naturally exploring. They are taught from the very beginning that it’s “nasty” and taboo and shameful. It’s sad and disgusting that these attitudes are alive and well in 2011.
iRun
February 23rd, 2011
10:27 am
bunch of yentas – my mom told me about how when she was a teenager they had the old fashioned rags, with the belts, etc. Tampons, from what I understand, were available for retail sale loooooooong before the disposable pad.
So, here’s my mom in the 50s, having to wear this giant cloth diaper with a freakin belt and she sees these small, discreet little tampons in the store and her mom won’t let her wear them for fear that her future husband will reject her based on a perceived loss of virginity.
I’m so glad my mom got out of there.
JATL
February 23rd, 2011
10:30 am
@really -good for you that one of those juicy pads never fell out when you were going for a layup! That happened to a girl in one of my P.E. classes. You were fortunate to be involved in an activity where you did get to wear shorts, but pads and leotards or bathing suits don’t mix.
iRun
February 23rd, 2011
10:31 am
Oh, considering who my mom married (uh, my dad, who she’s still married to 43 years later), my grandmother worried for nothing. The way my dad’s personality is…I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t have noticed or cared whether or not my mom was a virgin, perceived or otherwise.
JATL
February 23rd, 2011
10:40 am
Interesting tampon tidbit -tampons were first used in ancient Egypt and ancient Greece. In France, rolls of cotton were used to help plug bullet wounds and that use also made it into our Civil War. I think the first manufactured tampon for menstrual use went on the market in the 30s.
JOD
February 23rd, 2011
10:55 am
@iRun – SO funny I almost wet myself! Maybe I should run to Publix and get a box of mattresses with wings just in case :o)
@JATL – I’ve always wondered how Teflon sticks to pans, and those heat-resistant tiles stick to the space shuttle, but the ’sticky’ on pads only seems to adhere to skin and not clothing?????
JOD
February 23rd, 2011
10:56 am
@JATL – I’m seeing an interesting McGyver episode where he treats a wounded comrade and the poor schlep says, “Hey, what’s that string for?”
iRun
February 23rd, 2011
10:58 am
I think the issue here is: If I let my daughter wear tampons then that means she has to touch herself and she might like it. She might like it a lot. And then she might let someone else touch her. Maybe someone she feels safe with, like her boyfriend.
And, man, that’s the WORST thing in the world, isn’t it?
Linda Wade
February 23rd, 2011
11:01 am
My mother (I’m a child of the 50’s and 60’s)refused to even discuss tampons. That was a product no one EVER discussed if they were “good” girls! When I was old enough to buy my own I bought them. What a relief! I had two daughters and they made their own decisions on which product to use. I have two granddaughters now and I’m sure their moms will let them make their own choice.
Techmom
February 23rd, 2011
11:01 am
My mom is the one who told me to use tampons after I complained about not being able to go swimming b/c I was on my cycle (12 years old). She had a hysterectomy when I was young so she never kept anything in the house. She promptly went out and bought me a box. Took me a couple of times to figure it out but it comes with instructions. I never wore pads after that (until I had my son and didn’t have a choice for a few weeks). I don’t ever keep pads in the house. My husband’s family absolutely does not believe in them though. I was shocked when his aunt (she’s only 10 years older than me) was at our house a couple of years ago and asked if I had a pad. I told her I only had tampons and she said, “Oh nevermind, I better run to the store.” Ick.
iRun
February 23rd, 2011
11:06 am
OMG, I mean, I’m glad I don’t bleed at all anymore but it hasn’t been so long since I did…I’m a marathon runner. Can you imagine trying to run 26.2 miles with a pad on? That is a recipe for DISASTER – leaking, blood running down legs, MASSIVE chafing.
Kate
February 23rd, 2011
11:06 am
Looking back, there are a few pivotal events that I can honestly say changed the course of my life forever: meeting my husband, becoming a mother and the day I discovered the miracle that is Tampax tampons. For the first few years of my menstruating (or menu-straiting as my MIL calls it) life, I suffered through those vile, poorly designed and probably male-invented pads. My mom didn’t have any objections to tampons, she just didn’t use them herself so it never occurred to her to mention them to me. After MANY embarrassing accidents and countless pairs of ruined underwear, I received a free sample of tampons in the mail. It just so happened that my Aunt Flow was in town for a visit that day so I immediately tore into the little box, hastily read the instructions and put the cork in the bottle. HALLELUJAH! One of the best things that ever happened to me.
Years later when I was pregnant and I saw girl parts during my ultrasound the first thought that ran through my mind was “Oh crap, this means I’ll have to have “The Talk” with her someday”. Believe me, when that day comes, that talk will begin with me pulling out a box of tampons!
really
February 23rd, 2011
11:07 am
@iRun, you are having WAY too much fun with this topic! hahaha
Lady Strange
February 23rd, 2011
11:07 am
What about menstrual cups? What’s everyone’s opinion on those? I prefer them myself to both pads (nasty) and tampons. Not sure if they recommend a certain age to use them though.
iRun
February 23rd, 2011
11:16 am
@really, yes, yes I am. I admit it. I guess because I had such a pragmatic mom. I mean, she is Catholic and was all about waiting until marriage but she also approached it as a health topic. And I know from her that these misconceptions existed when SHE was a teenager 50 years ago, and from my own experience I remember they STILL existed when I was a teenager…uh…twentysomething years ago. And to hear this now???
I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. Some of the girls who thought this when I was a teenager are the mothers of teenage girls…so OF COURSE they’re passing it on to the daughters of the 21st century.
As the mother of a son, I am trying very hard to instill in him that sexuality =/= morality. Not just for himself, but for the girls/women he knows. I ever hear him call a girl a slut and he’s gonna get a boot up his butt.
Sure, I want him to experience sex as an act of love and intimacy, and I think the advice of waiting until you’re old enough to handle the consequences is a good thing to throw out. But I aint’ throwing the baby out with the bathwater…we’ll also talk about how people who are very promiscuous usually have emotional problems and are putting themselves at further public health, medical health, and mental health risk, and he might want to proceed with caution.
DB
February 23rd, 2011
11:17 am
Omigod, is this ol’ chestnut still even a consideration?!?! I thought it had died out years ago!
My mother wouldn’t allow me to wear tampons – said they were “too messy” (although how they could be MORE messy, I’m sure I don’t know.) A couple of years later, we had our last water skiing trip of the summer. Guess what — of course I started my period. What?! No skiing for another nine months??? NOOOOOO! (Plus everyone would know why I wasn’t skiing, which was FAR worse.) My practical girlfriend was with me, and said, very matter-of-factly, “Oh, just go buy some tampons.” I was shocked (what? disobey my mother?!) but I wanted to go skiing more, so we slipped down to the campground store and bought a box.
You have not lived until you are 14 years old and are in the bathroom closet of a camper, trying to figure out how to insert a tampon, hoping your mother doesn’t come back from the beach, with your best friend outside the door giving “helpful” advice!
But I was hooked after that — the freedom, not having to wear that damn belt (this was before pads with adhesive!). After a couple of months, I went to my mother and explained that I really wanted to use tampons. Turns out that the reason she was against them was that she had never found one that work for her in the 1940’s, so her assumption was that they were all “messy”. So from then on, it was tampons.
When my daughter was ready, we talked about the pros and cons. She ended up trying one, then the other, and finally settled on the combination that was comfortable for her. At no time did I ever equate a tampon with losing her virginity, and honestly, I can’t even begin to fathom that kind of thinking. A virgin is someone who has not had sexual intercourse – end of definition. So, if a doctor does a pelvic examination and she has not had intercourse — does that mean she’s not a virgin anymore? Does any woman who has used a tampon honestly think that letting a girl use a tampon is going to give her “impure thoughts”?
I don’t see how a tampon in the vagina is any more “invasive” than a popsicle in the mouth, but I’m sure some people will have some sort of lascivious reaction to that, too. It’s a freakin’ VAGINA, folks — no big mystery, at least, it shouldn’t be. It’s a part of a woman’s body. Just because it’s not hangin’ out there flapping in the breeze like men’s so-called “private” parts doesn’t make it sacred.
Besides, I was intrigued when I heard that some medics in the military use tampons in an emergency to insert in bullet wounds to slow bleeding . . . :-)
Techmom
February 23rd, 2011
11:18 am
@Lady Strange – never heard of such thing until now. How long do you leave it in? Do you just wash it out? Seems a little gross to me (I don’t like handling used tampons just to remove them and this thing requires washing???)
JATL
February 23rd, 2011
11:21 am
@JOD -I know? What’s up with that? The sticky stuff on children’s stickers can never be removed from mirrors, books, furniture, etc. without a massive amount of “Goo Off” but they can’t make a pantyliner or pad that truly sticks to fabric?
@iRun -I’ve never worked up to a marathon, but even several miles would be miserable with a pad! Yes, your description of a marathon with one is pretty dead-on! NIGHTMARE!
@JOD -Two McGyver-esque moments in my life -my college roommate had a car wreck and they put a “medical tampon” in one side of her nose. The nurse told her to “just use a Tampax” when she needed to change it that night! And, er, back in our younger and wilder days, my hubby used a Tampax applicator to fashion a bong-like device in an “emergency.” I called him McGyver for a long time after that!
Ally
February 23rd, 2011
11:22 am
Hey all, I’m late to the game, but I prefer a mix of the two (tampons on heavy days and pads on light days — gotta let things air out on the light days of course). I’ll explain it all to my girls when the time comes and let them decide. It was many years after I started using tampons that I started having sex, and the two are not related. I’d rather my girls know that they have options in case their friends decide it’s their business what my kids are doing with their personal business and they should figure out what works best for them.
iRun
February 23rd, 2011
11:25 am
I will admit that my own squick-i-defense radar wouldn’t let me get comfortable with applicator-less tampons or the cups. I get that blood on my fingers and then I’m washing my hands all OCD-like all day. But, that’s just my own little thing and I certainly recognize it as my own little hang-up that I wouldn’t want to pass on to a daughter. I certainly like the concept of applicator-less tampons and cups.
Denise
February 23rd, 2011
11:29 am
I learned about tampons from my aunt who felt sorry for me when I was visiting and everyone else was swimming. It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. I was a little traumatized from watching my mom and her sister “help” my cousin put in one the first time. I started a few months later (at age 10) so that stuck with me. Now I use both. Sometimes at the same time. My doctor promised me that my cycle would lighten up with these new pills and she LIED!!
Oh, the tampon story is not the end of my period trauma. Remember I said I was TEN. I didn’t know what was happening so I kept changing underwear. My mom found all of my panties in the hamper and explained to me what was happening. Clearly I was not comfortable with asking her questions. Well, I was at my grandmother’s during the great discovery so I was forced to use my granny’s OLD AS DIRT pads that she had in the closet from President Lincoln’s era…you know, the ones with the BELT. Except the belt wasn’t in the box so they pinned a strand of ELASTIC around my waist and safety pinned the pad on it. THEN, as if having what felt like a twin sized mattress in my undies wasn’t enough, they made me WALK to the store to get my own supplies. This was back in the Stayfree mini-pad era where they were in the biggest BOX ever. So yeah, I didn’t get a great “start”. To make it worse…they told my GRANDFATHER I was a “young lady now” and he came home with every type of pad, panty-liner, tampon, etc. and handed it to me with a flourish and said “your granny told me you were a young lady now so I figured you’d need these”, or some such foolishness. Now that I think about it, I’m going to call my Mama today and tell her I’m still traumatized. LOL
JATL
February 23rd, 2011
11:32 am
@LadyStrange and iRun -I’m into the applicators myself and just don’t like the idea of trying to get the menstrual cup or an OB style tampon where it needs to go! However, I have a good friend who uses the cup and LOVES it. She thinks it’s the greatest thing since sliced bread, so I know some people really like them. If I had a daughter I would certainly include those in the “options” category when telling her about taking care of business.
In a related note -ladies, when you’re in a public restroom, if you get anything on your hands, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE use some toilet paper to wipe it off before opening the stall door. I’ve almost puked TWICE in the last month after entering a stall, hanging up my purse and sitting down to realize there was dried blood all over the latch area of the stall door. In all of my years this hasn’t ever been an issue before -and now twice in one month? Once at a movie theater and once at The Ferst Center -disgusting! Talk about OCD hand-washing…My hands are RAW.
iRun
February 23rd, 2011
11:33 am
Denise, if you’re really bleeding too much…so much that you’re flooding a tampon and a pad together, and you think you’re don’t having kids…talk to your OBGYN about endometrial ablation, specifically the Novasure procedure. It has literally changed my life for the better.
BTW, I think the part about your grandfather buying all that stuff for you sounds rather sweet. I know that age 10 you are SO private about your body that it had to be completely mortifying (I know I was like that) but, really, how considerate of you he was.
iRun
February 23rd, 2011
11:34 am
“think you’re *done* having kids”
more typos from the peanut gallery…
iRun
February 23rd, 2011
11:35 am
It’s funny how I get all grossed out by getting period blood on my hands but when my son was an infant I could have baby poop and spit up all over me and I didn’t care.
Maybe because I was too exhausted?
JATL
February 23rd, 2011
11:43 am
@iRun -I know -I just had poop all over my hand and arm this morning from my youngest, and that was not optimum, but not vomit-inducing. I don’t freak out if I happen to get some of my own blood on my hands -although I don’t want to “invite” the circumstance, but if it’s some else’s -NO NO NO NO NO!
Lisa Elifritz
February 23rd, 2011
11:51 am
My 20 year old daughter died of Toxic Shock Syndrome from a Playtex regular tampon this June.It was HORRIBLE!! Two months later a girl that was in a class with her in college got TSS too! Because of our warnings about symptoms to look for she sought early treatment and made it. Three other friends of mine had daughters that also got TSS from tampons, Two of them died, one lived by the grace of God. She has had part of her toes amputated from gangrene. These young girls don’t have the antibodies for the toxins produced by S aureus bacteria when it comes in contact with the rayon in the tampons. 100% cotton tampons are the ONLY tampons safe for women under 30.
Her
February 23rd, 2011
12:02 pm
@ “A” no, I am not your mother or……..am I? ;)
@ “Really” you are not alone, I too ONLY use maxi-pads. safest & cleanest
iRun
February 23rd, 2011
12:05 pm
@Her, they’re not safest or cleanest when you’re out for a run…or any other prolonged physical activity.
Jane
February 23rd, 2011
12:14 pm
There’s no reason to let young girls use tampons, I’m of the opinion that if you educate your daughters about menstrual health/vaginal health and menstrual options they’d not want to use tampons to begin with. It’s not just TSS but also infections, increased cramps and potential long-term risks from toxins in commercial tampons – bear in mind younger women are at far higher risk – this also makes tampons more inconvenient because they have to be changed every 4-6 hours, can’t be used with light flow or overnight, can’t be used before menstruation, have to be alternated with pads, and they have to worry about disposal, etc.
My daughter uses a menstrual cup, she can wear them for any time up to 12 hours, with no risk of TSS or infections, they lessen her cramps, she can wear overnight or before her period to avoid mess, she can go all day at school without worrying about changing, disposal or carrying spares, also without risk of leaking. If you even suggested tampons to her she’d object, she has never used them and would never want to use them because she knows exactly how unhealthy and unhygienic they are – why would she want to use something that’s not only unhealthy and unhygienic but also that are uncomfortable, really inconvenient, and unreliable?!
Tad Jackson
February 23rd, 2011
12:27 pm
Lordy, Theresa! Hurry up with that dad-friendly story!
http://www.adixiediary.xom
iRun
February 23rd, 2011
12:27 pm
@Jane, why not avail of all options?
Your information regarding TSS is a bit overblown. They’re not unhealthy or unhygenic and your saying so (1) doesn’t make it true, and (2) only validates those people who think pads are better.
That being said, I applaud that you’re introducing your daughter to the latest in feminine hygiene products.
I don’t understand how they lessen cramps, though. Cramping is due to the uterine muscles working to shed the menstrual tissue. How does a cup figure in that process?
usually lurking
February 23rd, 2011
12:29 pm
@iRun – You are cracking me up!
@JATL – EEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWW! I think I’d have to take a shower and throw away my clothes too. :-)
My mom made me carry a pad and belt around in my purse starting when I was 11 – just in case. I didn’t start until I was 14. I have sons, and I’m really surprised to hear from them how open their female friends are about being on their periods. Apparently it is a monthly lunchroom conversation. As a teenager, I would have been mortified for a boy to know it was that time of the month.
Kate
February 23rd, 2011
12:31 pm
I’ve never heard of a “menstrual cup” before today, but my first thought is they might want re-think the name.
BTW, where the heck are Jarvis, Photius, Shaggy and Tiger today? I can’t believe they have nothing to add to this conversation!
LM
February 23rd, 2011
12:37 pm
Kind of on topic, has anyone noticed how expensive girl products have become??? I usually buy when it is on sale so I stocked up some time ago. But when I went a few weeks ago, I was shocked, it seemed the price was double. I since checked several stores and the prices were pretty much the same.
I’ve seen the cups, but my daughter said her friend had one more the shape of a thimble. Been looking but have not seen one shaped like a thimble.
After the birth of my daughter I had discomfort with tampons until I tried OB, they seem shorter and dont seem to stab like the others did.
Louise
February 23rd, 2011
12:45 pm
That’s a point…in the US there does seem to be some strange squeamishness about touching down there during menstruation – your vagina is cleaner than your mouth, your menstrual blood is not toxic waste, get over it! If your daughter has those sort of body-issues then she has gotten them from you, and it’s your job to raise your daughters not to have that sort of body-fear/body-issues. These are the exact sort of issues that tampon manufacturers use to get women buying their products, and not questioning the health risks of using such products or of the manufacturing.
Denise
February 23rd, 2011
12:47 pm
iRun, unfortunately I don’t have any kids yet (YET! I hope); I just like reading this blog.
And yes, Papa was the sweetest man on the planet. He was just trying to help but I wanted to melt into the floor. LOLLLLLLL
Lady Strange
February 23rd, 2011
12:49 pm
Well the cups are normally marketed under their brand name, Mooncup, Diva Cup, etc. But yeah menstrual cup does sound quite unappealing. Not that tampon sounds much better really. But yes you just wash them out and they can also be sterilized with boiling water. Can wear them up to 12 hours, overnight, no problems.
iRun
February 23rd, 2011
12:50 pm
@Louise, I totally agree. I mean, I have that squeamishness about menstrual blood but I totally recognize that it’s a hangup. If I had a daughter I’d work hard not to pass that onto her.
That being said, I’m all for options. I know some women who just don’t like the cups. For some reason or another, the way their specific anatomy is…wearing those cups makes them feel like they constantly have to pee. And, some women never get the hang of removing them without making a mess, which can be a bit problematic in public. Lastly, you know how some women claim they never got used to tampons because they could ALWAYS feel them in there? I never understood that because you don’t have a ton of nerves that high up, but apparently some women can feel the cup and can’t ever get comfortable with it.
So, I’m all about options, even the pad.
I’m just not about this whole idea that wearing a tampon, or cup, is “invasive” or somehow related to sex/virginity/morality.
iRun
February 23rd, 2011
12:55 pm
@Denise, well, if you want kids then endometrial ablation is NOT for you as it will pretty much sterilize you. It’s a procedure where you damage the endometrium using a variety of methods (you electrocute it with Novasure), it scars up and is no longer able to form menstrual tissues and is no longer hospitable to a fertilized egg.
Sounds pretty traumatic, doesn’t it? It’s not all that painful. It’s outpatient. But why would anyone do it? Because it’s a way to deal with pathologically heavy periods without a hysterectomy. It’s always better to keep your organs while still alive, not to mention it’s outpatient, unlike a hysterectomy.
Sure it’s drastic but if you’re done having kids but you’re sick and tired of 18 day periods…it’s a blessing.
Jane
February 23rd, 2011
12:57 pm
@IRun
My information on TSS is not overblown – neither is my information about other health risks, as tampons are well-known as being a major cause of vaginal infections, they account for 70% of all TSS cases, and as such they are also the only options to have lead to death or long-term health complications. Tampons ARE unhealthy – saying so doesn’t make it true, but a basic understanding of vaginal anatomy and function, countless medical research, plus living examples do show this to be true – trust me, you can see the difference between a tampon user and a women who doesn’t use tampons, they do have long-term effect on the vagina. Tampons encourage bacterial growth, effect vaginal pH by keeping flow in contact with the vagina, lose fibres, damage vaginal walls through drying so cause ulceration and splitting, prevent vaginal cleaning and commercial brands are chemically treated – consider the dioxin scandal of the 90’s, there are still serious concerns over chemicals and bleaching processes used and there are still levels of dioxin present in tampons which are posing a concern…if sensitivity or allergy to chemicals isn’t enough of a factor.
Menstrual cups can reduce cramps in comparison to tampons because they’re not absorbent and thus don’t ‘tug’ on vaginal walls nor do they expand into the cervix, they are thought to help alleviate cramps in their own right by promoting vaginal health and due to suction. Many things can help cramps, they don’t necessarily have to counter-act the main cause of cramps to be of value.
Her
February 23rd, 2011
1:19 pm
@ Jane: TEAM JANE !!
@iRun: yes…actually, they are. pads are flexible, conform to your condition
and pads are easier for young girls too.
Techmom
February 23rd, 2011
1:28 pm
@Jane – where are you getting your information? I’ve never heard that tampons were harmful (other than TSS which I’ve never known anyone to ever have).
Tina
February 23rd, 2011
2:04 pm
Thankful for my hysterectomy. Just wish I’d had it the day I had my last child. All this brings back the memories of why I wanted it before I needed it.
iRun
February 23rd, 2011
2:11 pm
@Jane, while 70% of TSS cases can be attributed to tampons this says absolutely nothing about the prevalence of TSS in tampon users. The last known data on the annual incidence is 1-2/100,000 women 15-44 years of age.
Your information, while factually correct, completely overblows the risk of health problems associated with tampons.
And I still don’t get how they prevent cramps. Your explanation defies biology. Cramps are caused by uterine contractions. In order to reduce cramping you’d need to reduce the strength and/or frequency of these contractions. The best way to do that is to eliminate your period (hysterectomy, endometrial ablation, birth control pills). But the most common way is to use an NSAID. Another “natural” way is to exercise because physical activity helps to release endorphins.
But your explanation regarding absorption makes zero sense and sounds like holistic non-sense.
And, hey, I’m all about holistic solutions. And I’ve definitely pro-cup. But to go around disparaging tampons or pads to point of making people think they’re not a good option at all is simply irresponsible.
@Jane, you’re full of it. Pads so don’t conform to your condition. If they did they’d never leak out the sides. Conform to your condition sounds like what a cup or tampon does. Here’s an experiment…wear your favorite pad and go run 10 miles. Tell me how it works out for you.
iRun
February 23rd, 2011
2:34 pm
Oops, sorry, that last one shouldn’t be @Jane…it should be @Her. My sincerest apologies to Jane. While I disagree with you regarding your “only cup” philosophy and I think you have your risk awareness a bit off…I don’t think you’re full of it like Her is…
JATL
February 23rd, 2011
2:52 pm
@Jane -I always wear tampons and have for years. I wear them overnight as well and started using them at age 12. I’ve never had TSS (which is EXTREMELY rare), and I think the last time I had any type of vaginal or yeast infection was in 1997. No cramps either! You can also buy the natural, non-bleached variety at natural food stores.
Denise
February 23rd, 2011
2:59 pm
iRun, I definitely don’t need to be sterilized yet! I’m getting up there in age so I want to have a baby or two soon (would help if I could get in a stable relationship). But it is a good thing to talk to my doctor about. Fortunately my flow is only very heavy one or two days – needing both pad and tampon – but other than that i just use a pad. yeah, they are kind of yucky but it’s just easier to deal with without having to worry about leakage. It was horrible when I played volleyball (those shorts!!!) so I was happy to have tampons and panty liners to fall back on.
All that being said, I think it’s appropriate for the MOTHER (biological, step, mother figure, etc.) to talk to her daughter about the use of tampons to help her make the decision. Lord knows you don’t want to trust your daughter’s FRIENDS to give her her instruction and introduction.
Cammi317
February 23rd, 2011
4:24 pm
I tried to use one of those cups one day, but I must inserted it wrong. Didn’t work for 5 minutes. I forgot to mention earlier that in addition to wearing the giant Stayfree pads back in the day, my mother insisted that I had to wear a girdle during that time of the month to hold the pad in place. I never had in “incidents” so I guess it worked, but it was sure uncomfortable. I envy people with short and/or light cycles. I am on the 6-7 day term every 23-25 days. It sucks, royally. To make it worse I flow so heavily that I have to wear a Super Plus Tampon and an Ultra Thin Overnight Pad at the same time for 3-4 of those days. The only upside I can see is that I only cramp 2-3 times a year for about a day….
JOD
February 23rd, 2011
4:32 pm
So I am a total rube – I had to go look up the cup. I have to admit I’m interested…just not sure if I’m interested enough to try it. I am glad to know there is another option – thanks to those who brought it up.
motherjanegoose
February 23rd, 2011
5:48 pm
WOW…you guys were busy today.
@ Denise…I loved your story.
@ DB yes…the belts with clips and pads …those were the days…LOL. I remember coaching my sister, through the closed bedroom door, on how to insert her first tampon. My mother was not home.
I know nothing about the cup and do not plan to explore as I am hoping these days are limited, at 51!
@Jane…I too have worn tampons for years…now that I have counted about 36 and never had a problem nor any lecture from my Gyno and I have been in their office for lots of visits. Not sure on this one.
I cannot stand pads …gross to me.
Old Sandra but with a new carpet
February 23rd, 2011
6:32 pm
I’m actually relieved to see this topic. It is one that I have been thinking about as I have two girls. I personally use pads as when I tried tampons when I was younger they didn’t work. I have also learned something new as I have never heard of the cup. I think that I will give my daughters options so that they can choose what is right for them. BTW, my mom never talked to me about periods and I was completely shocked when I first got mine.
Enemas for Christ
February 23rd, 2011
8:46 pm
God dammit
socrates
February 25th, 2011
10:44 am
guess it all depends on how much they push it in and pull it out