Top 10 reasons this lady hates your kids: Do you hate other people’s kids?

A quick item before I run to the gym! My friend posted this on her FAcebook page last night. It’s a blog from a mom on The Stir about basically why she hates other people’s kids. She identifies herself at the top of the blog as Scary Mommy – which helps explain the topic.

Click here to read the full list but here are a few of her items:

They spread illness.

They teach bad habits and are a bad influence.

They are filthy.

Loud.

Incomprehensible.

I think kids can be all these things, but I don’t hate them. I don’t even dislike them. They are just kids. I am wondering if other parents dislike other people’s kids as much as this lady?

43 comments Add your comment

JJ

December 29th, 2010
11:56 am

I had a friend, who’s child I could NOT stand. My daughter couldn’t stand to be around her either. She was loud, rude, demanding, would interrupt adults all the time.

Her parents SPOILED her rotten, gave her EVERYTHING she ever asked for. She DEMANDED to be the center of attention if there were more than 3 people in the room. She would yell at her mother to shut up so she could talk. When they would have parties, this child would scream, stomp, yell at all the adults in the room to shut up, so she could put on a play.

I am no longer friends with this woman, due to her child.

Now, my neighbors are raising a brat. Mom and Dad, mom has a daughter from a previous relationship. Daughter, 20, has a 2 year old. They all live together. Mom,. and 20 year old do not work, refuse to get a job, etc. The child is rotten. There is NO discipline, no structure in this child’s live. It drives me crazy to hear a two year old say “NO” when told to do something. She ignores the adults, and there’s no consequences to her behavior. No structured meal times, no nap time, just whatever she wants to do she does it. If you sit and tell her no, she looks at you, dares you to do something, and does what she has been told not to do. Again, no consequences. I was thinking the other night, this child will be 3 in a few months, and in about 15 years, she will be pregnant. What a waste of a life……

So when my neighbor comes over to seek refuge at my house, I tell her, you need to give that child structure. and consequences to her behaior, and she flat out tells me NO, I’m not going to do that. WTH??? THen don’t come over to my house and complain about your granddaughter.

My father gave me the best piece of advice when my daughter was about 1. He said “Do not allow her to control you, you are the parent, she is the child”…..

And Dr. Phil (again), says – you are not raising a child, you are raising an adult!!!

Debby

December 29th, 2010
11:56 am

I don’t hate other people’s children, but I don’t have any interest in them either. My own are all I want to deal with.

JJ

December 29th, 2010
11:58 am

Oh, and the neighbor kid drinks sodas and eats candy all day long. Nothing nutritional goes into that kids mouth. It just drives me crazy.

AND they let her stay up until 11, 12, or whenever she falls asleep…….that child runs their house.

Ok, I’m done.

JOD

December 29th, 2010
12:34 pm

JJ, I don’t think I could let that neighbor in my house or associate with her! Sounds like you have a train wreck next door! I heard a saying once, ‘If you don’t do a good job raising your kids, you will get another chance – raising your grandkids.’

I don’t dislike other kids in general, but I do see kids interacting with others that I don’t like specifically. Usually this means they are pushing smaller kids or acting bratty somehow. As an example, there is an older girl in my daughter’s class who ignores her whenever DD tries to engage her (as far as I have seen – a couple of times). My daughter is shy, so it is a GRRR moment for me to see this happen. If I’m around, I just direct DD elsewhere (e.g. another classmate) or watch as she go on to the next thing. I’m sure I’ll get blasted as a helicopter mom, but this was at a birthday party where all of the parents were there. And frankly, I don’t care. DD can learn to stick up for herself and avoid kids like this later, but for now, Mama’s gonna help her out when she needs it. *End rant*

For the most part, kids I see are just trying to figure out how to act around others, and are usually very sweet.

JOD

December 29th, 2010
12:35 pm

Sorry – ‘goes’ on to the next thing.

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mom2alex&max

December 29th, 2010
1:21 pm

For the most part, no, I don’t care much for other people’s kids. There are some kids that I ADORE as if they were my own, but not many. Most of them I have known since birth due to friendships with their parents.

But for the most part, kids are obnoxious and I don’t care much for them. My own are just about all I can deal with.

Techmom

December 29th, 2010
1:51 pm

I don’t particularly care for little kids regardless of who they belong to. I love my son like crazy but did the happy dance as soon as he was out of pre-school so I didn’t feel obligated to volunteer in the church nursery anymore and was thrilled when he reached the age of about 10 when he started to really become his own person and add to the relationship. I’m sure I’m coming off as rude or selfish even though I’m not but young kids require so much attention, that I don’t particularly enjoy them. It’s more of a chore than a relationship in my mind. That being said, I volunteer every week with the middle school group at church and have for years. But at that age, they are beginning to form their own thoughts, determine their beliefs and values, etc. and I enjoy having conversations with them and getting them to think as well as playing silly games. So no I don’t dislike other people’s kids generally, but I certainly do not enjoy being around the young ones and I’m guessing the mother of this blog is referring to the young ones as well.

P.S. God Bless all of you pre-school and elementary teachers!

DB

December 29th, 2010
2:05 pm

There’s a reason God didn’t make me a pre-school teacher!

I have always preferred working with older kids — Scouts for 13 years, middle-school-aged Sunday School, etc. And I LOVE working with teenagers, they are sorting life out and have so many choices in front of the, I think it’s fascinating to watch them pick and choose.

motherjanegoose

December 29th, 2010
2:24 pm

I LOVE kids….mine and everyone else’s. BUT there are kids I do not like and typically, the reason is their parents….along the same line as JJ’s neighbor.

My daughter sometimes watches our neighbor’s son and has since he was 3 or 4. He is 9 now. We had errands to run and he packed along with us yesterday. He went out to lunch with us. He is so much fun to get into a conversation….we crack up at him. He is teaching my daughter to play chess now, as he got it for Christmas.

Sometimes I have taken other peoples kids out with me, just to get an ice cream or something when Mom needed a break. I even took our other neighbor’s son to Elementary School to eat lunch with my daughter. This was years ago, when he was in Preschool.

One rule, I visit schools all the time to do on site programs for children. I WILL NOT do birthday parties. I had someone offer me $600. No way! I am perfectly comfortable with teachers handling their classes of children. I am NOT comfortable with parents who cannot manage their kids and others but have paid me, so they expect me to make the children behave. Oh no…that is a skill they should have learned before today. I would rather donate a FREE show to Kindergarteners ( and I do this sometimes) than get paid at a birthday party.

FCM

December 29th, 2010
2:45 pm

I like my kids…I tolerate yours is I believe how the saying goes.

In general I think kids are some of the coolest creatures to observe and interact with…the way their minds work–the imagination and the logic–is facinating. You can learn from them and teach them.

That being said sure there are kids I cannot stand. The toddler screaming in store or restaurant who’s parent refuses to take them away from the establishment. My friend’s child who definately runs her mother ragged with 100 demands a minute, insist we do it her way or she throws a fit, and constantly asks her mother what I am saying in phone calls—tell the child it is none of her freaking business already. The child who mistreats his parents when he/she grows up and moves out. Then there are the ones who’s personality and mine don’t mesh–of course it happens.

To paraphrase DB “There is a reason I am not a school teacher. Unlike most of my female family that went into teaching!” I do however tutor, mentor, and teach Sunday School.

motherjanegoose

December 29th, 2010
2:54 pm

@ FCM…I like this kid, a neighbor’s son with the perfect SAT score. When he was smaller, we took him the movies with us. The Mom did not like going to the movies and he went with us to see something that just came out. I am driving along and ask the kids ( mine are in the car too) where we should go for lunch first. I suggest several fast food places. He pipes in, “I…. want to eat at Mc Donald’s.” My kids know I do not like Mc Donald’s but I concede, to be polite. The child orders a Happy Meal, a chocolate shake, and a Diet Coke. We sit down. He slides the Diet Coke to me. I look puzzled.He says, ” I always order this and my Mom drinks the Diet Coke.”
( I NEVER DRINK DIET COKE…NOT MUCH REGULAR EITHER…DB you should have been there!)

Being with other people’s kids sheds a lot of light on how different families are. He was an only child and perhaps not used to the banter of siblings when deciding where to eat. He is a great young man now and I admire his intellect! Being around different kids is fascinating to me!

CDD

December 29th, 2010
3:05 pm

I read that list before & thought it was quite funny. I’m sure it wasn’t written to be taken completely literally but there’s still a lot of truth there.

I love my kids, even with all their “quirks.” I generally like other children if they behave themselves but the ones that don’t I can do without & they will not be welcome here unless &/or until they clean up their act. There are a few kids that aren’t mine that I enjoy being around, but there’s not that many of them around anymore. Kids learn from their parents and surroundings, and most of those are so selfish and have an entitlement attitude. It’s no wonder kids are more messed up nowadays.

I do think parents that can volunteer (in church, school, clubs, whatever) should help out since their child is involved too. When my son was in scouts, I was in a leadership position. When my kids were in school I tried to help out when I could. Since we’ve recently changed the church we attend I’m planning on volunteering there too in the children’s department.

And some children do actually have issues that make it harder for them to act like they should. My son has Asperger’s and doesn’t understand much sarcasm or how to act socially. When he was in public school I remember getting a call from the principal saying he had pat another kid on the behind. I know I do that with my kids in fun sometimes as they’re passing by me (not hard) but I never thought to tell my son that it wouldn’t be appropriate to do at school.

jarvis

December 29th, 2010
3:46 pm

That Mean Mom chick isn’t funny. She’s trying really hard to be…and that’s the problem.

If you have to TRY to be funny, you aren’t.

As for the rest of you, most of your responses are too long. No one is reading it. If you’ve put more down that TWG’s entire piece, you need to get a grip on your self-worth.

motherjanegoose

December 29th, 2010
3:51 pm

@jarvis….thanks for your unput.

Some of us have been hanging around here for a long time…4-5 years… and can be a bit wordy. I write and talk for a living.

Here is my tip for you: skip the long posts if you do not like them…we are good with it.

1911A1

December 29th, 2010
4:01 pm

It would appear that it’s not really the kids that get on our nerves, it’s their parents. And rightfully so.

Techmom

December 29th, 2010
4:23 pm

Thanks for stopping by Jarvis. Some of us do read each other’s lengthy comments and sometimes they’re not even on topic .

KC

December 29th, 2010
4:23 pm

If I don’t care for the parents (adults), then I usually don’t like their children. Kids learn their behavior from their parents. That’s why I am a firm believer that dysfunction and personality disorders are growing rampant in this country. There are fewer positive, living role models for kids today.

Many parents are really ruining their kids futures.

jarvis

December 29th, 2010
4:23 pm

I don’t, and I did.

jarvis

December 29th, 2010
4:35 pm

@Techmom I was trying to be tongue and cheek. I don’t comment on here often, and it is the second time my sarcasm has failed to make the point I was trying.

I’m going to pipe down.

motherjanegoose

December 29th, 2010
4:48 pm

@ jarvis…sometimes sarcasm needs to be accompanied by voice inflection,eye rolling etc. and that is hard to SEE on this blog. You get one pass….LOL…in my book. Have a good day!

@ Techmom…I’ll read yours if you read mine :)

Some posters do not get that this blog can be a like a chat over the fence and often will run in a different direction. It is not like a class with a specified learning outcome.

tc

December 29th, 2010
5:11 pm

I have a friend who has 4 kids. The youngest is so whiney. He is always whining about this or that,and he usually gets his way. If he’s at my house, my kids have to watch a movie that’s appropriate for him, keep him entertained, etc. It’s a pain. Now his brothers and sister are fine kids. It’s just the youngest. And this youngest kids never has any friends over… I’m just saying. Maybe it’s not just my family that finds him whiney – maybe other kids his age think the same thing. Oh yeah and he breaks stuff too – he’s broken several of my kids things as well as things of their friends.

newblogger

December 29th, 2010
6:42 pm

I’ve been a teacher for 23 years, so yeah, I like to be around kids. It’s funny though…when I first started teaching I loved the little kids, but as I get older I enjoy the older kids more. I teach 5th grade now and they are just about the funniest creatures out there. They crack me up on a daily basis. It’s really interesting to talk to them and see what and how they are thinking. Some days I’m the one who learns something. When it is time to put in requests for the next school year I find myself praying “Please God, do NOT let them send me back to Kindergarten!”

catlady

December 29th, 2010
6:45 pm

As a teacher, I enjoy 95% of the kids at my school (to whatever degree I have contact with them.) That leaves about 15 that I do NOT enjoy. Why–because they have taken to heart the lessons their parents have apparently gone to great length to teach them. Quite a few have had poor lessons from their parents, but they might be saved. The 15 will be in juvie or alternative school in 6th grade.

Many kids have annoying tendencies due mostly to non-parenting. I can get by that, and try to teach them attitudes, skills, and beliefs that will help them be productive members of society.

As to my children’s friends: I liked most of their close friends very much. Any that they brought home that were too much trouble or were annoying were never invited back. A couple went home early. My home, my rules.

I have had times when I laughed at a child. When, for example, they tried to give my child permission to misbehave because they said so. I disabused them quickly of the notion that they were in charge. (I have had to do the same thing with some children at school as well).

MJG: “specified learning outcome” Haha! My elder daughter took me aside, when she was a junior in high school and I was working on my dissertation, and apparently soliciting the friends’ ideas about college attendance (the subject I was researching) a bit too enthusiastically, to tell me, “EVERYTHING and EVERYONE is not a research project, Mom!”

catlady

December 29th, 2010
6:57 pm

Make it 97%. My math is faulty. But I rarely get to work much with the highest-functioning kids. I imagine some of them are quite annoying.

Some of my very “best” (ie, brought up in a common-sense way) have immigrant parents.

motherjanegoose

December 29th, 2010
8:16 pm

@newblogger….27 years in and I LOVE KINDERGARTEN. to me: 5th-8th grade = THE HORMONE HOUSE!

Before my daughter was driving and I would be the chauffeuer ( sp?) I would look in the rear view mirror and ask the girls all sorts of questions. My daughter would moan, “MOM these are my friends and they do NOT want to engage in a conversation with YOU!”: SIGH….I liked talking to them.

hugs catlady!

catlady ad naseum

December 29th, 2010
8:29 pm

“Some of my very “best” (ie, brought up in a common-sense way) have immigrant parents.”

Ah, yes … because ALL white parents are so trashy.

motherjanegoose

December 29th, 2010
8:41 pm

AHEM, I am a white parent and can assure you that catlady does not find me trashy.
So ALL does not fit in this case…try again.

Trust me on this one ( or not) ..catlady has seen and experienced things you and I have not.
She does not base her opinions on 12 kids that live on one block in suburban Atlanta.

irisheyes

December 29th, 2010
9:00 pm

I do like some people’s children, while others I could do without. In terms of my kids, I know for a fact that my middle child is not a favorite of people. He’s got a mild case of Aspergers, so he’s VERY difficult to be to around sometime. But, having him has taught me not to judge other people’s children quite as harshly. There are times when my son looks spoiled and undisciplined, but it’s often because he’s having sensory overload with no way to express his frustrations. I’m waiting for the reward that I know I’m going to get when he turns 18. :)

catlady

December 29th, 2010
9:06 pm

Not all, naseum, but here in Appalachia, quite a few are NOT very commonly common-sense. They do things like put coke in the baby’s bottle, or let their 5th grader stay up all night playing video games on a school night with “mama’s newest boyfriend.” Or build a meth lab in the middle of town (newspaper headline).

Perhaps not what you would see in AECC (Affluent East Cobb County). Can’t comment on what I haven’t seen.

jan

December 29th, 2010
9:15 pm

I read her top ten reasons. I just LOVED (sarcasm) the “my kid is perfect and your kid sucks” attitude of the snide b*tch who compiled the list… Bet her kid is an absolute brat that everyone else hates!

JATL

December 30th, 2010
1:46 am

I’m not much of a “kids in general” person. However, I do realize we were all kids at one time and I certainly do love my own and my friends’ children. I don’t hate or detest any kids overall, but I cannot abide the ill-mannered brats that seem so prevalent these days. The other day I was almost knocked down by an 8 or 9 year old girl whose grandmother just stood there and watched -never corrected her or reminded her to say, “Excuse me.” I feel like if my 2 year old has mastered saying, “Excuse me,” whenever he gets to close to someone -then an 8 year old should know how to as well. People who let their children run rampant with no correction and who never teach manners of any sort irritate me -and therefore their children irritate me. This woman’s list, though, could also describe most adults at any given bar on a Saturday night. Kids do not have the market cornered or germs, filth, loudness or bad habits. Quite honestly -if you’re looking to a child to exhibit responsibility and good habits, then you were lost from the get-go. I get that she’s being tongue-in-cheek and trying to be funny. She fell a bit short of the mark.

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newblogger

December 30th, 2010
10:15 am

@MJG-In my opinion, there is a special place in heaven for teachers of Pre-K, Kindergarten and First Grade. I think it takes a special gift to work with younger children. My mom did it for 35 years. God bless!

Mary

December 30th, 2010
10:47 am

I don’t chime in much on this blog, but the topic caught my attention. I’m a teacher and a parent, so I do enjoy (most) kids very much. My students know what I will and will not tolerate in my classroom, so not too many problems on that front.

When my son has friends over, it can be most instructive. Not too long ago, a neighbor boy was over. I have seen this kid in action many times with his parents: smart mouth, disrespectful, etc. He was on the phone with his mom asking to extend his stay (without consulting me). I chimed in that it was time for my son to do his homework. The boy then starts ordering his mother to “come pick me up RIGHT NOW!”. At this point I spoke up (rather loudly, and I do hope Mom heard me), “young man, you had BETTER NOT be speaking to your mother in that manner!”. When he hung up the phone, I told him quite bluntly that while he was in OUR house, he would speak respectfully to ALL adults. My son told him “If I talked to my parents that way, I would be in so much trouble!”.

He has not been back to visit our home.

motherjanegoose

December 30th, 2010
1:25 pm

@ Mary…kudos…each of us can be a teacher!
@newblogger…I love little kids!

redhousecat

December 30th, 2010
4:55 pm

yeah, very seldom do I even tolerate other people’s kids, much less like them. Although, for some reason, they like the heck out of me. If the kid is intelligent and well behaved, I tend to offer them more attention. Home schooled kids would be, by far, my favorite.

Chas Foster Kane

December 31st, 2010
12:35 pm

Most parents are blind idiots when it comes to “other” kids. They think their whelp is a perfect angel, spurted from the penis of godamighty, but other younguns are spawns of Satan’s loins. Hint: Your kid is a brat, too — and your friendly parent-friends hate your kid just as you despise theirs. Remove your blinders and face the truth!

Retired Vet

December 31st, 2010
1:00 pm

A simple reminder to all parents, not everyone wants to “enjoy” and “experience” your children as much as you do. Please be mindful of others and lead by example. If you want to have respect, then it must be equally given, and your children can only learn if taught. All kids are really great, but sometimes their actions can make it difficult for us to remember this…

Belle

December 31st, 2010
1:46 pm

I pretty much like all kids as long as they “try” to behave. I love my own but don’t like them sometimes, especially with the back talking my 4yr old has learned…WOW. That time out chair stays warm these days. But over all kids are kids and they all want love and attention. If there are major problems I look to the parents or just don’t go around them.
Happy New Year

Kate Bazilevsky

December 31st, 2010
2:17 pm

Actually, according to the Catalog of human population the most compatible people or soulmates are those who have their birthday on the exact same date. People with birthday on the same date are completely the same!

beebee

December 31st, 2010
2:45 pm

KC wrote:

“If I don’t care for the parents (adults), then I usually don’t like their children. Kids learn their behavior from their parents. That’s why I am a firm believer that dysfunction and personality disorders are growing rampant in this country. There are fewer positive, living role models for kids today.

Many parents are really ruining their kids futures.”

that’s a great comment KC.

I just want to add that fortunately, some kids also learn HOW NOT TO ACT because of their parents’ bad behavior. Thank God for the instincts of those kids and too bad they have to live under the duress of bad parenting.

beebee

mummyofafeistygirl

January 1st, 2011
9:31 am

In general, I like children – almost all of them. One that I did dislike would, at age 6, try to kick my elderly dog, jump on the couch, throw stuff over my fence, etc.He had all sorts of problems, however, and is now a pleasant but disorganised 18 year old. And there is a 12 year old friend of my daughter who I can’t stand – she’s overly familiar with me, e.g. saying “please let me stay over tonight and I’ll be your best friend!” etc. She orders her parents around over the phone, too. However, in general, I enjoy children and teenagers. Which is a good thing, as I’m a youth worker for homeless teens.