Do you offer marriage advice?
My husband is not the friendliest or most talkative man. However, he found himself doing a little impromptu marriage counseling the other day. He went in for a haircut and the young barber apparently needed to talk to someone and he chose my husband.
He told my husband he was 27 and has been married 2 years with an 11-month old baby. He said he thought about leaving all the time. He said they argued constantly.
That day he was in particular trouble. It was his wife’s birthday and he hadn’t planned to do anything for her.
Michael told him bunches of things not necessarily in this order . He told him he needed to stop trying to change her. He told him he was just extending the fight by not backing down. He told him at the very least to apologize that she was feeling upset if he didn’t honestly think he had done anything wrong. He told him that especially after just having a baby his wife just wanted to feel special and that he needed to make an effort to do that. He told him it didn’t have to be big or expensive – just make some effort, like take her lunch or dinner that day. (He told him how for Christmas he surprised me by burning me a CD and putting on the MP3 player all my favorite Michael Jackson hits. Not expensive but I really appreciated the effort.)
My take on the story: Several things going on here. A lot of this is about the baby. Having a baby changes your relationship and it changes your interaction with your spouse. He just hadn’t fully adapted to being a daddy and a husband. It’s a lot of responsibility.
Along with that it’s immaturity. I told Michael this sounds like us 12 years ago. We used to bicker all the time. We fought tooth and nails and nobody was giving in. We really have mellowed in the last 7 or so years.
But that took YEARS of learning to work out our problems and not be so proud. It also took Michael learning how to explain to me what he was really upset about and not just express it as anger. (Don’t get me wrong: We still fight, but it’s much better than it used to be.)
Michael’s favorite comedian Louis C.K. has the routine about leaving. He says you think you can’t leave when you’re married but then you have kids and you know you really can’t leave!
I was proud of Michael giving this young man some good advice from his experiences and not just clamming up. I guess we’ll find out in another month how things are going when Michael goes in for a trim.
Are you willing to offer advice to other couples? Friends? Strangers? What advice would you have given this young man about his marriage?
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91 comments Add your comment
JATL
December 28th, 2010
12:56 pm
@Tiger -thanks! And I agree with marriage counseling. Especially if your fights are over the same thing(s) time after time after time and there never is really a resolution -you owe it to your marriage to give it a try AND to try a different counselor if one party feels like he or she isn’t being truly listened to.
Cannot tell you right now
December 28th, 2010
12:58 pm
““At church, we had a discussion about having a forgiving spirit or harboring bitterness. I admit that I do harbor bitterness. I can forgive mistakes but when the same issue happens over and over again, it is hard for me to forgive. Anyone else? ”
My suggestion: start praying. I have said it time and again. My Grandmother told me “you have to pray for him.” When my divorce was final. I said something like Grandma lets get your prescriptions checked, I don’t like him, I don’t want to see him, hear him or even think about him and you want me to PRAY about him. She said “Yes.”
So I started praying “Dear God, I hate that SOB but my grandma says I need to pray for him….” Well I have no idea if those prayers ever changed him. I do know they changed ME.
It has taken a number of years but I do feel that I am in a good place. My children have his photo up–even with the new woman in his life–and it effects/affects me as much as a poster of Justin Beiber would…ie I don’t care. I can reflecting back appreciate the good things I learned in the marriage…I am not as uptight as I was then.
Like I said I changed. I find that to be a good thing. I will also be better in my next relationship (and I pray there is one for me) because I took the time to heal from the bitterness.
As to the same mistakes repeatedly….well that depends on the mistakes. If he is repeatedly chasing other woman uh NO. If it is he repeatedly leaves the seat up–YES. Jesus said turn the other cheek, he never said be a doormat.
catlady
December 28th, 2010
12:58 pm
Y’know, regarding the young barber in the story: His wife has been pregnant or post-partum almost every day of their marriage!
Tiger Ochocinco Mellencamp
December 28th, 2010
1:01 pm
@JATL….you’re welcome….let me also emphasize that you’re particulary DEAD ON in your suggestion that men need to step up and do the little things that make a woman feel appreciated for the little things they do. It’s not rocket science to figure out that afternoon at the spa that I send my wife to for the massage, pedi, wax, and cut and color makes her much more open to making a victoria secret stop on the way home to properly showcase the treatments she just received!
Tiger Ochocinco Mellencamp
December 28th, 2010
1:25 pm
@catlady….that fact didn’t escape me either. For all the advice given…would anyone change their advice if it were determined she was suffering from post partum depression? Or if either one of them were victims of a bipolar disorder…or schizophrenia? Do either have a substance abuse problem?
Would the barber be able to diagnose any of these in his spouse or himself….and would he admit them to Michael if he or his wife had been diagnosed with them? To me…therein lies the problem of on the fly advice with only superficial knowledge. My dad used to always tell me there are two sides to every pancake. I’ve been known to be a betting man…and I’ll put a dollar on the bet that the barber’s wife has a different take on what’s happening at home.
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December 28th, 2010
1:26 pm
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Still Learning
December 28th, 2010
1:40 pm
@ Tiger
I am not making light of marriage counseling, I am sure it has been helpful for some. But for the handful of people I know that have gone through it, it didn’t work. That’s why I refered to my psychologist friend’s analogy.
I think you guys have expanded on it already and I agree, that the problem is probably in the individuals and not the marriage in this case. A marriage counselor cannot fix individual psych problems or financial issues, those deeper issues are better suited from other experts.
You guys have a good day
Tiger Ochocinco Mellencamp
December 28th, 2010
1:45 pm
still learning….would you say for the handful of folks you know who have gone through it and it didn’t work, that the counseling actually hastened the demise of the marriage?
Tuckergirl
December 28th, 2010
1:52 pm
I’m highly in favor of marriage counseling. I’m even more in favor of PRE-marital counseling, something a lot of couples forget because they are so IN LOVE and how could they possibly need counseling? Trust me, you need it!
My husband and I had pre-marital counseling, and while it did not reveal any huge red flags, it did reveal something about me that my husband had not been aware of. I was single much longer than he was so I was not only used to having some time to myself, I can’t function without it. He did not realize this until it came up in our pre-marital counseling.
After we were married, because he knew this, he did not take it personally if I wanted to be by myself to read a book or just veg for an hour here or there. He knew that this is what I need to function, to be myself. It wasn’t because I didn’t want to be with him. Had he not known this, I think it would have been a much rockier road that first year.
Still Learning
December 28th, 2010
1:58 pm
Tiger … yes, the marriages were doomed. Either they were looking for confirmation they were right or told they were wrong/need to change and they wouldn’t budge. I actually know a marriage or 2 that might of survived with counseling.
Like I said earlier, I am a firm believer in the fact we are our own worst enemies. Most of us inherently know if we are right or wrong, we just don’t do anything to change it. Our society is increasingly self absorbed, and I think many people have individual psych issues that are not getting resolved. They just keep searching for validation that they right and everyone else is wrong, or move onto someone that will put up with their crap (probably not for long).
DB
December 28th, 2010
2:00 pm
@deidre_nc: Can I suggest a slight change to your sentiment? Only because Cassandra-like invocations of doom are usually looked on as downers . . . :-) “May you always remember how happy you are today, and how happy we all are for you.”
I usually don’t offer much advice unless solicited — I MIGHT offer an observation, but as far as telling someone what to do? Eh, not so much. Unless they beg me. In that case, I can tell them what has worked for ME. There are so many different flavors of marriage, with so many personalities meshing in so many different ways, so many unspoken needs . . .
The thing that frosts me is when people learn I have been married for almost 30 years, and say, “Oh, you are so lucky!” My usual – tart – response is, “Luck had nothing to do with it. It was WORK.” Not to say that my husband is a difficult person — in fact, he is practically a saint, in that he is a wonderful husband and father, is good to his mother, kind to animals, is active and likes to do fun things. However, there are always going to be times when his expectations and mine are diametrically opposed — either in child rearing, finances, holiday celebrations, even what color tile to put in the bathroom. How those expectations are managed have a lot to do with the dynamics of the relationship (leader vs. follower, passive vs. aggressive, etc.)
JJ
December 28th, 2010
2:44 pm
I firmly believe, it you aren’t happy in the marriage, then you need to leave. Even if there are kids involved. I don’t believe in staying in an unhealthy marriage for the sake of the kids. If you are miserable and stay, you make everyone miserable.
Dr. Phil said it best…..”I would rather be healthy alone, than sick in a relationship”.
Tiger Ochocinco Mellencamp
December 28th, 2010
3:17 pm
@JJ….According to Dr. Phil’s first wife, he live that philosophy…..right after she confronted him for cheating on him with numerous other women.
Tiger Ochocinco Mellencamp
December 28th, 2010
3:28 pm
meant “cheating on her”
mom2alex&max
December 28th, 2010
3:30 pm
I’m not a big fan of marital counseling. I am sure it has worked for many couples (I don’t know of any though), but I just don’t know. I kinda agree with Still Learning: the couple goes because they want the therapist to take their side and make the other partner change.
When you have TWO people that are determined that divorce is just NOT an option, many things are possible: compromise, patience, caring, love, change. My husband and I had agreed that divorce was simply not an option, ever. That got us through a lot. When you take divorce OFF the table, you are forced to deal with everything and grow in love.
motherjanegoose
December 28th, 2010
3:39 pm
Will anyone answer this question for me?
Example…if your mail carrier left your mailbox open every day and your mail fell out on the curb…would it not drive you crazy? Would you get bitter at the mail carrier or could you just forgive the problem every day and let it go ? Will someone here please answer me?
I am all about turning the other cheek but self responsibility and being a grown up might help the equation. The toilet seat does not really bother me. Other things do.
Would men be patient with a wife who:
never remembered to put gas in her car
lost her cell phone on a regular basis
forgot to purchase routine items like milk or toilet paper
over spent the budget each month
I am just picking random examples. Sometimes, I feel like women are expected to put up with more from men. Is it just me?
Tiger Ochocinco Mellencamp
December 28th, 2010
3:48 pm
@mom2…would you speculate that marital counseling has ever contributed to the failure of a marriage? That a dysfunctional marriage was made even more dysfunctional through the process of counseling? Or that a healthy marriage would in some way be harmed by a couple sessions?
The only point I’m making about counseling is that it seemed the vast majority of advice offered was for couples simply to start communicating with each other…which ironically also seems to be the thing that has gotten them into their unfortunate circumstances to begin with.
For me, what counseling provided was a way to communicate to my spouse via a conduit initially…kind of like writing my private thoughts in a diary that she could see and wouldn’t go straight to the offensive/defensive because the conduit was there to provide her a response. The result was that I changed the way I communicated and developed the tools to not need that conduit any longer.
So while I’m not promoting it as advice to take, I’m just saying that “being nice” to my spouse when I was frustrated was like giving our relationship a fish…and we got to eat for a day. When I got the tools to talk straight from the heart and be honest with myself on how to tell her what I was feeling, we learned to fish, and have eaten well for the last 15 years or so.
I however am a very private person and didn’t want to look to family and friends for advice on how to make my marriage better…..I wanted a third party. In the end the counselor said very little, and my wife and I spent a lot of time talking and listening to each other through her. The good ones are the ones who know that less participation by them is more.
Regardless of how you feel about the efficacy of counseling, couldn’t we all agree it’s no worse or better of an option than “take her out to lunch on her birthday” in extreme circumstances like the barber talking to Michael who is thinking every day about leaving his wife. That didn’t appear to me to be a “we got in a fight” conversation, it kind of sounded like a marriage of the very edge of disaster. Hard to know though…I wasn’t there.
motherjanegoose
December 28th, 2010
3:59 pm
@ tiger…we have been to counseling…twice. I found it very enlightening and learned some things about myself and my spouse. I would still go but you have to work on the suggestions or the counseling is not effective. Kinda like going to a dietician who prescribes a new diet for your health or weight loss but you never do anything with it…just talking about it is not always going to solve the problem.
Tiger Ochocinco Mellencamp
December 28th, 2010
4:03 pm
@MJG…I think you’re in a not so unique situation.
Based upon a lot of what you’ve said in the past, you’re in a marriage that to me, would be absolutely untenable. I remember a while back you described how your husband threw or intentionally dropped a plate of spaghetti that you had made for him because he was mad at you.
You constantly praise his sacrifices as a man willing to do whatever it took to provide for his family (long commute in ATL in order to keep the kids fed, clothed, and sheltered in a good neighborhood) but then in the next sentence describe how he constantly criticizes you for not being the wife he wishes you were.
You freely admit that while you appreciate the sacrifices he has made for the family, you harbor a growing bitterness with every year spent together that he is either emotionally inept or just intentionally emotionally ignorant of your happiness.
So MY answer to your question is this…..YES…i would be understanding and patient with my wife for all those infractions you cited…and some of them she actually does, especially the gas and the cell phones! But not only am I patient with her about them, I actually find them fairly cute, because they’re the little quirky things about her that makes her who she is. More importantly, she SHARES her life with me. I am not shut out from her. I am not always reminded by her who I AM NOT and how different a person she wished I would have evolved into. She gives and shares with me the best of who she is, and in turn, I appreciate and am endeared to the things about her that might drive others crazy.
IMHO…that is the missing link between my marriage and yours. It would appear that your husband shares nothing but how he wishes you were someone else. And to be honest, other than a few isolated characteristics of his, it appears you give as good as you get.
I think what you have is common….I think you see that as what a normal marriage is. And you could be right. If you are, that’s all the more reason I’ll run home as soon as I can to give my wife a big passionate kiss and thank her for providing me and uncommon and abnormal marriage.
Tiger Ochocinco Mellencamp
December 28th, 2010
4:07 pm
@MJG…”Sometimes, I feel like women are expected to put up with more from men. Is it just me?”
It may not just be you….but from what I can tell you (and other women) expect yourself to put up with more than your husband…and then go into martyr mode when you do.
IMHO…that’s on you…not on a gender in it’s entirety.
motherjanegoose
December 28th, 2010
4:24 pm
Thanks Tiger, since we both came from dysfunctional families…maybe we do not know how to do it right? This makes me sad since I have two great kids who may not know how to be happy in marriage.
While there are many things I have taught them, I guess I failed here.
My husband lived with two alcoholic parents and I lived with and OCD Mom and a “my way or the highway” Dad. We did not have good role models.
I have learned this, no matter how wonderful ANY family seems…everyone has some problems.
They may fall into these categories:
termites ( eating away at the foundation) woodpeckers ( pecking away at everyday happiness)
landmines ( frequent blow ups that rock things to the core)
Mrs. G
December 28th, 2010
4:27 pm
I just wanted to say that I’ve really enjoyed reading the comments on this blog today…my husband and I have been married for six months and, despite the pre-marital counseling and the articles that we read before getting married (so, we thought we had some idea…), we’re definitely learning that marriage takes work and patience and compromise. All of our newlywed friends make it look so easy, but, in reality, I bet that they are dealing with the same issues that we are. In the six months that we’ve been married, we’ve had a couple of fights that I would say are worse than any that we had while we were dating. I read an article shortly after we got married, though, about a study that showed that couples who didn’t fight in their first year of marriage were more likely to be divorced by year three than the couples who did fight. Their explanation was that the couples who fought learned how to manage conflict in an effective and healthy way (which, let’s face it, is inevitible in most relationships!) and the others did not because they avoided it at all costs. Makes sense. So, the way I see it, our marriage is a work in progress…a fantastic and well worth it one. :)
Anyway, enough rambling…just wanted to say how much I appreciate everyone’s insight!
Tiger Ochocinco Mellencamp
December 28th, 2010
4:31 pm
@MJG….I’m not saying you’re doing it right or wrong. I think we all do the best we can. If you are happy with your marriage…then you’re doing it right. My point was not to say you’re doing it right or wrong…just to point out that it’s different than what I would be able to accept.
I get the feeling from your own words however, that you are not happy in your marriage. But again, I could be wrong.
So you tell me…..in a vacuum, irrespective of your kids that you love so much and are so proud of, are you happy in your marriage? Do you feel as if it is a healthy and happy relationship? Is your marriage a positive model of what you would hope for your children’s marriage and relationships with their spouses to be?
If you answer yes to those three questions…then you’re doing as well as anyone and my previous post was just the ramblings of a guys who is just as full of it as anyone else and should be ignored.
motherjanegoose
December 28th, 2010
4:36 pm
@ Mrs. G…if you are honest with yourself and your spouse….you will spat! This is why I cannot figure out why my sister tells me they have never fought in 25 years. I disagree with my own sister sometimes and know we would argue if we lived together for 25 years!
@ Tiger….a few weeks ago we were with adults at church and I was requesting prayer for my sister who was having a medical procedure. I mentioned that both of my sisters tend to have various health ailments and that I am the oldest and so far, do not have any ailments. A male friend said
( in the group) Yes, but you have ________ ( my husband’s name) and laughed as did others.
An outsider, we know, looking in at our life….
mom2alex&max
December 28th, 2010
4:54 pm
Tiger: I would never tell anyone NOT to go into counseling if they wanted. I just said *I* am not a fan. If it worked for you, good for you. I know it didn’t help others (including myself). To each their own.
MJG: I do many things that would drive anyone up the wall (the gas thing is one–I loathe filling up the car), but my husband understands and is patient. He does a lot of things that require me to hold myself down in order NOT to bang my head against the wall. I take deep breaths and remember his MANY virtues. That’s life.
FCM
December 28th, 2010
6:07 pm
“never remembered to put gas in her car
lost her cell phone on a regular basis
forgot to purchase routine items like milk or toilet paper
over spent the budget each month”
The first 3 would be able to be forgiven 70*7 or more. That last one can create a real burden later…so I would have to find away to work it out. One friend and her husband do a his/her/ours/retirement account system. They each agree to set aside “x” for retirement, the put “y” in ours and pay the communal bills–electric, house, etc–then put “z” in their individual accounts. Then if he or she is out of $$$ from their account that is their problem
Another couple I know does it differently. They know she makes 60% of the income and he makes 40%. So they look at the monthly budget and agree she will pay 60% and he will pay 40% anything left over from their pay put in their individual bank accounts. They discuss big purchases/trips etc and agree upfront that they will contribute “x” each to make it happen…that comes from the individual accounts. Again whatever is in “their” account can be spent no questions asked.
My grandparents did it differently. Every night they would pool the receipts of what was spent that day. Didn’t matter if it was hair salon for her or lunch for him at work. Then they split right down the middle…so if $100 was spent total they each needed to contribute $50. They looked at who paid what. She spent $75 and he spent $25 he gave her $25 in cash. PERIOD. No argument nothing. I would not recommend this last way of splitting the bills…but hey they stayed married more than 50 years (she died of cancer).
My parents went a whole different route. Mom controls the checking account–meaning she balances the books & makes sure all the bills get paid from the money in this account. She puts money in savings and it is for “big things” only…that can be a trip, or a new washing machine, or the roof repairs. Dad has knowledge at all times of how much is in the bank…Mom let’s him know how much she is expecting to pay out in bills (accruals).
OOOO gee how did I decide to go into accounting? ;)
motherjanegoose
December 28th, 2010
6:45 pm
@ tiger…not always. Neither my Dad nor my Father in Law were emotionally invested in their families. I am not familiar with that kind of relationship. My Father in Law did not even attend my Mother in law’s funeral as it was in a church and he despises the church. He waited outside in the car.
@ FCM….if you can forgive 70×7, then you are a much better person than me. How long were you married? Maybe, after 28 years, I am getting short on forgiveness…for the same things that irritate me over and over. Perhaps I expect too much.
Kate Bazilevsky
December 28th, 2010
7:16 pm
Actually, according to the Catalog of human population the most compatible people or soulmates are those who have their birthday on the exact same date. People with birthday on the same date are completely the same!
ssidawg
December 28th, 2010
8:01 pm
If people would be nice and kind and considerate to each other from the beginning of their relationships maybe they wouldn’t have to go to counseling.
FCM. on my cell
December 28th, 2010
8:08 pm
Mjg. Perhaps i just had better role models? My grandparents 50+ my parents and their sibs 40+ each of 5 married couples. The 6th was married 30+ then my uncle died. My cousin 32 years now. My other msrried cousin 25+. My brother and his first wife 10…but then he found her sleeping with anotheman.
Those things u mentioned didn’t end my marriage. Abuse, alcoholism, gambling, and drugs did. Bettet we ended it than I turn bittet and think only personal experience teachels me?
A smart man learns from his mistakes, a wise one learns from
FCM. on my cell
December 28th, 2010
8:10 pm
Anothrs mistakes
deidre_NC
December 28th, 2010
9:21 pm
@tiger..i am a fatalistic kinda person lol
@DB….actually that is more along the lines of what i really say. i was barely awake when i wrote that…what i really write is not so depressing and gloomy lol..really :)
i am a pretty blunt person. i try to keep my mouth shut because i have to tact (as my poor granny used to bemoan)….but i really take the time to be as tactful as i can with what i write on wedding cards lol….
i dont have a lot of faith in marriage because too many people are ready to call it quits at the first sign of dissension. hardly anyone sticks it thru and makes it ok anymore. as far as advice-im with tiger on that one-i will say what i did or didnt do in a certain situation but i wouldnt say it would work for everyone.
theresa your husband was great to step up to the plate for the young man. i hope it helped. at least gave him some new perspective.
deidre_NC
December 28th, 2010
9:23 pm
@mjg-it is hard to be ok with someone doing the same wrong thing over and over. especially when they are adults.
Do you offer marriage advice? – Atlanta Journal Constitution (blog) | Marriage Family Counselor
December 29th, 2010
4:07 am
[...] the day. He goes for a haircut, and a young barber who clearly need to talk, he chose my husband. Read More Share and [...]
FCM
December 29th, 2010
7:44 am
MJG I asked my Mom about it (she has 40+ years on that marriage sidewalk).
Mom said that in 30+ years living in the house my Dad still has no clue where certain things (Peanut Butter, mustard, and tuna for a few) live in her kitchen. BOTH her children know where these are but haven’t lived at home in almost 2 decades. Dad was asking her where his shoes were today as he can’t find them…he still puts empty peanut jars behind his chair. He leaves her car on empty when he barrows it–even if she had a full tank.
So apparently you’re not alone in the boat that this kind of thing does happen–but again she said somewhere around 30 years she realized she had a good man and she had kept him that long and planned to keep him longer. Her anger and irritation caused her to feel bad, but other than her harping on him and causing strife it did no good. SO accepting this is how he is, he was never going to change, and moving forward….bless it and let it go is how she phrased it….there just plain wasn’t anything that was going to happen. She said those little things I mention that irritated her mean even less now since his stroke. She said she hopes you do not have to watch you husband suffer a stroke to realize just how precious he is and to appreciate even the little things that irk you that show he is still there with you.
motherjanegoose
December 29th, 2010
1:40 pm
@ kate…our birthdates are ONE WEEK apart….does that mean anything?
@ssidawg…I will take considerate!
Thanks FCM…I spent the night with my ( unmarried) sister last night and just got back home. We talked about the comments from yesterday and she reminded me that while folks here have opinions…we all do and no one here has been in my four walls…she has.
Once, I came home from a week trip and the JUMBO pack of toilet paper I typically keep in the garage, was in our front foyer. I asked, “what is this doing here?”
“we got tired of going to the garage for toilet paper and moved it inside.”
“Looks great on the hardwoods and in front of the stained glass door!”
I would have simply put 2 extra rolls in each bathroom but maybe I am the crazy on here!
To me, no one has it all! I am lucky that I have a career I love, 2 great kids, a roof over my head/food to eat/ a car to drive, lots of wonderful friends and yes I am married for 28 years to a kind, hard working man who is a good father to our kids and great neighbor too. He will help anyone who needs help and comes home every day. I should count my blessings.
@ deidre…thanks…the trash can is still on the curb. Trash day was yesterday. I used to nag my husband to get it back in but now I just leave it out there. Sometimes, neighbors remind him too!
FCM
December 29th, 2010
2:58 pm
MJG–Erma Bombeck wrote a piece once about having had “How to Replace the Toilet Paper Roll” demos for her family. Yet she was still the only one who did it. :)
Tim Allen used to do a comedy routine about vacccumning the livingroom rug–and that he was careful to go over the areas like he did with he lawn mower out front, so that it was all nice and even. His wife would come in and say “you didn’t vac”. “I did so.” “But there are no track marks on the rug!!!”
I am not sure that you are crazy that you would put 2 rolls in each bathroom. My Mom is the same way–stocks them once a week and leaves the rest in her basement. I think it makes you crazy that the family did not do it your way. (And of course that they left the TP out in foyer).
FCM
December 29th, 2010
3:01 pm
oh—and with the kids not here this week i forgot about the trash can myself this week. I brought it in this morning (Trash was Monday) when I saw it as I was leaving. I was afraid if I left it another day someone might try to break in as if nobody were home.
motherjanegoose
December 29th, 2010
3:23 pm
@ FCM….one time, we were walking the dog at night and our trash can was still out there. Our neighbors had gone on vacation and there’s was out too….after a few days. I say to my husband,
“oh wow…maybe we should take their trash can in…I think they are on vacation.”
YEP …he took the neighbor’s trash can in but ours was still out there on the third day.
I really do not care if others want to do the toilet paper my way. I DO NOT want to trip over a GIANT warehouse package of toilet paper and other convenient items that are strewn all down the front hall.
Did Erma have a piece about throwing trash in the kitchen sink because it is too tedious to open the cabinet that is right underneath and put the trash in the trash can? I want to see it :).
FCM
December 29th, 2010
5:40 pm
I found this on healthy marriage by Erma:
http://seejanesoar.theadventurouswriter.com/5-habits-of-a-healthy-marriage-erma-bombeck/
FCM
December 29th, 2010
6:27 pm
Ermaisms:
Education is so important when it comes to domesticity. I don’t know why no one ever thought to paste a label on the toilet tissue spindle giving 1-2-3 directions for replacing the tissue on it. Then everyone in the house would know what Mama knows.
Good kids are like sunsets. We take them for granted. Every evening they disappear. Most parents never imagine how hard they try to please us, and how miserable they feel when they think they have failed.”