Another royal wedding? What to do when family announces wedding, births near your date?

I am baffled as to why Princess Anne’s daughter Zara Phillips would announce her engagement less than a month after her cousin Prince William announces his very high profile nuptials!

Zara’s not going to get any attention with her cousin’s giant wedding taking up all the spotlight.

According to the story they already have a house together. Why would he ask her now? Why compete?

She could have a perfectly lovely royal wedding later. Why propose/announce it now?

New York magazine’s fashion section is already comparing Zara’s and Kate’s engagement rings and engagement photos. Why beg the comparison?

What do you think of Zara getting engaged and announcing so close to her cousin’s wedding announcement?

Have you ever had a sibling or cousin step on your wedding announcement or birth announcement? How did you handle?

50 comments Add your comment

motherjanegoose

December 22nd, 2010
12:09 pm

Since I over posted on the previous blog today, I will pass on this one. While others may be highly concerned about this…I DO NOT CARE.

I do not feel I own the calendar and thus cannot control things.

I have told my kids that if they ever decide to get married, please check the date with me,
I have signed contacts and commitments sometimes a year out and would like to attend their wedding…LOL.

Have a nice day all!

Tiger Ochocinco Mellencamp

December 22nd, 2010
12:09 pm

“I am baffled as to why Princess Anne’s daughter Zara Phillips would announce her engagement less than a month after her cousin Prince William announces his very high profile nuptials!”

I’m baffled why anyone would care.

“Zara’s not going to get any attention with her cousin’s giant wedding taking up all the spotlight.”

Maybe not everyone looks at life as an opportunity to be in the spotlight. TWG…kind of seems like you’re disappointed FOR them to not take the shot at being the center of attention. That’s kind of disturbing.

JJ

December 22nd, 2010
12:19 pm

Who cares? Deal with it and carry on…….

lurker

December 22nd, 2010
12:28 pm

@Tiger, exactly! Why should anyone care about why/when they propose/get married?? Maybe they want to get married! Maybe they dont care if they dont have the attention! Here’s a thought…..maybe they did it now to AVOID the attention!!

penguinmom

December 22nd, 2010
12:35 pm

I have to agree with others, really don’t care when the British royalty get married. Perhaps the other announcement spurred the other man to step up.

As far as having a sibling/cousin ’step on’ an announcement, I don’t think that has happened in our family, but I don’t think it would be a big deal. If I were getting married, I would be excited to have someone else close going through the same experience. Getting attention is never the reason one of us announces something, instead we are sharing news and joy. I think if you are announcing something just to get the attention, there are other bigger problems you need to deal with.

Tiger Ochocinco Mellencamp

December 22nd, 2010
12:54 pm

“Have you ever had a sibling or cousin step on your wedding announcement or birth announcement?”

This is kind of the rub of the whole topic….and obviously TWG, it in some way disturbs you and you find it insenstive of the cousins to make such a move. Your angle on this topic leads me to believe that you would by very understanding and supportive to and agree with Kate and Billy if a Wikileak of Kate’s reaction went a little like this……

“can you believe that my cousin announced her engagement so soon after I announced mine? Am I wrong to be offended by THEM announcing THEIR happiness so soon after I announce MINE? Don’t they realize that by going public with THEIR love at this time, that MY happiness is significantly reduced because I don’t have an adequate amount of time to be the SOLE recipient of attention?!?! Now I have to compete with THEM because THEY have stole MY thunder! It’s going to be impossible for ME to have a good wedding when THEY are getting married within the same month!”

Like it or not…that’s the message….very princess-diva-bridezilla-narcissistic if you ask me.

Hopefully we all can recognize the truly classy, elegant, and kind opinion of the second announcement is….

“I’m so happy for them! Love is a hard thing to find in today’s world, and the fact that my cousin found it fills my heart with joy!”

DB

December 22nd, 2010
1:02 pm

Zara’s been pretty low-profile all her life — I daresay that making an official “announcement” wasn’t her idea in the first place, but as the Queen’s grandaughter, she simply has to suck it up and put a smiling face on it. She wouldn’t have gotten the same kind of attention, anyway — her brother’s wedding a couple of years ago barely made a blip on the media radar. It would have been a two-day wonder at best.

She’s living with the guy, and they have known each other for 10 years. I don’t think any rational person is going to think that Zara is trying to steal William’s thunder — they are just getting married, and what William does and what Zar does have nothing to do with the other. At their age, it’s almost impossible to keep from overlapping to some degree — people grow up, get married, and you really can’t expect them to re-arrange their nuptials to suit the media. Nobody was seriously surprised at the announcement, and next week, people will be saying, “Zara who?” I doubt she wants a “perfectly lovely royal wedding,” with all the media blitz and hoopla that surrounds it — otherwise, she’s had plenty of opportunities in the last ten years to be in the spotlight. She can have a “perfectly lovely wedding” without all that media circus — and would probably prefer it.

The royal family has a very intimate understanding of how the media works. Being worried about having engagement rings compared is just not something that they are going to worry about, because they recognize it for what it is — an attempt to increase circulation.

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motherjanegoose

December 22nd, 2010
1:15 pm

Off topic but this is something I am proud to announce:

all stockings are stuffed

all presents are wrapped and under our tree….except 2 dog toys and one photo frame that needs the picture inserted

all cards are mailed

all packages I shipped via FEDEX have been received by their parties

baking has not been started and so I just looked for some things in the pantry and a brand new bottle of Crisco Oil fell out and landed on my toe…ouch! This is not the first nor last time it will happen…my husband avoids the pantry for this reason…I shop in bulk as I hate to shop.

Just wanted to share….LOL…I am outta here for real now! I think I will stroll through the mall…NOT….I have not been in the mall since before Thanksgiving!

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to my blog friends and thanks for putting up with my foolishness.

DB

December 22nd, 2010
1:15 pm

Actually, what I think is hilarious is that the British newspapers are making such a stink over the fact that Zara’s fingernails weren’t picture-perfect, and keep muttering that she should have seen a manicurist before showing off her ring. Good grief . . .

JATL

December 22nd, 2010
1:32 pm

This doesn’t matter to me. Perhaps Zara wants it this way -without limelight! Unless a very close family member or friend got married the very next day or weekend before or after I did -I wouldn’t care either (and honestly -unless it was the next day -I don’t think I would care at all). My husband’s close cousin married 2 weeks before we did and no one thought anything of it.

As far as births go -well -those happen when they happen! The notion some people have that their pregnancy and birth is supposed to be the ONLY one in a family or group of friends is beyond selfish and immature. My best friend told us she was pregnant one week in June of that year, and I had decided to wait until around Christmas to start trying. She asked me, “Don’t you want to do this with me?” I told her I would let her take this one and I would follow on her heels. Then I found out the next week I was pregnant too! We were delighted to share that time in our lives together and to have children 9 days apart.

xxx

December 22nd, 2010
1:52 pm

Good God, get a life.

Theresa Walsh Giarrusso

December 22nd, 2010
2:39 pm

Deidre — If you are on today please email me — i can’t access address your email from my phone and I can’t get into my gmail account on the big computer — I’ve got to fix that — there are several people that are trying to get in touch with you that I want to forward info to you!!! but i need your email — so email me at the gmail account and then I can forward you stuff –

Yentas

December 22nd, 2010
2:40 pm

I am shocked that anyone would care about this. Get a life.

RH

December 22nd, 2010
2:47 pm

How dare William announce his engagement mere weeks before his cousin’s baby is due (the Queen’s first Great Grandchild). . . .get real. Families grow, get married and have kids. What business is it of anyone’s when people to choose to share life’s joys.

Theresa Walsh Giarrusso

December 22nd, 2010
2:54 pm

DB — i saw that about her hand. She’s a rider and outdoors person — that seems an unfair criticism

I don’t know why I care so much about the royal family but I do!! i just finished a book about William and Harry going over their lives since childhood up until the recent engagement. I will also get the new Andrew Morton book on william and Kate when it comes to my library. Got to get on the list now!! I just feel bad for this girl and I think her boyfriend wasn’t thinking clearly!!

(Reading a non-fiction book now on Lincoln’s death so I don’t always read trash — just sometimes!)

Mattie

December 22nd, 2010
3:04 pm

My brother and I inadvertently got engaged the same day. His wife definitely thought we stole their thunder, since my brother is older than I am. They picked an earlier wedding date of April vs. my Sept. Whatever.

My son just became engaged this week, and his future wife has mentioned a Dec. 2011 wedding. I am doing my best to discourage that, but I’m working through my son rather than his fiancee. Most of my family is from the Northeast, and one snowstorm could wipe out half the guest list.

Yum Food!

December 22nd, 2010
3:15 pm

@Mattie – what if she has always dreamed of a Christmas wedding? You planned your wedding, let her plan hers. I’m sorry and not trying to be snarky, but let her have her wedding the way she wants it and when. It may not be the way you would do it, but your not the bride.

muffin

December 22nd, 2010
3:31 pm

My sister in law announced her pregnancy right after (as in one day) I gave birth to my third baby. She told everyone not to tell me that she was pregnant because she had a healthy baby and I didn’t (mine was in the NICU). She hadn’t even seen the doctor yet because she hadn’t missed her period yet. She had took an early pregnancy test. I felt it was in very bad taste. Maybe she could have announced it after she went to her first doctor’s visit.

kris

December 22nd, 2010
3:47 pm

Haven’t William and Kate been together about 8 years or so?? Haven’t they been living together for some time?? Who cares if his cousin announces her own engagement so soon after W & K??

I have heard of people who want family and friends to plan weddings and other significant events around
college football season, or hunting season, etc. I would just tell them “if you can be there with us on this
joyous occasion, that will be great, but if not, we will miss you.”

Light

December 22nd, 2010
4:01 pm

Let God will be done thru this blog http://lightoftheearth.blogspot.com/

Tiger Ochocinco Mellencamp

December 22nd, 2010
4:06 pm

” I think her boyfriend wasn’t thinking clearly”

TWG….So let me get this straight…if you were in this situation, you would be upset and/or disappointed at your boyfriend for the timing of his proposal to you?!? Seriously?!? Really?!?

As a guy, let me say honestly, from the heart, that I would revoke my proposal to any woman who responded that way to my request/invitation to spend our lives together. Sorry, but just a little to shallow for me.

lurker

December 22nd, 2010
4:11 pm

@Tiger – I agree with you! My BEST friend got married the weekend after I did and no one thought (or at least said) anything about it!!

atlmom

December 22nd, 2010
4:15 pm

@Mattie: really, you can’t plan anything. Let them have a dec. wedding if that’s what they want. My friend got married the weekend after 9/11 – so many of her friends/relatives couldn’t make it because flights/etc were canceled or whatever.
you just never know.

catlady

December 22nd, 2010
4:15 pm

Theresa, MAYBE ZARA DOESN’T CARE! MAYBE SHE DOESN’T SEE THE COMPETITION HERE! Maybe she is just happy marrying the man she apparently loves (as she lives with him, as you point out) and doesn’t feel the need to “play the princess.”

I just can’t imagine this being anything an adult would care about.

FCM

December 22nd, 2010
4:24 pm

Perhaps the bride was thinking—OMG I AM GETTING MARRIED!!!! Called Mum and Grandma (Queen ELizabeth) and well…at that point things seem to take a life of their own.

The groom to be was probably thinking “OMG I FOUND THE WOMAN I WANT TO SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE WITH! I BETTER PUT A RING ON IT!” He was not concerned that Wills (I would think a serious boyfriend of a close cusion probably calls him that) was getting married too. Heck it might have even been what gave Mr. Rugby the courage to do it. You just never know.

Both of my pregancies were “shared” with at least one other of his siblings being pregnant too. One gave birth a week after me. The other a month or so later. Who cares!

As to it hurting Kate…ROFL. Somehow I think if that girl has a problem with it she will let future cuz know. If she is smart she will do no more than send best wishes. She strikes me as smart. Besides there is no snub like a British snub.

Mattie

December 22nd, 2010
4:31 pm

@Yumj Food and Atlmom, it’s my son’s wedding too. He will want his aunts, uncles and cousins there. I see nothing wrong with pointing out weather must be a consideration. We lived in NJ for most of his life, so many of his friends are up there too.

Jenn

December 22nd, 2010
4:35 pm

Maybe Zara told her boyfriend she was tired of just living together and that if William was getting married, they should too!

markie mark

December 22nd, 2010
4:39 pm

I have had the “thunder stolen” from a sibling….my fiancee and I announced our engagement…mom (widow with 3 kids she raised) got all excited and spent weeks planning with my future wife. After about 2 months, my little sister (youngest of three and the only girl) announced her engagement. Man, mom dropped us like last week’s news and from there on it was all my sister, all the time. My wife of 23 years gets angry about it when its brought up to this very day…..

Tiger Ochocinco Mellencamp

December 22nd, 2010
4:47 pm

@markie….why is that your sister’s fault and not your mom’s?

Kind of like kicking the cat when the dog craps in the house.

Becky

December 22nd, 2010
4:59 pm

Uhh, who cares what they do..Weddings are way overrated (IMO)..My own sister didn’t come to my first wedding because she went deer hunting..

As for birth announcements..Please..I have five sisters and at any given time, two or three of them were pregnant at the same time..No problem for them..I have three nephews and one neice, one born Oct, Nov, Jan and April..Don’t think any of my sisters felt that their thunder was stolen..Life happens, deal with it and learn to enjoy it..

Westrrrrr

December 22nd, 2010
5:09 pm

I can’t help myself but need to respond……how the eff cares. really. Who really cares enough to even comment? :)

Been There

December 22nd, 2010
5:29 pm

I think the question here is about stepping on someone else’s celebration. This happened to me when my husband and I got married. A month before our wedding my sister in law announces that she is engaged (we didn’t even know she was dating anyone – she had a different boyfriend like a month prior). No biggie, we’d been engaged for a year…. BUT… for some reason they feel they need to get married two months after us… We got stiffed by his parents for the remainder of our honeymoon payment which they promised they’d pay for because they now had to throw a wedding together for her. Honestly, I think she was jealous that no one was paying any attention to her. Her little plan backfired though (and I felt bad for her). At her bridal showers that took place after our wedding people were passing around photos of our wedding (I did not bring them – someone else did) and asking me about our honeymoon etc. People also kept asking us if she was pregnant and that’s why they were getting married so soon. Even her parents were skeptical that it would last. Thank goodness it has. The wedding was so thrown together that they played the wrong music at her entrance.. at which point 20 more people ran in front of her as she’s walking down the aisle to find seats. The reception ran out of food and drink because they only planned for 200 but 400 showed up. It was disastrous. My mother-in-law was in tears half of the time because they had to cut some major corners like hiring caterers and decorators/florist – worth every penny (i.e. they had helped us out with our wedding costs and had no extra money set aside for her wedding). So all in all.. it was disastrous. To this day, people only talk about our wedding, not hers. By being selfish she robbed herself of the experience that she should have had. And before anyone jumps allover me about this… you just have to know her.. and then you would understand.

markie mark

December 22nd, 2010
5:31 pm

Sorry for the delay, tiger….it absolutely was Mom’s fault….and hurtful as hell at the time….

motherjanegoose

December 22nd, 2010
5:35 pm

Home again and after reading the posts I do remember that when my sister called me to congratulate me on the birth of my son, she told me she was one month pregnant. I was thrilled for her and never thought it to be competition. Then, when my son was 2 and her son was 16 months, she called again to tell me she was pregnant….I LAUGHED. I told her I was glad that she would have two kids in 24 months and not me. I was busy enough with just a two year old! Now they are all grown and great kids!

motherjanegoose

December 22nd, 2010
5:37 pm

Oh and our parents never gave a flip about any of our kids, their grandkids, so we did not have that aspect to worry about. They never spent time with any of them. Still do not.

arlene

December 22nd, 2010
5:52 pm

Why shouldn’t she be allowed to announce her engagement? I don’t think she is trying to compete with her cousin. Let’s just wish her a very happy life with her husband.

deidre_NC

December 22nd, 2010
9:09 pm

ThERESA- i got your email so you must have found how to get through, i emailed you back. i have to say there are some lovely awesome people on here..

lol @MJG and the pantry..sounds like my freezer…frozen stuff really hurts when it lands on your foot lol..

as for stepping on toes on weddings etc…i had 2 weddings in 1 year…it was a nightmare lol..but we loved every minute of it. my daughter’s was in gatlinburg and we had a blast for 4 days—second one was my son-they got married at the resort i where i was a manager and it was also a blast for 3 days. it was very nerve wrecking to have 2 weddings in a 7 month period…especially destination ones (fairly close destinations thank god!) but it was really great.

JATL

December 22nd, 2010
9:26 pm

@Mattie -just a word or two of advice -you’re going to be tied to this woman your son is engaged to for the rest of your life. There may be grandchildren someday, so you don’t want them to start off pissed at you! The girl may have always dreamed of a Christmas wedding. I can tell you, 3 of my very closest friends are from NJ and another is married to a man from NJ. In 15 years, none of them have had relatives need to cancel visits for Christmas, nor have they had to postpone traveling home in December due to weather. Yes, it happens once in awhile, but most likely it won’t. A severe tornado system or hurricane could ruin many a June bride’s wedding anywhere, but especially the south. Often airports are closed and flights are delayed for whole days or weekends when a severe storm system is moving through. There are no guarantees any time of year! If you “work on” your son about this, it’s going to cause him angst and stress because he wants to make you happy AND he most definitely wants to make her happy. Also, know that he IS telling her exactly what you’re thinking and saying. There may be bigger battles to fight in the future -don’t make this one of them!

the truth hurts

December 22nd, 2010
9:39 pm

You promised me a sex blog about a week ago. I’m holding you to it.
Nothing really since the mood-altering semen article.

deidre_NC

December 22nd, 2010
10:14 pm

theresa its ok if you care about them. i really dont…but i was way into princess diana during her whole wedding and life and her death really affected me (as it did many). i just thought she was so sweet and kind.

deidre_NC

December 22nd, 2010
10:46 pm

@the truth hurts–unfortunately if there is a blog day on sex ill be left out :( lol

lwa

December 23rd, 2010
12:30 am

@Mattie…. Let the couple decide on the wedding date. Please don’t be a meddling mother-in-law. December is a little safer than other winter months.
Yes, it is your son’s wedding also…..just remember, not yours. You had your chance. Just support them all the way, not on your terms.

motherjanegoose

December 23rd, 2010
3:19 am

@ mattie…we got married in December, in the midwest. I am with JATL here.

When my son was in Kinder, the teacher sent home a note about something he did. This was in the fall of the school year. His version was a bit different ( imagine it). My husband was perturbed and wanted to call the teacher to have a few words with her. I told him that we needed to get the truth as their was no sense in making her mad and having to endure an entire school year with her in that mood.

FYI…her version was correct.

You will hopefully have a lifetime with this young lady…let her have her day. You can never control the weather. A dear friend’s daughter had a lovely garden wedding. What if it had been pouring rain?

HB

December 23rd, 2010
10:06 am

As someone who has spent many summer hours stuck at or trying to get to Hartsfield when tornadoes rolled through, I have to join others in saying fixating on the possibilty of a big December snow is silly.

Re: stealing thunder — too many people are more concerned about the wedding and the attention it brings than the marriage itself. If you can’t be just as thrilled about your marriage or new baby if a relative is experiencing the same joyous event close to that time and view it as competition, I’d worry that you’re not mature enough for marriage or parenthood.

1911A1

December 23rd, 2010
10:36 am

All I can say is, who gives a wet fart?

Sam

December 23rd, 2010
11:45 am

Maybe to some people a wedding isn’t about maximizing attention?

Sk8ing Momma

December 23rd, 2010
4:08 pm

1. Who cares?
2. Even if one cares, who owns the calendar???

To each her own and Godspeed to both couples! :)

Warrior Woman

December 23rd, 2010
5:21 pm

First, who cares? Second, why do you think Zara should wait more than a month after Phillip’s announcement instead of announcing her engagement when it occurs?

Warrior Woman

December 23rd, 2010
5:23 pm

Sorry, should have been William’s announcement.