Journalist Lisa Ling said in a story that ran yesterday that she felt like a “complete failure” after suffering a miscarriage six months ago.
“Ling, who appeared on “The View” from 1999 to 2002, came back to the show Tuesday to talk about her experience. Her taped appearance will air Friday.”
“Ling says that after she’d been pregnant for nine weeks, she was told her baby had no heartbeat. She says she “felt more like a failure than I’d felt in a very long time.” Ling, who is 37, says she fears it might happen again, leaving her “devastated.” Ling is married to oncologist Paul Song.”
“She says she realized that many women she knew had miscarriages but rarely talked about it. She and a business partner have started a website that encourages women to anonymously share their experiences.”
Ling’s web site where women can talk about their miscarriages and other “secrets’ is www.secretsocietyofwomen.com.
I felt so sorry for Ling reading this. It’s terrible for her to feel like she’s done something wrong or “failed” because she miscarried. I agree with Ling that women don’t talk much about miscarriages.
Giuliana Rancic, E host, and husband Bill Rancic, of “The Apprentice”, recently talked on TV about her miscarriage in October. In US magazine she talked about the guilt of miscarriage.
“Bill and Giuliana Rancic say that they’re toughing it out with their IVF treatments — sometimes involving more than 60 shots in a month — to get pregnant.”
“The stars of Giuliana and Bill first opened up about their miscarriage in October. “It was several months of guilt and sadness,” Giuliana, 36, told The View.”
“Now, the couple is optimistic about their chances. ‘The good news is that IVF did work as we did get pregnant…’
Singer Lilly Allen is another star that has had several public miscarriages. This poor woman suffered one in November while six-months pregnant. (I can’t imagine losing a baby at 6-months!) She also lost a baby in 2008.
“The 25-year-old singer was said to be responding well to treatment for septicaemia and thanked fans for their messages of support. ”
“Allen was around six months pregnant when she lost her baby earlier this week.”
“In a statement, her publicist said: “Lily Allen is back in hospital, where she is being treated for septicaemia.”
” ‘She is responding well to treatment and her condition continues to improve.”
” ‘Lily thanks everyone for their messages of support and again asks that she and partner Sam Cooper be left alone whilst she recovers.’ ”
“Allen had indicated she was unwell to fans on her Twitter site on Friday.”
“She tweeted: ‘I’m still very sick but the messages are helping me to be stronger. Thank you xx.’ ”
“On October 30, she had tweeted: ‘Say a little prayer x’.
“A spokesman later revealed the couple had lost their baby.”
“At the time, her spokesman said: “It is with great sadness that we have to confirm that Lily Allen and Sam Cooper have lost their baby.”
” ‘The couple ask that their privacy be respected and that they be left alone at this deeply distressing time. No further comment will be made.’ “
To my knowledge I have never had a miscarriage but I did feel like a failure when it took 11 months to get pregnant with our first child. I couldn’t understand what the problem was. I had regular periods, knew I was ovulating so why wasn’t I getting pregnant? It was an awful to go month-after-month and each time the test be negative. (I know other women suffer through years of trying. Eleven months were frustrating enough for me.) We got pregnant with Walsh right away but it took seven or eight months to get pregnant with Lilina. I just felt like “Oh No! Not again!” I hated getting on that bus of stress and ups and down hoping each month only to be disappointed.
So what do you think: Why do women feel like failures when they miscarry or can’t conceive? How can those feelings be remedied? Is it just a matter of women sharing so they know they are not alone? Have you had either of these experiences and how did you feel?